Marry Me (Lyrics and Love Book 1)

by Samantha Lind

  I sit there, the heaviness of the day washing over me. I slowly drink my coffee, and just watch the other diners as I sit here, wallowing.

  I’m not sure how much time has passed, but something catches my eye out the window. When I look up, Lauren is standing in front of me, tears tracking down her face. I jump out of the booth as fast as I can, and am out the door and standing in front of her within seconds.

  “W-what are you doing here?” I ask her as I pull her into my arms.

  “I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn’t marry him when I’m in love with someone else,” she tells me, pulling me tighter against her as she buries her face in the crook of my neck.

  Holy shit, what does this mean? Who in the hell could she be in love with?

  I hold her tight against me, shushing her as I rub her back.

  Her crying grows quiet and as I feel her take in a few deep breaths, I pull back from her slightly so that I can look at her. I bring a hand up to cup her face, wiping at the last few tears with the pad of my thumb.

  “Tell me what happened.”

  She sucks in a shaky breath, calming herself. “Can we go in and sit down first?”

  “Oh, yes, absolutely.” I escort her inside the diner and to my booth.

  She slides in on the same side I was sitting on, and pats the seat, silently asking me to sit next to her. I comply, and settle in next to her, leaving a few inches between the two of us.

  She fumbles, rubbing her hands together, obviously thinking over what she’s about to tell me. I sit, doing my best to keep patient, while my mind is running crazy. I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket and pull it out to see a text from Steven.

  Steven: Did Lauren come find you? She bolted from the wedding.

  Sam: Yes, she just got here a few seconds ago. I’ll text you later.

  Steven: Okay, just checking as she didn’t say much to any of us before she bolted. I just wanted to make sure she was ok.

  I slip my phone back in my pocket, turning my attention back to her.

  “That was Steven, just checking to see if I knew where you were. He’s worried about you.”

  “I know,” she whispers. “I kinda bolted, didn’t know where I was going. Just knew I needed to get away from there.”

  “Ready to tell me what made you leave?”

  She sucks in another deep breath, turning as much as she can in the booth toward me. Her wedding dress, thankfully, isn’t a huge puffy one, so it doesn’t take up much of the space between us.

  “The past few months I’ve had this feeling like something wasn’t right, like I was about to make a mistake. The feeling intensified over the last few days and I tried to push it aside, thinking it was normal wedding jitters. Last night, after the rehearsal and after everyone turned in, I went and sat in the reception tent, trying to decipher all the thoughts running through my head. I couldn’t shake the feeling. As I sat there, thinking about the past and the future, all I could see was you.”

  Lauren pauses, wiping away a tear that’s sliding down her face.

  “I tossed and turned all night and this morning, and woke up with the feeling even stronger. I had a big meltdown this morning before I started getting ready. Zoey and Mom tried to get me to call off the wedding, or at least talk to Brad, but I didn’t want to do that to him. I pushed forward with getting ready and by the time the ceremony was to start, I was feeling better. When Dad and I arrived at the back of the aisle, I looked for you, but couldn’t find you. I knew you were there, as I’d seen you from the window when I was still upstairs. I looked everywhere and when I couldn’t find you, my heart sank. By then, Dad and I had started walking down the aisle, and when we reached the front, I knew I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn’t marry Brad when I was in love with you.”

  Holy shit, she’s in love with me?

  “Y-y-you’re in love with me?” I stutter, reaching out to cup her face.

  “Yes,” she says, a smile filling her face.

  The weight that had been on my shoulders immediately lifts as I bring my forehead to Lauren’s. “That’s pretty fucking incredible, since I’ve been in love with you for years, Ren.”

  Her smile grows bigger, if that’s even possible. Her eyes sparkle as she shifts and brushes her lips across my cheek.

  “Can we get out of here?” she asks, pulling away from me.

  “Sure, where did you want to go?”

  “You have a hotel room, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “I think we have lots to discuss, and then I’ll need to make an appearance back at the farm, but I’d like to wait a little while before heading back. I’d like for all the guests to have time to leave before I return.”

  “That’s probably a good plan. Have you talked to Brad yet?”

  “Not besides when I told him I couldn’t do this and apologized before leaving him at the alter. I should probably find him and talk to him, unless he doesn’t want to talk to me, which I wouldn’t blame him for, if that was the case.”

  I toss a five on the table and wave to Ms. Betty, whose eyebrows are almost in her hairline as she takes in Lauren and me leaving. I lead Lauren outside, stopping between my car and the one she drove here.

  “Did you want to drive yourself, or ride with me?”

  “I should probably drive myself, that way I can take Mom her car when I’m ready to head back.”

  “Sounds good, I’m just staying down at the Marriott. I’ll meet you there in a few.”

  I open the driver’s side door for her, holding it until she’s settled, and then close it for her. I quickly walk around the front of my car and jump in. I pull my seatbelt on as I start the car, and immediately put it in reverse so I can get on the road.

  8

  Lauren

  I look over the guests again, searching for Sam. Where the hell could he be? Dad squeezes my hand as we start to walk down the aisle.

