Allie's War Early Years

by JC Andrijeski

  I know that, too, brother.

  My point is, what if they won’t let us leave? Revik sent.

  Then it’s war, Balidor replied simply. Galaith knows that.

  But does Terry? Revik murmured in his own mind, quieter still.

  That time, Balidor didn’t answer him directly.

  After the barest breath, he directed Revik’s attention back to the main group, instead.

  That one knows, he told Revik, equally soft. And he knows who I am... and that I can hear him. I suspect he also has a direct line to Galaith.

  Following Balidor’s nudge, Revik’s eyes stopped briefly on a violet-eyed seer. The male lived somewhere in the five hundred year range, from what Revik could tell, with iron gray hair and a Nazi scar that nearly bisected his long face. Revik could feel the intensity of the seer’s light, and flavors of structure unusual to him.

  Balidor was right. That seer was formidable.

  Exceedingly high sight rank.

  But Revik knew he couldn’t avoid looking at their leader for much longer.

  After he finished measuring that older, gray-haired seer, tasting a harder snapshot of the fast-moving structures above his head with his own aleimi, Revik’s eyes swiveled back to the space directly in front of where he stood. The seer who stood there was significantly younger than the one with the violet eyes. He was also considerably more familiar.

  Revik felt his breath get lost somewhere in his chest as he stared at his old friend.

  He didn’t move... couldn’t move, or even blink. Even so, for a moment Revik felt his body and light fighting to control themselves, to keep from showing any sign of his reaction. On the outside, however, he just stood there.

  Locked in the amber-eyed stare of Terian.

  They had been friends, the last time Revik had seen him.

  Perhaps even good friends.

  As much of friends as one could be with anyone in the Org.

  For a long moment, neither of them spoke. Revik looked over the handsome seer with the high cheekbones, auburn hair and those weirdly penetrating amber eyes. He looked over his state-of-the-art organic uniform, too, and the gun he held in his long-fingered hands.

  Silence from Terian was more than Revik could really deal with, though.

  Maybe it was the time that had passed, or the pure anomaly of this particular seer not speaking for more than a minute at a time, but Revik ended up being the one to break that silence. The fact that it was him that spoke and not Terian caused a number of seers on both sides of that line to jump perceptibly where they stood.

  “I am told you agreed to this,” he said.

  When Terian didn’t speak, Revik gestured vaguely with one hand, not sure what he meant by the motion, or if it came purely from nerves.

  “Terry?” he said, hitting the words a little harder that time. “Is this true? Did you agree to act as go-between for Galaith on this thing?”

  Again, the amber-eyed seer didn’t answer.

  Revik found his nerves bleeding back over his light. He clamped down harder on his own aleimi once he noticed, glancing around at the faces of the other Org infiltrators, maybe to distract himself, or maybe to collect more information in that silence.

  In any case, he found himself stopping on one face, in particular.

  Once he had, disbelief stole over Revik’s light.

  He stared at the strange seer, noting the line of light he could feel between him and Terian, even as he felt flavors of Terian coiling around the seer’s aleimi through that same connection. Tall, nearly Revik’s own height. Black hair. Pale gray eyes, but nothing like Balidor’s. Instead, they appeared closer in color and shape to Revik’s own, only with a more opaque tint, one that might even look blue in the right light.

  Under the yissos, they shone almost white.

  Angular face. Narrow mouth.

  The similarities were too obvious to ignore.

  This fucking seer looked like him. And Terian was sleeping with him.

  Terian was screwing a look-alike of Revik himself.

  Something in that knowledge brought a sick tilt to Revik’s mind and light, flooding him with whispers and tastes of memories he no longer wanted anywhere near him. He couldn’t stop it entirely, but he managed to shove the worst of it aside, long enough to tear his eyes off the male with those pale, nearly colorless eyes.

  He found himself looking at Terian again.

  Then, without knowing he meant to, he found himself speaking.

  “A new pet, Terry?” he said.

