Falling Away

by Penelope Douglas

  But I sucked in air, trying to calm down.

  I hadn’t made love to her properly yet. In a bed. But fuck … She was irresistible on this chair, moving on top of me, her skin against mine.

  She’d moved her hands, holding them clasped under her chin, keeping her arms up to cover her breasts. When I brought my hands around to open her up, she tore away from the kiss, shaking her head. “Mmm, nope. Sorry,” she insisted. “You have to do the dishes.”

  Huh?

  She pried herself free from my grasp and stood up, still holding her arms over her chest for modesty’s sake.

  I pinched my eyebrows together in disbelief. “Dishes?”

  She nodded, biting back a smile. “Dishes,” she repeated, and turned to walk out of the kitchen.

  Her round little ass had my handprints on it, and I shifted, in pain, at that lacy black thong I wanted to rip off her.

  “I pay someone to do the dishes,” I growled.

  She stopped in the doorway, peering back at me with humor in her eyes. “I cooked. You clean. Fair’s fair. I’ll be upstairs.”

  She left the room.

  And I had never cleaned anything so fucking fast in my entire life.

  CHAPTER 21

  JULIET

  Jax had turned on me.

  He’d morphed into a loose cannon, and I saw the same fierce temper I’d seen on Jared. The same temper I’d seen on my father. But strangely, neither of them had come to mind.

  The moment he pulled the knife, all I thought about was how to get him back. I didn’t think about running. I was scared for him, not of him.

  All I saw was Jax. What had happened to him, and how was I going to catch him when he fell?

  I walked up the stairs, smiling at the sound of dishes clanking and a pan crashing to the floor.

  Someone was in a rush.

  I liked him. Man, did I like him!

  I remembered Tate’s dad sitting both of us down to talk about the birds and bees. We were fourteen or fifteen, and someone at school had taught us what a blow job was. Mr. Brandt deemed it high time to give us the talk, even though I wasn’t his daughter and it wasn’t his call to educate me. He’d said when my mother emerged from 1958 she could come and kick his butt. Until then …

  Anyway, he gave us three irrefutible pieces of advice about the male species:

  1. Boys will lie, cheat, and steal to get into your pants. A man will stand the test of time. Make him wait, and you’ll see which one he is.

  2. They will try to tell you that it feels better without a condom. You just tell me where they live.

  3. And relationships are supposed to make your life better. You don’t drag each other down. You hold each other up.

  When we’re little, we think true love is Romeo and Juliet, together in life or together in death. They couldn’t stand not to have each other, and when you’re young it’s romantic to think of suicide as the answer. Better not to live at all, etc.

  When you grow up, you realize that that’s bullshit. I mean, who really wins there, right?

  Jax was happy to see me happy. I didn’t need him to survive, but I liked him. He made my life better. Happier. He also challenged me to grow.

  Coming to the second floor and turning for his bedroom, I glanced behind me, noticing the padlock on the office door.

  I walked into his bedroom, still uneasy about everything he’d done in my life without my knowledge. And everything he was doing. He was mistaken if he thought he was going to continue to keep an eye on me.

  And the people who’d hurt him and what he’d done to them? I knew I should be nervous or even scared that he was capable of violence, but I knew he didn’t rush to react. The only thing I was worried about was how far Jax had to be pushed to do it. And would he do it again if he were pushed hard enough?

  I didn’t fear being on the receiving end, but I didn’t want to worry about him in trouble, either.

  I stopped in the middle of the bedroom, taking a minute to look at my surroundings. The only other time I’d been in here was the night he’d gotten in the fight on the front lawn. It had been dark and I hadn’t wasted time exploring. Now, as I looked around, my eyes fluttered at the warmth pooling in my stomach and farther down.

  His bedroom.

  Everything was dark. I loved how the cherrywood furniture made the black bedding and curtains seem warm. And with the drapes drawn and a small lamp lighting the desk in the corner, the whole room glowed like an old chapel, lush and elegant with its carved furniture but cozy and secluded as if it were some room lost in the middle of a thousand other rooms buried deep in a mansion, never to be discovered.

