Rescued by the Dreamy Doc / Navy Officer to Family Man
Page 29
‘Don’t worry, I’m sure Mum or Maggie can help out,’ she snapped at him. She could hear the bite in her tone but she couldn’t help it. She should have known better and her foolishness made her angry.
‘I’m sorry, Jules, but you know what the navy’s like. Everything is planned so far in advance, I need a bit more notice.’
She did know what the navy was like. She knew very well. But that didn’t make her feel any better. ‘Sure. Forget I asked.’
She hung up the phone, feeling ridiculously annoyed and frustrated and angry. Sam had asked her to call if she needed help and stupidly she’d taken him at his word. She’d actually thought she might be able to rely on him, but all his platitudes about how important his family was had been just talk. Nothing had changed. Sam had learnt nothing from the weeks they’d spent together as a family last year. Already work was his number-one priority. Maybe he saw elective surgery as not important but she wasn’t going under the knife without due consideration. It was about more than just her physical appearance. She needed this emotionally as well.
Her feelings for Sam had been a big influence on her decision to have this surgery and now she felt like a fool. Why had she thought this would make any difference? She should have known better.
27 January 2009
Once again it was Maggie who came to help and, even though she was all Juliet needed, when it came time to be admitted to hospital Juliet was still irritated that Sam hadn’t made it.
She tried not to be disappointed, tried not to worry, but the feeling that he should be there was almost too strong for her to ignore. But there wasn’t anything she could do about it. She had to get on with things, had to move ahead.
‘Morning, Juliet, how are you feeling?’ Ben McMahon stepped into her room. She’d been impressed with his knowledge and confidence and his natural, easy bedside manner at her first appointment and hadn’t hesitated to choose him as her surgeon. ‘I just thought I’d go over the basics with you once more, to make sure you’ve got everything straight in your mind.’ He’d had a clear vision and understanding of what she needed and she was comfortable with her decision but still nervous about the actual operation. She knew that Ben had realised this and was there to try to set her mind at ease.
She greeted him and watched as he took the few steps he needed to cross the room. He was wearing a navy suit with a blue shirt that matched his eyes and he was smiling. He had a nice smile that framed a set of even, white teeth and he was tall, dark and handsome, if you went for that type. Personally she preferred her men tall, blond and handsome, with green eyes and a lopsided smile.
‘Now, remember, this is just the first step. I’m going to implant the tissue expander under your chest muscle and the second step will start in a fortnight when we begin the weekly procedures to inject the saline solution into the expander. Depending on how easily your skin stretches, it may take between six and eight weeks before there’s enough space to swap the expanders for the implants. You’ll have little or no feeling in your breasts as this is purely cosmetic, and if you decide you want a nipple reconstruction I’ll have to do that at a later stage. Is that how you understood the plan?’ Juliet nodded. ‘Do you have any questions?’
‘I don’t think so.’
‘All right. The anaesthetist will be in to see you shortly. We’ve discussed your reaction last time and he’s going to give you something for the nausea while you’re under anaesthetic. I’ll see you in Theatre.’
The anaesthetist came and the nurse came, but the constant checks just added to Juliet’s feeling of disquiet. Her nerves were building and, to make matters worse, as she was being wheeled off for surgery she recalled the dream she’d had following the mastectomy?when she’d watched the faceless woman walk off with her family. Her replacement.
Her nervousness intensified but overriding it all was her irritation with Sam. His offers of help had been empty promises, his words worthless. At least she knew there was no point in trying to salvage their relationship. She had to move on, for her own sake. She needed to be independent. Thank goodness she hadn’t done anything foolish while they’d been in Merimbula. The reality was she was still on her own and Sam, despite his promises, had still put work first. Nothing had changed and she was glad they hadn’t taken things further.
