Second Chances

by Alison Stanley

  Oh, please help me God. What should I do? she prayed as the bus reached her stop.

  * * * *

  Chapter 5

  Rachel felt like she would burst all through dinner. She wanted to talk to her mum alone about Nate and Luke, but she was finding it difficult to be patient. As she stacked her plate in the dishwasher, the phone rang. Jeremy got to it first.

  “Rachel, it’s your BOYFRIEND,” he called out, making no attempt to cover the receiver.

  Rachel felt her face heat and she avoided her parents’ curious looks as she ducked into her bedroom with the phone.

  “Hello.” Her heart was pounding.

  “Hi, Rachel. It’s Nate.”

  “How did you get my number?” she asked.

  Nate laughed. “Oh, I have my ways. Hey, I forgot to thank you earlier for looking after Lukey.”

  “That’s okay,” she said. “He’s a fun kid. I had a great time.”

  “Well, I’d like to take you out to the movies to thank you properly. Are you free on Friday night?” he asked.

  She felt torn. She certainly felt attracted to Nate, but she didn’t think it would be a good idea to be alone with him. While visually he ticked all her boxes, she didn’t know where his heart stood with God, or anything else about him for that matter.

  “I’m not sure that would be a good idea, I barely know you,” she replied.

  “Do you want to get to know me?” he asked.

  She flopped down onto her bed. This guy is persistent.

  “Yes, as friends,” she replied carefully.

  “Cool,” he said. “I’m happy with that. But I still want to do something for you to say thanks for today.”

  “Come to church with me on Sunday,” Rachel said, wondering afterwards what had come over her. She never invited people to church. Especially not guys.

  “Sure, why not,” he said. “I haven’t been to church since Sunday school, but if it means hanging out with the gorgeous Rachel, then I’ll be there.”

  She was glad that he wasn’t there to see her reaction. She gave him the details for Sunday and said goodbye, using her assignment as an excuse to get off the phone. She tiptoed into the kitchen to put the phone back on the charger, hoping to avoid any awkward conversations with her parents.

  “Rachel, is there something you’d like to tell me?” asked her mum.

  “I don’t have a secret boyfriend, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  “Don’t be so defensive. I was just curious.” Her mum chuckled. “Was it Steven? I’ve seen him watching you at church the last few weeks. He’s nice.”

  “Steven is more interested in comic books than girls.” Rachel shook her head. Her mum was always trying to set her up with the nerdy guys at church. “It was someone I met today when I was babysitting. Have you met Mrs. Phillip’s son, Nate?”

  A look of concern crossed her mum’s face.

  “Don’t worry. He just wanted to thank me for looking after Luke today, and I invited him to come to church on Sunday.”

  “That’s great,” said her mum. “Nate has been through more in his lifetime than I’d wish on anyone. I’m glad he is open to hearing about God.”

  Rachel didn’t tell her mum that Nate’s real interest in going to church was her, not God.

  “What happened to him, Mum?”

  “Well, I think he should be the one to tell you. He is a former patient of mine, so I can’t share anything more with you.”

  Rachel’s mum was a counsellor who treated children and teenagers.

  “Well, can you at least tell me what happened to Luke’s mum?”

  “She and Nate split up after Luke was born. I’m not sure where she is now. It’s quite sad really.” She paused. “Anyway, it’s great that Nate is coming to church. Maybe he and Steven can be friends?” She turned back to her magazine.

  I doubt it, thought Rachel as she returned to her room to finish her assignment. Later that evening, her assignment now complete, she prayed.

  Lord, I’m so confused right now. I feel as if You have brought Luke and Nate into my life for a reason, but I don’t know why. Please open Nate’s heart so that he would find healing. I pray for little Luke, that he would grow to know You. Please watch over Luke’s mum, wherever she is, and show her Your love. And as for my feelings for Nate, help me to be faithful to You and serve You with all my heart, even if it means denying what my heart desires. Lord, thanks that You have a plan for my life and that I can trust You. Amen.

  * * * *

  Chapter 6

  Hannah woke from her nap. It was past dinnertime. During her morning class, she had felt ill and had gone home. She’d cancelled her lunch with Tim. He was disappointed, but told her he’d come over to her place after his late lecture. Her sickness was brought on by the unexpected appearance of Dr. Matheson on the streets of Sydney. It brought back a whole lot of old feelings that she thought she had buried.

  She hadn’t eaten anything since the croissant that morning, her nervousness unsettling her stomach. She had prayed and she knew that telling Tim was the right thing to do, but she didn’t know how she would get the words out.

  The doorbell rang and she buzzed Tim in, then glanced quickly in the mirror while he made his way up the stairs. The mascara she had carefully applied in the morning had formed dark smudges under her eyes and her hair was sticking up on one side. She made some quick repairs before rushing to the door to let him in.

  “Hi, Hannah. I brought Thai—your favourite,” he said, walking to the kitchen and dumping a plastic bag on the small island bench.

  He came up behind her and put his arms around her waist. She flinched and he pulled back.

  “Is everything okay?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” she said, on the verge of tears.

