Falling Away

by Penelope Douglas

  Joan’s guitars kept my blood boiling, and my muscles were pumped. I sang along, suddenly very fucking hungry for pizza.

  “ ‘I hate myself for loving you,’ ” I sang, bobbing my head.

  I grabbed my long-sleeved, loose black silk top. High collar in the front, but draped low in the back, showing off ample skin.

  If I was going to tell him to screw off, at least I wanted to look hot doing it.

  I dropped my shorts, and then I unclipped the skirt from the hanger.

  The drums vibrated in my chest as I stepped into the miniskirt and slid it up my legs. “ ‘Can’t break free from the things that you do.’ ”

  But just then a shadow fell over me.

  I gasped, looked up, and jerked the zipper up, staring wide-eyed at Jax.

  Shit.

  He had both hands pressed against the doorframe, leaning in slightly, and cocking his head at me like a challenge.

  His eyes were like fire, and his jaw was hard. I swallowed and held his eyes, but the combination of his silence and stare had me so jacked up I wanted to scream.

  Say something!

  “Fuck off,” I choked out.

  Then he rushed me, grabbing my face with one hand, my waist with the other, and sank his lips into mine.

  “No,” I cried into his mouth.

  But it was useless.

  I immediately took his face in my hands and held his lips tight with mine as he hoisted me up and guided my legs around his body.

  His arm was like a steel band around me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and tightened my thighs around him, unable to get fucking close enough to him.

  His lips were everywhere, moving fast and hard, and we groaned, filling the small space with our heavy breaths and moans.

  He tore his lips away, and I let my head fall back as he dived for my neck, licking, kissing, and biting a trail up to my ear.

  “Holy shit,” I panted.

  His hard shoulders flexed under my fingers, and the next thing I knew I was spinning around in his arms and entering the light of the bedroom as his heavy footsteps pounded on the hardwood floors.

  “Fuck,” he growled, and dropped me to the bed, falling on top of me.

  I moaned, diving for his lips again, so damn hungry for the taste of him. “You’re an asshole,” I breathed out in between kisses.

  “I know.” His lips curled, and he reached down between us, unfastening his belt.

  I twisted my lips away, and reaching up, I put my hands on both sides of his face, forcing his eyes on me. “Don’t you ever ignore me for five days again,” I gritted out.

  He ripped through the button on his pants, tore down the zipper, and freed his cock, seating himself between my legs.

  “Never again,” he promised, looking down at me with fire in his eyes as he tore the condom from its wrapper and rolled it on. “You’ve owned me since I was seventeen.” And he slid his greedy hand under my ass, held me tight, and thrust his cock inside me, spearing me.

  “Ah,” I sucked in a hard breath, throwing my head back.

  “God, baby … I missed you.” He squeezed his eyes shut, and I released my grip on his face, taking his neck instead and bringing him down to my mouth.

  “Always wet for you,” I whispered into his mouth.

  He thrust hard, fucking me fast and rough. Just the way I wanted it from him. We both moaned loud, not caring that there were probably people downstairs.

  He was mine, and I was his, and the next time the little shit threw his temper around or shut down on me, I was going to either push him harder or pull away for good.

  Push and pull.

  Give and take.

  Accelerate. Release.

  Jax’s finger traced the lines of my profile, gliding over my nose and brushing down my lips. I let out a blissful sigh.

  I loved to be touched. With kindness, that is. And it felt so good that I wanted to close my eyes, but I couldn’t. I’d waited years to just be able to look at him, without fear of him seeing me, and now I couldn’t get enough.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he said, lying next to me with his head propped up on an elbow.

  I reached up to touch him, too, but halted and jerked my head toward the door, hearing Tate’s squeal from downstairs.

  “He’s here!” she shouted, and I grinned, turning back to Jax.

  “Guess that means Jared’s home.”

  Jax let out a sigh next to me. “Oh, joy.”

  I rubbed the tip of my nose on his. “What’s going on with you two?” I asked, concerned.

