Wrapped in her embrace, everything else in the room faded away. Weakness and fatigue drowned me as my crying subsided. She spoke softly to me, always in Cherokee, and told me a story about how Gaia created rainbows. It was as if no time had passed at all. Other than the silver streaks in her hair, she looked the same, smelled the same, and her voice sounded the same. I didn't fit as easily into her arms as I used to but it was just as nice. When she finished her story, I was calm and looked over her shoulder at my mates. Vanessa continued to hug Mal while they sat on the sofa. My mother followed my gaze then looked back at me.
"You have a good pack family," she whispered.
I nodded and rubbed my lips against the soft cotton of her tunic. I didn't want to wake up from this dream.
"E-he-na, we must join them," she said and stood, guiding me with her.
She held my hand and led me over to the sofa where we sat beside my mates. Xany giggled suddenly when the emotional tone of the room became lighter. My body was suddenly light as if I'd been floating for several hours and when I sat, my mother guided me to lean against her. Vanessa reached over and touched my face carefully.
"I'm sorry for hurting you," my mother said to Vanessa, who watched her cautiously before nodding.
"She didn't eat me," I told her. My head seemed empty, as if no thoughts could possibly enter. The shock of the whole situation had me under its spell.
"I'm glad." She stroked my cheek.
Caden chuckled lightly. "Good thing," he said. "We might've had to call half the country to subdue you if she had."
"That may be true." Ann responded with a smile.
"What is your given name, Ann?" Hank said.
"Anadaya Twofeathers, you can call me Ana." She spoke slowly, deliberately, and a kind smile never left her face.
I sat quietly and listened to her speak. The very sound of her voice lulled me and I turned to rest against her. Anadaya Twofeathers; her name echoed in my head. I didn't want to stop feeling like I was five. I didn't want to wake up from this dream.
"Is that why you sign your work with two feathers?" Gene asked.
"Yes." She nodded to Imogene. "Had it not been for you, Gene, I might have never found my Dodi. Thank you."
"How did you get away? Where did you come from? How did you find Shawnee?" Xany's questioning was relentless.
"It is not a very magical story. Shawnee was there the day Victor called the White Coats on me. He had become stricken with taint," she began. Her words were articulate and purposeful, mingled with the moderate accent of her native tongue. "As many were, after our Chief Alpha was slain. The Breeders were more vulnerable to the kind of taint that raced through our small numbers. I was left in charge. Victor was not happy. I was planning to take Shawnee and leave him. He stopped that from happening by calling the White Coats. They outnumbered us, and captured me and another. They took us to a place where they held us captive, took our blood, our fur, anything they could. We were kept in rooms lined with silver. It was many years of this treatment. I spent most of my time communing with the spirits who helped keep me strong and hopeful that I would be able to get back to my Dodi. Then, one day, the cell went dark. We were able to escape and found that the building had been closed down, ransacked. It was somewhere in Arizona. I returned to the home of our reservation pack and found nothing but ruins. I tracked Victor and Shawnee's scents to an isolated trailer park in Wyoming..." Her gaze darted over to Vanessa before returning to Xany. "The scents ran cold. Victor is dead, thankfully, but I never stopped looking for Shawnee. The problem was...she was everywhere. I sensed her everywhere. When it rained, or snowed. At schools or playgrounds. On farms or in the desert. I have been searching for five years. Once, I caught her scent mingled with that of a jungle cat, but it was soon gone. I didn't know how important that scent was until tonight." She brushed her lips over my forehead and smiled.
"That's a long time," Caden said.
"Many many moons I've searched. The spirits told me she was alive, but it is not their duty to lead, only to suggest. I spent many moons asleep in the cold mountains waiting for the warmer weather to begin searching again. For many years I found nothing, until about six months ago when the winter thawed, the spirits told me to look in the forests. Stick to the forests, they said. In the forests, I found packs, several small packs. I continued on that path until I ended up here. I met Imogene one day in her shop and I thought I sensed Shawnee there, so I stayed. And I made things and waited. I began to enjoy the company of Gene and her children and thought maybe I should stay here, maybe I should rest. Then tonight, I smelled the jungle cat again and there we have the ending," Ana finished rather abruptly.
