For Always

by Janae Mitchell

  He took a deep breath, and then another one after that. I was waiting on him to start snoring, but he didn't. He just kept breathing deeply, so I knew he was asleep. I didn't know how long it would take for him to start dreaming, but I thought if he didn't soon that I would be asleep, too. But, thank goodness, it didn't take long.

  I was surprised, at first, as to what I was seeing. It was like I was asleep and dreaming, but I knew I wasn't. And if I opened my eyes and focused on my room, purposely blocking it out, the images went away. But if I just relaxed, my mind was flooded with Beau's dreams. It was the weirdest thing I had ever experienced. I laid there spying on Beau's dreams, wondering if I should stop invading his privacy. But the more I saw, the more I wanted to see.

  He was at the lake with several other people, swimming and swinging off of a rope swing into the water. "James! Do a flip this time, ya chicken," he teased his brother. "Or do I need to show ya how it's done?" There were several girls staring longingly at Beau, and he knew it, but didn't care. The feeling I got was that girls were always throwing themselves at him. That surprised me, because for some reason I thought girls were more, I don't know, proper back then. But from what I could tell from what he thought about a couple of them, they were anything but proper, and I suddenly felt extremely jealous. "Okay, let me give it a go," Beau said as he grabbed the rope from him and took off out over the water. He flung himself way out, doing several flips before swan diving into the water, which scared the crap out of me since it felt like I was doing it, too. So I opened my eyes for a minute to reassure myself I was still in my bed. But when I shut my eyes back, he was in another dream.

  He was sitting at a table with his family. "Lucy, please eat with your mouth closed."

  "Yes, ma'am," his little sister said.

  "With a mouth that big, how can she, Ma?" James teased her.

  "Now, now, James," she scolded him, but he just smiled at Lucy as she stuck her tongue out at him. He looked more like their dad, who was sitting at the head of the table.

  "How did y’uns do today, Martha? Did many folk come in and trade?"

  "With it rainin' as hard as it was, I think most stayed home today."

  "I wish I'd stayed home today, too," Beau said. "Pa worked me so hard I got water in my boots and had to turn 'em up on the porch to dry out. Had to go barefoot all the way home ‘cause they were so sloshy. I just hope they'll be dry by tomorrow."

  "Thomas, eat. Once the table's cleared, it's cleared, which means—"

  "No more food for you, young man," James interrupted.

  "James," their dad warned as he gave him a stern look.

  "I was just helpin' her out, Pa."

  "We sure could've used that helpin' out in the fields today," Beau said. "I had to do most of the corn myself."

  "I wanna help," Thomas spoke up.

  Beau patted his little brother's back and said, "Let him come out with us tomorrow. I'll show him how us Brogans work."

  All I saw was Thomas smiling up at me as this dream faded into another one. But this time he was chasing animals—wild animals—and they were chasing him, which felt too much like they were chasing me. I had to open my eyes again when I saw the first snake. I waited a while before I shut them back, and when I did, he was sitting on his stump. His heart ached for his family and for the days when this tree still stood. I didn't think I could stand to watch, or feel, anymore when his dream changed again.

  He was laying here, in my bed, looking at me, which felt weird. He was stroking my hair and whispered, "Happy birthday, Malyn."

  I saw myself smile as I mumbled, "Beau…you’re…here."

  Then he said, "For always."

  My heart swelled. I wish he would've told me this while I was awake. Or maybe this didn't even happen. It was just a dream, after all. Either way, it was during this dream when I fell asleep. My dreams continued to mix with his dreams the rest of the night, and instead of waking to the sound of screams, we woke to the smell of breakfast.

  As we sat at breakfast, I told them that I could see what Beau was dreaming even though I was awake. Grandmama seemed a little surprised, but said she would talk to Max about it. I thought Beau would ask me what all I saw, but he didn't.

  "Ya know, ya may have all sorts of special gifts that we don't know 'bout yet."

  "I hope not." I hadn't thought much about it, but she was right. I couldn't imagine what other gifts I might have besides the ones I already had. I'm thinking that seeing dead people, and now being able to see into their dreams, was enough.