  He regretted the words, as soon as he’d said them.

  Still, he heard the anger in his own voice.

  Terian let the barrel of his rifle drop, right before he slung the gun over his shoulder. Revik didn’t know if Terian did that to mirror how Revik wore his own rifle, or just to make it crystal clear he didn’t see him, or any of the Adhipan seers behind him, as any kind of threat.

  Even so, Revik found himself tensing again, feeling something shift in the light of the man standing in front of him. He’d already managed to set him off somehow. Or maybe Revik just ignited some other part of Terian’s crazy by pointing out his physical resemblance to Terian’s new lover. Remembering just how unpredictable Terian could be, especially when he was pissed off about something, didn’t exactly help Revik assess the situation calmly.

  Neither did the fact that Revik couldn’t remember what he’d done or said to him last.

  He didn’t imagine telling Terry that would help make his case, however.

  “Something like that, yes,” Terian answered belatedly. A smile toyed at the edges of those sculpted lips, and Revik found himself getting more flashes of memory that didn’t exactly reassure him. “Do you approve, Revi’?”

  Revik felt himself frown. Again, he knew he should drop it, but didn’t.

  “Is it for my benefit?” he said.

  “Not entirely, no.” Terian’s smile grew into more of a smirk, even as he glanced back at the tall male standing there, Revik’s look-alike. “He’s quite... accommodating.”

  Revik fought a frown out of his expression at that, too.

  Even so, he felt the thread of light Terian aimed at him when he said it. He felt Balidor block and then deflect it, too, but not before Revik got the barest taste.

  Terian wasn’t going to let this go. No matter what he did or said.

  Even as he thought it, Revik found a harder shell falling over his own light. Something in that felt familiar too, and at the moment, not entirely unwelcome.

  “I’m happy for you,” he said, his voice colder. He gave the tall, gray-eyed seer an openly dismissive look, even knowing he might be inciting Terian more. “...For both of you.”

  Terian only grinned, however.

  Great. Revik already managed to make this a game for him.

  “Oh, no need to chime the bells yet, old friend,” Terian smiled. “There’s always room for more to play, yes? Back in the day, we could have violated him together. He would have liked that, I think...”

  Revik felt that remark like a punch.

  Nausea rose in him, again only marginally related to separation sickness. He caught a glimmer of the images Terian still fought to throw at him, even as it crossed his mind that the Adhipan seers––Balidor at least––could see all of it.

  The silence stretched.

  Revik didn’t drop his gaze, but he saw the delight dancing in Terian’s eyes as the silence deepened. His old friend could clearly see that his words had gotten to him.

  Terian smiled wider.

  He aimed that smile at the tall, gray-eyed seer he was currently fucking, then looked back at Revik himself, that smile still dancing in his eyes and at the edges of his mouth.

  “He gets a bit possessive, though, Revi’,” Terian said, his voice more matter-of-fact. “You’d have to fuck him a lot, Revi’, to get him over that. Until you broke him, maybe, got him to say uncle. I think he’d like that, too, though, Revi’... he likes a little pain with hi
s sex. Not as much as you do, of course, but then... not many do.”

  That time, Revik couldn’t hold eye-contact.

  He averted his gaze, feeling his hands tighten into fists. His face warmed too, even as he fought not to look at the row of Adhipan seers standing behind him.

  Terian chuckled, clicking at him in mock surprise. “Holy gaos. Did you just blush, Revi’? What the fuck have they done to you, my friend? Are you celibate these days, too? Or do you only fuck Council-approved whores? Assuming there are any who would even deign to touch you, given your unsavory past...”

  Revik didn’t answer that either.

  Still, his light coiled into and around the words.

  Terian always had that sick insight of his, the ability to see past the surface, even more than most seers. Maybe because he was a sociopath, he was less likely to reinterpret what he saw to fit his own emotional needs for others’ approval, love, affection, and whatever else. Instead, Terry saw things as they were, at least in that more limited sense. He saw them that way because he needed to, to better manipulate those base reactions to his will.

