Allie's War Early Years

by JC Andrijeski

He wondered what they would do... what they would really do... if he just left. If he just walked out of these cold, dry caves one night, hiked down the mountains to the nearest facsimile of civilization, got as drunk as he possibly could and did his damnedest to get laid as many times as his cock and his light could handle it.

  Just thinking about it made him hard. Hard enough that his skin flushed, his light snaked and sparked around his form, like an angry coil of electricity.

  Gods. He couldn’t start thinking about sex right now.

  He really couldn’t.

  He was still mulling over the idea anyway, knowing he wouldn’t do it, knowing why he wouldn’t do it... why he couldn’t do it... knowing he wasn’t cut out for living on the run for the rest of his life any more than he was cut out for living life as a monk... knowing none of that was the real reason either, that it was just another bullshit story he fed his ego to keep it quiet... when he reached the door of his cave-like cell and froze.

  His light flickered out, confirming what he’d felt.

  Someone was waiting for him inside.

  Someone he didn’t know.

  He snapped into infiltrator mode so quickly that he barely made the conscious decision.

  Even so, a few things slid through his mind... quickly enough that he could feel the parts of himself that he’d accessed working to protect him already. Of course, in doing so, he didn’t miss the irony that even when he hated his own life, some part of him fought to protect it at all cost... with a hyper-vigilance that bordered on pathology.

  But a few things calmed that hyper-vigilance slightly.

  Whoever waited for him in there, they made no attempt to hide from him.

  They made no attempt to hide the fact that they were scanning him, either, which in a seer’s parlance was more or less the polite way to approach a stranger’s light when you wanted to learn more about them. It gave the other seer the opportunity to shield, at least, whether in terms of their light as a whole, or just the parts they’d rather not share with someone they didn’t know.

  Even so, the contact brought back Revik’s separation sickness with a lurch.

  Fuck. Whoever this was, it wasn’t a monk.

  The monks had figured out some way, around Revik at least, to keep their light from triggering the worst aspects of his deprivation. It didn’t really help, of course. He still found himself staring at some of them, depending on the specific frequencies of their light.

  Even as he thought it, he found himself thinking he needed to jerk off. He wished he’d done it before he had to deal with this outsider being in his room.

  Humor swept the Barrier space around him as he thought it.

  Revik’s face warmed almost before it sank in what the humor meant.

  It’s quite all right, brother... a voice murmured. The seer behind it sent a warm, packed pulse of reassurance with his words. Believe it or not, I’m not entirely unfamiliar with such settings. I won’t take offense, I assure you. And whatever your issues on that front... for which I have nothing but the profoundest sympathies, my brother... I suspect I’m not really your type.

  Revik’s jaw hardened.

  Still, the seer had sent him a snapshot, at least... even if he’d already made it abundantly clear that he probably outranked Revik, sight-wise.

  Middle-aged. Male. Smart ass.

  The other seer laughed again.

  Are you coming inside, brother Revik? he asked. Or should I come out to you? I was told if I waited here long enough, you would eventually return. Or were those kind old monks lying to me, just to get a reaction?

  Muttering under his breath, Revik shifted his weight on his feet indecisively. His hands rose from his sides, clenching on his hips, but his indecisiveness only worsened.

  Then, realizing the monks probably didn’t want him dead, no matter how much of a pain in the ass they found him, he made up his mind and walked the rest of the way to the door, making up the distance with jerking but swift steps.

  Flinging open the same door, he walked inside, then stopped again, realizing the male seer wasn’t alone.

  Three seers sat there. Two males, one female.

  So they definitely outranked him.

  The one who let Revik feel him first, meaning from outside the door, smiled.

  It had to be him.

  Gray eyes, holding the same humorous glint. His light felt like what Revik first tasted from outside of the door, too.

