by Tabby Storm
“How long have you been a teacher?”
“This is my 6th year, but my first with 5th graders and my first year at this school and having my own classroom in San Francisco.”
“Wow, is it hard to have lots of new at once?”
“Yes, it is, but I love this age. 10 and 11 year olds are a bit sweeter than 13 and 14 year olds. Before this I taught 7th grade internationally.”
Kyle laughed.
“What’s funny?” Josie asked.
“I just remember being 13. My mom called me a Holy Terror.”
Josie smiled. “Well, yes, that can happen.”
“Where did you teach internationally?”
Josie smiled. “I taught in Cancun for 5 years. It was wonderful. But now it’s my turn to ask questions,” she said, tapping the table authoritatively.
“Ok, fair enough,” Kyle smiled, sipping his tea.
“How did you get my name on the bus handle today? Josie asked.
Kyle looked at her mischievously. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Josie smiled. “When I got on the bus I sat in the same seat as yesterday, and when I looked down I saw my name, JOSIE written on the handle of the chair in front of me.”
“Oh. Well, yeah. I did that.”
“But HOW, Kyle? The ink was still wet; I got some on my fingers!”
Kyle looked down, then up slowly. The effect made his adorable floppy hair fall in his face again. Josie felt a stirring of something go up her spine. He was so adorable. And his t-shirt fit him perfectly. He had some Captain America shoulders and muscular arms. Josie wanted to touch them. She swore at herself in her head. She wasn’t paying attention to him anymore, just imagining touching him.
“I don’t like to give away my secrets Josie.” He looked at her seriously for a minute. Josie just stared at him. He didn’t realize she had kind of lost her place in the conversation. She was just looking at his arm muscles.
Kyle broke into a grin. “Ok, ok. I had my friend Ben do it. He rides that bus every day. I was at his house the other night and had stayed over. I thought it would be funny.”
Josie smiled. “It wasn’t funny, really. But thank you. I thought it was, well, nice.”
“Do you want anything to drink, Josie?”
“Oh, yeah, yes. I had wanted to get your drink, to apologize for yesterday.”
“Oh no need, it really wasn’t a big deal. Let me get you something. What do you like?”
Josie ordered an iced chai tea latte and watched Kyle go up to the counter to get it. What a sweet guy. Again she found herself watching him move too much. For heaven’s sake, she thought. It had been a while. She hadn’t been with anyone romantically since she and James fell apart. It made perfect sense that she’d be drawn to a handsome man that was kind and paying attention to her.
Kyle returned with her drink and sat down, smiling some more. He set his wallet and a sketch book down on the table. She hadn’t noticed the sketch book before.
“Are you an artist as well as a musician?”
“Yeah, I like to doodle, but it’s just to mess around. I get bored without anything to do when I’m on the bus or waiting.”
“I’m sorry, were you waiting for me today? I thought I was on time.”
“Oh, no, no, you weren’t late. I just don’t like any down time. And I don’t do smartphones. I ditched mine. I realized how much of my time I was spending leaning over a tiny screen.”
Josie was astonished. “How do you keep up with your music business without a smartphone? Isn’t it hard in this day and age?”
“People do still answer phones, amazingly! And I can still text. So yeah, I get by.”
Josie smiled. “What do you doodle? Can I see some?” Somehow she was suddenly brave and touched his sketchbook. Maybe the fact that he was willing to live without a smartphone made her feel bold.
“Uhrm, okay. But I really just do this for myself. Sure, go ahead.”
He let her take his sketchbook. She took a sip of chai and opened up to a page in the beginning of the book. She gasped. It was a gorgeous drawing of a woman sitting on a bench in the park with one hand on a stroller. It looked exactly like a photograph. “Wow, Kyle.”
He looked down at the drawing. “Thanks. That was a nice moment. She looked so tired, but also really happy. I guessed that she had a new baby because it was all shrouded in there by blankets.” His face looked a little embarrassed, as he tentatively watched her as she flipped through his sketchbook.
Josie continued to turn pages and see incredible drawings with pencil, shaded perfectly. A drawing of two old men playing chess, one of Ocean Beach with gulls eating pieces of crab in the sand, another of roller skaters in Golden Gate Park.
Josie noticed a little change in the pit of her stomach, a kind of fluttery tightness. As she turned page after page of truly beautiful drawings, she realized she was feeling teary-eyed and got super embarrassed. Sometimes when she witnessed tender moments of human nature she got all swallowed up by a tide of feeling. She barely knew Kyle, but these drawings felt like she was reading his journal. She gently closed the book and slid it back to him with one hand. Keeping her eyes down for a moment she blinked extra, hoping it would make her tears disappear.
“Thank you, Kyle.”
“You’re welcome. What did I do?” he joked.
“That was really beautiful.”
“Oh, thanks. Yeah, well, it keeps me from being bored.”
“I wish I could draw like that,” Josie sighed.
“I took high school art. It was pretty cool. The art teacher had us work really hard on realism. He said ‘look for the shapes,’ and that’s what I still do.”
