Dreamless

by Jenniffer Wardell

  Elena wasn’t sure if she was amused or annoyed that Cam had been right. More surprising, however, was the odd sense of defensiveness that sent a little spike along her shoulder blades. “I was being completely honest with Marie,” she said, watching Alan as closely as he was watching her. “In his own way, Cam is just as scary as you are.”

  Alan smiled at that, the expression so close to a grin that it instantly melted Elena’s defensiveness. “I know. He cheats, just like his mother.”

  The last was said with such approval that it briefly brought a smile to Elena’s own lips. Still, it wasn’t the response she’d been expecting. “I thought you two fought all the time.”He settled back in his chair, clearly having obtained the information he was looking for. “We do. He also has his mother’s inability to follow basic instructions,” he said, his face becoming solemn. “Cam could make captain in a few years if he’d just focus himself a little.” It sounded like an old argument between them, one she wasn’t familiar enough with to even consider touching.”

  If he moved over to the castle guard, he could have made captain a year ago. They’re in desperate need of men and women who actually know what they’re doing.”

  Alan’s disapproval of the basic training methods utilized by the palace guard was legendary, which had led to more than a few shouting matches between him and the guardmaster over the years. As her personal guard, Alan was technically outside their command structure, which was the only reason he hadn’t overhauled the entire system years before. “So why ask me if Cam’s doing a good job?” she asked, knowing she wasn’t likely to get a straight answer out of him. Still, she had to try. “It seems pretty clear to me that you already knew the answer.”

  He looked amused. “I knew the truth. That didn’t mean I knew what your answer would be.”

  She was tempted to prod the man further. Before she decided whether or not to make the push, however, Robbie reappeared. “Everything’s ready,” he said, his breathlessness suggesting he’d run back inside. As if he’d realized that himself, he stopped and made himself breathe more slowly. “You can come out whenever you want.”

  There was only one acceptable answer to give. Standing up, she tried hard to make sure her expression didn’t slide into its usual defensive mask. “I’ll follow you out right now.”

  Robbie kept up a steady stream of explanation all the way out to the lab, the semi-familiar technical language doing a great deal to make her shoulders relax. She asked a few careful questions, always designed to set off a new round of explanations, and made a mental note to copy her harness notes and send them along with Cam the following Sunday.

  The lab itself was small, full of plants and different bits of wood and metal. There weren’t quite as many books as in her own work area, a sign of the differences between the two disciplines of magic, but the ones that were there looked well-read. “I like it,” she said. “You must accomplish a great deal out here.”

  Taking that as a sign of approval, Robbie hurried over to his worktable. “I wove together the basic magic detection and lost child charm spells, then calibrated it to seek out the invisibility spell instead of the blood match like it usually does. It’s kind of blind, though. The one time I tested it, the spell tried to make Mom walk through the side of a building. I was wondering if you had any techniques to maybe refine the guidance system a little better.”

  It was impossible not to jump in with him, offering suggestions from her own work and fascinated by the ideas that Robbie seemed to pull directly from his own imagination. At some point he sacrificed his chair so she could sit down, instead using an overturned mixing cauldron generally used to make basic household potions in large batches. Elena immediately asked him where he’d purchased it—Braeth had recently dissolved his, and they were hard to find in the city.

  A casual mention of the flying spells set the conversation off in an entirely different direction. Soon various practice rounds of the spell—purely for testing, of course—had the invisibility-detecting charms dancing in a circle above their heads. Once Robbie came up with an idea, they used a basic wind spell for propulsion and guided the charms into even more complicated tricks. It was almost as much fun as flying.

  “As much as I hate to interrupt, it’s getting dark. We should probably be getting you home soon.”

  Elena jumped at the sound of Cam’s voice behind her, accidentally causing an eddy that sent one of the charms sailing towards the door. Cam caught it easily, his smile warm and a teasing light in his eyes. “Has anyone ever told you you’re pretty cute when you get caught up playing?”

  Giving him her best haughty expression in response, she sent the breeze to pick the charm back up and return it to Robbie. “We weren’t playing. We were conducting serious magical experiments.” It was only then that Elena realized that it had been “getting dark” for at least a solid hour by now. She had been out here for far longer than she realized. “I really should be getting home. My mother doesn’t hover when she’s worried, but Bishop somehow senses it and hovers for her.” She smiled at Robbie. “Thank you. I should probably apologize to your parents for avoiding them all night, but I had a wonderful time.”

  Robbie’s cheeks colored a little, but the grin on his face reminded her of Cam. “Hey, my door is always open for anyone who has the transitive properties of quartz memorized.” Then his expression sobered a little, becoming more earnest. “Seriously, I would love to do this again any time you’d be interested. I don’t have a lot of friends who are as in to the technical details of all this as I am.”

  Elena knew exactly what he meant, and was briefly, powerfully, tempted to name a date. Then guilt hit, crushing the desire. She and Robbie could become good, close friends, but she had no right to be making those when she had so little time left. Even though she’d decided to examine the curse again, the odds that anyone would find something to help her were miniscule.