  He kissed me softly on the lips. “Nothing,” he whispered. “He just likes to get on my ass like you.”

  I laughed. “Hopefully not just like me,” I joked.

  Sitting up, I grabbed my brush off the nightstand and fixed my hair. “Jax?” I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly dry.

  “Yeah.” He sat up, dipping his head into my neck.

  Tingles spread like a swarm of butterflies under my skin, and I pushed him away, smiling.

  “I overheard your call with him the day you gave me driving lessons,” I confessed. “Your father is getting out of jail soon?”

  Jax leaned back on his hands, looking down. “Maybe.” He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

  I rose off the bed and straightened my skirt.

  “I want to, Jax,” I said. “I mean,” I rushed to add, “I don’t want to worry, but I want to know about you. I want you to tell me things.”

  “Jax! Get your ass down here!”

  We both jumped at Madoc’s bellow, and I let out a nervous laugh. The king of bad timing.

  I leaned down, cupping his face.

  And once I was staring into those blue eyes, I couldn’t stop. I kissed his forehead, then his nose, and when he closed his eyes, I kissed those, too.

  “I like you,” I admitted. A lot. “I want to know you.”

  He pulled me down into his lap and wrapped his arms around me as my feet dangled above the floor. I closed my eyes, feeling his light fingers brush my hair over my shoulder and kiss the sore skin on the back of my neck.

  He knew I had a tattoo. Fuckin’ Tate.

  “All you need to know,” he whispered in my ear, “is that there’s still shit that bleeds when you’re not around.”

  My throat tightened.

  He continued. “Do what you want with me, Juliet. Just don’t leave. Not yet.”

  I narrowed my eyes, the sting at his words causing me to blink.

  Not yet?

  “Leave?” I repeated. “You piss me off, you make me cry, you make me crazy … but you make me better, Jax.”

  “And you make me happier,” he finished, and I got lost in his eyes.

  The shadow of the tree’s leaves outside swayed across his face, and I smiled, hearing thunder rumble. The room dimmed with the loss of sunlight.

  “Now!” a bellow came from downstairs, and we both shot up, knowing it was Jared this time.

  Jax gave me a quick kiss and jetted out the door while I swiped Tate’s comforter off her bed and tossed it in the corner to be washed later, just in case.

  Powering down the stairs, I smoothed my blouse, skirt, and hair as I walked into the living room.

  “Hey.” Jared was turning and pulling his arms from around Tate to walk to his brother. “Jesus, look at you.” He smiled, grabbing Jax’s neck and looking over his hair and clothes.

  “Glad you’re home,” Jax said, and they pulled each other in for a hug.

  “I missed you,” I heard Jared say quietly as Madman yelped and circled his feet.

  “Yeah, me, too.”

  Looking at Jared and Jax together, you would think you could see the brotherly resemblance. You couldn’t. The only thing they shared was charisma. You know? That invisible power some people possess that draws others to them? Both of the Trents had it.

  But that was where the similarities ended.

  Jared looked like his mother. Chocolate brown hair, now buzzed c
lose to the scalp on the back and sides and cropped short on the top for the military. Deep brown eyes. Coloring similar to my own. He was slightly shorter than Jax, maybe an inch, but his build was just as big. He’d put on a lot of muscle since the last time I saw him.

  I’d never seen pictures of their father or Jax’s mother, so I didn’t know who Jax took after, but I did know that Jax was part Native American, which accounted for his darker skin and hair.

  And in personality, they were very different. Both were volatile. Both could be angry. But whereas Jared raged, Jax waited. Where Jared charged, Jax assessed. Very different.

  I couldn’t help wondering about the man who fathered them both.

  Everyone sat or stood in the living room—Tate by the fireplace, Madoc and Fallon curled up on the couch, and Jared and Jax standing in the middle.

  And me, trying to melt into the carpet, feeling intimidated all of a sudden.

  Jared always treated me somewhat decent, but he also looked at me as if I were the five-year-old at the big kids’ table. Better seen than heard.

