by J Peach
I didn’t want to risk the life of our unborn child, hell our living son over that bullshit. Blaze had made it perfectly clear he wasn’t going to run so sooner or later, folks were going to learn he wasn’t dead and more bullets were sure to come followed by more death.
“Momma,” Blake knocked on the bedroom door.
Sniffling, I wiped my eyes with the back of my hands. “Baby, go back to your room. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“Are you okay?” he asked.
Tears ran down my face again. My little protector. He loved his momma and I loved him with everything that was me. Wiping my face, I went to the door and opened it. I gave my baby a tear filled smile. “I’ll be fine. Come on, let’s go watch a movie.” I wrapped my arm around his shoulder and led him to the family room that was on the same floor our bedrooms were on. “You pop the popcorn and I’ll find a movie. Okay.”
“Put in Transformers,” Blake said from over by the microwave.
That boy knew he loved his Transformers. Laughing, I put the first movie in and then got comfortable on the couch. Once Blake had the popcorn in a bowl, he came and sat next to me.
“Are we leaving?” Blake suddenly asked.
His question confused me. “I don’t understand what you mean.” I’m sure my confusion showed on my face.
“I heard y’all downstairs fighting. I don’t wanna leave. I like us together,” Blake explained.
I hated that he overheard us yelling at one another. Blaze and I fighting was one thing I tried to keep from him. We had never fought in front of Blake and I wanted to keep it that way. I pulled him into my side and wrapped my arms around him.
“We not going nowhere and we’re always going to be together. I promise.” Kissing the side of his head, I held him to me.
“Okay,” Blake got comfortable against me and started eating popcorn.
We both fell silent and watched the movie. I pushed what happened between Blaze and I to the back of my mind, not wanting to think about it any longer. And I wasn’t going to make any final decision until I knew for sure I was pregnant.
Chapter 14
Blaze
“You not hearing me. If she don’t feel safe what the fuck is my purpose here? What kinda man can’t make his lady feel safe? Who the fuck wanna be with somebody like that? Huh?” I snapped at King as he tried to explain that I had taken what Peaches said the wrong way. But I heard what she said loud and clear.
“B, she ain’t mean it the way you taking it. You know how Peaches can be sometimes when explaining shit. She’s scared, man, not only for her but for Lil B, you. Nigga, don’t forget she thought you was dead for two fuckin’ weeks. With this shit starting back up, you can’t be pissed at her for not wanting to bring a shorty into this shit.” King shook his head as he leaned against the doorway.
“I hear you but you not understanding me. She supposed to trust and believe that I got her regardless of the bullshit that’s going on. You ain’t see the look on her face, the doubt in me. You ain’t see that shit.” My hand rubbed over my head. The events that took place five years ago came rushing back to me. The pain Peaches went through from the beating she gotten from Le’Ron, the miscarriage. How she pushed me away.
She was right about one thing. Every time shit was going right, something fuck’d up happen.
“King, I can’t lose her again. After that shit happened, not only did I lose my baby but I lost her. It took Peaches five fuckin’ years to come back to me. Do you know how hard it was not to be with her, to let her go? I can’t do that again. I’m not losing her or my baby behind this bullshit again. I can’t.” It was hard the first time to let Peaches and my son be away from me. That wasn’t about to happen again. “First, I need to get the fuck out this chair.”
That I was determined to do.
***
Ejecting the clip from my Desert Eagle, I slammed another one in, aimed it toward the target sheet and let my trigger finger go. A few days had passed since the whole blow out with Peaches. And I’ve been avoiding her. I couldn’t bring myself to be around her or Blake knowing I couldn’t make her feel safe. I felt helpless, less of a man knowing that. I couldn’t stand to be around them while feeling like that.
For these past few days, I had been spending time in the sound proof shed. I had turned one side into a shooting range, while in the far back was where I had my exercise equipment.
The clanking of the emptied clip brought me from my thoughts. The shed door soon opened and Khyree walked in.