  “Everything okay, sweetheart?” Dad asks, leaning down.

  All I can do is give him a watery half-smile. I don’t even know if everything is okay. The sinking feeling has returned, and I don’t think I can go through with this. As we near the end of the aisle, where Brad is standing, waiting on me, I falter more. I lock eyes with my brother, hoping he can ground me. But all I’m met with is a concerned look. I can tell he knows something is wrong.

  I swing my gaze back to the altar and lock eyes with Zoey. She gives me a worried look as well, mouthing “Everything okay?” All I can do is slightly shake my head no at her. I break eye contact with her and bring my focus to Brad. He’s standing there, watching me intently. His face quickly morphs from a smile to a look of dread.

  Dad and I reach the front and before my grandfather can say anything, I reach for Brad’s hands. I finally speak, talking only loud enough that the few of us standing there can hear.

  “I’m so sorry, but I can’t do this. You deserve better. I’ll explain everything later, but for now, I need to go,” I say, dropping Brad’s hands, and I hurry back down the aisle. I quickly run inside my grandparents’ house, entering into the kitchen. I see my mom’s keys on the counter and I grab them, then run back outside, praying her car isn’t blocked in. I find it quickly and send up a quick prayer that I can easily maneuver it out of the driveway.

  I head straight for the diner. It was one of the places we’d always gone, and I had a feeling it was where I’d find Sam. I need to get to him and tell him that I love him. I can’t keep it to myself anymore. I’ve loved that man since we were kids, and I just can’t keep that to myself any longer.

  I pull up in front of the diner and can see him sitting in our booth. Front and center, next to the big front window. I sit there for a moment, taking in his defeated form. I can tell something’s bothering him, and I can only hope it has something to do with me and marrying Brad.

  I suck in a deep breath, steeling my nerves as I open the car door and climb out. I walk up to the diner, stopping outside the window. It only takes a few second
s for Sam to look out and see me standing there in front of him, tears sliding down my cheeks.

  The shocked look on his face pulls a laugh from my chest. I just shrug my shoulders at him as he quickly gets up and comes running outside.

  “W-what are you doing here?” he asks, pulling me into his arms as soon as he reaches me.

  “I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn’t marry him when I’m in love with someone else,” I tell him as I pull him tighter against me, burying my face in the crook of his neck.

  After awhile, we head back inside the diner and I tell him what happened. The shock is starting to wear off, and I need to get out of here and somewhere I can relax for a little while as the dust settles.

  “Can we get out of here?” I finally ask.

  “Sure, where did you want to go?”

  “You have a hotel room, right?” I ask, fairly sure he isn’t crashing at Steven and Renee’s house.

  “Yes.”

  “I think we have lots to discuss, and then I’ll need to make an appearance back at the farm, but I’d like to wait a little while before heading back. I’d like for all the guests to have time to leave before I return.”

  We leave the diner and I follow Sam to his hotel just a few miles away. Thankfully, we don’t see anyone we know as we walk into the hotel and to his room. The people we do see probably think we just got married and are sneaking off to our hotel room. Little do they know, I just left my groom at the altar.

  We make it into his room and I collapse on the bed.

  “Can I get you anything? Wine, whiskey, tequila?” he offers.

  “You wouldn’t happen to have something I can change into, would you?” My dress was starting to annoy me, and I was feeling a little weird still dressed in it. I wasn’t getting married today.

  “I’m sure I can find you something, I can’t guarantee you won’t be swimming in it,” he says, going over to his suitcase and pulling out a t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. He turns back around and hands them to me.

  “Thank you,” I whisper as I grab them from him and walk to the bathroom.

  I set the clothes on the counter and step back into the room.

  “Two things. One, do you mind if I take a shower? And two, can you please unzip me?” I ask him, my cheeks burning with embarrassment.

  I can see his Adam’s apple move as he swallows hard. “Yeah, sure,” he says, stepping closer to me. The feel of his fingertips touching my back is like fire against my skin.

  He lowers the zipper, tooth by tooth. It feels like he’s purposely torturing me by lowering it so slowly. I reach up and hold the front of my dress so that it doesn’t fall to the floor once he’s done. He’s already going to get an eyeful from the back and be able to see that I only have on some skimpy wedding lingerie.

  He finally reaches the bottom of the zipper and his hands drop from my body. “Thank you,” I murmur again over my shoulder as I force myself to step away from him and back into the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and sink back against it. My heart pounds, and my skin is still burning from his touch.

  I step out of my dress, hanging it up on the hook that’s on the back of the door. I turn on the shower, giving it a little time to warm up. In the meantime, I strip out of my strapless bra and thong. I look in the mirror as I start to take out the pins holding my hair up and remove the magnolia flowers that Zoey had tucked in at the last minute, setting them on the counter.

  After I finally get all the pins out, I step under the water and let it wash away the day. I can feel the weight from the dread I’d been feeling fall away as the water washes down my body. Unfortunately, it’s replaced with regret and sadness. Regret that I let it get this far. Sadness for Brad that I left him at the altar. God, that was a bitch move. He probably hates me. No matter how right it was to not marry him, I still loved him, even if I wasn’t in love with him. He didn’t deserve that, and I should have talked with him this morning.