  And as I stood there, trying to find a comfortable place to rest my eyes and wondering what the hell to do with my hands, I realized that I was not my mother’s daughter anymore. I was not the hair in the soup, the fly in the ointment, or the stain on the sheets. I might not be Jared Trent’s favorite person, but he certainly wasn’t mine, either. It was past time that I stopped wondering if I was good enough for others and started wondering if they were good enough for me.

  I dropped my hands and stepped up next to Jax.

  He immediately looked down at me, smiled, and put his arm around my shoulder, tucking me in.

  Jared stopped talking. As he glanced between Jax and me, his deep brown eyes narrowed, and I saw the wheels start to turn. Jax and I were silent as Jared’s eyes went from confused to sudden realization.

  “Trust me,” I shot out before he had a chance to speak. “I’ve got his back. I promise.”

  Jared looked stunned, his eyebrows shooting up, and then he finally just shook his head, blinking. “Okay, then.”

  And that was it. Jax squeezed me tighter, and Jared went back to Tate, where their hands were all over each other.

  “Okay, shower up!” Madoc urged, looking at Jared. “Pizza. I’m hungry.”

  But Jared shook his head. “No way.”

  “Huh?” Madoc asked.

  Jared dropped his arms from Tate and started unbuttoning his camouflage utility jacket. “Look, everyone.” He spoke to all of us. “I love you, but you have to go.”

  Everyone just stood or sat there.

  “I haven’t seen Tate in weeks. We need alone time. Sorry.” Jared tossed his jacket on the chair, leaving him in his camo pants and T-shirt.

  “Jared?” Tate complained, blushing with embarrassment.

  But he shot her a warning look. “It’s been weeks, babe.”

  She straightened, and I almost laughed as her expression changed. “Yeah, okay.” She clapped her hands, ushering everyone to the front door. “Everyone out. We need to be alone.”

  “For how long?” Madoc protested, standing up with Fallon.

  “Like three days,” Jared said.

  “Three days!” Madoc shot back.

  Fallon pulled him toward the door. “Let’s go, Madoc.”

  He grumbled, and I laughed to myself as Jax took my hand, leading me out. The door slammed behind us, and the four of us filtered down the steps toward the cars.

  “Seriously?” Madoc was practically whining now. “You guys are coming, right?”

  Jax patted his pant legs. “Shit,” he cursed, turning back around. “I left my phone on the coffee table.”

  “I’ll get it.” I held my hand up to stop him. “I forgot my purse, too.”

  I darted back up the stairs and quietly slipped back through the front door, hoping to God they weren’t already naked.

  The foyer was empty, and I crept on tiptoe into the living room to grab my bag off the couch and Jax’s phone off the coffee table.

  I heard Jared’s deep but muffled voice. “I missed you like crazy. God, baby. I love you.”

  Kisses, shuffling, moans … yeah. I slipped my bag over my head and prepared to make a quick exit.

  “Me, too.” Tate was crying. “I hate this so much, Jared. How are we going to be okay for months with you away if it’s like this after only a few weeks?”

  I stopped, knowing they were in the kitchen, just on the other side of the door, and my eyes teared up for her. As much of a pain in the ass as Jared was, I knew he adored Tate. He’d invade hell for her. And yet with all of my own ups and downs, I hadn’t noticed that she was unhappy. I’d never thought they wouldn’t be okay, and I’d been so buried under my own bullshit that I wasn’t there for her.

  I heard a thud and more groans. “It’s thundering,” Jared said to her.

  I heard her sniffle, then laugh. “You thinking what I’m thinking?”

  “Chaise longue?” His voice turned cocky. “Backyard? Just like our first time.”

  And then I bit my bottom lip to stifle a laugh as she squealed and they opened and closed the back door, gone in a flash.

  Poor Tate. Well, not poor Tate. She was titanium. But she was missing him. Terribly.

  I walked for the door but stopped, hearing an unfamiliar voice.

  “Hello?” A male’s voice, distant yet deep and calm, got my heart racing with fear.

  Creepy.