  I felt as though if we closed the door, I’d never want to leave. I’d never want to be found.

  Jax had a king-size bed, and I instantly sucked in a breath at the thoughts of him. There. With me. For hours.

  Running my hand down his dresser, I savored the cool, smooth wood beneath my fingertips, reminding me of him. His skin, so fluid but so hard under my fingers, and I closed my eyes as the desire swamped me.

  My chest rose and fell hard, and I reached up, running a hand over one of my breasts. My core started pulsating, and I touched the hard flesh of my nipple.

  Jax.

  Warmth hit my back, and I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off.

  “Don’t open your eyes.”

  I could hear the smile in his voice.

  He was behind me, his breath warm on my neck. His musk scent made me want to bury my nose in his skin and crush my chest to his. I kept my hand on my breast, but my head started floating away from me.

  “I’d rather be touching you.” I smiled, keeping my eyes closed.

  “You still like me?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Good,” he replied calmly. “I like you, too.”

  “I know.”

  I felt his laugh on my shoulder and leaned my head back against him as I reached behind me and took his hands, placing them on my breasts.

  He instantly cupped them and started moving them in circles.

  “You’re so incredible,” he said, nipping at my earlobe. “I look at you, and I can’t think about anything else beyond having you.”

  And he took a hand off my breast and grabbed hold between my legs.

  “Oh, my God,” I groaned, excited at the possessive feel of his hand there. Touching me. Taking it. “Jax,” I gasped.

  “Fucking mine,” he whispered in my ear.

  “Yes.” I licked my dry lips, panting.

  His hand got more demanding, urging my whole body backward flush with his as he rubbed me hard and kneaded my breast.

  “I have lots of fantasies about you, Juliet.”

  I heard the edge to his voice. The one that told me he was trying not to lose control.

  “Lots of different ways I want to see your body move,” he said. “And I want to do lots of it tonight.”

  It sounded like a warning. A warning I was definitely going to ignore.

  I opened my eyes, seeing his head bowed down next to mine, staring at me with that fucking intensity as if I were his favorite toy.

  His hands moved behind me, and the next thing I knew he’d unfastened his belt and yanked it free of the loops of his pants, startling me as it whipped through the air.

  I laughed nervously.

  “You okay?” he taunted, still holding the belt at his side.

  I nodded, speaking softly. “That, um … it makes me …”

  “What?”

  I shifted my eyes, searching for the word. “A little excited?” I confessed.

  His amused eyes narrowed. “She likes belts,” he said to himself. “Duly noted.”

  My faced warmed, embarrassed, but I arched an eyebrow.

  “We’re going to need water,” I advised. “I have my own fantasies, too, so hydrate.”

  Pulling out of his grasp, I took him by the hand and led him to the bed. Sitting on the end with my feet on the floor, I put my hands on his
hips, holding him in place in front of me and dropping my head back slowly to look up at him.

  “Jax?” I whispered, smiling a small, playful smile. “I want to show you how good I can move.” I nipped soft and slow at the button of his pants. “I want you in my mouth.” I licked my lips, looking up at him and rubbing my cheek against his pants. “I want to taste you.” And I slipped my tongue out, licking his pants with the tip, watching his eyes flare and turn intense. “I want you down my throat.” I bared my teeth, nipping at the bulge in his pants. “I want you everywhere.”

  He clasped my pigtails at the back of my head, and I continued to rub him with my face and lips, feeling him grow thick and hard through his pants.

  I loved watching him watch me. His abs flexing, his thick biceps tightening, his nipple rings gleaming at me, and even though I wanted that body all over me, I loved this view. I could appreciate his beauty, touch him where I wanted, make him feel good …

  And that was what I wanted. I wanted to know that I made him feel good.

  Moving slowly, I unfastened his pants and slid my fingers under the waistband, gently pulling down his clothes.