  A thought clicked quietly inside her head, and the words were out of Elena’s mouth before she had any idea they were coming. “Do you know anything about deep spell analysis?”

  Robbie paused. “Yeah. Sorcerers and sorceresses use them for intense study sessions on really complicated spells. They set up this whole circle so nothing accidentally explodes or backlashes while they’re poking at it, and aren’t there usually like three or four people on the outside sending in probes and doing different tests?”

  “There are.” Elena took a deep breath, telling herself that this was an entirely practical decision. It was always good to have an extra set of knowledgeable eyes during an analysis, and the fact that Robbie was a witch gave him a perspective no one else in the circle would have. “I’m doing a deep spell analysis on a particularly complicated spell construction sometime in the near future, and I would like you to be in the circle. If you’re willing, of course.”

  Behind her, Elena sensed Cam go still. Robbie, however, was paying absolutely no attention to his brother’s reaction. “That’s, I—” Blinking too-wide eyes, Robbie stopped and made himself take a breath before trying again. “Yes, of course. I’d be honored. But don’t you want somebody with more experience? I haven’t even finished my training. I’m sure if you asked Dame Beacham she’d—”

  Elena stopped him with a lift of her hand, deliberately ignoring Cam. Whatever he was feeling, she could deal with it later. “I’d need you for your observational skills, not your spell casting, and those are already excellent. It’s also important to me that I absolutely trust everyone who will be involved in this circle.” She smiled a little. “The only witch I know of who fits that qualification is you.”

  Their eyes met for a long time, then Robbie swallowed. “Of course, just tell me when.” Then he hesitated. “Is this something I shouldn’t mention to Mom and Dad?”

  The question gave Elena pause, and she was annoyed at herself for not having considered that particular wrinkle. But if her own mother wa
s eventually going to have to be told, it seemed wrong not to tell Alan and Marie as well. “I would never be so foolish as to try and keep a secret from your parents,” she said.

  It was only when the worry left Robbie’s face that Elena realized it had been there in the first place. He started cleaning things up, and when she offered to help he gently shooed her away. “I’ve got a secret organizational system no one else can understand,” he said, smiling.

  “He really does,” Cam cut in, trying to sound as light and easy as he had only minutes ago. But she could hear the tension, and braced herself for whatever argument he was going to try as soon as they were alone. “Come on. Mom and Dad will kill me if you don’t say goodbye before you go.”

  Elena followed him outside, carefully shutting the lab door behind her so that Robbie couldn’t overhear. Expecting Cam to jump on the relative privacy, she started with the counterattack. “I have every right to involve your brother.” She sounded angrier than she’d meant to, but it bothered her that Cam thought Robbie had to be protected from her. “If you want Alan and Marie to weigh in first, that’s fine. But he’s intelligent and attentive, and I need his input.”

  She stopped where she was, not wanting the rest of the family involved until they’d hashed out a few things. When Cam turned around, however, it wasn’t to yell at her. “You didn’t tell me you were going to take another look at the curse,” he said quietly.

  Her frustration abruptly deflated in surprise. “It didn’t occur to me,” she admitted, feeling her way around the unexpected conversational turn. “Is that what this is about?”

  Cam’s jaw tightened briefly, and for a while there was nothing but silence. Then he sighed. “I didn’t think you’d listened to me.”

  There were so many ways she could take that, some of which would start conversations she wasn’t ready for. Elena kept her voice light, not letting herself wish for anything more than the simplest version. “I enjoy not listening to you.”

  The corners of his mouth quirked upward. “Believe me, I know.” His expression went serious again. “But this was important. And before you try to yell at me again, Robbie was a good call. Mom and Dad won’t have any problem with it.”

  There was no safe response to any of this, except for a simple and dignified apology that she’d gotten mad at him in the first place. “I’m sorry.”

  Cam’s smile widened. “Let’s not start that.” He held out a crooked arm. “People might think you’re possessed.”

  After a moment, she slid her arm through his. “I don’t know what came over me.”

  Chapter 10

  Connections

  Cam’s good mood lasted until the next morning.

  Elena was always awake earlier than he was. Cam could make himself get up whenever he had to—when you were a member of the border guard, sometimes shifts started before dawn—but he didn’t like the process. Here his duties officially started at eight a.m., which meant that Elena had been wandering around the castle for at least an hour before that. No matter what she did, though, she always made sure she was back in her suite by the time he opened his eyes. She’d tried to give him the slip that first morning after he’d discovered her little flying habit, and he’d ended up in three separate meetings and two guest bedrooms attempting to look for her. After that, she’d decided he was a menace when left to his own devices.

  Now, though, there was no sign of her and her bedroom door was firmly closed. He knocked, stomach sinking when she didn’t respond, and when the silence continued he pushed open the door.

  Elena was lying peacefully in bed, eyes closed like she simply hadn’t woken up yet. But it took a small eternity for her chest to rise and fall even once, and he felt a little sick as he laid his fingers against her pulse. Finally, he felt the too-faint beat that he’d already become painfully familiar with.

