Falling Away

by Penelope Douglas

  “I feel like I’m falling,” she admitted through her breathlessness, standing up straight and taking my hands away. “But it feels good.”

  I cocked my head and folded my arms over my chest. “Are we putting K.C. away so Juliet can come out to play?” I joked.

  She mock-scowled at me. “Juliet’s not any more docile, if that’s what you’re hoping.”

  I licked my lips. “I don’t care who it is that gets naked for me, just as long as I get her again.”

  Her eyebrows did a nosedive, she let out a disgusted breath, and whipped around, stalking off, and I was sure my face was red with laughing so hard.

  Man, I loved to piss her off. I loved the foreplay. And I was going to enjoy backing her into a wall later on and convincing her she wanted to spend the night.

  Madoc stalked over, holding Fallon’s hand, looking back at Juliet and then to me.

  And he started singing Foreigner. “ ‘I want to know what love is! I want you to show me!’ ”

  “It’s scary that you know that song,” Fallon grumbled.

  I watched as Juliet walked over to Shane. They were looking at a car that had its hood propped up, but I saw her peek over at me out of the corner of her eye. She couldn’t hide it. She pursed her lips together in a smile and rolled her eyes at me.

  She was taking me as I was and loosening up—and I wasn’t thinking about my father, the Loop, or anything but her.

  We were both falling.

  Walking down the line, I checked cars off on the roster on my iPad, making sure they were present and ready.

  “Suited up?” I inquired, looking down at Derek Roman, who was fixing a GoPro on the trunk of a Raptor.

  He stood up, gesturing. “You tell me. Can you access it?”

  These cameras couldn’t stream footage live from long distances, but I could access it on my phone. I waved, picking myself up on the screen of my cell.

  “You got it,” I said. “You’re getting pretty fast at that.”

  He smiled, looking too much like a five-year-old who just got a pat on the head.

  “Faster means more races,” he pointed out. “More races mean more bets. And more bets—”

  “Mean more money,” I finished, shaking my head. “Yeah, I know where your heart lies.” I jerked my head and walked off. “I need to check in with Zack. See you in a minute.”

  He turned back to his work, and I grinned, actually surprised that he was becoming an asset.

  Derek Roman was a couple of years older, but you wouldn’t have known it in high school. He used to race the Loop, but his antics got him in a lot of trouble. He didn’t get along with Jared, when they raced, or anyone else. He was careless, sloppy, and aggressive, exactly the kind of driver I didn’t want here.

  So instead of banning him and waiting for the retaliation that would eventually come, I played it smart.

  I kissed his ass.

  Bullies want to matter. They act the way they do because they don’t feel important.

  So I gave him that. Told him how much we had planned and what kind of undertaking it all was. How much I needed help, and how much I needed someone who knew the Loop inside and out, and then I gave him jobs.

  He stayed busy, got special perks, and got his name officially listed on our Web site, any advertising, and he was involved in decisions. Now, if he decided to be stupid, he’d have a lot to lose.

  “So.” Madoc ran up next to me, throwing an arm over my shoulder. “Could you possibly fit me into the schedule?”

  “Tonight?”

  I could feel his eyes roll as I worked my way through the crowd up to the announcer’s stage, and he fell in behind me.

  “Yeah,” he answered. “I want to do that couples race you’ve got going on. Fallon loved riding with Jared that time he and Tate raced, and I want to take my wife out.”

  I ran my hand over the top of my head, letting out a frustrated sigh as I stopped next to the stairs.

  I turned, looking at him. “Do you have any idea how far in advance these races are scheduled now? It’s not high school anymore.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “Do I need to kick your ass?”

  I dropped my gaze, smirking. Yeah, Madoc and Jared were old favorites here, but things were a hell of a lot different now. Whereas they had to contend with three or four races a night, we now had ten to fifteen, and some going simultaneously.

  “I’m not saying that.” I moved away from the stairs, seeing Zack—the Racemaster—climb down from the podium.

  “Hey,” I greeted Zack, and gestured over toward the track. “Roman’s going to send off the rally race, so can you make sure Sam knows to get his ass out first with the camera before they take off this time?”

