Holding Onto Hope (Crusaders MC Book 3)

by L. Grubb

  “Of course I’m okay. I’ve been locked in here waiting for you.” My head tilts to the side as I appraise him. He looks like he’s seen a ghost; his complexion pale except for his flushed cheeks.

  Before I know what’s happening, his calloused hands land on either side of my face, his thumbs brushing gently under my eyes. He’s so close to me I can smell his cologne mixed with man and it’s a heady mix. His lips crash onto mine, our lips locked in a furious embrace. I’m completely frozen to the spot, not knowing what to do but loving the feel of his mouth on mine. His tongue strokes my lips, coaxing them open before he plunges inside.

  One of his hands goes to my hair, grabbing and pulling me into an angle that best suits him, and damn if that shit isn’t hot. I find myself lost in the moment and moan into his mouth and his grip on my hair tightens almost painfully. I suddenly have the urge to rip the clothes from my body, to bare myself to him and let him do as he pleases, but the fear of sex keeps me rooted to the spot with just my hands on his ribs. “Hope, I want you so bad,” he says when his lips unlock from mine.

  “I… I… I can’t, Mack.” My eyes close as shame washes over me. What adult female doesn’t like sex? How do I even word it to him? “I’m scared.”

  “Of what, babe?” Mack’s compassionate voice has me telling him and my eyes squeeze shut, not wanting to see his expression. “We’ll take it slow. Just say stop if you don’t want to continue. I won’t hurt you, babe. I’ll fucking cherish every inch of you.”

  I find myself nodding to his suggestion, swallowing the growing fear that’s trying to take over. I want this. Hell, I need this. To hell with Toby’s actions that have held me captive for these past few years. It’s time to find myself again and who better than with Mack? The guy is a walking wet dream for women. He’s a fantasy to every cougar out there. And I’m about to make him… mine.

  “Stay with me, Hope. You can do this. Together we can beat your fear.” He rains kisses down my neck to my collarbone, from there to the top of my breast over my tank top and goosebumps break out over my skin, and I shiver. I move my neck to the side for better access and my eyes flutter shut as I bask in the moment. His warm breath makes a moan escape my throat as my mouth parts in bliss. His hands roam my hips to my lower back and my legs grow weak.

  I feel like I’m floating, his gentle touches and nips and kisses has me almost humping him like a bitch in heat. I’m so far gone that the fear barely reaches the surface and I lose myself in the delicious scent that’s all Mack.

  “Arms up, babe,” he whispers in my ear, his voice husky with lust. I swallow the build-up of saliva and do as he says. Not even a second after my arms go in the air then my top is flung across the room and I’m stood before him in just my red and black lace bra. The need to cover myself almost consumes me but Mack’s mouth over my lace-cladded nipple has me forgetting everything, including my own name. Lust races through my veins as my blood pumps hard, my heart threatening to break free. I don’t know what the heck to do with my shaking hands and leave them dangling by my sides. “Beautiful. You’re so fucking perfect, Hope.” His words hit me in my core. I can’t remember the last time anyone ever called me beautiful and the feeling that washes over me at the compliment has me smiling in response.

  His right hand snakes around my back before unclipping my bra. I let it slide down my arms and drop to the floor and watch as his eyes take in my breasts, my nipples hard with want. Our breathing is all I hear, and I wait in anticipation of his next move. “It’s going to be so hard going slow when all I want to do it ravish you and fuck you so hard, you’ll feel me next week.” I blink in surprise at his dirty words and take stock of how my body is reacting. I want the same. Fuck yes do I want the same, but with this sickening fear churning in my stomach I know slow is best.

  He unbuttons my jeans, his thumbs hooking into the waistband and sliding them over my arse and down my thighs. Feeling self-conscious, my arms wrap around my middle as I step out of my jeans. Now I just stand in my bra and panties set, my skin pebbled with goosebumps from lust and fear, yet the look in Mack’s eyes has the tension in my shoulders to loosen. I can do this, I tell myself, taking deep and even breaths. “Touch me.” It’s barely a whisper but I can tell Mack heard as his hands glide over my smooth skin, missing every spot I wish him to touch. He’s driving me insane and I can tell he knows that due to the dirty great big smirk on his face. “Please, Mack.” Since when did I beg like a whore? Apparently, since now.

