His Lullaby Baby

by Airicka Phoenix

  Parker nodded before the sheriff could answer. “Coroner has him on ice as we speak.”

  “Wallaby!” The sheriff shot him a disapproving glower. “Just take the notes, son.”

  Tips of his ears bright pink, Parker bowed his head over his notepad once more and fell quiet.

  Sheriff Benson turned his attention on Addy once more. “Mr. Montgomery is dead. The coroner confirmed it. His next of kin has been notified.”

  Great, Addy thought miserably. That meant Stanton and Rayna would be coming up to identify and claim the body. That meant the fight Addy was in was about to get ten times worse.

  “Sheriff?” She bit her lip to control the tremor in her voice before speaking again. “What’s going to happen to me and my children?”

  Benson scratched at the salt and pepper scruff along his jaw. The sound overshadowed Parker’s pen scribbling across paper.

  “I won’t know until I talk to the family and do some more investigation, but so far, it looks like self-defense.”

  That gave her no reassurance at all. If anything, him not knowing only made her all the more anxious.

  “Ms. Nixon, can you tell me roughly what time it was when Mr. Montgomery pulled you out of bed?”

  “It was after three,” she murmured.

  “And what time did Mr. McClain get there?”

  “It was after one.”

  Sheriff Benson’s eyebrows lifted. “That’s a little over ten hours of just you and Mr. Montgomery alone and he said nothing?”

  Talking about the abuse she’d suffered, the humiliation and pain she’d been forced to endure at the hands of her husband always shamed her to talk about. Like somehow it had been her fault she hadn’t been strong enough to disobey. No amount of therapy had helped erase that need to never tell anyone just how weak she’d been.

  But she found herself sucking in air and facing the necessity.

  “It was something he used to do when we were together,” she murmured to her fingers. “He’d make me sit and listen as he told me how useless I was and how the only saving grace I had was him. He’d tell me how he needed to protect Sean from me, which was why I wasn’t allowed near my own son unsupervised. Then he’d remind me that I had no one and nowhere to go. That I needed to be grateful.” She lifted her eyes to the two watching her quietly. “He would do that for nights at a time. He would keep me awake until I was begging him to let me sleep. Until I would do anything he wanted for a few hours.” Tears of humiliation burned her eyes, blurring her companions. “And he made sure I felt every moment of it. He made sure he reminded me the whole time that he was stronger than me. He’d wake me up at five in the morning every morning and he would make me sit in that chair and wait until everyone else was up. Then I had to make breakfast. He wasn’t just physically abusive, Sheriff. Those marks have mostly faded. It’s the rest that I will have to carry with me for the rest of my life.” She wiped at her eyes. “So to answer your question, yes, he said plenty, but nothing I hadn’t already heard before.”

  Sheriff Benson shifted in discomfort, his jaw muscles tense. “I understand, but I still need for you to tell me everything he said the best you can remember it.”

  He and Parker were still asking her questions when Toby arrived, duffle bag in hand. He glanced at the two men in the room with her and inclined his head.

  “Sheriff. Deputy.”

  “Mr. McClain.” Sheriff Benson pivoted on his heels to face the newcomer. “We were going to hunt you down after we finished with Ms. Nixon here. We had a couple more question for you, if you got a moment.”

  Toby nodded. He dumped the bag into one of the chairs in the corner and faced the pair. “Sure thing.”

  Parker flipped to the page with the questions and showed the sheriff, who peered over them quickly before focusing on Toby once more.

  “What did Mr. Montgomery say to you when you first arrived on the scene?”

  “Only that he’d been waiting for me.”

  “So, he knew who you were,” the sheriff said.

  Toby nodded. “He said he’d been researching me and my family for weeks, since I did a search on Addy’s missing person’s report.”

  The sheriff slanted Parker a withering glower that had the younger man’s shoulders lifting up to his ears.

  “Which you had an officer do for you, is that correct?” There was a ting of warning in the question.

  Toby nodded without missing a beat. “Parker pulled it up for me.”