  “Sure.” He nodded and slapped Madoc on the arm. “Hey, man.”

  “Hey,” Madoc answered but kept his eyes on me, waiting for me to get my reality check.

  “Okay.” I laughed after Zack had walked off. “Of course I can fit you in.” I lowered my voice and arched an eyebrow before continuing. “Even though everything is scheduled down to the minute, and you’re messing with my timetable right now. But okaaaay.”

  He smiled, teeth flashing bright white, nudging my arm. “Thanks, dude!” And then walked off.

  “You need an opponent,” I called after him.

  He turned, slipping his hands into his jeans. “I know,” he replied.

  But I didn’t like his smile as he walked away.

  For the next half hour, we got through five races—two rallies off track and three on. Once the cars were suited up and races began, my job got easier. I sat up in the podium running the cameras, alternating angles for the viewers so they always had exciting perspectives when they were on the site. Once in a while, I’d have to go and help with the cameras or the cars, because something wasn’t working, but Zack handled setting off the cars, and he, Roman, and a few others handled the bets.

  It was easy and comfortable. Up here. Alone. With a clear view of the action below.

  “Hey.”

  I turned around and saw Cameron, stepping up the last stair, carrying a red Solo cup. She was dressed in a black miniskirt and a red flannel shirt tied above her belly button with the sleeves rolled up.

  “Hey.” I leaned back against the small table, crossing my arms over my chest.

  She came up next to me, looking down at the crowd silently. Everyone was enjoying whatever they’d brought in their coolers while Rob Zombie’s “Never Gonna Stop” played over the speakers.

  I rubbed my fingers against my palms as I clenched my fists. My hands were actually sweating, and I didn’t understand why—after five years of knowing Cameron—I was suddenly uncomfortable.

  The thick silence hung there between us, and I searched my brain for something to ask her. College? No, she wasn’t going. Her old foster parents? Maybe.

  She broke the silence before I could. “Well, this is fun.” Her nervous laugh seemed so out of place.

  “Yeah,” I muttered, wondering why the hell I felt uneasy.

  She looked at me, her eyes serious. “So I’ve finally lost you, haven’t I?”

  I swallowed, not knowing exactly what she meant but definitely noticing the difference.

  “Never,” I said thoughtfully. “I’m always your friend.”

  “But I’m not the only woman you love anymore.”

  I dropped my eyes, my lips curling on a hidden smile. I did love Cameron. She was the only girl I’d really talked to. But while we were very much the same, my heart never held her close. She was a friend. Someone I could trust and someone who would stand up for me.

  But after she’d leave for the night, I didn’t think about her, and I didn’t count the minutes until I could see her again.

  She stood up straight, shrugging. “I know it’s not like that with us. Not love-love, per se,” she clarified. “But we were each other’s firsts. No matter who I hooked up with, you were always ten times more important.”

  I flattened m
y lips, feeling guilty that it was different for me.

  We’d both lost our virginity long before we met each other, but we always considered each other our real first.

  Since our first sexual experiences weren’t something we wanted to remember.

  We were there for each other, and I loved her.

  But there was a girl who was more important for me, and it had been that way for a long time. A very long time.

  She continued. “It never even occurred to me that it would be hard when you finally replaced me in your heart.”

  I looked down to the track, seeing Juliet sitting on the bleachers with Shane, Fallon, and … One Direction.

  I blew out a breath. “I have no heart. You know that.”

  She shook her head, tears pooling. “You suck,” she joked.

  “Why?” I grinned. “Because I’m letting another girl have some summer fun with me?”

  “No,” she blurted out. “Because you’re keeping her to yourself.”

  My chest shook with laughter as I yanked her in by the neck and kissed her forehead. Her blond hair, hanging in a high ponytail, smelled like overripe strawberries. I glanced down at Juliet, thinking of her hair that smelled like a crisp fall morning.

  And she was looking up at me.

  Shit.

  Her eyes were narrowed as she rested her elbows on her knees and watched me with my arm around Cameron.