  I could feel my eyes widen, seeing his erection spring free, standing hard, full, and ready for me.

  I knew it was long. I’d felt him through his pants before. But the thickness kind of shocked me.

  He wasn’t my first—even though I wished he had been—but I couldn’t say it was fair to compare him to Liam, either. Jax felt so much better. They were on different planets.

  He started running his fingers back and forth in my hair, and I looked up at him and wetted my lips.

  “I want it.” I darted out my tongue and licked his tip. Again and again, so slow, enjoying the hot taste of him.

  His head dropped back. “Oh, fuck, Juliet,” he murmured, gripping my pigtails tighter. “More.”

  I took him in my hand, running my palm up and down his shaft as I sucked his tip into my mouth, getting him wet.

  And then I dived down, taking him to the back of my throat and holding his hips.

  I held him there, trying to ease down and take it all. I wanted him to love this, and I wanted to give it to him. It was almost funny. I never liked doing this for Liam, because it had felt like an obligation. I wanted to keep him, so when my heart wasn’t in it, he could tell.

  But I really wanted to do this for Jax.

  I moaned, already so wet from just the idea of him in my mouth, filling me up thick and hard.

  I worked him up and down, taking him in slowly, knowing that if I eased into it, I could take him all the way, and then back out, running my tongue back and forth on the underside of him.

  “Baby, you feel so good,” I groaned, licking him from base to tip, and then taking him back into my mouth.

  “Juliet,” he gasped, his faced pinched as I started bobbing up and down on him faster and faster. “What are you doing to me?”

  His hands stroked my face, and I looked up, locking eyes with him. Dragging my lips slowly off his cock, I teased the tip with my tongue, holding his gaze as I licked, kissed, sucked, and nipped.

  And when I lifted up his cock and sucked the flesh underneath into my mouth, he cried out.

  “Fuck, baby,” he exclaimed, pulling away from me and looking at me as if I had done something wrong.

  “Wh … ,” I choked out. “Wh-what’s wrong?” My clit was throbbing so hard, and I groaned, rubbing my thighs together.

  What the hell?

  “Nothing’s wrong,” he barked, yanking his clothes completely off and standing there erect and ready.

  I stood up. “Then why did you stop me?”

  He pulled me into him, crushing our bodies together and growling with his mouth an inch from my lips. “Because I don’t want to come that way yet. I wanted to make love to you in a bed tonight. Slowly,” he said, holding me firm.

  “You liked it, didn’t you?” I pressed.

  “But you got me too excited,” he complained. “You’re fucking with my plans.”

  He snatched up my lips, and I arched up on my tiptoes to meet his mouth head-on. His strong arms wrapped around me tightly, and before I could control it, I started rolling my hips into his erection that had slipped between my thighs.

  “Oh, God,” I breathed out, the tease of him there making me shiver. “I can’t wait, Jax. Please,” I begged.

  He pulled his mouth away, looked down at me, scowling with his sweaty hair sticking up in all directions and his fire blue eyes looking at me like the calm before the storm.

  His hand dipped under the string of my thong at my waist, and my heart jumped when he yanked, ripping the material clean away from my body.

  The pathetic black lace scrap fell to the floor, and I had enough time to wrap my arms around his neck before he picked me up and started carrying me for the bed.

  We crashed down onto the mattress, and he wasted no time in nestling himself between my thighs and sinking his lips into mine. His hands were everywhere as he leaned over me, keeping his chest just a few inches above me.

  “I love to look at you,” he whispered between kisses, grazing a hand over my nipple and down to my stomach.

  I lifted my head off the mattress. “I want to fucking feel you inside me, Jax.” I squirmed, bending my knees up.

  “Do you?”

  I closed my eyes, trailing kisses up his neck. “Yes.”

  “Tell me what I want to hear,” he demanded, thrusting his hips and making me groan.

  “You’re driving me crazy,” I cried, the rod between his legs relentless where it pressed against me.

  “That’s not what I want to hear.” His teasing voice laughed at me.

