"It's just a slur, Xee, like cats calling wolves dogs," I said. I didn't want Vanessa any more upset than she already was. She rubbed my arms then leaned forward and sniffed me suddenly. I watched as her eyes bugged out of her head and she glared at Mal.
Just then, Caden entered the cabin. He looked shaken and his gaze fell on me rather intently just like Hank's did before. I frowned at him and turned to address my pack as they stood rigidly in the kitchen.
"You're all behaving very strangely," I said.
Mal joined us on the sofa as Caden took a seat on the coffee table in front of us. Xany stood beside him, fidgeting and avoiding my gaze. Vanessa looked between everyone and put her arm across my lap in a protective gesture.
"Why did that wolf attack Vanessa, Caden?" I asked a bit demandingly.
"Did you recognize her at all, Shawnee?" he asked.
"No. The only thing I recognized was her taking a bite out of Vanessa's leg." I frowned as the heat of anger rose up my middle. Caden never came across this way and Mal was not usually this quiet.
"She is a powerful dominant," Caden said. "We had a difficult time calming her down."
"I noticed. Who was it?" I asked. "Stop being weird, you're scaring me."
"It was Ann, Imogene's friend," he answered me this time.
"Didn't Gene tell her that Vanessa was an ally? She was around us all night without incident," I said.
"She did," Caden said and glanced to Mal. It seemed like he was having a hard time getting out whatever it was he was trying to say.
"Shawnee," Mal said finally. "When Caden and Hank tried to calm Ann down she kept saying that Vanessa 'smelled of her flesh.'"
"So? What does that even mean?" I spat.
"Calm down, NeeNee, no one is blaming Vanessa for anything," Xany said. She must've picked up on my anger.
"No, why should I calm down? You're all acting really strange and surrounding me and Vanessa like...like...I don't know, but it's pissing me off," I said, and took Vanessa by the hand. I urged her to stand with me and led her toward my room.
"Tla, Shawnee, wait," Mal said.
"No, not until you tell me what's going on." I turned around to face him. Vanessa stood beside me, squeezing my hand. Her silence told me that she hadn't a clue what was going on either.
"Vanessa, tell us again what Ann said when she attacked you," Caden implored.
"She said that I was a flesh eating jungle cat and that I smelled like a doe-dee," she said in a matter-of-fact kind of way.
"And doe-dee is what?" Caden asked.
"How should I know? She shouted at me in a different tongue after that," Vanessa said. I glanced at her when she gave the new detail. Vanessa was notorious for leaving out important facts.
"She speaks Cherokee," Caden said. "We figured out that much."
"Why do so many people speak Cherokee around here?" Xany interjected. "It's not like it's some sort of common language that's taught in schools."
"Only three people do, Xany, four including this new one." Mal's tone was chastising.
I listened to them. As my rage began to cool, my brain started working a little better. Doe-dee wasn't a Cherokee word but I had to admit it sounded familiar. I repeated it over and over in my head until some clarity came to me.
"It's not a word," I said.
"What is it then?" Caden said.
"A name, or a nickname," I said and looked between them.
"Shawnee," Mal said as he stepped closer to me. He took my hand and pulled me toward the sofa. Vanessa let me go and I sat beside him.
"You're scaring me," I told him. They were scaring me. My pack never acted this way and never treated me so intensely. At least not when I wasn't freaking out anyway.
"I know. Remember that day when we were by the lake and you told me how your mom died?" he asked.
"Yes, I remember..."
"What was her name?" he asked.
"My mom's name?"
"Yes."
"She was called Walks-with-Spirits because she could commune with our ancestors and spirits and stuff, but her given name was Anadaya," I said. Why did it matter?
"Did you see her die that day when the White Coats came?" he asked.
"Yes," I answered quickly. He knew I didn't like talking about that and couldn't understand why he was asking these questions so deliberately.
"Are you sure?" he asked.
"They threw silver chainmail over her, Mal, and dragged her away. She had to have died," I said.
"Shawnee, listen to what I'm asking you without making assumptions." His tone was rather firm.
"Tla," I said, and shook my head. I didn't want to think about what he was asking me to think about.
