Secret Daddy
Page 63
I quickly learn it isn’t easy. I’ve never done it before in spite of loving animals and the outdoors so much. I never thought I’d do it alone, either.
Many times, I stop to catch my breath, sit down and rest my feet or take a few gulps of water. I almost trip a few times, too.
But somehow, I manage. After a few hours, I reach the top.
What they say is right. The view from the top is unlike any other.
It’s spectacular.
Standing there on top of the mountain, looking down at hills, woodlands and meadows, I feel in control of my life.
I feel like I’ve come so far.
Now, all that’s left is to decide where I’m going.
What do I want to do with my life?
Henry’s job offer still stands. Do I take it? Do I work for the Seeker?
After Africa, I’ve come to realize two things.
One, I really like taking pictures of wild animals. In spite of what happened to my brother, in spite of all the mess and the danger, I still love animals. I’d still like to capture them on camera.
Two, I love Nathan.
He’s probably the only thing I love more than I love animals or photography.
I want to be with him. I want to be by his side, to hear his laughter, to see his smile, to feel his arms around me and his lips on mine, to support his dreams and ambitions.
But what about my dream?
True, I’ve dreamed of marrying, too, of finding a man to spend the rest of my life with. In a way, Nathan is my dream come true.
But he’s not only my dream. Must I sacrifice one dream for another?
Must I choose?
And if so, what do I choose?
“Don’t jump.”
I turn my head, surprised at the voice. I must have been so deep in thought that I didn’t hear anyone approaching.
“What?”
“I said don’t jump.” The man comes closer.
He looks like he’s in his early thirties. Probably Nathan’s age. Athletic build. Blond hair. Blue eyes.
“What makes you think I’m going to jump?” I ask him.
“Because you look like you’re carrying the weight on the world on your shoulders.”
I do? “Well, I guess I do have a lot of my mind.”
“Don’t we all?” He gives me a perfect smile before offering his hand. “I’m Grant, by the way.”
“Sam,” I say during the handshake. “It’s my first time climbing a mountain.”
“Really?” He takes off his jacket. “I would have pegged you for a woman who loves being on top.”
I blush at the remark.
“Of the world, I mean.”
Yeah, right.
He takes a few gulps from his water bottle then splashes some of it on his hair, the drops of water trickling down the sides of his face, some making their way down his sweat-drenched shirt.
Okay.
I decide it’s time to leave. “I better go.”
“Whoa. You only just got here, right?” He wipes his face and hair with a towel. “You should enjoy the view.”
For some reason, my eyes are drawn to his chiseled abdomen. I quickly look away, sitting down on a rock.
Calm down, Sam. You already have one smoking hot guy, remember?
“What model is your camera?” he asks.
“Nikon D810,” I answer, grateful for the new topic.
“You like taking pictures?”
“I guess.”
“Do you want me to take a picture of you? Though I’m sure your picture won’t look anywhere as good as you.”
I look at him. “Um, Grant, I appreciate you being sweet and all but…” I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m taken.”
“Oh.” He frowns but just for a moment. “Is that why you wanted to jump?”
“I was not going to jump,” I repeat. “I was just thinking.”
“About your boyfriend?”
“About life.” I gaze at the horizon. “I was just wondering about what to do with my life.”
“It’s simple,” he says. “Do what you want to do.”
“It’s not that simple,” I tell him. “I want to do two things at the same time.”
“Can’t you?”
Good question. Can’t I?
“Do you have a girlfriend?” I ask him out of the blue. “Just a question. Not that I’m interested. Not that you’re not interesting. Just—”
“No,” he cuts me off. “The answer is no.”
“Well, if you had a choice between the woman you love and the job you dream of, which would you choose?”
“Do I have to choose?”
“Don’t you?”
To my surprise, Grant shakes his head. “I don’t think so. If the person you love really loves you back, he or she will want you to be happy, right? And you can only be happy if you’re doing something you love.”
“Are you sure? Shouldn’t the person you love be able to make you happy?”
“In the first place, it shouldn’t be up to any other person to make you happy. That’s your responsibility. Do what you love. Make yourself happy. And the person you love will be happy for you and love you more.”
I look at him. “So, you’re saying I should ask the person I love to set me free but love me just the same?”
“Don’t,” he tells me. “Just fly free. Birds don’t ask permission to soar, do they? And don’t you feel happy just watching them fly? No one takes delight in seeing a bird in a cage. Not really.”
A bird in a cage. Right. Why haven’t I thought of that?
“Love should free a person and help him or her to fly, not put him or her in a cage.”
I nod. “You know what? You’re right. I understand now. I think I know now what I should do.”
He smiles. “I’m glad I helped.”
Who knew I would meet a new friend up here on a mountain, the most unlikely of places? And who knew that I would hear just what I needed to?
Indeed, I know now what I’m supposed to do.
I’ve made my decision.
And after the party to celebrate the launch of Landers Innovations’ newest software on Friday, I’ll tell Nathan.
***
“So, how does it feel to be attending a party as a guest and not as someone assigned to cover it?” Mattie asks.