  That seemed to satisfy the sheriff. Even Parker sagged a little in relief.

  “You told us in our earlier conversation that you incapacitated him originally, is that correct?” At Toby’s nod, he continued. “But he went for the gun and that’s when you shot him?”

  Again, Toby nodded. “That’s correct.”

  “Why didn’t you pick up the gun after you incapacitated him?”

  “Because Addy was bleeding across the kitchen floor and she was my only concern.”

  The sheriff waited until Parker had jotted that down before giving a slow bob of his head. “All right. I’ll have more questions for you both later. I will also be keeping in touch once I have more information to give. The man I spoke to, a…”

  “Stanton Montgomery, sir,” Parker supplied.

  “Right, Stanton Montgomery, he assured me he’d be down later this evening to ID the body. After that…” He let his words trail off, but the meaning was clear; he’d determine where everyone stood once Stanton had had his say, which left Addy physically nauseous.

  “Sheriff, anything that man says about me, it’s not going to be true,” she murmured.

  Cool, gray eyes fixed on her face for a long moment before he spoke. “Ms. Nixon, I am a very good judge of character. It’s something I pride myself on. I will look over everything very carefully before I make my decision.”

  It was all she could really ask for.

  She watched the two leave the room and turned to Toby. He walked over to the side of her bed and perched at her hip.

  “Hey.”

  It was a task, but she offered him a weak smile. “Hi.”

  He touched her face lightly with bent fingers. “How you feeling?”

  “I kind of want to go home,” she admitted. “I want to sit on the sofa with you and the kids and pretend none of this ever happened.”

  “Willa and Calla are at the house with Lily right now,” he said. “They’re tidying up a bit for your return. Dad, Jared, Uncle Sloan and Damon are finishing up the back porch so it should be done by the time we get there.”

  He didn’t say it, but she knew he meant cleaning up the bloody mess in the kitchen and patching up the bullet holes, no doubt. She couldn’t have been more thankful. The last thing she’d be able to do, one arm or not, was walk into that place and clean away what had happened.

  “That’s really kind of them,” she whispered. “And your mom for taking the kids. You have such an amazing family, Toby.”

  His hand curled around both of the ones she had clenched in her lap. “They’re not doing this for me, Addy. You and the kids are one of us. Maybe not by name … yet, but you’re a McClain.”

  “Are you sure you want that? To be saddled with me and all my baggage forever?”

  “Nothing I want more.”

  The inn smelled of pine floor cleaner, wet paint and sawdust beneath a mouthwatering array of seasoned meat, tangy barbeque sauce and baked potatoes. Music and chatter brimmed and spilled into the hallway. It bounced off the walls and somehow filled the place with a light that seemingly glowed from within the house itself.

  Addy followed the sound into the kitchen and found it packed with every member of the McClain family. The backdoor had been propped open to the late afternoon chill and people kept filing in and out with platters of food and drinks. Trays of corn, salads and roasted meat lined the table and more kept getting added. The only thing missing was the blood. Every inch of the floor had been scrubbed to a shine. Had she not been in a cast
and heavily medicated against the pain, she never would have believed she’d been shot, or that her ex-husband had been killed right there.

  “Addy!” Willa spotted her first. She abandoned her place at the stove where she’d been sautéing mushrooms and rushed forward to engulf Addy in a gingerly hug. “How are you feeling?”

  “Good…” She peered over the other woman’s shoulder at the other faces turning in her direction. “What’s going on?”

  It was Willa’s turn to look perplexed. “A welcome home party.” She paused to roll her eyes. “Kind of.” She chuckled. “We just wanted to be here when you got home. Come.”

  “Willa!” Lily lunged on the pan Willa had abandoned without taking off the flames. “You can’t just walk away from … oh, never mind!”

  Willa grimaced sheepishly. “Sorry!”

  “It’s your own fault, Aunt Lily.” Damon stalked into the kitchen with a steaming pan of ribs. “You should know better than to trust Will in the kitchen.”

  “Oh shush you!” Willa made a passing swat at her husband’s backside.