  I sighed, pulling away. “I’ll see you, okay?”

  I left Cameron and climbed down the ladder, facing forward as I jumped the last five steps to the ground.

  Girls liked to make a mountain out of a molehill, so now I had to go put out the damn fire she’d no doubt started in her head.

  As I approached the bleachers—where she sat two rows up—I noticed Shane sitting next to her, talking to friends on her other side, while Madoc, Fallon, and Adam stood up, talking to a group of people.

  She saw me and looked away, straightening her back. I set my foot on the bottom bleacher and leaned in next to her face.

  “Don’t,” I cautioned, looking in her eyes.

  She dropped her chin, looking almost sad. God, I wanted to wrap my arms around her.

  “Don’t what?” she mumbled.

  “Don’t be jealous.”

  “I’m not,” she maintained, looking defiant.

  I nearly whispered. “Three years ago, I laid eyes on you for the first time,” I said, “and every time I’ve looked at another girl since then, I’ve compared her to you. Every time.”

  She raised her eyes hesitantly.

  I gave a half smile. “Your big green eyes that give away everything you’re feeling. Your pouty little mouth that tells me when you’re happy or pissed.” I leaned in, close to her lips. “And your tight little body that I finally got my fucking hands on after years of waiting for you.”

  Her throat moved up and down as she listened.

  “I have lots of energy for you, Juliet—only you—so don’t go imagining shit that’s not true.”

  No more bullshit. I always knew what I wanted, and I never failed at getting it. I had an appetite for a lot, but when I found my niche, I knew it. Lacrosse, computers, the Loop …

  And Juliet. She was my niche, too.

  When her lips pursed against a smile she desperately tried to hold back, I knew she’d relaxed.

  “Keep your eyes open,” I whispered.

  A confused look crossed her face right before I dived in, caught her lips in mine, and kissed her deep and soft. My tongue flicked over hers, owning her mouth. She was helpless against me, and I was absolutely fine with that.

  I pulled away to nuzzle in her ear. “You drive me crazy.”

  She shivered, breathing hard. “Good.”

  I smiled, continuing to trail my lips over her jaw.

  “Jax.” I heard Madoc’s voice off to the side. “Adam’s going to race me in his 370Z, okay?”

  I stopped, my lips hovering over Juliet’s skin.

  Standing up, I turned and saw all three of them looking at me and waiting. “What’s the point of that?” I scoffed.

  Madoc’s face fell, and I saw the eyebrow shoot up as he realized I was insulting his friend’s car. A GTO against a 370Z? He knew better.

  “Juliet?” Madoc averted his eyes to her, ignoring me. “It’s a couple’s race. You want to ride with him?”

  I turned around completely, facing him. “Enough already,” I growled low. “I’m sick of your bullshit.”

  Everyone clammed up, and I struggled between feeling bad that I was getting pissy with my friends, feeling shitty that I was determining for Juliet what she would and would not be doing, and being angry that every time I felt fucking high on life, someone or something messed with it.

  Adam stepped forward. “If I’m supposed to have a girl in the car—”

  “You can have a guy, too,” I shot back. “Love is love. We don’t discriminate.”

  Fallon snorted, and Madoc scowled down at her.

  I bit back my smile, locking eyes with Madoc. “She’s not going.”

  I heard Juliet clearing her throat behind me, but I ignored it. Would she be okay with me taking another girl for a drive?

  Madoc held out his hands. “Shane won’t do it. I asked,” he explained. “I’m honestly not trying to get under your skin, okay?”

  “Relax.” Adam stepped forward, and I folded my arms over my chest. “It’s obvious Madoc set me up with a girl who’s already taken. I’ll keep my hands off. I promise.”

  “That’s right.” I nodded. “Because she won’t be in the car. You’re not a screened driver, and she could get hurt. You want to mess up your ride. Go ahead. But not with her in it.”

  “Jax,” Juliet said under her breath behind me, and I could tell she was trying to rein me in.

  Yeah, no.