  “Down on the floor, babe.” He helps me lay on the soft, fluffy rug and joins me with his head rested on his hand; elbow on the floor. His other hand tickles over my belly, over the band on my panties making a light sheen of sweat coat my forehead. My hands are clenched above my head, my back is slightly arched and my panties are soaking from the illicit teasing Mack is doing. “I’ve got you, babe,” he says, gently nibbling my earlobe. My body relaxes a fraction and Mack notices as his hands disappears between my legs, two fingers pressing gently on my clit.

  I arch even more off the floor, the instant pleasure sending electricity volts through my body, my head pounding from the force of the blood rushing through me. Damn, that feels so good. He circles my clit a few times, driving me insane as my moans fill the quiet room. His lips are attacking my neck and I’m completely lost to everything that’s Mack. “Please take your clothes off, Mack. I want to see you too.” I don’t know where my boldness has come from, but the need to see him, to feel him, is taking precedence over everything else. This man can ruin me, and he will; and my body is welcoming every tickle, every kiss, every circle of his fingers on me.

  When he withdraws his hand, I whimper at the loss, my body rapidly cooling and begging for his touch again. My eyes had involuntarily closed, and I crack one open in time to see him whisk his shirt over his head; his cut already placed above our heads. His body is chiselled and lean, his abs visible and sexy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a mans torso quite so hot before with his trail of hair leading from his belly button to happy places. His arms are bulky but with just the right amount and he has a slight V shape on his lower abdomen that, one day, maybe, I’d like to trail with my tongue. Saliva is again building, and I swallow madly to stop myself drooling at the sight of this perfect specimen of a man. “Like what you see, Hope?” My name coming from his lips in that husky, lust-ridden, tone makes me wants to spontaneously combust and inside I’m begging him to hurry the fuck up.

  Though the fear is still very much there, the sight of his body keeps it at bay enough for me to appreciate everything about him. His jeans are next to be shed and he’s left in just his black boxers, which is tenting with his impressive erection. And my God, the guy is big. My mouth waters, wanting to taste him, though I don’t have the guts to do it. Not yet.

  “Relax, babe. Let me take care of you.” No sooner has those words left his mouth then his lips attach to mine, soft yet hard, and I’m writhing on the rug in just my underwear, wondering what will happen next. I don’t need to wonder for long as his hand disappears again to my pussy where one finger enters me and his thumb pressed to my clit. I cry out as my body heats up, blood rushing everywhere so fast I don’t have to time to form a thought. All I can focus on is the pleasure coursing up my spine, my legs shaking as another finger enters and they curl inside me, making me squirm and moan in complete and utter bliss.

  “You’re so wet for me. So fucking responsive,” he says between kisses. My lips feel bruised but in a good way. Our tongues dance together as he brings me closer and closer to the brink; his fingers dancing between my legs bringing me pure, undulated, pleasure. “Let. Go.” His words send me flying through the clouds, my back leaves the floor and my eyes flutter, mouth opening on a moan that makes even my toes curl. “That sound makes me want to empty my damn load in my trousers like a teenage boy. So fucking hot.” He licks the underside of my ear and a shiver courses through my limbs and shakes my bones. “You okay?”

  “Mmmm…” I can’t form a word
in my head let alone give him one. I can’t remember the last time my body felt so relaxed yet so alive at the same time. And I know he’s not done with me yet, not by a long shot.

  “You’re so beautiful, yet you don’t even know it. If my dick didn’t want to be in you so bad right now, I’d worship every fucking inch of you.” His eyes trail the length of my body and it makes me squirm; my pussy clenches. “Are you ready? If you’re not, just say.”

  His warm reassuring smile makes the annoyingly frustrating fear return to its box and my body hums with excitement and anticipation of what’s to come. “Yes, Mack. Make me feel again. Help me find myself; the me before Toby.” I gulp past the sudden lump in my throat, and I make a bold move by cupping his penis through his underwear. His eyes close and a tick develops in his jaw, his left hand grips my hip tighter and a tortured groan escapes his mouth.