  “You’re an asshole?” I ventured, dragging my nails over the soft skin of his ass.

  “No,” he grunted, grabbing my hands and pinning them over my head. “Say it.”

  I smiled, loving how worked up he got. Loving how much he wanted to hear it. And as I looked over his face, falling into him with my heart swelling in my chest, I felt more at home, more safe and more cared for, than ever before in my life.

  I swallowed down the tears in my throat, trying to whisper, but it came out barely audible. “Only. Ever. You. Jaxon Trent.”

  Peace settled in his eyes, and his jaw twitched with a smile.

  Holding my gaze, he reached over and grabbed a condom out of the bedside drawer, ripped it open, and slipped it on. And my eyes fluttered as he positioned himself between my legs and slowly sank into me, inch by agonizing inch.

  The vein in his neck bulged, and I closed my eyes against the onslaught of sensation, feeling him stretch and fill me and then ease back out slowly.

  “Keep your eyes on me,” he ordered.

  Holding himself up on one arm, he reached down to cup my ass with the other and brought me in tight as he sank back into me, hard and deep.

  “Please,” I gasped out. “Again.”

  He slid out, gripped me hard, and dived back in deeper and deeper every time.

  I planted my palms on his chest, rubbing my fingers over his rings, and arching my neck as he drove deep again and again, my back burning from being rubbed against the sheets so hard, but I didn’t care.

  His hips started working faster, shallow thrusts and then a deep one, keeping the same rhythm until I was clenching around his cock, feeling the heat swarming in my belly like a storm.

  Reaching down, I grabbed his hips and then leaned up and took his mouth.

  His lips. God, his fucking lips. I lifted my chest off the bed to wrap my arms around him and held his mouth, not letting go as he fucked me harder and faster.

  I rolled my hips, urging him on as we kissed and tasted each other. Our sweat mixed together, molding his chest to mine, and my clit throbbed at the feeling of his rings against my nipples.

  I tore my mouth away, holding on for dear life. “Fuck me, Jax,” I cried. “God, don’t stop.”

  He growled against my lips, his body working like a demon on mine.
“I haven’t even fucking started.”

  His hips pounded against me, taking me, and I moaned, feeling him sink so deep, hitting that spot again and again.

  “Harder, Jax.” I sucked in air fast and hard, the orgasm building in my womb, and I couldn’t control myself anymore. Throwing myself back down on the bed, I rolled my hips, meeting his thrusts until the orgasm crashed over me, making my center clench and tighten, pulse and throb. I cried out, stilling as he kept fucking me, not stopping or slowing down.

  “Jesus,” I moaned. “I love you.”

  Wait. What?

  I snapped my eyes open, seeing him smiling down at me.

  “I … no … I … I.” Fuck!

  “Don’t worry.” He chuckled. “I don’t trust postorgasmic I love yous.”

  He stopped thrusting, pulled out of me, and got off the bed. I instantly covered myself, confused. But before I had a chance to question him, he pulled me up, picked me up, and guided my legs around his body.

  “What are we doing?” I asked, kissing him.

  “I need to watch you.” He looked so desperate, as if he needed more and more.

  And feeling his hardness rub the sensitive area between my legs was making me needy again.

  He led us to the low lounge chair in the corner of the room. Slight recline on the back and no armrests to get in the way, the dark wooden chair with black cushions looked like something that might sit outside, but it was perfectly at home in his room.

  Sitting down, I took his cue and unlocked my legs from behind him, and straddling him, I hung my legs over his thighs, planting my feet on the floor.

  “Oh.” I let out a nervous laugh, grabbing his face for a kiss. “This is going to feel good.”

  He sat back, looking relaxed and holding my hips. “You’re going to look good, too.”

  I didn’t waste any time.

  Lifting myself up, I held his eyes as I lowered myself back down, taking him back inside me.

  His eyes drifted closed. “How can you still be so tight?”

  “This feels different,” I said, moving up and down, finding a steady pace.