Never had I ever trusted a person more so then I did King or Sam but over the years, Khyree had proven he was loyal. Never had shit ever came back to me when I dealt with him. Once I was shot, both him and Khalil stayed with me day in and out, making sure I was straight.
“Peaches cooked. She said come eat,” Khyree informed.
“I’ll be in there when I finish out here.” I sat the Desert Eagle down and grabbed the AK-47 from off of the table.
“You know you’re about to fuck this whole thing up because of your pride. She has every right to feel all of what she’s feeling—”
“You don’t understand—” I tried to explain but he cut me off, snatching the gun from my hands.
“I’m not the one who has to understand. You don’t have a kid by me nor do you plan on spending the rest of your life with me. From what I know about Peaches, you can only avoid her for so long before she come to you, which ain’t gon’ be good.” Khyree shook his head with a laugh. “Maybe you forgot but um yo girl hits and hit hard. Trust me, if Peaches’ pregnant like I think she is, don’t let her walk out here. Yo ass just might need these guns.” He laughed before he let the AK rip.
He was right about two things. Peaches’ ass does punch and she hit hard when she do. I really did need to talk to her. We were past all this bullshit. We had come to the point where we could talk about anything. My eyes slid to the wheelchair I still sat in and it caused that less of a man feeling to rise once again.
“Come on. Let’s go,” he nodded toward the door.
The feeling pissed me off. I couldn’t go in there yet. “I’ll be in there when I’m finished out here.” I turned away from him and made my way to the walking bar. My legs really couldn’t uphold my upper body just yet and walking was painful. But I had to get out that chair. I was going to push my body past it limits until I was able to make Peaches feel safe.
I grabbed the bars using my upper body strength while ignoring the pain in my shoulder. Pain made me weak and useless, I couldn’t afford to be or feel that. Putting pressure on my right leg caused my knee to go out from the pain shooting up leg.
“I got you.” Khyree caught me before I could hit the floor.
For most of my life, I never had to depend on no one for shit and now I needed someone to help me learn how to walk all over again. Hell no! I jerked away from him. “I got it.”
I didn’t have it and after a few failed tries, I wanted to give up but all I had to do was think about Peaches and Lil B. The thought of losing them had me pushing through the pain.
I was determined now more than ever to get myself out that fuckin’ chair and end all the bullshit.
***
“I’ight Blaze, you need a break.” Khyree grabbed his bottle of water. He took a drink then grabbed another one and held it out toward me.
“I’m good.” I was tired I couldn’t deny that and my body was in agony but I couldn’t stop. Not until I could walk to the end of the bar then back to where I started without slipping.
“Man take the damn water. B, doing this isn’t going to heal you faster. Your body is still weak, it’s not fully healed. The nerves in your legs are still damaged and you don’t want to push yourself to hard. On top of that you’re making yourself dehydrated, Blaze that’s not going to help you.” Khyree was frustrated, the redness to his face told that much.
I let out a heavy pant. “How long do you think it’ll be before I’m fully healed?” I took in a deep breath as if doing so would caus
e the pain that vibrated through my body to stop.
He shook his head. “A month in a half/two tops and that’s if you haven’t caused any more damage to your legs. You’re trying to do too much and I don’t think your body can handle all of that right now.”
“I don’t have two months. I need to kick this shit now.” I had been cooped up long enough. I couldn’t stay down any longer. I had moves I needed to make. “That’s too long.”
“It’s not going to happen overnight. Blaze, you’re just now getting feeling back into your legs. You don’t want to fuck that up with putting too much on your body.” Khyree repeated.
I wasn’t trying to hear it. “That’s a risk I’m willing to take. I can’t sit around here and do nothing.” With that, I took a deep breath, trying to block out the pain as I gripped the bars once more. Slowly but steadily taking one painful step after another.
***
One Week Later
“Don’t hold it close to your face, that damn thing will jerk back and wack the fuck outda you. Loosen the fuck up, hold your arms out, grip the handle tight. Now pull the trigger.” I instructed. He let off a shot and then another.