  “Fuck, Hope.” His voice is strangled as my thumb moves over the tip of his cock, his length getting impossibly larger. “Feels so fucking good.” His hips push into my hand and I squeeze gently, licking my suddenly dry lips. I want him. Need him. Bad.

  “Please, Mack,” I beg, my voice barely above a whisper. The last word just about passed through my lips before his boxers hit the floor and his body covers mine.

  “Shit. I don’t have a condom.” He frowns, and it makes his face seem edgier, sexier and the need to clench my legs together for a bit of friction is almost overwhelming.

  “I’m on birth control and you can always pull out. Don’t get me this far then pull away.” Tears in the back of eyes make them burn, along with my throat because I’m holding them back. “Mack?”

  “Okay.” His frown disappears, and his eyes turn molten. His level of sexy should be a damn crime.

  His hand disappears between us, lining his cock up with my entrance and I hold my breath as I experience the thickness of his cock entering me. The fear returns but I won’t let it stop me, I bite my lip to keep it at bay and concentrate on steady breathing. I can do this, I tell myself. Inch by glorious inch, he enters me until he’s finally fully in. He stills and looks into my eyes, gauging my reaction and I’m guessing to make sure I’m okay. I nod once, ignoring the voice in my head, screaming at me telling me this is wrong; sex is wrong.

  “Please, move, Mack,” I whimper, the walls of my sex quivering. “Show me that sex can be good.”

  “I’ll show you that and more, baby.” His mouth descends onto mine and I close my eyes and lose myself into the kiss. Slowly, too fucking slowly, Mack starts moving and spikes of pleasure shoot through my body and I moan into his mouth. My body heats, and sweat breaks out all over. I reach my hand around to his back and as his steady rhythm increases its tempo, I scratch down his back which makes him growl into the quiet room. “Fuck.”

  I wrap my legs tightly around his waist and pump my hips to match is pace. The pleasure takes over and I’m no longer thinking about my fear, my past or anything in between. All that matters is the here and now. Mack and I. Someone I told myself I wouldn’t get involved in. But like a moth to a flame, I couldn’t help myself. My brain fizzles out until no logical thought is there, I’m not longer controlled by Toby. My body, my mind, my soul, has been released to Mack. Whether this goes beyond this room, beyond this moment, is a mystery to be uncovered. I only care about how he’s making my body feel things that it’s not felt in a long time, and as my pleasure meter spikes to soaring heights, I squeeze my legs tighter and one of my hands clutches the hair at the back on his neck and I let go. Pure ecstasy takes over, goosebumps pebble every inch of my skin and my eyes roll to the back of my head as I bask in the moment while my walls clench around his cock until I’m sure it’ll snap off inside of me.

  “Fuck, Hope. That’s so fucking hot. Jesus Christ.” Mack pistons his hips, breaking through the tightness of my pussy from my orgasm and bumping my cervix which makes me jolt with the slight pain that follows. The feelings that took over me felt so damn good I honestly forgot how big his dick really is. I forgot to wonder if it would all fit inside me, and boy does it. “I’m gonna blow, babe.” Two more thrusts and he pulls out, holding his penis in both hands and his cum shoots out, landing in a puddle on my belly. The warmth of his cum landing on my cooling skin makes me jump a little and a slow flush creeps up my neck. “Hope...” he pants out, holding himself up by his elbows and his forehead leaning on mine. “That... was… incredible.” I couldn’t agree more.

  Mack

  Having sex with Hope was so much better than what my imagination conjured up, the feel of her heat wrapped around my cock had me almost bursting instantly; that would have been embarrassing as fuck. The innocence that poured from her was enticing and I was beyond saving, beyond holding back. I didn’t think this would happen, knowing she’s Granger’s daughter and with my final promise to him it’s supposed to be forbidden. But I’m the Prez, he’s dead and after the mess he left behind, I don’t give a fuck. I’m going for what I want, and I want Hope with every fibre of my being.

  It wasn’t my usual fast and hard, no, it wouldn’t have been right to treat her like that, and with the fear she’s been left with by her arsehole ex, I never had the choice anyway. But Hope and I? We have an electric connection and one I want to explore if she’s willing to, I want her to be my Old Lady. I want to hold onto Hope with every fibre of my being because she’s special, she’s unique, and I want her to be mine.