  * * *

  The sun beat down on my face, melting away the stress from the past couple of days. The radio was so loud that I hadn't heard Beth go inside, and it startled me when her shadow passed across my face.

  "Lemonade?" she asked as she handed me a glass. "Mom made it last night."

  I sat up, took a sip, and sighed, watching the sun reflect in the pool. "Thanks."

  "Are you okay? You've been quiet today."

  "Yeah, just need to relax. Thanks for inviting me over." I laid back and sighed again. "This is nice."

  "You're welcome." She laid down on the chair beside me. "But I will warn you, Jace will be home soon. He's off today."

  I suddenly got butterflies in my stomach, which just made me mad. Beau gives you butterflies, not Jace. Maybe I was just nervous since we were broken up. "That's okay. We're still friends, so maybe it won't be too awkward." Or at least I hoped it wouldn't be.

  "I'm gonna have him bring us something to eat on his way home, I'm starving."

  We swam and floated around in the pool until Jace got home with our food. I hated the fact that I was glad to see him. "How much do we owe you?" I asked as I got my food out of the bag, still not looking at him.

  "I don't owe him anything," Beth interjected.

  "Only because it was free," he told her.

  "Thanks, I was starving." I sat down at the table next to Beth, and Jace sat down beside me.

  "No problem."

  We all made small talk about work when I heard the door slide open. Great.

  "And why wasn't I invited to lunch?" Tonya asked as she sat down with us.

  Oh my word. When are you gonna go home?

  "Here, you can have a bite of mine," Beth offered.

  She leaned over and whispered, “I’ll have a bite of yours,” to Jace, causing him to drop his head and smile.

  "I'm not eating," he said as he shook his head at her.

  "I know," she said with a smirk.

  Was she really doing this right now? I'm sure she had heard that we broke up, but to take it there in front of me was just too much. "So, when are you and your family leaving?"

  The corner of her mouth turned up as she said, “In the morning, I think. Are you anxious for me to go?"

  Yes, as a matter of fact. I had just taken a bite, so I just shrugged my shoulders and shook my head nonchalantly.

  I could see out of the corner of my eye that Jace was smiling. Then he reached over and grabbed one of my fries. "What are y'all doing today?"

  "What does it look like we're doin'?" Beth asked.

  "I meant later. Surely you’re not going to stay in the pool until dark."

  "We might. Ya never know."

  I just kept cramming food in my mouth so I wouldn't have to talk.

  "I know what we're doing," Tonya said as she laid her hand on Jace's arm.

  He looked surprised. "What are we doing?"

  "I thought you could take me out. We haven't got to spend much time together since I've been in town. And since I'll be leaving soon. . . . "

  He looked at me like he wanted my approval, but it wasn't my place to do that now, so I just kept eating. Then he shocked me with what he said next.

  "Maybe we can all go out; us," he said, pointing to himself and Tonya, “Beth and Hunter, you and what's his name?"

  "Beau."

  "Beau?" Tonya asked, looking surprised. "So you already have another boyfriend?" She laughed. "Well, isn't
that convenient."

  I just rolled my eyes at her and then I heard myself tell Jace, "Sure, we'll go."

  "Great," Jace said. "Beth, do you want to see if Hunter can go? Maybe we can go ride go-carts, or go see a movie or something."

  Beth was looking at me like I had lost my mind. Maybe I had. "Yeah, I'll call Hunter."

  Tonya looked pissed. I'm sure she wanted Jace all to herself, and it made me smile at the fact that her plans got ruined. But my smile quickly faded at the thought of all of us going out, including Beau. He hadn't been around anyone but me and Grandmama, so I was a little afraid. Maybe I could pretend he was sick or something. But then Tonya would win, and I really didn't want that to happen. Even though it shouldn't matter to me anymore who he was with, it did.

  "What time will y'all be ready to go?" Jace asked me with a satisfied look on his face.

