"How old were you when your mom died?" Mal asked. The growl had left his voice and he, too, seemed more relaxed. The more I talked, the better I felt, as if talking to him had cleansed my soul.
"Eight. I was eight." I wiped my eyes and breathed deeply. Caden took Xany by the hand and tugged her back toward the cabin. She resisted, but I gave her a feeble smile to let her know that I was all right. The warmth lifted and I sat up in Mal's lap. He cupped my face and ran his thumbs over my cheeks.
"What was that?" I asked.
"What was what?" He tilted his head. With my own emotions sorted I was better able to sense Mal's essence inside of me as if he were living inside my heart. He was angry, I could feel that, but he wanted me, possessed me, and no one else would ever lay a hand on me. Knowing this shattered any remnants of fear I had left. I was his.
"That feeling."
"You know what that was. It was our pack, and Caden drawing our power. How do you feel now?" His grin was telling. I wondered if he was experiencing me as strongly.
"I dunno. Relieved. I think relieved." I nodded. It sure felt like relief anyway. Like the world was suddenly lighter and the air thinner.
"Relief is good. How old were you when you got away from your father?" He brushed his thumb over my bottom lip and I kissed it.
"Sixteen. I graduated school early and went to college then. I got a scholarship." It was suddenly easier to answer his questions.
Mal nodded; his expression was soft, though I could sense his lust to tear apart my father. A mild rumbling still lingered inside him when he closed the gap between us and captured me in a fierce kiss. His breath seemed like life, the sweet heat of it. My fingers caressed his chest, digging in a bit.
"That took a lot of effort, talking about all that," he said and moved his hands to rub my back. Every part of me was quieted by his touch.
"Yeah. It's different talking about it now. I mean, it still scares me but it's not like it was." I brushed my lips against his.
"Healing," was all he said before closing the gap between us. His lips were firm and his kiss vigorous. So different from Vanessa's delicate kisses and soft lips.
"I'm sorry for being so dramatic sometimes," I said. "Sometimes it feels like I'm a lot of work to have around."
"No more apologizing for things like this. You think you're a lot of work but you're a ball of love that I can't take my eyes off of." His eyes seemed to twinkle.
"Flattery will get you nowhere, Mr. Wade." I tapped his lip with my finger. He laughed hard and pulled me into a rough hug.
"Gv-ge-yu-hi, Shawnee."
"I love you, too," I said through a smile that seemed endless whenever I was in his arms. His words didn't surprise me. I'd connected to his feelings for me before he even had to say it. "Are you really okay with me going to Ireland with Vanessa tomorrow?"
"Of course. But you have to promise to call me, like on the phone call me. I don't want my wolf running across two continents into Pride territory. That could be messy." He waggled his eyebrows. "I could probably take them all though." He flexed his shoulders then laughed.
"That would be a sight." My words entwined with laughter. "I'll call you. I think we're only staying for the day. Vanessa's mom is really nice. She's young though—seeing her you'd think they were sisters rather than mother and daughter." I had only faint memories of Vanessa's mother and of Ireland.
"Is her mom just as hot?" That earned him a swat.
"She's pretty but blonde."
"Vanessa's really happy that you're going, huh?" He quirked a brow.
"Yeah, I've always refused to go unless she tricked me. But I never wanted to go anywhere really." I shrugged. "It was nothing against Ireland."
"Well, it's understandable," he said and pecked me on the lips. "Why don't you and I go cool off in the AC and watch a movie. You look tired."
"I am tired and drained," I said as we stood together. Mal lifted me into his arms and carried me back to the cabin. "I can walk, it's okay," I said, even though I couldn't resist placing my head on his shoulder.
"I've got this." He smiled.
Chapter Five
It wasn't the movie that had me dozing on and off; it was Mal's embrace as we cuddled on the sofa. Every time I awoke, he was stroking my hair or holding my hand. In his arms, nothing could get to me. At least that's how it seemed anyway. Part of me wondered if he'd been soothing me because of a dream or if I was talking in my sleep, but I didn't dwell on those thoughts. Whatever the case, I was happy to be right where I was.