Somehow now she even felt like blaming him for the dream she’d had. As if he’d put the idea into her head. She knew she was supposed to remain as calm as possible, she knew that the more stressed patients were before surgery the worse their recovery was, and she knew that was why Ben had stopped by earlier?he’d been trying to set her mind at ease. But nothing had worked. She was cross and concerned now and there was no time to calm herself down. She could almost feel her blood pressure rising and there was nothing she could do about it.
The light was incredible, as though the whole sky was glowing. Juliet looked up and was surprised to find it wasn’t the sky but the air itself that shone. Almost as though each little oxygen particle had its own light source within it. The light was bright and reminded her of those hot summer days when, as teenagers, she and her sister had lain at the beach, sunbathing, and they’d had to close their eyes against the glare of the sun. But even with your eyes closed the sun still shone through your eyelids, as though your eyelids were made of gauze.
But this light didn’t hurt her eyes—she didn’t need to close them. This light was welcoming. This light was like a living thing.
She stretched out one hand, thinking she’d be able to touch it, but of course there was nothing there.
It was warm, though. Juliet hadn’t realised how cold she was but she could feel the light landing on her skin, wrapping around her, enveloping her, warming her, and she knew she was safe. She walked into the light, wanting to feel its warmth on her skin. She turned round, letting the light warm her back.
Now she could smell fresh grass. Where was she? She had no recollection of being anywhere. She looked down, expecting to see grass under her feet, but there was nothing, just the light.
No, there was something beyond the light. People. They were busy, moving quickly. Coming and going around a central point like bees buzzing around a hive. What were they doing?
She frowned and looked up again, turning round in a slow circle. The light was all around her now but there was nothing else. No landmarks, no people, no sky, no ground. Nothing.
‘Juliet. Juliet, can you hear me?’
The voice was coming from her left. She turned but there was still nothing to see. Nothing but the light.
‘Juliet.’
She thought she recognised the voice now—it was her brother-in-law.
‘Steven?’
She took a step towards him.
‘No!’
She stopped and her brother-in-law spoke again. ‘You can’t do this, Juliet. Can you hear me?’
‘Yes.’
‘It’s not your time yet.’
She frowned. He wasn’t making any sense?her time for what? ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Juliet, not now. Your children need you.’
And then she remembered. Steven was dead, he’d been dead for ten years.
The shock went through her like a bolt of lightning.
The light, Steven’s voice, this was what people talked about.
She looked down again. That was her in the middle of the circle of people. She was the beehive. All those busy people were buzzing around her. But while they were busy, she was still, lying on a table, immobile. She kept watching and saw one person lean forward as the others took a step back.
‘This time, Juliet.’
She looked back towards Steven’s voice as a second bolt of lightning hit her. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t breathe, and then the light faded to black.
He was gone and she was alone again.
‘Juliet, can you hear me?’
No, she wasn’t alone; he was still there. ‘Steven?’ She tried to open her eyes but her eyelids were too
heavy.
‘It’s Ben, Juliet. You’re in hospital. You’re in the operating theatre. Everything’s all right now.’
Ben? She didn’t know anyone called Ben.
She was tired and cold. She just wanted to be warm.
27 January 2009
Sam was exhausted. The Australia Day celebrations had been a huge exercise—just the final details alone had taken up almost every minute of the three weeks he’d been back at work. But now it was over. He’d debated jumping on the first flight to Melbourne that morning to be at the hospital for Juliet but she’d quickly put an end to that, telling him Maggie would be there and she would let him know how the surgery went. He knew she was mad with him, he knew she’d expected him to be there for her. He couldn’t blame her really. He had asked her to call him for help and the first time she’d done it he’d been tied up with work. Again.
But surely she could have delayed the surgery? It was only cosmetic after all.
Everything they’d achieved before Christmas had unravelled in the space of one conversation. They were back to square one, divorced and living in different cities.
He’d spoken to his captain about a desk job but he wasn’t even sure if that would be enough.
The morning dragged as he waited for Maggie’s call but when it came it wasn’t the news he’d been hoping for.