  I couldn't understand why he would want to see me and Beau together. Maybe he just wanted to see what his competition was. Or maybe he wanted to try to scare him off. Either way, I was dreading it. And now all the food I had been cramming down my throat was churning in my stomach and threatening to escape.

  "I'll have to go home and take a shower. And I'm not even sure what Beau is doing today," which was a lie. He was helping Grandmama clean out the shed. "But if he can go, it'll be later this afternoon, maybe around five or six."

  "Well, this should be interesting, to say the least," Tonya smirked.

  "I'm kind of anxious to meet this Beau character," Beth said. I had told her a little about him, but obviously not everything.

  "Me, too," Jace said with an unreadable look on his face.

  "Now, Jace. You ain't gonna cause a scene, are you? ‘Cause if that's the case, we'll stay home," Beth said.

  Jace looked from her back to me, shaking his head. "No. I just want to make sure he's an okay guy, that's all. And if we're going to be seeing each other out and stuff, I'd rather get to know him first so it's not so awkward."

  "If it's going to be a while before we leave, then I'm going for a dip." Tonya stood up and walked toward the door. "You want to swim with me, Jacey?"

  "Nah, I think I'm going to lie down for a while. I got up early this morning."

  "Suit yourself."

  "I don't like her," I admitted after she walked inside.

  They both busted out laughing and Beth said, "Why? I think she's a hoot."

  "But you love everybody," I told her.

  We were talking about where we wanted to go later when I decided it was time to head on home. Even though I had put sunscreen on, I could tell I was getting burnt. "I guess I'll call once I get home and see what's going on." I felt Jace watching me as I gathered my stuff.

  "Can I walk you out?"

  "Sure." We walked in silence all the way to my Jeep. He opened the door for me to get in. "Are you sure you want all of us to go out? Won't it bother you seeing us together?"

  "Yeah, I'm sure it will. But it may make it easier, too."

  "How?"

  "I don't know." He shut my door and leaned against my window. "Maybe it's just an excuse to see you again."

  "Jace."

  "I'm sorry. But any chance I get to be with you, I'm gonna take it. And I do want to make sure this guy's okay. I don't want you being with some Jerk. You deserve more than that."

  "Jace! Like I'd go out with a jerk."

  He was quiet, like he wanted to say something else, but didn't. "Okay, just call me or Beth when you have it figured out. We can all meet back here or at your place or something."

  "Okay. I'll call you later."

  He stepped back, nodded his head once, and smiled at me as I drove away. How could I let what was supposed to be a relaxing day by the pool turn out to be an ordeal like this? Why did my mouth say we'd go before my brain gave it permission? All I could think about all the way home was how Beau was going to kill me.

  When I pulled up in the driveway, Beau was throwing some loose brush into a pile. All he had on was a pair of jeans and some boots that I assumed Nellie had bought him. I turned the Jeep off and just sat there watching him. When he noticed that I wasn't getting out, he stopped and looked at me. He was truly a sight to behold.

  "Are ya gonna sit in your Jeep all day?"

  I stopped staring and got out. "Sorry, I was just enjoying the view." As I got closer to him, he stepped back and looked me up and down, shaking his head. "What?"

  "You're practically naked. I like it, but I don't want everyone else likin' it, too."

  All I had on was my bikini and a pair of shorts. "Well, I'm not gonna swim in my clothes."

  "But you ain't swimmin'." He was serious.

  "Are you mad?"

  "No, I just don't like other people lookin' at ya. I mean," he shook his head, "for Pete's sake, Malyn." He looked me up and down again and shook his head and smiled. "You're lucky Nellie's here."

  I hugged him and had to take a step back. "Dang, you're sweaty! You should've worn shorts or something cooler besides these jeans, which look great on you, by the way."

  "I can't work in those things." He went back to moving the brush.

  "So. . . ."

  When I didn't finish, he stopped working and looked at me, wiping sweat from his forehead. "So?"

  "So, we were invited to hang out this evening with some of my friends."

  He dragged more limbs and threw them onto the pile. "Really? What friends?"

  "Beth and Hunter, this twit named Tonya . . . and Jace."