The main room of the cabin filled with the thick scent of fried shrimp as Caden stood over the stovetop, cooking away like a master chef. Xany perched on the carpet in front of the fireplace with my laptop. She must've been searching for recipes because every so often she would ask Caden if he liked a certain food. Mal kept hushing her but I was already awake. I stretched out a bit, loosening my stiff muscles, and then smiled up at him. He poked me in the nose before looking over to the front door.
"Gene's here," he said.
"What?" I asked. He nodded toward the door just as a sharp knock rattled the wood.
"I'll get it," Xany said and hopped up to answer the door. The hinges squeaked a bit as she ushered Imogene inside. "Hi, c'mon in."
"Thanks. Afternoon all, sorry to intrude. Just dropping off a few things for Mal." Gene entered the cabin with armfuls of bags and a thick yellow envelope in her hand. Cote rushed past her, ruffling the fabric of her ankle-length skirt. "Easy there, boy," she called after him. Before I had a chance to sit up properly, Cote dove into my lap.
"Ooph! Hey there, Cote." I laughed and repositioned myself beside Mal. Cote scooted around until he was sitting comfortably across my legs. He shook his wrist around to show me that it was still intact. "I'm glad it works."
He offered me a toothy grin and I hugged him. Cote seemed to warm up to me faster than most kids did. Which is saying a lot as doctors aren't usually the best friends of children. Though I liked working with kids, I was always reminded of their vulnerability and how much protection they need just to survive.
Mal kissed my cheek before standing and offering me his hand. I positioned Cote on my hip as I stood, then laced my fingers with Mal's. His eyes lingered on mine a moment too long and worry clenched my chest. Had I done something wrong? He must've caught on to my anxiety because his voice popped into my head a second later. You're really good with kids. He turned and we walked hand-in-hand into the kitchen.
Thanks, was all I could muster up in reply.
"Hey there, Gene. It's never an intrusion." Caden moved quickly to alleviate her burden and set the bags on the kitchen table before returning to his cooking.
"What's all this?" Xany asked as she hovered beside the kitchen table. Her bouncy movements resembled an anxious child waiting to open holiday gifts.
"Oh, this is the work of a new artist who's been contributing to the shop. Would you like to see?" Gene opened up the bags one by one.
"You bet," Xany said. I balanced Cote on my hip as I looked on. Caden set the cooked shrimp aside and joined us at the table.
"I thought you'd help me price them, Mal. They're wonderful pieces, and oh, this is yours." She handed him the envelope with a bright smile. "Your knives are popular."
Mal grinned and tucked it into his back pocket. Cote toyed with my hair while he watched his mother. Gene laid out the handcrafted items on the table. Sweetgrass braids, woven leather jewelry, small wooden pipes, wing feathers, and a bone-crafted breastplate were all a part of the collection.
"These are great," Mal said, his eyes scanning the pieces. I pointed out the breastplate to him. That's all bone and real leather. I can smell it. His voice echoed inside my head and I nodded.
Cote took the opportunity to climb out of my arms and onto Caden's shoulder, crouching like a perched parrot. Xany giggled at him and shook her head. Sitting in such a way is pretty common for Breeder children. We're taught early to seek protection from Changer pack mates and pa
rents by climbing up their bodies, sometimes even in beast form. Sometimes it is for the simple purpose of gaining an aerial view. Without Cote, it was easier for me to browse the jewelry. Each piece carried a folded tag that listed the artist's name, tribe, census number, and price. All of the tags on these were signed with only an ink drawing of feathers tied together. The tribe was listed as Cherokee. Everything else was blank. Mal and Imogene discussed prices while she jotted down the number on each. Xany picked up one of the bracelets and draped it over her arm to show me. It was tan and reddish as if painted with clay.
"Looks good on you," I said.
"Thanks!" She giggled and set it back down.
"How come the artist didn't sign her name, Gene?" I asked.
"I'm not sure. Some people don't if they've struggled to write English and can't write their tribal language." She shrugged.
"I find that hard to believe. Do you know her?" I turned the tag over on the bracelet to inspect the signature, saddened by the possibility that this artist didn't know how to write her own name.