  And I jumped, suddenly remembering the phone in my hand. I brought it up to my ear.

  “Hello?” I answered back.

  “And who is this?” the smooth, light voice asked.

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” I shook my head at myself. “I must’ve accidentally answered. You’re looking for Jax? Hang on.” And I opened the door and stepped out onto the porch.

  “And you are?” the man asked.

  “Oh, Juliet,” I answered. “I’m a …” I hesitated, thinking. “A friend of his, I guess.”

  “Mmm, Juliet. Pretty name. I’m his father.”

  I stopped, my face falling.

  “Tell me,” he started, “how many times a day does he fuck you?”

  My eyes widened. Oh, my God.

  My lips quivered as I stared at Jax across the lawn talking to Madoc and Fallon.

  Jax.

  “Women love him, you know? Such energy,” his father’s silk voice taunted. “You can’t count the amount of cunt that boy can go through.”

  My mouth was like a desert, and I clutched the phone, afraid my shaky hands would drop it.

  “And I’m guessing,” his father continued, “that since you’re answering his phone, your pussy must taste pretty damn sweet for him to let you stick around.”

  My eyes blurred. “What the hell is the matter with you?” I choked out.

  “I’m enlightening you, sweetheart,” he said, his voice turning rigid. “He won’t keep you. Not for long. You can count on that.”

  Jax looked over at me, his smile disappearing the moment he saw me.

  “Has he told you about the basement yet? The knife he carries? His bitch mother that abandoned him to foster care when he was an infant?”

  I swallowed, seeing Jax start to walk over to me. How could a father talk this way about his son?

  “If he hasn’t let you inside his head, then he’s not yours, Juliet.”

  Jax held my eyes, his expression turning more worried the closer he got.

  “He doesn’t trust you enough,” his father warned.

  I sucked in a breath, tears pooling as I handed the phone to Jax. “Your father.”

  His blue eyes turned to ice, and he grabbed the phone. “What did you say to her?” he growled into the phone. “Hello?” He tightened his lips and gritted his teeth. “Hello?”

  “Fuck!” he yelled, staring at the phone.

  I wiped the tears, only wanting one thing from Jax.

  He had to talk to me. About everything.

  His back was t
o me, but I saw him run his hand through his hair.

  “Jax?”

  He shook his head, turning around. “Juliet, I’m sorry. My father is …” He trailed off, looking as though he was at a loss for words. “My father is evil. Whatever he said to you is bullshit. He can’t do anything. He can’t hurt you.”

  “He didn’t threaten me. He talked about you.”

  “He hasn’t seen me since I was thirteen,” Jax gritted out, getting angrier. “He knows nothing. He’s just talking.”

  I tipped my chin up. “I want to know.”

  “What?”

  “Everything!” I held Jax’s hard stare as Madoc’s GTO started and pulled away.

  Jax looked at me as if I were the enemy, as if I were the one who was hurting him. He shook his head, defiant, and turned to walk off.

  “Stop!” I ordered as he stepped off the porch and made his way home.

  I stomped after him. “What about my community service? You can start there.”

  “What about it?” he barked over his shoulder.

  “You fixed it, didn’t you?” I accused. “To get me back to town. To get me the position in school. How did you know? How did you know about my trouble?”

  He didn’t answer me. He didn’t even look at me. He walked through his front door, and I followed him as he headed for the stairs.

  “Answer me!” I cried, slamming the door shut and stopping at the bottom of the stairs. “How did you know?”

  He spun around, his face twisted in anger. “Because I know everything that happens with you.”

  CHAPTER 20

  JAXON

  I descended the stairs, stopping just one up from the bottom, and loomed over her.

  “The speeding ticket your freshman year at college that magically disappeared?” I hinted and continued. “The finite math test you were unprepared for that coincidentally got delayed because the sprinklers went off?”

  I could see the wheels turning in her head.

  “All the books reserved for you at the library to research Oliver Cromwell’s England? The bookstore job that just landed in your lap when your mother cut off your credit card for switching your minor to creative writing?”