  He stopped and looked at me, putting his hands on his hips like Grandmama did when I did something dumb. "That sap? Why would I wanna go anywhere with him?"

  "He just thought it would be a good idea if you two met."

  "Why?"

  "I don't know."

  "Do you wanna go?"

  "No, but I told them we would before I thought about it. But we don't have to."

  He looked at me for a moment before he smiled and said, "No, I think it'll be fun."

  "Oh, no. I'm not going if you ain't gonna behave."

  He wrapped his arms around me and wiped his sweat all over me. "I'll behave as much as I can. But I ain't makin' no promises." He kissed me and all I tasted was salt, but I didn't care.

  We headed into the house and I told Grandmama about our upcoming evening.

  She looked at me over her glasses and said, "Do ya think that's wise? What if his pump dies or somethin'?"

  "I thought about that. But I'm thinking as long as he keeps the one on him like he usually does, and I keep one in my purse, we should be okay."

  She looked at Beau. "And you're okay with this?"

  He shrugged his shoulders. "Don't matter to me. Might even be kinda fun," he smirked.

  I was beginning to dread it more and more, so I thought I'd go on up and take a shower. While I was getting my clothes together, I turned my computer on and pulled up my music list. "I had a thought."

  "I'm proud of ya."

  "Ha ha." I made him a playlist then I grabbed his new iPod that I had bought him and sat it on my desk. "Okay. While I'm in the shower, do you want to go through my music and see if you like any of it? If you do, just click on it and drag it over here like this. Then when we get music in your playlist, I can transfer it to your iPod so you can listen to it."

  He seemed confused. "Um, okay. And why are we doin' this?"

  "So you can listen to music while you're . . . doing whatever. I always listen to music when I do stuff."

  "Alrighty then. This oughta be interestin'," he said as he clicked on the first song. He leaned back in my chair and put his hands behind his head, smiling.

  He was still only wearing blue jeans, so I was a bit in awe of how handsome he was—he wore death very well. He laughed, and I was afraid I had been thinking out loud, but realized he was laughing at the song that was on, which I had been oblivious to. When I heard which one it was, I started laughing, too. "Oh, this is one of my favorites."

  "Save a what and ride who?" he asked, st
ill laughing. "Now I kinda like this song." He leaned forward, picking up the mouse and looking at it. "Now what did ya say I do with this?"

  I grabbed the mouse from him and showed him how to put songs into his playlist again. "Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and get in the shower. You can get in when I'm done." I leaned over to kiss him and he pulled me onto his lap.

  He kissed me and sighed. "If Nellie wasn't here…" He looked up and me and shook his head.

  "If Nellie wasn't here we wouldn't have even made it inside," I teased, "with you in nothing but those jeans."

  He smiled. "So ya like my new jeans, huh?"

  "I don't think it's the jeans as much as the lack of a shirt with the jeans," I admitted.

  "Ya better go get in the shower," he whispered against my lips, "or we're gonna get in trouble."

  I sighed and dragged myself off of his lap, grabbing my clothes and heading into the bathroom. As I shut the door and turned my radio on, I couldn't stop smiling.

  * * *

  Beau showered while I was getting ready in my room. My shower had relaxed me, making me dread the evening much less. I was almost looking forward to it—almost. Jace was, without a doubt, a very cute guy; but Beau was ruggedly handsome. I was anxious to show him off, but nervous that his gentlemanly ways would be taken the wrong way. I would have to give him some pointers on how to act, especially around Tonya. The last thing I wanted was her getting the wrong idea.

  Once we were both ready, I called Beth to let her know, since we all had decided to meet at her house. When she told me who all was going, I about told her to forget it. "Why is Chad going? He is such an—"

  "And so is Morgan," she interrupted.

  I about dropped the phone. "What? Are you kidding? Why the—"

  "I know," she cut me off again. "I could've killed Hunter. He invited Tyler, which is fine. But then he told Chad we were all goin' out, and you know he can't miss anything. And he's been talkin' to Morgan, so of course he wanted her to go."