"Shawnee, what did your mom call you when you were little?" he pressed, his fingers digging into my hands a bit.
I returned his squeeze and noticed his palms were a bit clammy. I looked up at him and tilted my head. Anxiety bounced around in my chest but then I realized it wasn't mine. "She called me Shawnee," I said and shook my head again.
"Tla, stubborn. What did she call you?" he said and turned my chin to him to catch my gaze. I pursed my lips. I didn't want the things he was saying to make any sort of sense. It couldn't be.
"She called me Dodi," I muttered. Doe-dee and Dodi were not the same thing. Not the same thing at all. It couldn't be.
"And a woman named Ann just accused your girlfriend of smelling like her Dodi," Caden said.
"She's not my mother, Caden. My mom is dead. If she wasn't she would have found me a long time ago. The Andrus killed her just like they killed a million others," I said and stood up. "How can any of you believe this? I've seen Ann twice, once at the store, and today. I would have recognized my own mother," I said. My pulse boomed in my ears and anger surged through me like wicked bits of lightening. How dare they assume this? How could they even think of giving me false hope? Now I knew how Barron felt when Melinda betrayed him.
"NeeNee, just listen." Xany took a step toward me.
"No. All of you listen. I can't deal with this, okay? I just can't. Maybe the Andrus sent a doppelganger or something here to get me to give up the formula for that serum and of course they would know that attacking Vanessa first would get my attention," I said.
"How would they even link that to your mom, Nee?" Xany said.
"No, just—no," I said and rushed off to my room. I slammed the door and dropped down on my bed.
Tricks, more tricks. I told you no one would believe you.
The echoes in my head battered me. I let them. They'd been gone for so long and now they were back with a vengeance. My pack was trying to tell me that my mother, my dead mother, was somewhere outside the house after having spent a good portion of the night beating on my girlfriend. I swiped at my eyes when hot tears slid down my cheeks.
After a few moments in silence, my anger was replaced by fear. Mal and Caden wouldn't lie to me. I trusted them didn't I? After tonight with Mal... He wouldn't lie to me. Even before that he wouldn't lie. I knew he was telling me the truth; I sensed it deep inside of me. He wouldn't let anyone hurt me. I expected Vanessa to follow me into my room and got angry again when she didn't. I sat up on the bed and wiped my eyes.
Why would my mother appear now? Why now and not before when I really needed her? My father killed her. I watched him do it. I watched him have her killed.
No one will believe you.
He was right. No one believed me. Not even my own pack. My own mate. I slammed my hands down on the bed in frustration and my pair of leather dolls bounced up in the air then tumbled to the floor. I watched them lie on the carpet side-by-side. Carefully, I picked them up and held one in each hand.
Ann makes them. She made one for my daughter for her crib and I said she should sell them in the shop. They're one of the most popular items we carry now.
I heard Imogene's voice echo in my head from the day when I bought the new doll. I turned both dolls upside down and lifted the little dresses. My old d
oll still had my name scrawled in Cherokee symbols along the leg. On the new doll, in the same exact spot, the carefully drawn ink of Ann's signature. Two feathers linked together. My heart skipped a beat when I compared the dolls. Every stitch, every line, was the same. I closed my eyes as the memory took me over...
"E-he-na, Dodi, come see what e-tsi has made you." I hear my mother say. She crouches in front of me and hands me the leather doll. "She will keep you safe in the night when you are scared," she says.
I look to my mother with a smile after accepting the doll. "Wa-do," I thank her. Our gazes meet, amber eyes meeting amber eyes, and I gasp.
I tore myself from the memory and stood, both dolls pressed to my chest. I closed my eyes. It could be true. It might just be. After a moment and a deep breath, I returned to the main room where the others were still gathered. I went to Mal first and held the dolls out to him, pointing out the writing on each. He took the dolls from me then met my gaze.
"I don't believe in coincidences," he told me.
My eyes welled with tears.
"She has eyes like yours, Shawnee," Caden said. Xany sat in his lap and he looked more emotional than I'd ever seen him. I turned my gaze to Vanessa, who nodded.