"You made those dolls in the shop, like you made that one for Shawnee," Xany said.
"Yes, the children reminded me of her. I thought I might make them and think of my Dodi," she responded.
"Well it worked," Xany said with a giggle as she smiled at me. "I recognized you when you shifted back to human. Shawnee has pictures of you in her trunk."
I smiled when I heard Xany though inside, my thoughts and echoes were quiet. And if possible, all of my emotions seemed nicely laced together. I had to be in shock.
"How are you doing with all this, Shawnee?" Caden asked.
I stared at him for a moment. "I don't know. Tired." My mother stroked my hair as I breathed in her scent.
"Maybe we should call it a night, aye, Caden?" Hank suggested as he and Gene stood.
Caden nodded. "We may have to take some time with this. Thank you, Hank, for all your help," he said.
"O'course!" he said, before shaking Caden's hand, then reaching for Ana's. "It's nice ter have yer here, Miss Anadaya."
"Your kindness is appreciated. Wa-do, for your help," she said to Hank and then smiled at Imogene, who was beaming happily as they left.
Mal moved to sit beside me and placed his hand on mine. He smiled softly and squeezed my hand. "This has been a lot for her," he told Ana.
"Yes. I can feel it," she said.
"You're welcome to stay with us, Ana. As long as you and Shawnee can agree to it, and if you can avoid trying to bite off the leg of our werecat," Caden said through a grin.
"I think I can promise that," she said with an affectionate smile to Vanessa, who was curled up at the end of the sofa.
"What do you think, Shawnee?" Mal asked.
"Stay." I glanced between them.
"Then she will stay," Mal said.
I closed my eyes and listened to my mother's heartbeat thudding in her chest. My instinct to sleep after enduring so much stress kicked in. As I drifted, tears burned in my eyes until everything went dark.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
"She won't remember," I heard Vanessa whisper.
"How can you be sure?" Mal asked.
"Trust me," she said.
I woke up to the sound of my whispering mates, curled up in Mal's arms in his bedroom with Vanessa beside us. He wore only his loincloth and for a moment I thought we were still in the woods. Instinctively, I leaned up and kissed him.
"Well, hello there." He smiled after the kiss.
"Mmmm hi," I said sleepily. "What were you saying?"
"What's the last thing you remember, Shawnee?" Vanessa asked.
I sat up and looked between them. Vanessa seemed worried but Mal looked as relaxed as he had in the woods. "Why?"
"Just think."
I scooted so that I was sitting in Mal's lap with my legs across Vanessa's. Without hesitation, she moved her hand up my leg, nudging back my dress. I playfully narrowed my eyes at Mal. "Did you tell her?"
He laughed. "Nope. She's asking about something else."
"Tell me what?" Vanessa asked. Her legs bounced beneath me, which triggered my memory.
"Your leg..." I said. She nodded. I held my breath for a moment to take it in. "Is it all true?" I asked Mal.
"It's true."
"I don't believe it. Any of it. I must be sick, or in a coma, or something." I turned t
o look out the window. "This has all been a dream."
"It's all real, love," Mal said.
Vanessa looked at him funny when she heard the nickname. I turned back to him. "Promise?"
"I promise," he said and pulled me into a hug. I was scared and uncertain. All of these things that happened seemed unreal, the good and the bad, though I worried more about the good things being an illusion. He turned me in his lap and tucked my legs around his waist. Vanessa moved closer and put her hand on my thigh again.
"Where is she?" I asked.
"In the kitchen with Caden and Xany," Mal said.
"I don't think I can handle this. My stomach feels sick," I said as Vanessa snuck her hand farther up my leg.