  “Mack?” Her voice brings me out of my thoughts and I open my eyes and study her face. She’s stunning, her eyes bright blue and full of life, yet dull through past experiences, her skin is flawless and her blonde hair that fans over the rug is silky smooth. Her heart shaped face and prominent cheek bones leaves no question to her beauty. She’s definitely one in a million. “I can’t breathe very well down here.” She chuckles as she pushes against my chest.

  “Shit. I’m so sorry,” I exclaim, rolling to my side next to her and trace lazy circles on her chest. “I got lost in my own damn head.”

  “We all do that.” Her smile his slow coming and lazy, but it lights up her face and my heart soars. This girl can ruin me and my fucking heart. “Care to share your thoughts?”

  I hesitate, staring at her before deciding now is probably the best time to express my feelings and hope to fuck she doesn’t reject me. “I want you to be my Old Lady, Hope. I want to fucking worship the ground you walk on. I don’t know what it is that draws me to you, but since my eyes landed on you, I knew we could have something special. I just pray you feel it too.” I don’t break eye contact and I can practically see those cogs working in her brain.

  Her mouth pops open, then closes before opening again; lost for words. I wait patiently, nerves cause my pulse to beat faster and I swear she can feel it. “Really? Me?”

  “I’ve never been so sure of something in my life, Hope. I know it seems we’re rushing things, but I want to see where it goes. The ball is in your court, princess.” While I wait for her decision, I let my eyes travel over her breasts, to her belly, to the little piece of paradise between her legs and finally down her toned legs to her painted toenails. The woman is gorgeous and how she doesn’t see it, I have no fucking idea.

  “Okay. Let’s see where this goes.” Her smile could light up the darkest of fucking prisons and it’s aimed straight at me, which incidentally, goes straight to my growing cock. “I’m not stubborn enough to ignore the pull, the volts of electricity that seem to spark every time we touch. I’m not stupid enough to throw something away when it could be the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” She pauses, her eyes fluttering. “You saved my life, Mack. I could never repay you for that. And the fact you cared enough to find me when you’d never met me before… well, it’s attractive all on its own without everything else. Mack, you had me from the moment you whisked away from that club.”

  My heart soars to high levels at her words and I can’t help the shit eating grinning that’s plastered on my face. “You won’t fuckin regret it, babe, I promise.”
With that, I lower my mouth down to hers and let my hands roam her delectable body. I hope she’s ready for round two, because I need to claim her my way.

  Mack

  The next morning, I’m sat in church with a steaming mug of coffee in one hand and cigar in the other as I wait for my brothers to wake their lazy arses and enter. I need an update on everything Lynx and his pathetic club. He needs to be taken out and permanently this time, I won’t fucking miss.

  As my fingers get into a rhythm tapping on the table, my men finally grace me with their presence, each carrying a coffee, Grizz carrying two. “About fucking time, gentlemen.” I tut, shaking my head. “You may think we have all day but Lynx is unpredictable. Rexx, any updates on what the fucker is planning?”

  “I asked someone dude who works the streets, dealing, to try and pry information from them. He went to their clubhouse to pick up a batch of drugs and he heard Lynx talking, he knows everything about Hope, Prez. He’s planning on killing her for not obeying. He’s pissed, Mack. Super fucking pissed.” Rexx doesn’t usually get so vexed but right now, he is.

  “Fuck.” I slam my fist onto the table, my angry voice echoing around the room. “Shit needs to end now. I want to get to them before they ambush us.” I run a hand through my hair, my eyes scrunched shut as I try to control the murderous rage that is thundering through my body. “Ginge and Tips still camped outside the clubhouse?” I air-quote ‘clubhouse’ because honestly, their club is a fucking joke. They know it, we know it.

  “Yeah, mate. They’re saying they’re hardly there any more, mostly it’s just prospects, whores and young girls coming and going,” Ranger answers me. I can see he’s as frustrated as I am and hates not knowing where the enemy are, not knowing when they’re going to strike. My heart hurts, the thought of Hope in danger… I can’t even comprehend it. I really fucking can’t.