  Because of course Terry was right.

  Revik knew he was right.

  It was a knowledge that had sat with him the whole time he’d been in those caves, although up there, it had been easy to avoid that truth... .or to pretend it didn’t matter to him maybe. But he knew the truth. None of the seers of the Seven or Adhipan would ever want him. Not after what he’d done. Not after who and what he’d let himself become under the Rooks, what he’d done in training and interrogation sessions, what he’d done during the wars he’d fought for Galaith and others over those years. His disconnection from the Pyramid had been public. Now that he was officially in penance, that disconnection was also on public record... which meant any seer could access that information about him if they wanted.

  Revik would be paying seer whores the rest of his life if he wanted one of his own kind.

  Unless he found another seer as fucked up and dispossessed as he was... one he happened to want... and who wanted him.

  His future life once he left those caves was crystal clear to him.

  He’d be alone. Even more alone than he had been inside the Org.

  Balidor’s light swam more deeply into his, causing Revik’s face to heat more.

  You don’t know that, brother, Balidor murmured softly.

  Warmth pooled in Revik’s chest, a denser sympathy.

  ... You don’t know everything, brother. Not even about yourself.

  Revik glanced behind him, in spite of himself, looking over the faces of the Adhipan seers standing there. He avoided Dalejem’s green eyes, not wanting to see the expression there, or to know if he’d heard everything that had just passed through his mind. He paused instead on Balidor’s face, knowing the older seer meant well, at least.

  Revik knew he should nod to him, acknowledge his words somehow, but he couldn’t seem to make himself do that, either.

  Terian took a step towards him.

  Somehow, the movement snapped the connection Revik had felt there.

  Revik flinched, swiveling his gaze and full attention back towards the Rook.

  He felt his infiltrator’s mask return, even as his mouth hardened.

  He couldn’t be having emotional moments right now, whatever the cause.

  “You really do look... housebroken,” Terian said, that smile once more audible in his voice. “What happened to your light, my friend? Is it true that they stashed you away in Himalayan ice caves after they cleansed your mind? Forced you into penance to account for your sins? I wouldn’t have believed it, myself, but all I can feel on you now is the stink of kneeler’s mantras and incense...”

  He paused, as if waiting to see if Revik would rise.

  When he didn’t, Terian’s voice twisted with contempt.

  “...Clearly they feel they’ve brainwashed you sufficiently by now, though, yes?” he said, those sculpted lips frowning more. “They wouldn’t have let you venture out of your little cage at all if they didn’t, now would they, Revi’? So what did you promise them? Did you promise to behave? To be a good boy, and not to go anywhere or do anything without their permission? Is this group here to protect you, Revi’? Or to make sure I don’t corrupt you with the stink of common sense?”

  Revik didn’t speak.

  He found himself reorienting around the Rook this time, though, seeing him more clearly again. He got enough distance from that initial shock of being so near to his light that he could feel the reactions there.

  Terry wasn’t as blasé about seeing him as he was trying to pretend, either.

  Revik could feel sparks of that reaction, even if he couldn’t untangle them.

  Not all of it was anger, though.

  Whatever Revik felt there, it was too complex to simply be labeled anger. In any case, he could now feel strongly that it was better not to engage the Rook when he was like this.

  Terian glanced briefly at his pet, the Revik lookalike.

  Then he looked back at Revik himself and smiled, that harder look growing more prominent in his amber-colored eyes. Something about that expression caused Revik to tense. Then he felt another probing dart of light from the other seer, stronger than before.

  Balidor again blocked it, shoving the other seer away from Revik’s light.

  That time, Revik sent a flicker of gratitude to the seers standing behind him.

  Terian frowned.

  Staring up at Revik’s face, he began tapping his long fingers on the body of the organic rifle he wore. The cadence was rhythmic, but weirdly distracting, almost like one of those repetitive noises they would use in interrogation cells to cause stress reactions in their subjects.