  All three of them sat on cushions on the stone floor––cushions that someone must have dragged into the room to accommodate them, along with the thicker mats where the cushions had been placed, since neither thing lived in Revik’s room normally. They all sat with straight backs, like they were accustomed to sitting on the floor, possibly for long periods of time.

  They looked up at him expectantly, facing him in a disjointed half-circle.

  Revik took a snapshot of the seer in the center with his light, even as he looked him over.

  He was clearly their leader.

  Light gray eyes, as Revik noted when he walked in. Chestnut-colored hair, with some gray at the temples. Maybe three hundred, three-hundred-and-fifty years old? He was in good shape, whoever he was, not a spare ounce of flesh on him. He had odd features for a seer, too, almost a human-European bone structure to go with those gray eyes.

  Truthfully, based on physical build and features alone, Revik might have thought him human altogether.

  He still couldn’t see much of his light.

  He strongly suspected he could only see as much of it as the male specifically wanted him to see, in any case. The pieces Revik managed to discern, he found himself pinning down only with difficulty, and he questioned, even then, if what he looked at was real. He had structure, this seer, but just how much, Revik had no idea.

  “Who are you?” he said, blunt.

  The three seers looked at one another, as if suppressing smiles.

  Still, somehow, Revik got the sense that at least the two male seers were relieved at something they saw in him... almost as if they’d been bracing themselves to see something different when Revik walked through that door. The male seer who wasn’t the leader smiled at him in an almost friendly way. He looked younger than his commander, maybe by as much as a hundred years, and his light green eyes––their irises rimmed with darker violet and holding a pale, almost luminescent glow––held an even warmer smile than his lips.

  Something in those eyes relaxed a deeper tension in Revik’s chest.

  Then another voice jerked his eyes sideways.

  “You are Dehgoies Revik?” the female said, her voice clipped, educated.

  He looked at her last, realizing only then he’d avoided looking at her at all.

  She had long, dark hair that she’d wound into some kind of braid, an infiltrator’s hairstyle if there ever was one. Almost outside of his control, he found himself looking at her body under the armored vest and shirt, noticing she was tall even as he took in her high cheekbones, narrow waist, long legs. His gaze stopped longest on her almond-shaped eyes, which were a strange mixture of light brown and green, with flecks of yellow and what might have been silver in them. Her eyes were stunning in fact, difficult to look away from.

  Feeling her notice his stare, maybe even feeling the reaction behind it, he swallowed, folding his arms tightly across his chest before he looked back at the middle-aged male seer sitting in the middle.

  He considered saying nothing.

  Then he realized he couldn’t do that, either.

  “You might not be my type, brother,” he said flatly to the gray-eyed, strangely human-looking male. He gestured towards the female with one hand, not looking at her that time. “...But she is. Does she need to be here?”

  There was a silence.

  “I mean it,” Revik said. “I don’t want her here.”

  The female smiled a little, muttering under her breath in a language Revik didn’t know. When he looked at her directly, almost outside of his
control that time, she was shaking her head, right before she clicked at him, glancing up.

  “You’re hardly my type, youngster,” she muttered.

  She spoke in Prexci that time, obviously for his benefit.

  “Then consider this a favor,” he retorted, his voice openly hostile that time.

  “Maybe I don’t want any ‘favors’ from you... Rook.”

  “Then this meeting is over,” Revik said. “Get the fuck out of my room. Now. All of you.”

  The middle-aged seer raised a hand in a peace gesture.

  Revik turned his head. Once he had, he realized those light gray eyes had never left his face. He never saw those eyes lose focus... and yet, he distinctly got the impression he was being scanned, and that the probing came from the gray-eyed man.

  Revik couldn’t exactly feel that scan, much less pick up on any details of what the other might be looking for, but the perception didn’t dissipate.

  If this seer could hide a scan that well––if he could keep it from showing in his eyes while staring straight at his target––he really was good.

  A little too good.