"You have no panties on," she said suddenly.
My cheeks caught fire. I'd forgotten about that little detail. "I was in a hurry," I said feebly.
Mal tried to suppress a grin. "You can handle it, Shawnee. I know you can," he said.
I nodded to him and rested my forehead against his. I took a deep breath and thought about last night. So much had happened. I was still having trouble believing it. My mother, whom I thought I'd watched die over twenty years ago, was somewhere in my kitchen after escaping the Andrus. What would she think when she found out that I had worked for them? What would she think when she found out about how bad my father really was?
"Why don't you have any panties on?" Vanessa interrupted my thoughts.
"We'll talk about it later, baby, I promise." I caressed her cheek. I knew she was worried, and interested at the same time. "I'm going to have a shower, then I'll face...whatever I have to face."
I kissed them both before heading off to the bathroom to shower and dress, grateful that I had left my clean laundry in there. I tried to push every thought I had out of my head, though I couldn't keep up with the bombardment. How could all these good things happen to me? Finding a place where I'm happy, finding not one mate but two, getting a new job, rescuing people, then my mom is miraculously alive. It's just not possible. I don't deserve all of this goodness. So many bad things had happened to me, why now was everything changing?
I finished getting dressed and after pulling my hair back into a ponytail, I exited the bathroom only to be met with the scent of frying bacon and the sound of my pack chattering in the kitchen. I waited by the bathroom door to see if I could hear my mother's voice.
All of this is a dream.
When I heard nothing other than my pack mates, I walked to the kitchen with my arms wrapped around myself. Caden and Mal were helping Xany cook up a feast while Vanessa was in her usual spot, lounging in the armchair. Xany was the first to greet me.
"I made a ton of home fries just for you, NeeNee." She bounced over to hug me.
"Thanks, Xee." I returned her hug halfheartedly.
I didn't see my mom until I noticed that Vanessa was busy watching something by the hearth. A docile-looking wolf was lying on the carpet. Her fur was brown and black with a white undercoat, but the most distinct feature was the silver streak that ran from the tip of her nose to the end of her tail. Her amber eyes followed her into wolf form. Another feral wolf. My eyes welled up as I recognized her and it scared me. Part of me wanted to run out of the house, the other part wanted to run to her.
"She's been there all morning," Xany said. "Quietly waiting."
"Okay." My mother's wolf didn't look at me, but I noticed her tail thumped every time I spoke.
"Vanessa told me what you said about not believing in anything right now. Don't be stubborn," Xany lectured.
I huffed at her.
"Some people might kill for a second chance, NeeNee. Maybe Gaia is giving you a blessing. Suck it up and deal," Xany whispered before heading back to the kitchen, leaving me to make my own decisions.
I felt Mal's eyes on me and when I looked at him, he gave me a faint nod. I took a deep breath and walked over to the hearth, sitting down beside the wolf and resting my chin on my knees. The entire cabin seemed to be holding its breath. She lifted her gaze to meet mine. I couldn't help but smirk. The wolf rose from her position, brushing against me as she walked a slow circle around until she sat on her haunches facing me. I watched her. I imagined she must've spent a lot of time in her wolf form. She seemed comfortable yet with an air of nobility that my mom always carried. She tilted her head at me, but I kept still and watched her. After a moment, she lowered her head, narrowing her eyes at me in a chastising manner.
"Tla," I said.
She sat to full height quickly as if surprised by my response. She bared her teeth this time then leaned down and nipped my arm, which of course, made me laugh a little. I put my head down on my arms and continued to watch her. She was convincing, I had to admit. Returning to her seated position, I watched as her body began to melt and contort. Her change was faster than I expected, and a moment later, Ana, my mother, dressed in the same clothing she had on last night, sat cross-legged in the same spot as her wolf. I held my breath as I watched my mother appear before my eyes as I had done a thousand times before her...disappearance.