“This thang got a little kick to it.”
I looked at Blake and laughed. “The fuck you know about something having some kick?” I brought in the sheet he shot at and then looked back at him.
“What?” he asked.
“Yo ass don’t have no aim, that’s what. You get that shit from yo momma’s side. King’s ass ain’t got no damn aim either. You need to work on that.” Pushing the button, the sheet went into the distance. “Go,” I nodded toward the sheet.
Blake plugged his ears then grabbed the .380 and started shooting.
Peaches had sent Blake out to the shed a few days ago to bring me my food and ever since then he had been sticking with me. It was stupid of me but I decided to teach him how to handle a gun. For the first three days, I basically had him stripping the guns down and cleaning them before showing him how to turn the safety on and off. I knew Peaches was going to be pissed when she found out but he had to learn sooner or later.
I rolled away from him, going back to the weights. Khyree was pissed and kept insisting I was pushing my body past its limits. I agreed with him all the way. I was risking everything by pushing myself. I just couldn’t sit around and wait for my body to heal. I had to push past the pain so I could move around.
“Ah, shit!” I grunted as I pushed myself up to sit on the bench. I looked over at Khyree to see him shaking his head. “Shut the fuck up.”
“I ain’t said shit. I’m just watching yo stupid ass. Continue.” He waved his hands toward the weights.
If I didn’t need his ass, I would’ve put him out. “Get the fuck out. Waving at me, you whiny bitch.”
“Whiny? We gon’ see who be crying in minute. Bitch!” He slapped his hand against my shoulder hard before walking past me laughing.
“Son of a bitch!” I grunted out then took a deep breath, trying to block out the pain. After a few seconds of deep breathing, my legs started to slowly lift the weights. Every time I pushed it up, a painful moan left my mouth.
After the twentieth lift for my right leg, I massaged my thigh down to the calf before I started on my left leg. “Ah,” I groaned out as I began.
“What the hell? Blake Rashad Carter, what the— if you don’t put that gotdamn gun down!” Peaches yelled from behind me.
I looked back just in time to see her whacking him upside the head with her hand before she turned her angry glare toward Khyree.
“And you see him with this damn gun?” she screamed at him.
Khyree quickly pointed to me. “I was against it too, Ms. Peaches. That’s your man over there. He done lost his mind. I said you was gon’ be pissed but Blaze ain’t want to listen to me. So don’t be mad at lil man, it wasn’t his fault. Blaze told him he was gon’ teach him how to look out for the both of you when he wasn’t around.” Khyree told her in one breath.
My head tilted, looking at him funny. Not believing this nigga done stood his grown ass right there and told on my ass like she was his momma. What the fuck was wrong with him?
“Blaze, you got him shooting guns now? Really?”
My words got stuck in my throat. Shid, I ain’t know what to say. Peaches was looking pissed and ready to swing. I couldn’t hit back if she came at me, so I had to choose my words carefully.
“Y’all give us a minute and Blake don’t think for a second that I’m done with you. Now go get cleaned up for dinner.” She waved them off.
Both Blake and Khyree hauled ass out of the shed.
“Peaches, it wasn’t shit but a little toy gun.” I shrugged as if it was nothing. Though the gun was real to me it was only a little toy given the size of it.
She picked up the gun and aimed it at the target. Peaches let off two shots. “So toy bullets just ripped through that sheet is what you’re telling me?” she said, walking over to me with the gun in her hand.
“Oh shit!” I lowly muttered to myself.
“That’s what you saying? It has to be true because I know you’re not crazy enough to give our son a loaded gun.” She let out a humorous laugh. “It’s such a toy that I could literally just shoot you and nothing would happen, right?” She laughed harder than before, pointing the gun at me.
What the fuck is wrong with her? “Peach, baby, you good?” She was scaring me.
“Water would probably come out if I shot you seeing as the gun is just a toy!” Her hand went back before it shot forward and she slapped the fuck out of me. “Do I look fuckin’ stupid to you? What would possess you to give him loaded fuckin’ gun? Have you lost your gotdamn mind, Blaze?”