  The thought unnerved Revik, even as he grew conscious of how little he’d had to defend himself from such things in here. In fact, over the past few years, ever since he’d left the Rooks’ employ, really, most of his work had been in the opposite direction. They’d been trying to get him to open his light, to trust other seers, to relax his guard.

  He’d been struggling with it, to say the least.

  Now he found himself wondering if maybe those monks made more progress with him than he’d realized. Finding himself faced with three, highly-ranked infiltrators, all of them obviously better-trained than him, Revik felt his paranoia ratchet up a few notches higher than it had gone in months. Years, possibly.

  His body continued to stiffen when the three seers in front of him didn’t move, even as Revik continued to look around at each of their faces, lingering the least long on the female’s, even now. Refolding his arms, Revik shifted his weight from foot to foot.

  “You’re not leaving my room,” he remarked, colder. “Was I in any way unclear?”

  The gray-eyed male lowered his hand back to his knee without changing expression. When he next spoke, his voice bordered on gentle, but he didn’t aim it at Revik.

  “Mara... wait outside, please,” he said politely.

  The female infiltrator, Mara presumably, gave him a disbelieving look.

  “Mara?” the gray-eyed seer said, quieter. “Please.”

  Polite or not, Revik heard the order underlying his words.

  He reassessed the hierarchy in front of him, even as it grew visible to him. The pecking order was fixed, and not based solely on sight-rank, which was often the case with seers. Military background? Some kind of special unit from the Seven?

  Revik let his mind turn that over a few times, too.

  After a long-feeling pause, the female seer pulled herself to her feet with obvious annoyance. Revik sensed no true rebellion in her, at least, not towards the gray-eyed seer. The irritation appeared to be aimed at Revik, instead. The gray-eyed seer’s authority appeared to be absolute, whatever she thought of the order itself.

  Aiming for the door to the corridor with athletic strides, she gave Revik a hard stare as she walked past him, those shockingly bright eyes of hers flickering over his body briefly along with her light. He winced from the contact, stepping back, then clenched his jaw before he returned her look with a harder stare of his own.

  He continued to watch until the door shut behind her.

  Then he turned, once more facing the gray-eyed male.

  “Was that absolutely necessary?” he said.

  The gray-eyed seer shrugged with one hand. “I confess, I wished to see what you would do.”

  “What I would do?” Revik felt his jaw harden more. “Meaning... what?”

  “Meaning whether you would confess an issue there,” the other explained patiently, gesturing towards Revik’s body. “...An issue we can all plainly see, my brother, if you’ll pardon my saying it. Or if you would deny it, and try to find some way to sate those urges later. Perhaps by some attempt to get Mara away from the two of us.”

  He said it lightly, and with such obvious honesty, it took Revik a moment to comprehend his words.

  “You thought I might rape her?” he said, his anger shifting closer to fury.

  The other gestured vaguely, his expression noncommittal. “Not really, no. But I wished to gauge your response. And your honesty about your current condition, from being in here for so long.” His eyes continued to gauge Revik’s intently, the gray irises close to expressionless. “I am quite satisfied with how you handled it, brother.”

  Revik’s eyes narrowed. “This was a test?” he said, his voice close to a threat. “You brought her in here to test me?”

  “Yes,” the other said simply.

  Revik felt his body tighten more, but for a moment, he didn’t know how to push against the other, to get more information out of him. Perhaps because both the other man’s words and his light offered so little resistance, it left Revik at somewhat of a loss.

  Whatever this seer’s intentions, he at least wanted to appear to be honest and straightforward. Whether or not he was, Revik couldn’t make up his mind.

  “Why?” he said finally. “Who the fuck are you?”

  The gray-eyed seer didn’t flinch.

  Rather, he rose smoothly to his feet, moving with a deceptive grace. He rose faster than Revik’s eyes could track the motion, and Revik found himself stepping back in a mild alarm, and only after the other had already completely straightened. Although Revik had moved in reflex and the other via intent, Revik still managed to be slower. Once he realized that much, he just stood there, without unfolding his arms, or taking his eyes off the other male.