  “Hey, don’t start something you can’t finish,” he teased and gave her a wink that filled her cheeks with bright pink.

  “You’re horrible.” She mumbled around a badly concealed grin. She turned back to Addy. “Do you want a drink?”

  Addy shook her head. “I would actually like a shower. I smell like blood and hospital. But … where are the children?”

  “Outback.” Cole stomped into the crowd. “Sloan took them riding. Hope that’s okay?”

  “Rosie went with them,” Lily assured her quickly.

  Addy nodded. “No, that’s fine. I’m just going to run up.”

  No one stopped her when she backed out of the room. She made it into the hallway before Toby caught up to her.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, I just wasn’t expecting anyone to be here.”

  “You’ll get used to that. My family likes banding together during the hard times and putting on a BBQ party.”

  Maybe it was the medication dulling her senses, but it took her a long time to grasp exactly what she was feeling. Beneath the drug induced fog and underline pain and exhaustion, she felt sad and there was absolutely no reason for it.

  “Hey, what is it?”

  Addy shook her head. “I don’t know, honestly. I’m just so…” She sucked in a shaky breath and tried to think of the word.

  “Overwhelmed?” he supplied.

  She nodded. “I think so. I just … I’ve never had this. No one had ever cared enough to throw me a welcome home party. When I went into labor with Sean, I went to the hospital with the driver. He stayed outside my room the whole time then he drove me home. No one was waiting for me when I got back. I never saw anyone. I guess I’m just not used to not being alone.”

  “Trust me.” He framed her face between his palms. “Alone doesn’t exist in this family. They’ll be there whether you want them to be or not.”

  She liked that. Deep down, it actually even excited her. But in that moment, all she could think about was getting clean and napping.

  “I need a shower,” she told him.

  “Need help?”

  She did, especially since she wasn’t allowed to get the cast wet.

  He walked her to his room and his bathroom. He helped strip her and turn the water on. But he didn’t let her get in. Instead, he held her naked against him, his hands on her hips. The material of his clothes brushing against bare skin sent shivers along her spine. It hardened her nipples and filled her belly with a familiar inferno of heat that made all thoughts of exhaustion retreat to the back burner of her mind.

  “Shower first,” he murmured, possibly reading the flicker of desire in her eyes. “Then we’re going to have our own celebration.”

  Thrilled by the idea, Addy let herself be helped into the tub. She knelt and let him rinse away the nightmares. All the while, she shut her eyes and let herself get lulled by the soothing massaging of his fingertips. Behind her eyelids, images of Jonathon’s face kept flickering into view. She saw the triumph in his eyes when he’d hauled her out of bed, the arrogance as he forced her into the kitchen and finally, the nothingness that kept creeping into place. But in all that, despite the terror she’d felt when Toby had arrived, the fear that had nearly crippled her at the thought of him bringing the children, she felt oddly numb to it all. Her therapist would no doubt have a fancy term for it, delayed post-traumatic stress disorder or something similar, but she honest to God felt nothing and she knew she should. She’d been in pieces after leaving her life behind. Every knock, every jingle of the phone, every creak at night had her scuttling into the corner like a beaten dog. She’d been a wreck. Now it was just acceptance. Maybe it was because Jonathon was dead and could no longer hurt her or maybe it was just too soon after the incident, but she knew that wasn’t normal.

  Washed, Toby helped her out and toweled her dry.

  “I think I need to call Nia,” she whispered as he was running the towel along her legs. “I think I need to start seeing my group again.”

  Toby straightened and met her gaze. “If that’s what you want.”

  A lump formed in her throat, seemingly out of nowhere and without reason. “I think something’s wrong.”

  The towel was pulled around her tight before she was folded into his chest. “Tell me.”

  She clung to the front of his shirt and breathed in his familiar, comforting smell. “I don’t feel anything. I’m not sad. I’m not happy. I just want to sleep.”

  “That’s probably the medication,” he assured her gently. “That stuff messes with your whole system. Plus, you need to give yourself time to process. A lot happened in a very short amount of time.”