She had me feeling little as hell right now. “Bitch, is you—”
Her hand shot out again cutting my words off as my face went to the side.
“Call me another one! I dare you too!”
I rubbed my jaw and nodded my head. I was crazy but not stupid. This was a fight I wasn’t going to win. “Peach, don’t hit me no damn mo’. I ain’t even bullshittin’. It was stupid, I know, but shid with the shit that’s going on, he needed to know how to handle one. I’m not saying he was ever gon’ use it, but shid, we don’t know.”
Her brows rose. “Are you hearing yourself right now? Blaze he’s eight. There’s no way in hell he should know how to handle a gotdamn gun. What is wrong with you?”
“Ain’t shit wrong with me. I’m good.” Grabbing the bar above my head, I pulled it down lifting the weights up. With each movement, a grunt left my mouth. Peaches stood in front of me with her face scrunched up into an angry mug. My eyes diverted away from her to the wall.
“You’ve practically moved out here but nothing is wrong with you. Blaze, you have Blake handling guns and you’re going to tell me there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you?” She moved back into my line of vision.
Sometimes talking to Peaches was like having a conversation with a brick wall. She never heard what I was saying, which became frustrating to the point I wanted to choke the hell out of her. “I said I’m good. Gon’ back inside. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“You’re dismissing me? Really?” Peaches arms crossed over her chest as her hip cocked to the side.
I didn’t say nothing to her. Instead, I continued my workout.
“You know what? Stay yo ass out here. I don’t even care no more. I’m not about to stay here only to be ignored. It’s been almost two weeks and I’m not about to do this. Blake and I will be going back home to Lafayette tomorrow.”
I let the weights go, then grabbed Peaches and quickly snatched her to me. “Yo ass ain’t going nowhere and if you think you’re taking my son, you done lost yo fuckin’ mind. Peaches, don’t threaten me especially not now.”
“Let me go,” she jerked out of my hold. “I’m not threatening you, I’m telling you what we’re doing. I don’t need the stress and we’re not staying out here when you’re like this.”
&n
bsp; “I’m good. Ain’t shit wrong with me—”
“Yes there is and it’s crazy you don’t see it. Blake had to come out here and learn how to shoot a gun just to spend time with you. When was the last time you came in the house to play a game with him, watched a movie or done anything with your son. Hell, actually had a normal conversation with Blake? Sat at the table beside him? Blaze, when was the last time you talked to me? It’s been damn near two weeks, that’s how long it’s been. You’re so caught up in your own self loath that you’re pushing us away. So we’re going.” She reached in her pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper threw it in my face then walked away.
“Peaches!” She kept going, not once looking back. “Peaches, yo ass bet not leave this gotdamn house.” The shed door slammed shut. I picked up the paper and my eyes glanced over the words. “Damn,” the paper confirmed she was six weeks pregnant but the fact I missed her going to the doctor fuck’d with me.
I got back into the wheelchair and made my way back inside of the house.
Chapter 15
Peaches
I stopped in the kitchen where Bellow sat eating the food I cooked earlier. “Bell, will you take us to a hotel, please?” As of late, any place I needed to go, Bellow had been there for me. He did anything I asked of him with no problem, especially with King going back and forth from Gary to Muncie. Bellow was the only other person that was truly looking out for us.
“Yeah, I’ll take you. Just let me know when you ready,” he replied before starting back on his food.
“Thanks, Bell.” After thanking him, I walked into the living room where Blake sat on the floor playing his video game. “Blake go in your room and pack a bag.”
“Where we going?” He asked me.
I glared at him and pointed to the stairs. “Don’t ask me no questions, don’t get smart and you bet not stomp on those stairs. Just do what I just asked. Now go.”
He let out a sigh and dropped his remote controller to his game and slowly walked up the stairs with me behind him. I went into the hall closet and grabbed two duffle bags.