  He steered her over to the couch. “Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get some Thai into you, and then we can talk about it.”

  He made a pot of green tea and set up their food on the coffee table while she sat on the couch, under a blanket, watching him. She wondered if this was the last time they would share Thai food together. While they ate, Tim spoke about his day and she listened. After clearing up, he sat back down beside her and held her hand, stroking her thumb.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  Tears came to her eyes. “Tim, before I tell you this, I just want to say that I love you, which is why I’ll understand if you want to break things off with me.”

  He looked as though he’d been slapped across the face. “Hannah, that could never—”

  “Tim,” she interrupted, “don’t make any promises before you hear me out.”

  She spoke the words she had been holding inside her for five years. When she explained what had happened on that evening, he looked away. When she told him about Dr. Matheson quitting the practice to go back to his wife, his face flashed with anger.

  “I’m so sorry,” she said, her tears now running down her face. “I’m sorry that it happened, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before now. I really hope you will forgive me.”

  “Hannah, I don’t know what I feel right now. I need some time to process this.” She noticed tears in his eyes as well.

  “Do you think you can forgive me?” she asked.

  “I don’t know. I think so, but it’s going to be hard. I can’t believe you didn’t trust me enough to share this with me earlier.”

  “It’s not that I didn’t feel I could, it was just something I had taught myself to forget about until today. Tim, there’s something else I should tell you,” she remembered. “I saw Dr. Matheson today when I was on the bus. He’s here in Sydney.”

  He rubbed his eyes and smoothed back his hair. “This is a lot of news for one evening. Can you give me a couple of days to think and pray about all this?” he asked, picking up his wallet and moving towards the front door.

  “Okay,” she said as he headed towards the stairs.

  “I love you,” she called into the stairwell.<
br />
  There was no response.

  * * * *

  Chapter 7

  Rachel checked her watch as Nate’s motorbike pulled into the church car park. As he pulled off his motorcycle jacket and helmet, she could see he had dressed up. He was wearing a charcoal button-up shirt and dark denim jeans. He had also shaved. As he walked towards her, his smile lit up his eyes and she found it hard to look away.

  “We better get inside. Church is about to start,” she said, leading the way.

  They sat up back and she noticed some of the other girls glance at Nate and whisper to each other. From the front, the band started to play a worship song. As she stood to sing, she had the feeling that someone was watching her. She cast her eyes around and caught Steven looking at her from over at the sound desk. He smiled, then quickly turned his attention back to the music.

  She sang with the rest of the congregation. She could see Nate looking at the words on the screen at the front of the church. The song was a favourite of hers and she hoped the words would come to mean something to him. She silently prayed as the minister began his sermon.

  Nate shifted in his seat so that he was sitting right up next to her. If he moves any closer, he’ll be sitting on me. She tried to listen to the sermon and not be distracted by his closeness. Her mind kept drifting, but she managed to catch bits and pieces. The talk was on Luke 19, about Zacchaeus, who was a tax collector and, therefore, hated by his countrymen. He had heard about Jesus and wanted to see him, but because he was so short, he couldn’t see past the crowd, so he ran ahead along the path and climbed a sycamore tree. When Jesus passed by, he looked right at Zacchaeus, invited himself over to his house, and that day, Zacchaeus received salvation. The minister explained that God knows what our greatest need is and can satisfy it completely.

  Rachel pondered on the sermon. What was her greatest need? She looked over at Nate and was horrified to see he had fallen asleep. She gave a little nudge with her elbow and he jumped.

  “What was that for?” he asked a bit too loudly.

  “Shhh, keep your voice down. You fell asleep!” she whispered back, embarrassed.

  “No, I didn’t.”

  Some people from the row in front were looking at them now, so she decided to finish the conversation later. A few seconds later she felt his elbow jab into her side.

  “Just getting even,” he whispered into her ear. She rolled her eyes.

  The rest of the service passed without any more drama. Once church was over, the minister came towards them and shook Nate’s hand. Rachel noticed some of the single girls her age standing in a cluster nearby, ready to pounce. She hoped that she didn’t come across this desperate whenever there was a new guy at church.

  While Nate was talking to the minister, Steven walked over to her.

  “Hi, Rachel. How are you?”

  “Um, fine thanks,” she said. He hadn’t initiated conversations with her before, so she was a bit surprised.

  “Is that your boyfriend?” he asked.

  “No,” she said. “Nate and I are just friends.”

  He smiled. “Oh, okay. I was just making sure. I have some free movie tickets and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me next weekend?”

  She was stunned. Two movie invitations in one week—this never happened to her. She glanced at Steven and considered the possibilities. She knew he was a strong Christian and good with kids; he was Jeremy’s leader at kid’s club. He wasn’t as attractive as Nate, but he wasn’t bad looking either. She’d never really thought of him in that way before. She was about to answer him when Nate interrupted.

  “Hi, I’m Nate,” he said, offering his hand.

  “I’m Steven.” They shook hands and Steven turned to Rachel. “I don’t want to put you on the spot. Why don’t you send me an email during the week and let me know.”