He snatched his phone up as it buzzed on his desk.
‘Maggie?’
‘Hi, Sam.’
‘How is she?’
‘Um, there have been some complications.’
‘What’s happened? Is she okay?’
‘She’s okay now but apparently she had a reaction to one of the drugs.’ Maggie paused. ‘They had to resuscitate her.’
‘Resuscitate her!’ Oh, God. Sam was grateful he was already sitting down. He put his head between his knees. He thought he was going to throw up.
‘Sam? Are you still there? Are you okay?’
He was perfectly okay. It was Juliet who wasn’t. His father’s words were repeating themselves in his head. I’m just wondering what you’d do if, heaven forbid, Juliet doesn’t make it. Would you drag your kids around the country then?
He hadn’t thought his father’s words would be so accurate. But it sounded like he’d come within a whisker of being in exactly that situation. What would he do?
‘What happened? Do you know?’
‘Her blood pressure was quite high when she went into Theatre and they gave her something to bring it down. They gave her some anti-nausea medication as well to try to eliminate the nausea she experienced last time and they think she had a reaction to that, which further dropped her blood pressure. She’s out of danger now and the doctor says she’ll be fine. We have to believe him, we have no other choice.’
‘Can I speak to her?’
‘Not yet.’
‘What about the doctor, Ben? Can I speak to him?’
‘I’ll ask the nurses to get him to ring you and I’ll let you know if anything changes. I’ll take care of her, Sam.’
He knew she would but he wanted to do it. Juliet was his girl. Even though they were divorced he still thought of her as his and he knew he always would. He had tried to do the right thing for his family by letting them stay in Melbourne but he should have stayed there too. He realised that now. Now more than ever.
He’d done it again. He’d let work dictate his life. He’d learnt nothing.
No. That wasn’t true. He’d learnt but he’d been too slow.
He wasn’t going to sit in Sydney any longer.
He was on the next plane to Melbourne.
He was going to get his wife back.
He hadn’t counted on not being allowed to see her.
‘I’m sorry, visitors are strictly limited in Intensive Care,’ the nurse told him.
‘But I’m her husband.’ Sam struggled to keep his voice down as he stretched the truth just a little. He hadn’t come there only to be foiled at the last hurdle.
The nurse was flicking through Juliet’s chart. ‘You’re not listed as her next of kin. You’ll have to wait for the doctor. If he thinks she’s up to an extra visitor then maybe you can see her.’
‘Can you ring Dr McMahon for me? He’s a friend of the family.’ Sam stretched the truth a little more in the hope the nurse would be persuaded to do him a favour. He needed to see Juliet now.
‘He should be here shortly,’ the nurse said, her tone terse. ‘If you have his number, you can call him.’
Sam’s ploy had backfired. He didn’t have Ben’s number, he’d only met him once, so he had no choice but to sit and wait. ‘If you’re expecting him soon, I’ll wait. No need to bother him unnecessarily,’ he replied, not wanting the nurse to think she’d had the last word.
‘Sam! Are you waiting to speak to me?’
Sam stood as Ben arrived and shook his hand. ‘I’m actually waiting to see Juliet.’
‘What’s the hold-up?’
Sam inclined his head towards the nurses’ station. ‘I’m not listed in her chart—that makes me persona non grata. I need your permission.’
‘She’s doing fine. Just let me do a quick check and then she’s all yours.’ Ben disappeared into the intensive care unit with the battleaxe of a nurse trailing behind. Sam watched from the doorway, looking for Juliet’s bed.
‘She’s pretty drowsy but you can have a few minutes with her,’ Ben said as he came out.
Sam didn’t need to be told twice.
She was so still. So tiny. Her head was bare, no wig, no scarf to cover her scalp, and Sam was momentarily surprised. He hadn’t seen her without some sort of head cover and although her hair had started to grow back, regrowth was minimal and the soft cap of downy hair was barely noticeable. If he hadn’t seen which bed Ben had gone to Sam doubted he would have recognised her. He double-checked the name tag above the bed.