"Pretty well. She's an older wolf who goes by the name Ann. I think she's nomadic; she comes to the shop often now that she's selling things." Gene carefully packed away the priced items after we'd all had a chance to look at them.
"She'll make a good profit off this stuff," Mal said. "She's very talented."
"She will. We have a lot of collectors around here and my oldest son is now fascinated with computers and wants to create a website for the shop." Gene nodded, a smirk of distaste spread across her lips. I could tell she didn't like the modernized idea of a website. A sudden wave of nausea overcame me and I moved away from the group and back to the sofa.
"What's wrong, Nee?" Xany asked as she followed me.
"Stomach hurts a bit. I'm fine, it's just been a long day," I said and pulled a blanket around my shoulders as I sat. Sometimes it annoyed me when Xany babied me, but today I felt like accepting it.
"Oh, Caden, Hank asked me to tell you that there are a few travelers passing through the area. They're a couple of wolves going by the names Sander and Eva. White folk. He caught them at the edge of our territory when Jack nearly attacked them during a hunt. He's suspicious of them and monitoring their movements. They seem to be making their way south," Gene said as Mal helped her pack up the last of the bags.
"Thanks, Gene. We'll keep an eye out, too," Caden said.
She nodded and plucked Cote off his shoulder. "All right, we better get going. Hank and the boys are roasting elk for dinner tonight. I'm sure I'll return to an interesting mess." She grinned.
"Save the skins. Shawnee has been asking for some," Mal said.
Gene glanced at me and I nodded. "Big ones," I said and held my hands apart.
"You got it," she said through her laughter. "Enjoy the rest of your day, everyone. We'll see you at the ceremony. Thanks for your help, Mal," Gene said as she ushered Cote out of the cabin. Cote waved his healed hand vigorously on the way out.
I groaned at the reminder that we were all supposed to go to Hank's house later in the week for a ceremony where Caden would announce Xany as his mate. It's formally informal, if that were such a thing, but it's necessary for Alphas to declare this to their Sept. It seemed kind of soon to announce their union. After all, they'd only been together for a few months at most.
"He calls you his 'magic doctor,' Nee." Caden grinned and went back to cooking. Mal chuckled and began to set the table. I shook my head at both of the guys just as Xany put her cheek against my forehead.
"You don't feel warm," she said, her voice tinged with worry.
"I'm not sick, Xee. And besides, Breeders don't get fevers. This is usually when I would grab a few beers and drink myself to sleep." I closed my eyes and leaned back against the cushions. The idea of sleep was more appealing than alcohol right now.
"Well you don't need that anymore, NeeNee. You haven't in months and months," she said.
It's true. It seems I'd left my alcohol addiction back in Wyoming. Every now and then I still have cravings or urges, but nothing like before. It surprised me in a way. Drinking was something that I relied on, even if I hated to admit it.
"I know. It's almost easier without it. Less headaches." I offered Xany the best half-smile that I could muster up.
"You used to drink?" Mal asked from behind us where he placed the last of the glasses on the table.
"Like a fish. Only at night though, to help me sleep." My stomach churned at the thought of his disapproval of my previous lifestyle. I'd never thought to mention it to him before. It seemed like a non-issue, at least now.
"What changed?" he asked, his tone gentle as he leaned over the back of the sofa.
"It's not as scary here and I'm hardly ever alone when I feel really bad. Xany usually feels it and pops in to keep me company if you and Vanessa aren't around." I smiled at Xany who giggled and hugged me again. I gave her a gentle squeeze.
"Is Vanessa coming home for lunch?" Caden asked as he placed some of the cooked food on the table.
"Um...she should be," I said, and glanced at the clock. My stomach lurched when I noticed it was nearly 2:00 p.m. and Vanessa wasn't here yet. Xany sensed my worry and gave me another squeeze.
"She's only like thirty seconds late, Nee," Xany said. I huffed.
"We'll assume she'll be here then," Caden said.
The guys started gesturing to each other, though neither of them spoke. I frowned and looked back to Xany.
"Isn't it great when they leave us out?" She crossed her arms over her chest.