  Steven scribbled his email address on a piece of paper and handed it to Rachel. He smiled at her again before walking away.

  “What was that about?” asked Nate.

  “Nothing,” she answered quickly, but she knew he wasn’t convinced. “So, did you ask the minister to give you a re-cap of the sermon, seeing as you slept through it?” she asked.

  “I wasn’t asleep, I was praying,” he said. “That is, until I was rudely interrupted.”

  Her jaw dropped and he grinned. “I’m just teasing. You can elbow me whenever you like.”

  “What did you think of church?” she asked, as they walked out the doors into the church car park.

  “It was less boring than I remembered. I liked hearing about Zacchaeus. I think I’ll come back next week, if that’s okay with you.”

  “That’s fantastic,” she said, her heart lifting. She had been worried he might have found it too confronting.

  “Well, I better get back to Luke,” he said. “Thanks for inviting me.”

  He climbed on his bike, started the engine and rode off. Rachel sat in her car for a while, reflecting on the evening. She needed to talk to someone about all the things she was feeling. She got out her mobile phone and dialled Hannah’s number.

  * * * *

  Chapter 8

  Hannah pulled the tags off the new clothes she had bought earlier that day. She had thought some retail therapy would be good for her and, with winter approaching fast, she was in need of some warmer clothes. The shopping had distracted her for a few hours, until she walked in the door of her apartment. It had been four days and she still hadn’t heard anything from Tim. She had held off calling, emailing or texting him, knowing that she would see him at church, but he hadn’t been there that morning. Hannah spent the entire service unable to focus and wondering if she should try to contact him.

  She was contemplating that thought again when her phone rang, making her jump. Her stomach flipped over as she checked the screen to see who was calling. It was Rachel. She felt a sense of relief, knowing she didn’t have to face her fears just yet.

  “Hi, Rachel. How are you?”

  “Great. It’s so good to hear your voice. I’ve missed you so much.”

  “I’ve missed you too. So what’s been going on?”

  “Well, would you believe that I’ve been asked to the movies twice this week!”

  “What! Tell me everything.”

  Rachel laughed and told her about meeting Nate, his visit to church, and her interesting conversation with Steven.

  “Steven!” said Hannah, surprised.

  “Yeah, I know. Mum mentioned that she’d seen him looking at me. I thought she must have been making things up, but the way he spoke to me tonight, I get the feeling he is after something serious—just like me. But then, I can’t get my mind off Nate. He’s not a believer and I know I shouldn’t go there, but what if he does become a Christian? What if that is why he and Luke have suddenly come into my life? Maybe God has some special role for me to play?”

  “That might be the case, but until that happens, you can’t cross that line. Don’t compromise your values because of some guy,” said Hannah, with a bit too much force.

  “I know, I know,” said Rachel defensively. “What has you on edge tonight?”

  Hannah sighed. “There is a lot going on in my life at the moment. I’ve been keeping a secret for too long and I think it’s only fair that I explain things.”

  She told Rachel about Dr. Matheson, the fact that she had seen him while on the bus, and how she had broken the news to Tim.

  “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but I know it was right, even if it means losing Tim,” she explained. “You should have seen the look on his face. It’s been four days and I haven’t heard from him! Maybe God doesn’t think I deserve to be happy. How am I going to get through this?”

  “God isn’t trying to get back at you; He loves you, and the only way you’ll get through this is if you stick close to Him. I wish I was there to give you a hug, but please know that I’ll be praying for both you and Tim. Just promise me, if it all becomes too much, that y
ou’ll get yourself on a plane and come back to Oakley. You can even sleep in my room, like old times.”

  Hannah smiled—Rachel always knew how to make her feel better. “Okay, I promise,” she said solemnly. “And now it’s my turn to give advice. I know my love life isn’t the greatest right now, but please learn from my mistakes. Be careful with Nate; make sure you don’t encourage his feelings. I think you should go out with Steven. It could be fun; just make sure you pick the movie, or he might take you to some Anime or Manga film.”

  Rachel laughed.

  “I think I’ll give Tim a call tomorrow and see if he’ll meet with me,” she added. “I’ll let you know how it goes. And I’ll be praying for you too. Let me know if any sparks fly between you and Steven.”

  “Will do,” said Rachel. “Bye.”

  Hannah said goodbye and hung up the phone. She flopped back onto the couch and took Rachel’s advice, turning to God in prayer.

  Lord God, I’m sorry I’ve avoided You over the past few days. I’ve been so scared about what’s going on with Tim that I forgot that You are my first love. Help me to stay close to You. Thank You for Your forgiveness and new life. Please give me another chance with Tim and help him to forgive me too. Amen.

  * * * *

  Chapter 9

  The next day, Rachel went to university feeling energised. The last week had been confusing, but her phone call with Hannah had given her some clear direction. She would forget about Nate and focus on Steven.

  It had been a great day all round. She received the marks for her special education assignment from the previous week and she’d managed to get a High Distinction and the top mark in the class. Her lecturer spoke with her after class, telling her she should consider specialising in that area. The idea appealed to Rachel, and she promised her lecturer that she would look into it.