  Fallon spoke up. “So, how about Madoc takes K.C….” She paused, shaking her head clear. “Juliet, I mean—and I’ll go with Adam.”

  “No,” Madoc maintained. “This is supposed to be you and me riding together.”

  Fallon pulled her hair up in a ponytail. “Baby, if this is the only way, he’ll let her—”

  “I’ll go,” Juliet groaned, climbing down from the bleachers. “I’ll go with Adam.”

  I dropped my arms, staring down at her like a warning.

  She cut me off before I started. “Just be quiet for a minute. It’s a three-minute race.” She peered up at me, handling me. “Let Madoc have his fun and calm down. The guy’s car is pretty intense. I’m sure he knows how to handle it.”

  I steeled my jaw, not liking her talking about his ride. “You’re trying to make me feel better, right?” I joked. “I mean, that is your goal? Because it’s not working.”

  She laughed into my chest. “You’re not jealous, are you?”

  “He can go alone,” I said, annoyed. “I make the rules, and I choose when to break them.”

  “You’re being silly.” She started to back away toward the cars. “Especially when you’re the one I might let take me home tonight,” she teased.

  “Might?” I shot out. “I really don’t like you sometimes.”

  “I don’t like you, either,” she singsonged, walking toward Adam’s car.

  “Shit,” I breathed out, raking a hand through my hair and watching her head to Adam’s car. Was I being silly?

  He wouldn’t touch her if he knew what was good for him, and she wouldn’t let him. I trusted that.

  And I’d be absolutely fine with Jared or Madoc driving with her. It wasn’t that I never wanted her to be on the track.

  No, I was simply worried he’d get her hurt. I didn’t know him or his driving, and I was real damn unhappy about this.

  Both cars roared to life, filling the air with the whir of Adam’s high-pitched 3.7-liter engine and the heavy rumble of Madoc’s 6.0 LS2. I didn’t breathe as I watched Juliet buckle herself in, her black-and-white feather earrings dangling against her neck.

  I breathed out a s
igh, heading back down the track. I swung myself around the stairs and jogged up to where Zack already stood, ready to announce the next race. Both cars traveled slowly down the track, coming to a stop below us, revving their engines.

  “We need to meet this week,” Zack said to me as he inspected the scene below. “I want to talk about your plans to expand to street racing. I’m concerned.”

  I gripped the railing, watching every movement of Adam’s ride. “Not now.” I shook my head. “That’s at least a year out. We’ll talk later.”

  The crowd cheered, welcoming one of their favorite sons home. So many people remembered Madoc, and everyone flooded the night with noise. The crowd at the Loop used to be mainly high school students, but now it was more eclectic, and since it was summer, a lot of our high school friends were here.

  “Announce it,” I said to Zack. “Madoc Caruthers and Adam One Direction.”

  He laughed under his breath. “This is an odd matchup.”

  I nodded, knowing it wasn’t really a race. Madoc had to know he was going to win.

  Zack leaned on the railing, microphone in hand, booming voice hitting the crowd. “I know you all remember him!” he taunted, and the crowd cheered.

  “If you don’t, then I know you’ve heard of him!” Zack’s deep voice echoed through the night air, and they shouted louder.

  People held up their cups and cans, howling over the track. The GTO shook as it revved, while the 370Z’s high-pitched hum matched it, both drowning out any coherent thought in my head.

  “Give it up for Madoc and Fallon Caruthers,” he sang out, going long, “going up against K. C. Carter and Adam One Direction!” he yelled.

  The sea of spectators cheered, holding up their phones and iPads, probably taking either pictures or video. Since the couples’ races were only once around the paved track, we never installed GoPros. No reason to dumb down the audience. They had a perfect view anyway, so it worked.

  “Come on,” I nudged. “Get this over with.”

  He walked around me to my other side, lining up with the starting line. “Ready!” he shouted, and the stoplight stayed on red. “Set!” And the stoplight switched to yellow, the engines revving over and over again as the crowd went wild. “Go!” he roared, and my heart leaped into my throat as both cars saw the light change to green and spun their tires, trying to take off so quickly.