Frankly, I forgot she was going to be here.
“Good,” I answer. “Wait. You’re not going to write that down, are you?”
“No.” She gives a wave of her hand. “I just wanted to know how you felt.”
“Well, it feels good.”
“I should say so.” She gives my arm a nudge. “I still can’t believe you’re going out with Nathan Landers. And that you didn’t tell me.”
“Sorry,” I tell her half-heartedly. “It wasn’t official until recently.”
“Ah, so it’s official now, is it?”
I shouldn’t have said that. “But—”
“Don’t worry. I won’t put that on paper. Consider it my send-off gift.” She gives me a wink before waltzing off. “Enjoy the party.”
Enjoy? I’m not sure I can.
As I glance at Nathan, who’s on the balcony upstairs right now talking to some corporate executives, I can’t help but feel nervous. As our eyes meet, I force a smile.
Relax, Sam. Everything will be all right.
“It is Sam, isn’t it?” a woman asks from behind me.
I turn my head, surprised to see Casey Rockford. “It’s Samantha, actually, but yes, I suppose you can call me Sam.”
In spite of what happened, I’m not really mad at her. It wasn’t her who tried to grab my camera, after all.
“Casey.” She reaches out her hand. “I guess I want to say I’m sorry I acted the way I did before. It wasn’t nice of me.”
I shake my head as I shake her hand. “Don’t mention it.”
“And I want to congratulate you,” she adds.
“On what?”
“I’ve seen the way Nathan looks at you. It’s the way I used to dream he’d look at me. I guess we’re not really meant to be. But the two of you seem to be.”
“Thanks.”
I never thought I’d see the day when I’d hear Casey Rockford say those words. Actually, I never thought she’d talk to me.
“You’re not so bad,” I tell her.
“You think?”
“I’m sure you’ll get your own man someday.”
I don’t know why I just said that. Maybe I actually like her?
“Thanks. I was actually thinking of traveling. You know, go to places where I’m not so well known.”
“Good idea.”
“Oh, and by the way, Denise isn’t my friend anymore. I figured out she’s only after my money.”
“I’m glad you did. Next time, be more careful in choosing your friends.”
She nods as she looks at me. “I think I’ve learned. In fact, I think I’ve made a good choice this time.”
I smile.
“Can I join you ladies?” Nathan asks as he approaches.
“Actually, I was about to leave,” Casey says, leaving.
She’s probably still uncomfortable being around Nathan.
“Strange,” Nathan says. “She used to be chasing after me. Now, she’s running away from me. I wonder why.”
“Maybe she just grew up.”
“The two of you seemed to be getting along well.”
“I don’t see why we shouldn’t,” I tell him. “Past is past. And she’s not so bad.”
“By the way, I have someone I want you to meet.” He taps the shoulder of the man behind him. “Sam, this is…”
“Grant?” I ask.
I can’t believe it’s him. He’s wearing a suit now, but I still recognize him.
“Wait. You and Grant know each other?” Nathan and I ask at the same time.
Grant chuckles. “Yes, Sam and I met each other a few days ago while she was camping.”
“You better not have laid a finger on her,” Nathan warns.
“Of course not.” Grant turns to me. “And Nathan here went to college with me.”
I blink. “Really?”
“After college, he joined the Army. I went to study in London. I’ve been going back and forth, though. Now, I’m back for good.”
“I see. Small world.”
“Small world, indeed,” Nathan agrees. “I actually asked Grant to be my VP, you know, but he’s decided to start his own company.”
“That’s great news.”
“I’ve decided to support him. Oh, and I was thinking I’d lend Abby to him.”
“Lend Abby?” I frown. “She’s a person, Nathan. Not something you own.”
“What I meant was that I’d let her be Grant’s assistant while he’s starting his company. Not that I don’t want her working for me anymore. On the contrary, it’s because she’s so efficient that I’ve decided to let her help him.”
“And have you asked her if she wants to help him?” I ask.
“I have, actually, and she doesn’t mind.”
Well, Abby’s not really one to complain.
“But what about your assistant? Without Abby, who’s going to—”
“Set up my meetings and appointments? Make sure everything goes according to schedule?” Nathan finishes the sentence for me. “Don’t worry. I’ve found someone new.”
“I see.” I turn to Grant. “I’m sure you’ll love Abby.”
Grant nods. “She sounds wonderful.” He whispers in my ear, “Have you talked to him yet?”
“No,” I whisper back.
“Well, good luck.” He leaves with a grin.
“Care to tell me what that was about?” Nathan asks, clearly jealous.
“Don’t worry,” I assure him. “I’ll tell you after the party.”
Chapter 19
Meant to Be Wild
“So, what exactly did you want to tell me?” Nathan asks as he takes off his jacket, draping it over a chair.
I sit on the couch, taking off my shoes since my feet have started to hurt.
Thank goodness the party is over, but now it’s time for the more serious part of the evening, the part I’ve been dreading.
Possibly one of the biggest conversations of my life.