"We'll have to come up with our own secret girl language so we can leave them out," I said.
"Yeah! And we can call it ShaXee." She grinned.
Just as Caden put the rest of the food on the table, Vanessa sauntered out of my bedroom. All eyes were on the graceful feline who barely made a sound as her feet hit the floor. Vanessa leaned over the back of the sofa on the other side of me to bury her face in my hair. I was overwhelmed with comfort while sandwiched between my mates.
"Hi baby," I whispered.
"Hi."
I stroked her cheek as she wrapped her arms around my torso and hugged me. "You sound sleepy," I said.
She nodded and leaned around to catch me in a delicate, timid kiss. The heat of Mal's body faded as he moved away from me. I nibbled her lip a little before pulling away.
"Let's go eat," I said. "Caden made one of your favorites."
Rattling purrs erupted from Vanessa's chest as she nodded and offered me a hand. With her guidance, I walked around the sofa and joined the others at the table. Her face lit up when Caden served her a plateful of shrimp. He loaded mine up with fries just how I like it.
"Thanks." I grinned at him and sat between my mates.
"Don't get too full, Nee. I'm taking you to dinner tonight," Mal said before eating a shrimp.
"Oh..." I said, worried that I'd forgotten our plans. "Did I know this?"
"No," he said with a full mouth and chuckled after he swallowed.
Xany poured everyone iced tea and Vanessa a glass of milk. Mal put his hand on my thigh and rubbed. Vanessa's almost as exhausted as you are. His voice popped into my head. I glanced at him to make sure he wasn't speaking out loud before concentrating on answering him back.
I know. I'm a... I mean, it's a heavy emotional burden on her sometimes. Cats aren't really good with expressing themselves verbally. If she's confused, or upset, or anything, she won't speak and you have to kind of figure out what's going on. Xany helped with that this morning, I told him.
He grew quiet while the others talked about going for an evening swim in the lake. Vanessa cringed at the thought and looked at me. I laughed. "You don't have to swim, Ness." I patted her on the shoulder.
"Or get wet?" she asked through her purring.
"Or get wet." I grinned and quirked a brow at her. She stared at me for a moment, her cheeks tinged pink and then swatted my arm.
"Ow! What'd I do?" I batted my lashes. She smil
ed. Sometimes it's so easy to lift her spirits.
***
Mal took me to dinner at the tavern in town. Despite my nervousness over leaving Vanessa behind, she seemed content to curl up in my bed and sleep. The heat of the day eased with the setting of the sun and left a warm evening breeze. As we walked down the main street, I realized that this was the first time Mal and I would spend a significant amount of time alone—and away from the cabin. He held the door open for me when we reached the tavern.
"Such chivalry, thank you," I said and walked past him into the dimly lit pub. His choice in restaurants boosted my confidence a bit, mainly because it was casual and required no additional demureness on my part. I hated dressing up. Especially since I had nothing to get dressed up in that wasn't traditional regalia.
"You're very welcome." Mal nodded to the tawny-haired waiter who waved at him when we entered. He then led us toward a table in the back. Only a few patrons sat at the bar watching a football game while a quiet couple sat at a table and shared a meal. The wood-paneled walls seemed to melt in the shimmering yellow light. It took me a minute to note that the fixtures were candle lanterns rather than artificial lighting.
"Whoops. Sorry." I nearly tripped over Mal when he stepped in front of me to pull out my chair.
"Easy there, killer." He laughed and gestured for me to sit. I wasn't used to being the sole focus of his attention but I had to admit, I was starting to really enjoy it. The waiter placed the menus in front of us then clapped Mal on the shoulder before heading back to the kitchen.
"You know him?" I asked.
"His name is Foster. He's a Sept member," Mal said as he picked up the menu.
"Hank has connections everywhere it seems." Even though I already knew what I wanted, I browsed the menu. It seemed like the most appropriate thing to do. Foster returned with glasses of water and a basket full of warm bread. Just the smell of it made my stomach rumble. I couldn't remember the last time I had freshly baked bread. Mal and I both ordered sodas to start. Foster walked off again and I set my menu down.
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