  It had already occurred to him he might be outmatched physically, too.

  That hadn’t happened in a long time, either.

  “I am Balidor, of the Adhipan,” the other seer said simply.

  Revik flinched, even as amazement filtered over his light.

  Balidor didn’t give him much time to react, however.

  “...I am also the one who just signed your release papers, Dehgoies Revik,” the gray-eyed seer added calmly, smiling a little that time. “...Making you, temporarily, at least, the direct responsibility of the Adhipan, and therefore of me. I will not take you without your permission, of course, but I will try very hard to persuade you to come with us willingly.”

  Revik stared at him, feeling his breathing stop.

  He spoke before he knew he intended to.

  “No,” he said, blunt.

  Once he’d said it, the answer strengthened in his light, rather than softening.

  “No,” he said again, shaking his head. “No fucking way. Meaning you no disrespect of course, sir, but no matter who you are... no.”

  “You have not yet heard my proposition.”

  “I don’t need to,” Revik said. “It’s not about you. It’s about me.”

  “Meaning what?”

  Revik stared at him, fighting incredulity. “Meaning what? Clearly, I’m not ready.”

  “To leave this place, you mean?”

  “Yes.”

  “What makes you say that?” Balidor asked at once.

  There was a silence.

  Then Revik let out a disbelieving laugh.

  “I just asked one of your people to leave the room because I don’t trust myself with her, brother,” Revik said. “You just threw a test at me to determine if I was a rapist... possibly a killer, if I’m reading your intent and light correctly. Do you really need me to answer that question?”

  “You did ask her to leave,” Balidor reminded him. “You did not hide your difficulties. You were honest about them.”

  “I may not be tomorrow,” Revik retorted. “...Or the day after that. I may not ask next time, either, brother Adhipan.”

&nb
sp; The gray-eyed human smiled faintly, but his eyes turned shrewd once more, appraising. Revik found himself thinking he was being scanned again, too. Moreover, he felt himself being hunted, as if the male seer was looking for some way inside his mind.

  “I believe you will,” Balidor said, ending the pause. “...Ask. Is that not enough?”

  “No,” Revik said, stepping back unconsciously, physically and with his light. “No, it’s not.”

  He glanced at the other male in the room, who he’d almost forgotten, the one with those strange, violet-rimmed, green eyes. That other seer watched him intently too, a faint frown on his face, but more like he was concentrating, looking at something in Revik himself, than judging him necessarily. Feeling himself flush at the scrutiny there, Revik looked back at the human-like countenance of Balidor.

  “Even if you are who you say you are,” Revik said. “...I don’t know you, brother. I’m not in the habit of trusting seers I don’t know.”

  “Would you like to see my credentials, brother Dehgoies?”

  Revik felt his anger sharpen. “No.”

  The seer on the floor let out a soft laugh.

  “Then what do you need from me?” Balidor said. Ignoring the other male, he kept his eyes on Revik’s face. He held out his hands, palms to either side, almost a position of prayer, but clearly one of submission. “Will you not ask me, at least, what errand brings me here? Or why I would want you with me specifically, brother?”

  Revik realized he hadn’t wanted to ask that.

  He hadn’t wanted to ask, partly because he feared the answer.

  Partly also, perhaps, some smaller voice whispered in his mind, because he might find it persuasive.

  “I don’t really want to know,” he said truthfully.

  Balidor smiled at that, glancing at the green-eyed male sitting on the floor, who chuckled again softly. Balidor returned his gaze to Revik’s then. His handsome, human-like face and steel-gray eyes held a denser understanding that time, as if he wanted Revik to know that he had known that already, that Revik’s own words had been redundant. Revik didn’t think that was put-on, either. In fact, he strongly suspected that the other male had followed the main threads of his thoughts in more directions than Revik himself wanted to think about.