  It was exactly the type of thing Nia would have told her. The grieving process was as long as the recovery process. It all took time and patience.

  “Why don’t you rest for a little while?” he suggested. “I’ll send everyone home and watch the kids until you’re ready to join us.”

  “I can’t ask you to do that—”

  “You’re not. I’m offering. Now, come on. Bed for you.”

  She made no protest as he guided her to the bed and tucked her in. Damp strands were brushed back from her face.

  “I’ll be here when you get up,” he promised quietly.

  “Mommy?” Enormous brown eyes peered down at her from a face surrounded by a straggly mess of hair. “Are you awake?”

  Addy pried open one eye and squinted up at her daughter. “What is it?”

  “It’s morning,” the girl announced. “On a Monday, which means I have to go to daycare. Toby says he’s going to take me and I shouldn’t wake you up, unless you’re awake. Are you awake?”

  A chuckle tickled her chest as she freed her hand from the blanket and stroked the girl’s warm cheeks. “I love you.”

  The girl grinned. “Calla says I’m lovable.”

  “She’s right.” Addy pushed herself up and kissed the end of Hanna’s nose. “Come on. Let’s get you to school.”

  It wasn’t until she was tossing the sheets back and felt the cold tickle of air against bare skin that she remembered she’d fallen asleep in nothing but a towel, a towel that had bunched around her waist. She yanked the sheets back up to her chin.

  “You go on. I’m going to get dressed.”

  Unfazed, Hanna scrambled off the bed and hurried from the room. No sooner had she disappeared from sight when Toby appeared.

  “I told her not to wake you.”

  Chuckling, she eased out of bed and straightened the towel the best she could with one functioning arm. “It’s fine. I should be up anyway. Can you help me with my clothes?”

  It was a task trying to get through breakfast with only one hand, her left hand at that. Being right handed, the whole relearning process was infuriating. The only blessing was Toby and the fact that Sean could get himself ready. Between the two of them, Hanna was dressed, fed and ready to
get packed into the car.

  “Sean, you still have fifteen minutes before your bus arrives,” Addy called when the boy started out of the room with his coat on and backpack slung over his shoulder.

  “I’m just going to wait outside.”

  Sean hadn’t looked at her overly much all morning. He’d said even less and the longer he went without both, the more concerned Addy became.

  “Why don’t I walk you out?”

  She went to him despite his protest and settled a hand on his shoulder. It sagged beneath her touch, but he didn’t push her away. Together, they ventured down the hall towards the front door. She pulled him into the sitting room.

  “Talk to me, kiddo.”

  Staring fixedly at his shoes, Sean shook his head. “Nothing to talk about.”

  “You know that’s not true. A lot has happened here lately and I need to know how you feel.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Sean…”

  His head came up, his brown eyes dark. “I’m fine!” he snapped. “I don’t want to talk.”

  His raised anger momentarily surprised her. Sean had always been so level headed and calm. Seeing him upset was new.

  “Okay, then can I talk?”

  His response was the sharp aversion of his eyes and the deep furrow of his brows.

  “He did find us,” she began slowly, picking her words carefully. “He was here, but he won’t come back. Not ever. He’s gone forever. I promise. You and your sister are safe.”

  “Because he’s dead.” His flat tone made her shiver.

  “Yes,” she whispered. “He’s dead.”

  His chin came up and he met her gaze evenly. “I shouldn’t have left.”

  Addy started. “What?”

  His face lowered once more. “I should have been here instead of out there watching stupid whales.”

  “No!” She grabbed his shoulder with her good hand and gave him a gentle shake. “No, God, Sean, that is not … there was absolutely nothing you could have done. I would not have let him anywhere near you, even if you had been here. Plus, I’m the parent here. It’s my job to protect you and Hanna. Your job is to be a kid and do all the things kids do, like watch whales and spend time with your friends. You’ve been my anchor for too long and that’s my fault. I should never have allowed you to grow up as fast as you did. I’m not going to let that happen anymore. It’s over, do you hear me? No more being scared. No more hiding and no more growing up.”