"She feels like you, NeeNee," Xany said. I glanced to Xany before looking back to Vanessa. I wanted to hear what she had to say as well.
"I believe them." Her voice was barely a whisper. Mal gave me back the dolls and I held them. All the anger had left me and now all I had was fear.
"He said no one would believe me," I said.
"Who said?" Mal asked.
"My father said no one would believe me if I told what he did to my mom." I looked between them. "No one believes me."
"Shawnee, we do believe that you saw your mother get taken by the White Coats. The question remains as to whether she actually died or you assumed she did," Caden said. With narrowed eyes, I watched him. He was right.
"Twenty years ago..."
"Yes, that's a long time," he said.
"Why now? Why tonight?" On top of everything else. Why tonight?
"She was probably with the Andrus for years before breaking free. She might've tracked you, but it's not easy to track a lone Breeder who is constantly sterilized from working in a hospital. You're in a pack now, Shawnee, your energy is stronger," Caden said.
"Is that the story she told you?" I asked.
"No, we assumed. We didn't have to ask. I could smell your blood in her veins," Caden said, finally revealing what he'd been holding on to. Caden could sense bloodlines and his sense was never wrong. I wiped my eyes and held the dolls tighter to my chest. Vanessa moved to wrap her arms around me and Mal took position beside me and stroked my hair.
"I don't know what to do," I admitted.
"She doesn't know you're really here. She thinks Vanessa just carries your scent. She apologized and said she had smelled her daughter in several places and had made mistakes before," Caden said.
"I walked past her that day at the shop and then she was around here all afternoon," I said.
"We left the shop abruptly and you know how it always smells like incense. And you've smelled like sage all day today and still do. If she's used to scenting bits of you, this stuff will matter and interfere with her senses, a-ua-tse-li," Mal explained and followed with his new nickname for me. My body warmed at the memory of our lovemaking under the willow tree. I put my arm around his waist and he returned the gesture.
"What'd you call her?" Xany looked at Mal with a furrowed brow.
"A-ua-tse-li." He snarled a bit at Xany.
"Mirror?" She gawked.
"Mine," I corrected. Xany giggled at us and mouthed, "Aww." I smirked at her but brought my attention back to the matter at hand before I got too embarrassed. "What do we do now?" I asked.
"Hank is with her outside. Most of the powwow has broken up by now except for a few lingerers," Caden said.
"Did I hurt her?" Vanessa asked.
"No, she's okay," Caden said.
"Let's bring her in here," Xany suggested.
"Shawnee?" Caden asked.
"I don't want this. I don't." I shook my head while my stomach did all sorts of flip-flops and circus tricks. Mal and Vanessa both hugged me at the same time, squishing me between them like a Changer sandwich.
"This might be your only chance to find out, Nee," Caden said. I held my breath for a moment. I had to find out, didn't I? What if she was my mother? I lost her once. I couldn't lose her again. If she wasn't, then, well, I haven't lost anything at all. Except maybe hope.
"Fine."
"Are you sure?" Vanessa whispered in my ear.
"What choice do I have?" I whispered back.
"You always have a choice." She lifted a brow at me.
"So I've heard..."
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Xany and Caden disappeared outside, leaving Mal, Vanessa, and me in the main room. Mal lit a fire and I sat beside it, the leather dolls resting on my lap. I put my head down on my knees and waited for the others to return.
"Do you think she can handle it?" I overheard Vanessa ask him in a faint whisper.
"In the moment, yes," he said. "It's after that we need to be concerned about."
Vanessa crouched down beside me and stroked my hair. I wanted to tell her that I didn't think I could handle it, but I didn't want to scare her. She smiled at me when I peeked up at her. All I wanted to do was curl up in her arms and never move. I imagined how it would feel to lie in the woods with both Mal and Vanessa. The thought was comforting.
After a few minutes, the front door opened and Caden stepped inside. Xany, Imogene, Hank, and Ann followed behind. Gene held Ann's hand and Xany seemed to glow as she watched her. The door shut but I remained by the fire. Vanessa stood up when the others came in and Ann snarled at her before clearing her throat.