I take a deep breath. “I’ve—”
“Oh, before that,” Nathan interrupts as he pours himself a glass of Scotch. “How did you and Grant meet again?”
I frown. “We met while I was camping.”
“Ah. So, he still loves the outdoors.”
Another deep breath. “Anyway, I was about to say I’ve made my decision.”
He takes a sip from his glass. “Go on.”
“I’ve decided to work for the Seeker,” I tell him. “I was thinking I’d tell Henry tomorrow.”
“Well, it’s good that you finally made up your mind. How did you make your decision?”
“Just knowing that it’s what I’ve really dreamed of.”
He nods. “I’m sure you’ll do great. I’m happy for you.” Even though he’s supportive, I can hear the tinge of sadness in his voice.
“And there’s one more thing.”
“Yes?”
“I’ve decided to trust you.”
His eyebrows crease. “What do you mean?”
“I’m saying working for the Seeker isn’t goodbye. It’s something I’m doing for me but I want you to know it doesn’t mean I don’t want to see you anymore or anything. After all, I love you, Nathan Landers.”
He stops in the act of bringing his glass to his lips.
“You know, when I first saw you, I thought you were like a wild animal. Untamed. I thought I could tame you, but then, I realized I don’t really want to. I want you as you are. I don’t want you in a cage. You don’t want me in a cage either, do you?”
He sets down his glass and walks over to me.
“I’m just going to spread my wings, but that doesn’t mean—”
I don’t finish because Nathan’s mouth is suddenly on mine, robbing me of breath and words.
Afterward, he looks into my eyes as he strokes my cheek, and at the warmth I see there, my heart stops.
“Nathan?”
“I don’t know what you’ve done to me, Sam, and God help me but damn, I love you.”
And he kisses me again. Fiercer this time.
He loves me.
It takes a while for the confession to register, but once it does, I feel my spirit soaring, joy welling in my chest as my heart races.
Nathan loves me.
I kiss him back just as fiercely, placing my hands around his neck.
He wraps his arms tighter around me, pressing his body against mine.
I feel his heart beating furiously.
And I feel something else throbbing.
Both of them are mine.
Thrilled with that knowledge, I lead Nathan to the bedroom. He seems surprised that I’m taking the lead this time, but he follows eagerly.
Once there, I pull down the side zipper of my gown, then slip it off, letting it fall to my ankles. I slip out, holding his gaze as I take off the rest of my clothes, unfastening my bra and then my panties that are already wet, tossing them away. Somehow, I’m no longer shy.
I belong to him now.
“Damn, you’re beautiful,” he says, placing his hands on my waist.
I take his hands, kissing each palm, then place them on my breasts.
“And I’m all yours.”
Again, our lips meet, his hands cupping my swollen breasts, his thumbs pressing against my pert nipples.
My hands go to the buttons of his shirt, popping them off one by one. Then I slip his shirt off and work on his belt next. And his zipper.
His pants fall to his knees and I cup his crotch, stroking the bulge I feel there, delighting in how it quivers and arches against my hand.
“Shit,” he mutters as he pulls his lips away, planting them on the side of
my neck as he, too, reaches between my legs to stroke my sex.
My knees shake. Still, I part my legs, letting him stroke as much as he wants and letting him slip a finger in.
I gasp. “So good.”
It’s too good, in fact. I can’t keep stroking him, grabbing his shoulders instead to keep myself from falling as my knees melt.
He puts me on top of the bed, kissing my breasts, the soft curve of my belly, the insides of my thighs, my knees and then finally, my sex.
And it’s no ordinary kiss.
“Spread your legs wider, love,” he orders.
I obey, moaning and fisting the sheets as his wicked tongue plunders.
“Remember.” He stops to hold my gaze. “You can spread your wings as much as you want, but you’ll spread your legs only for me.”
“I promise.”
I never intended to do so for anyone else, not since the day I met him.
He’s the only one who can make me feel this way.
I feel ensnared and yet so free, every fiber of my being alive and buzzing with excitement.
As the tip of his tongue teases my clit, I cry out, and when it enters me, I come undone, my whole body trembling with the force of my release.
He’s the only one who can bring me to such heights of pleasure.
And he knows it. He’s wearing that devilish grin as he takes off his boxers.
As always, the sight of him fully erect leaves me stunned.
This time, though, I plan to do more than just admire the view.
I leave the bed, kneeling in front of him and taking his cock in my hand, wrapping my fingers around him.
Mine.
“Sam?”
I don’t answer, proceeding to do something I’ve never done before.
I lick the tip of his cock then all the way down the length, tracing every vein. Then I take him slowly inside my mouth, sucking.
Nathan moans, his body trembling. “Shit.”
His fingers become entwined with my hair as he pulls. I keep moving, my fingers biting into his ass, my lips holding him captive.
How do I know what I’m doing? I don’t.
I just know I want to please him, and I know I’m succeeding based on what I’m hearing, each moan and curse vibrating through me.
Suddenly, he pushes me away, lifting me off my knees and leading me back to the bed.