  Cam reminded himself that they’d done this plenty of times before. It was a blackout, just like all the others, except this time it must have hit while she was asleep. It was his job to keep watch, deflect anyone who tried to talk to her, and have the numbers as close as he could for when she woke up.

  He pulled the desk chair over, sat down, and made himself wait. He’d mentally composed his explanation to the queen over a week ago, and though there was a small chance it’d get him on the execution block it was too important not to handle himself. The news that Elena planned to re-examine the curse meant that some changes were required, but Cam was happy to make them.

  By the second hour, he was too angry to focus. It was like the curse was slapping back at Elena, punishing her for even thinking about taking a swing at it. For hoping, even a little, that there was a way out of the future dropped on her by an insane relative who she’d never even met.

  He wanted to hurt someone, but the only person who deserved it was probably hidden in a tower somewhere thousands of miles away. Besides, Elena was the one who deserved to take the shots. When she woke up again—anything other than “when” wasn’t an option here—he was going to figure out some way to give her that chance.

  It was about the only thing he could do to help her.

  Cam jumped at the sound of someone knocking, and he hurried to answer it before whoever it was invited themselves in. “What?”

  When she saw the look on his face, the maid took an involuntary step back. She held the breakfast tray out in front of her like a peace offering. “I— I was just bringing some food up to the princess. Normally, she’s already sent for it by now. The cook thought she might be hungry.”

  Cam kept himself from swearing through sheer force of will, reminding himself that the poor woman didn’t deserve it. “She’s not feeling well.” His words were biting, and he made himself stop when he heard how he sounded. “I told her to get some more rest.”

  The woman looked concerned. “Do you want me to fetch the doctor, sir?”

  He shook his head, taking the tray out of the maid’s hands. “I already tried that, and she said no. But you can send Braeth up, if he’s willing.”

  “No, don’t.” Elena’s voice cut into the conversation, firm and only a little disoriented. The sheer relief of hearing it hit Cam hard enough that he almost fumbled the tray. “I’m fine. But tell him I’ll be down this afternoon.”

  The maid bowed her head. “Yes, Your Highness.” Then she glanced at Cam again, still looking a little spooked, and hurried down the hallway.

  He almost slammed the door in his hurry to turn around, dropping the tray on the desk before returning to Elena’s side. She was a little pale, her breathing slow and focused like she was trying to calm herself. But she was sitting up, and right now that was the only thing that mattered.

  Cam sat back down in the chair, taking one of Elena’s hands in his. When she squeezed it, holding on tight, he realized she was even more shaken up than she was letting on. “It was a blackout, wasn’t it?” When he nodded, she closed her eyes. “How long was I out?”

  “At least two hours.” He tried to make his voice as steady and reassuring as possible, hoping it could counteract what he was saying at least a little. “Probably longer—I think the blackout hit while you were still asleep.”

  “Fantastic.” Her shoulders sagged. “I need to set up the analysis spell soon, don’t I?”

  “That might be a good idea,” Cam said quietly, trying to figure out if there was some way he could fuss over her that she would accept. He wasn’t all that good at it, anyway—Mom had always been the champion fusser, meaning that his duties extended only to dumb jokes and other related distractions. Right now seemed way too soon for that.

  Facts, however, might do the same thing. “How many people do you have left to talk to?”

  Elena sighed, dropping her forehead into her free hand. “Just my mother.” She lifted her head again and squared her shoulders. “Which means I should probably get it over with.” She tugged on his
hand, just a little, then blinked and looked down at their joined hands as if surprised to see them so firmly attached. He let go immediately, but if anything that seemed to disconcert her even more.

  Cam grabbed the tray off the desk, ignoring how cold his hand suddenly felt. “Eat something first.” He set it down on her lap, hand twitching as he resisted the urge to give her shoulder a comforting squeeze. “It’ll give your cheeks a little time to get some of their color back.”

  It took a second, but she smiled a little at that. “Are you saying I look less than breathtaking right now?”

  If she was teasing him, she was okay again. “Well, I didn’t want to say anything.”

  “Hush.” Her smile widened as she shooed him toward the door. “Now go away for a second. I need to put on my battle armor.”

  ~

  Fifteen minutes later, she emerged from her bedroom pressed, polished, and without a single hair out of place. It was her ice princess look, which had never impressed him, but the warmth in her eyes called up a similar warmth in his chest. “When you said battle armor, you weren’t kidding.”

  She lifted her chin, giving him her best haughty expression. “A warrior must be prepared for every eventuality.”

  He headed toward Elena, shooting a quick glance behind her to see if he could see the breakfast tray. When she caught him doing it, the humor crept back onto her face. “Are you this much of a mother hen to Robbie and Gabby, too?”

  “I’ll deny it to my dying day.” He held his arm crooked out again, just like he had the night before. “Shall we?”

  Taking a deep breath, she slid her arm through his. “If Bishop isn’t already with her, I’ll need you to go find him while I’m talking to her and bring him back with you.”

  They started walking, Elena leading the way. Maybe it was because they seemed intent on avoiding each other as much as possible, but she always had a surprisingly good sense of where her mother was. “In case you two start fighting and need someone to break it up?”