  Revik found himself looking at the rifle in spite of himself, though.

  The thing truly was state-of-the-art. About six generations ahead of the relics that Revik himself and the Adhipan infiltrators wore.

  Those amber eyes never left Revik’s face.

  “Come now, Revi’... tell me,” Terian cajoled, when the silence stretched. “Confess your sins to me this time, brother, since you never bothered to tell me anything before you left. Is it really true? Are you a believer again, Revi’... like you were back when we found you in that shithole in Berlin? Are you truly ‘in penance,’ as the rumors tell me... or is this just another act to save your worthless skin?”

  Clicking softly, Terian shook his auburn-haired head.

  “...Gaos. I confess... it bothers me, brother. It troubles me greatly to see you like this. I never thought I would have to witness the day that you became such a hypocrite again. You always had an enormous capacity for self-deception, of course, but this...”

  Terian trailed in his words, still staring at Revik’s eyes. He rested both of his forearms on the barrel of his gun, focusing more intently on Revik’s face.

  After a few more seconds of staring, the Rook’s lips curled into another smile.

  “Gods,” he murmured. “But they haven’t taken all of you, Revi’, have they? Not yet. I can still see you there, brother, even under all of that kneeler crap. Tell me, did they really think they could take a poisonous snake and turn him into a fluffy bunny rabbit?”

  His smile grew wider, even as another probe of his light darted out, nearly causing Revik to flinch at the intensity he felt behind it.

  Balidor blocked it again, pushing it off Revik’s aleimi, but Revik found his nerves rising once more, enough that he had to fight taking a step back.

  “How long do you suppose this transformation of yours will last this time, Revi’?” Terian said then. “...How long before those appetites rear their ugly heads? Before the hunger to have them sated grows too much for you? Your new friends may think they know you, brother, but I do know you. I know you far better than they ever will... better than you perhaps know yourself...”

  Again, Revik didn’t speak.

  He fought to push away the images that rose in his light.

&
nbsp; He felt Terian pushing even more of those images at him, trying to spark more memories, more of those feelings. When Balidor blocked them, Terian shifted his focus, aiming those same images at the Adhipan seers who stood behind him, meaning Mara, Yumi, Dalai, Vikram.

  And Dalejem. He was aiming them at Dalejem, too.

  Revik’s jaw clenched. He didn’t look back at the Adhipan seers that time.

  He forced the infiltrator’s mask down tighter, staring at Terian alone.

  Terian was smiling at him now.

  Revik fought with words, some way to pull this back, when Terian abruptly straightened from his more languid pose.

  When he spoke next, his voice had turned flat. Business-like.

  “So what’s the parlay, Revi’?” he said. When Revik didn’t speak, Terian’s voice shifted to an open impatience. “What is it that your kneeler masters have to say to us, old friend? What would you like to plead for, on their behalf... ?”

  Revik felt his jaw harden more.

  “Galaith agreed to this,” he reminded the Rook.

  Terian laughed, holding up his hands to the rest of the Org operatives. Revik watched his fingers, frowning at the mocking peace sign Terian made in seer sign language.

  “You are quite safe, Revi’... quite safe. Do not worry, my brother.” Terian grinned, motioning around the clearing at his seventeen visible agents. “None of my people will shoot you, I promise. Tell me your new friends’ concerns and wishes... I won’t bite.”

  Revik glanced behind him, feeling movement in the Barrier as much as in the physical. The Adhipan leader had shifted position, and now stood closer to Revik, only a few feet away on his left, nearly even with him in the clearing.

  The message there was clear.

  Revik looked back at Terian, then deliberately rested his hands on his hips.

  He’d gotten the message, too.

  “Fine,” he said, motioning that he understood, as much to Balidor as to Terian. He repeated the message for the parlay that Balidor and Vash had given him before they arrived. “You need to back off, Terry. Now.”

  “Do I? Now?” Terian said, his voice openly amused.

  Revik chose to ignore it.

  Like Balidor, he wanted this over. Now.