  I stand under the water until my skin is well past wrinkled. I quickly wash my hair with the hotel’s shampoo, and then shut off the water as it starts to run a bit cold.

  I dry off and wrap my hair up in one of the towels, then put my bra and thong back on, as well as the t-shirt and shorts Sam gave me. Both are nearly falling off me, but it’s better than the alternative. Thankfully, the shorts have a drawstring, so I’m able to tie them tight enough to stay up. I also tie the t-shirt on my left hip to keep it from swallowing me whole.

  Stepping out of the bathroom, I hear Sam talking and quickly realize he’s on his phone. It’s then that I realize I don’t have my cell, and my family is probably freaking out about where I ran off to.

  “Yeah, we’ll head back that way soon. She just got out of the shower and is doing okay. She just wanted to give enough time for people to clear out. She doesn’t really want to have to face everyone right now,” I hear him telling whoever he’s talking to.

  I give him a small smile and a nod of appreciation as he looks at me from across the room.

  “Thank you,” I tell him as he sets his phone on the small table next to him. “And I’m sorry for putting you in the middle of all of this.”

  “You don’t have anything to apologize to me about. I’d do anything for you, Ren. You know that, right?”

  His sincerity chokes me up and I have a hard time keeping the tears at bay.

  “Come here,” he rasps out as he stands from the chair he was in. It’s then I notice he’s lost the tie and jacket, and the top few buttons of his dress shirt have been unbuttoned. I walk over to him, directly into his open arms as he wraps me into a hug.

  “I need you to promise me something. I need to know that no matter what comes of this, that you will always tell me what you’re thinking and how you feel. No more of this hiding things from each other. I know we have a lot to talk about and figure out, but I want you to know that my love for you will never change. You’re still one of my best friends on this earth and I don’t want to lose that. It’s killed me these last handful of years, not being as close as we were growing up. I’ll shoulder some of the blame for that, as I purposefully stayed away because it killed me to see you with him.”

  “I promise,” I tell him.

  “Ready to head back? Steven said everyone has cleared out, it’s just your immediate family left. He said Brad even left with his parents. Just wants you to call him later. They realized pretty quickly that you didn’t have your cell with you, so he gave up trying to call you.”

  “Yeah, might as well get it over with.”

  9

  Sam

  I escort Lauren out to the parking lot and into her mom’s car, then follow her back to her grandparents’ house. As soon as I park, I shut off my car and jump out so that I can get to Lauren’s door and open it for her. I want to be next to her when she enters the house, so she feels my support if she needs it.

  Neither of us say anything to each other as we walk the few feet up to the door. Lauren stops at the top step and before reaching out for the handle, she takes in a deep breath. I place my hand at the small of her back, hoping my strength passes through to her.

  A moment later, she’s opening the door and we both walk into the house. We can hear voices coming from the kitchen, so we head in that direction.

  Ryan is facing the doorway we walk through, so he sees us first.

  “Hi, baby girl. How are you holding up?” he asks his daughter as he steps toward her to pull her into his arms.

  “Okay,” she says on a shaky breath.

  “Want to talk about it?”

  “Not really. I think I need to talk to Brad first. It’s the least I can do.”

  “Okay. We’re here when you’re ready.” He places a kiss on the top of her head.

  She breaks from his arms and makes the rounds, getting hugs from the rest of her family, and Steven steps up next to me. A raised eyebrow is all I get from him, and his look asks, “What the fuck is going on?”

  I just shake my
head and mouth, “Later” to him. He gets the hint and doesn’t try and push me for anything else at the moment. Not that I have much to tell him yet. He knows how I feel and where I stand when it comes to Lauren. Hell, he’s tried to push me into telling her many times over the years.

  God, I should have listened to him.

  Lauren leaves the room and I hear her head up the stairs to the bedrooms. She returns a few minutes later, changed into a pair of jeans and a shirt of her own, her cell gripped tightly in her hand.

  “I’m going to go meet Brad, I’ll be back in a while,” she announces to the room.

  “Do you want anyone to go with you?” her mom asks.

  “No, this is something I need to do on my own, and I’m not sure how long I’ll be. But I have my phone now, so text me if you need me,” she says, before walking out of the kitchen, and I hear the front door close a few moments later.

  10

  Lauren

  I texted Brad as soon as I got upstairs and to my phone. He’d called it a few times, and sent me no fewer than ten text messages ranging from concern to pissed off and every emotion in between. I don’t fault him one bit for any of them. I’d probably have done the same thing had the positions been reversed.

  He answered my text immediately and agreed to meet me at the hotel we’d reserved a room at for tonight.

  The drive over to the hotel is quiet as I think of everything I need to tell him. I keep the radio off, not wanting the noise right now. It feels so weird to be in this situation. The weight’s been lifted, except a new weight has replaced it, due to the guilt of what I did to Brad.

  I pull up to the hotel a few minutes later, parking near the side entrance he said he’d meet me by. I see him standing next to it, a glum expression on his face.

  I timidly walk up to him, my hands fidgeting with my keys and phone.