"Since when do you disobey me, Dodi?" she asked.
"You're not real. This is a trick," I answered.
"It must be a very good trick then, yes?" She quirked a brow.
"Very good. Maybe you're stolen magic, too," I said and glanced to Vanessa, who shook her head no.
"It is not proper to doubt Gaia." She placed a hand on my knee. "Where is my cub?"
"Lost..." I said and looked away from her to stare into the fire. There was no way to hide my tears with her this close.
"Who has broken your spirit?"
I shrugged, and kept my gaze averted. I didn't deserve this gift, if it truly was a gift. I've wanted my mother more than anything my entire life and now, here she is. I fought the urge to lunge into her arms. But how could I? I'm an adult.
"Are you angry with me?" Her voice remained soft.
"No." I shook my head a bit.
"Then why are you angry?"
"Because I didn't listen to you. I didn't run. I didn't get help." And you weren't there to protect me.
She grew quiet as I drew my eyes back toward her. She'd just managed to catch Caden's gaze when Mal walked over and crouched beside me.
"I'm going to go for a walk," I told him and stood. "I really want to be here with everyone, I really do, but I need a moment to clear my head."
"All right, love. You don't have to explain," he said.
I ran my hand across his middle and avoided looking at anyone as I exited the cabin. I took a sluggish walk toward the lake to my usual spot by the rock. I felt guilty about leaving my mom behind but I couldn't help it. If I accepted that she was, in fact, alive and home with me again, I'd have to face everything all over again and the responsibility of defying her in the first place. If I'd just listened, maybe someone could've stopped the Andrus from taking her and the other person she mentioned. I couldn't help but wonder who it was.
It's not your fault. Mal's voice rang out clear inside my head before I felt his hand press on my back.
"It is. It's my fault because I didn't listen to her and now I'll have to tell her that and tell her what happened because of it. I could've run for help," I said.
He moved behind me and wrapped his arms around my middle, his chin resting on my head. "It's not your fault," he repeated.
"I should have run." My voice tangled with a heavy sigh. His embrace soothed the weariness in my body.
"It's not your fault." His voice pressed heavily against my ear. By the third repetition, I'd melted into him, hugging his arms to me. I watched as my tears trickled onto his hand before rolling to the ground.
"I don't know what to believe anymore," I whispered.
"Do you believe in me?" he asked.
"Yes." I did believe in him, and in Vanessa, too.
"If you believe in me, then you've got to believe in everything else because I can't exist if nothing else does, see?"
"Such a philosopher.
" I sniffled.
I felt his smile against my cheek. "Even if this was all a dream, isn't it worth it to enjoy it?"
"I'm worried about what I'll wake up to." I turned slightly to place a soft kiss on his cheek.
"I won't let you wake up. I'll steal some fairy magic and keep you under my spell."
I laughed through my tears. "I love you."
"I love you, too," he said and kissed my cheek. "It's not your fault."
"Isn't it partially?" I peeked up at him.
"Not even a little bit." He shook his head and gave me a squeeze around the middle.
"Things would have been different if I had run," I said and looked down at the shallows of water lapping against my boots.
"You'd want things to be different?" His question silenced me. "I'll take that as a no."
"I don't want things to be different," I said.
"If you knew then, that your life would end up like this, would you change anything?" He swayed with me a bit, rocking side to side as we looked out over the lake.
"I don't think I would. I think I'd go through it again to be here with you, and Vanessa, and the pack, and now my mom." I took a deep breath and decided that, despite everything, I would accept my mom and the consequences of my life choices.
"It wasn't your fault."
A warm, delicate set of fingers stroked my cheek before grasping my hand. Vanessa's purrs were soft and soothing. A smile broke over my lips. Nestled between my mates, I watched as the sun burst into view from behind the trees and cast a shimmering glare across the lake that ended right at our feet like a road toward its light.
"I know."
Birthrite (Legacy Series Book 2) Page 28