He dragged a chair closer to the bed.
‘Jules?’
Her hand was resting on top of the sheet. He covered her hand with his and she opened her eyes.
‘Hi.’ He squeezed her fingers.
She smiled and a tidal wave of relief rushed over him. His eyes were burning and he could feel tears gathering.
‘You’re okay.’ He leant forward and carefully kissed her cheek, mindful of the tubes and wires connecting her to the various pieces of equipment.
He sat in the chair. ‘I’m so sorry I wasn’t here earlier. If I’d known…’How could anyone have predicted this? And what would he have done? His words tapered off. Juliet had closed her eyes and she said nothing. What could she say? The silence was broken only by the rhythmical blip-blip of the monitors.
Sam watched her, making sure she was breathing, watching the numbers on the monitor, waiting for her to speak. But there was nothing. Was she sleeping?
‘I’ve let you down again, haven’t I?’ He spoke to the silence. ‘I’m going to make up for it. I promise.’
Juliet’s monitors started beeping. The blip-blip changed to a buzzing sound. What did that mean? Was it an alarm? Sam looked up at the screen but, of course, the lines and numbers meant nothing to him. But none of the numbers read zero so he supposed that was a good thing.
The nurse bustled in; she pressed a button that switched off the alarm as she checked the screen.
‘You’ll have to leave now,’ she told Sam.
‘Is everything all right?’
‘She needs peace and quiet. She doesn’t need any more excitement. She needs to rest.’
Sam didn’t know where the nurse had got the idea that he was exciting Juliet. She seemed quite calm to him, but he knew the nurse was taking great delight in being able to evict him from the ICU. He wouldn’t argue. As long as Juliet was okay, he wasn’t going to make a scene.
He stood up and kissed Juliet again, aware of the nurse watching him closely. ‘I’ll be back and I’ll do a better job next time, I promise,’ he whispered to Juliet before he left the unit. Having seen her with his own
eyes, he felt much better. The visit had reassured him and he knew the trip had been worthwhile. He could go now and if he got a chance he would come back again before he had to return to Sydney. The nurse had asked him to leave but she hadn’t said he couldn’t come back.
Sam had promised Juliet he’d fix things. He’d promised twice. But while he had put the wheels in motion he now needed to speed things up?he couldn’t afford not to. He needed to speak to his captain again.
There were signs everywhere reminding visitors not to use mobile phones so Sam left the hospital building before dialling his superior’s number.
‘Sir, it’s Sam Taylor.’
‘Sam. What can I do for you?’
‘I’m just following up on our conversation regarding permanent postings. I need to know about the next available position in Melbourne?whatever it is.’ He had broached the subject when he’d returned from leave and had known it could take a while before something suitable came up, but that hadn’t bothered him at the time. Now he wanted something, anything, as soon as possible.
‘Why the rush?’
‘Juliet’s not well,’ he said, then explained what had transpired in surgery. ‘I need to be there. I need to be there soon.’
‘I’ll see what I can do.’
‘Thank you, sir.’ Sam knew his captain didn’t want to set him up with a permanent posting. He didn’t want to lose him and he’d told him that much in their first meeting, but Sam trusted him to keep his word and he knew the other man would do his best to find something. He just hoped it wouldn’t take too long.
CHAPTER TEN
February 2009
SOMETIMES Juliet wondered if she’d dreamt Sam’s visit to Melbourne when she’d been in the ICU. Her recollection was vague at best but Ben had confirmed that she hadn’t imagined it. Sam hadn’t stayed for long but he’d promised to return and now he was coming to Melbourne for the weekend. He was still promising to fix things but Juliet wasn’t putting much stock into that. He was being very cagey about his plans, and had told Juliet he was sorting some stuff out and would explain when he got there. He was coming to watch Kate in a ballet recital but Juliet didn’t know anything more than that.