"Easy there now. Miss Vanessa is an ally like I've explained," Hank said.
Ann nodded apologetically before moving with Gene toward the main room. I watched the scene without moving. I didn't recognize the woman who had long black hair with a gray streak on the right side. My mom didn't have gray hair. She also didn't wear blue jeans like this woman. The white tunic though, that my mom would wear, and the beaded wolf paw in the center seemed all too familiar. I stroked the wolf paw on the sleeve of my dress and sat up a little straighter.
When Ann spotted me, she seemed to freeze. My legs twitched as I fought the urge to run. Gene let go of Ann's hand and everyone remained silent as they watched us.
I continued to look her over. Simple leather moccasins covered her feet. It took all the effort I could muster up to lift my eyes and meet her gaze. When I saw her eyes, my body suddenly seemed heavy, as if I were being sucked into the earth. Her amber eyes glimmered as her emotions rushed to the surface. She was calm and controlled even though I could see the chaos hidden in her expression. Her eyes were like a mirror to mine, ethereal and almost inhuman.
I couldn't move. Couldn't break the stare. But when her thin lips curved into a soft smile, recognition hit me like a wrecking ball. I blinked and imagined what her lips would look like saying "e-he-na, Dodi," as they had several times before. It fit, all of it fit. I could see her lips moving even though they weren't and I could no longer fight the urge to run. My body had me bolting toward the far side of the room. Vanessa went to follow me but Mal slipped his arm around her middle and kept her in place. Ann's nostrils flared and she covered her mouth. She recognized me and my scent. I pressed my back against the wall as she took a step closer to me. I wanted to keep running, but everyone was by the door. There was nowhere to go. Flashes of memory assaulted and blinded me. I saw my mom, I saw Ann, with silver chainmail tossed over her body, searing into her face and flesh. I heard her screaming and telling me to run. I cried as I watched the silver melt into her, burning and hissing. As suddenly as it came, the memory disappeared. I sunk to the floor, my eyes on my mother, with my dolls in my lap. She approached me, her footfalls making
no sound.
"E-he-na, Dodi, do not be afraid," she said.
It took me a moment to realize she was actually speaking. I was too used to the echoes. Her voice was perfectly identical to the one in my dreams and memories. She knelt down in front of me, gesturing to what I had in my lap.
"What have you there?" Her voice was soft, unwavering.
This time it was I who searched her expression. I was five years old in that moment, but it was familiar to be five. I turned the dolls over to show her. With delicate and slow movements, she lifted the dolls from me. Silent tears streamed down her cheeks but she was smiling.
"You kept this for nighttime, yes? No more fear, Dodi," she whispered. My breath caught in my throat as she validated the memory. I nodded faintly as my own tears fell.
"E-he-na. Come to e-tsi." She held her hands out as she beckoned me.
I was frozen, and again I couldn't tell if I was having a memory or if it was really happening. I drew my eyes away from her toward the others. Vanessa had her head on Mal's shoulder. Her eyes were reddened from crying. Xany held her breath while she watched and Caden stood beside her with his chest puffed out as he often did when something big was going on. Hank was hugging Gene, who also had tears streaming down her cheeks. Mal nodded to me and I heard his voice burst into my head.
I'm here. We all are.
I looked back to Ann, my mother, who still had her hands outstretched to me. This was a dream. Everything was a dream. My happiness was just a dream, a trick.
"He killed you," I whispered.
"Tla, he tried to kill me, Dodi." She shook her head and moved one hand to lift my chin so that I would meet her gaze. "He became a very, very bad man."
I nodded. She'd said the one thing I needed to hear her say. Everything seemed to explode inside me and I started to cry. She was my mother and I knew it, saw it, and heard it. My body unlocked as I gasped for breath. She lifted me clear off the floor and pulled me close. Her body trembled more violently than mine. I clung to her and screamed into her shoulder like the crazed and terrified five-year-old that I wasn't. She gripped my hair and cried with me, though her tears were silent. She smelled the same as she always had, like sweet grass and fresh leather with a hint of wind in her hair.
Birthrite (Legacy Series Book 2) Page 27