“You make it sound easy, but I’m pretty sure it’s not.”
Kyle smiled at her. His brown eyes were twinkling. He was so easy to talk to and look at. Kyle held her gaze for just a little longer than was comfortable and then took a sip of his iced tea.
“So, when did you start playing guitar and singing?
“The guys in the band and I all met in high school. We’ve been playing music together since then.”
“Did you grow up here in the city?”
“Yup. We were Hutton High kids, class of 2009.”
“That’s crazy. I went to Castillo, class of `09.”
“And we managed to meet on the bus 8 years later.”
“Yeah, it’s so weird how things work,” Josie sighed. “What kind of music do you guys play?”
“We’re kind of a little of everything. We play a lot of old music that we reproduce and make new for today’s sound. But I wish we played more of our original songs.”
“Why don’t you play them more?” Josie asked.
A look of anger quickly crossed Kyle’s face, and then he quickly smiled. It didn’t look like his other smiles, as he clearly didn’t like talking about this.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.”
“It’s okay; it’s just been tense with the guys lately, never mind.”
Josie was feeling uncomfortable about this. It was obvious this was a really sore subject and she didn’t know Kyle well enough to be getting so real. A subject change was highly needed.
“Oh, I meant to ask you, is your leather jacket okay? I mean, I want to pay for dry cleaning if it needs it.”
Kyle smiled. “Its fine, Josie. Thanks, though. Trust me; it’s not a big deal.”
Josie smiled back. They sat at the table quietly for a moment and it didn’t feel awkward. They just sat there quietly and each sipped their drink. Josie looked out the window to people watch, and out of the corner of her eye saw Kyle open his sketchbook and start to draw. Even though the idea made her a little nervous, Josie knew he must be sketching her. She continued to look out the window, making little sighs now and then, trying to make it look like she didn’t care if he was sketching her; she was just looking out the window and could do this for hours.
“You have a lovely nose.” Kyle said.
Josie turned to him and wrinkled it up.
“Ack, I’ve always hated my nose. It’s too curvy on the top and looks nothing like my mom or dad’s. It used to convince me that I was adopted.” She stopped for a moment to try to peek at Kyle’s drawing, but he caught on and tipped his chair back, grinning.
“It’s unique, like you. It fits you. Did you want to be adopted?”
“No, it was just a family joke. My older brother could be such a brat, sometimes I wished I had a different set of parents to dote on me. Or that he did, ha.”
Kyle smiled at her.
Josie smiled back and turned back to the window. She watched people wait at the bus stop on Divisadero. Some opened the SF Weekly bin and grab a paper, some texted on their phones, some listened to music with earbuds. It’s nice to just be quiet and watch, she thought.
They remained like this for some time. Once in a while one of them took a sip of their iced drink, but it was quiet except for Kyle’s pencil and hands moving on the paper of his sketchbook.
Josie was lost in her thoughts when Kyle slid the sketchbook in front of her. She picked it up gingerly, astonished at what she saw there. Here she was, but somehow he captured some elements of her that felt secret and hidden to her. He made her eyes look so innocent and young, maybe even naïve. But her expression was serious and focused. It looked exactly like her. She felt a little naked and exposed, but she also felt tender toward him, for seeing who she really was.
“I, uhrm, I’m surprised. Thank you for doing this.”
“Surprised?”
“Well, it’s quite personal, isn’t it?”
Kyle smiled. “I think it looks like you.”
“It does. I’m just surprised at how it’s more than a picture, more than a sketch.”
“More than a sketch?” It was exasperating how often he asked a question after everything she said. She wasn’t sure she was ready to explain what she saw in the sketch.
“It’s just like you know me. It looks like you’ve known me a long time, I guess.”
Kyle smiled. “I think you’re interesting, Josie. You look like you’ve been through some stuff, but it hasn’t changed you.” He smiled. He pulled the sketchbook over and tore it out. He wrote “For Josie” and handed the sketch to her.
Josie looked at him and tried not to stare. It was surprising how easy it was to talk to him, even if he asked a lot of questions. It had been a long time since she’d spent time with a man that was listening to her and focused on her. It was refreshing.
Kyle looked at his watch and then up at Josie. “Shit, I’ve got to go. Hey, we have a show at the Music Hall opening for White Mystery on Friday night. Want to come? I’d like to see you again.”
Josie blushed, but tried to hide it. She felt like one of her students. “I would really like that. Thanks for asking.”
“Cool. I’ll leave your ticket at Will Call. Our set starts at 8.” He started to gather his things up to go.
“I’m looking forward to hearing you play, Kyle. If your music is anything like your drawing, I’ll love it.” Josie took a sip of her chai.
Kyle smiled again, his floppy black hair falling in his eyes again. “I like our sound, but, um, yeah, I like our music.” He was looking down into his hands, shoving Divergent and a journal and sketchbook into his bag. “I’m just ready for us to take some more risks and to challenge ourselves.”
The look on Kyle’s face had changed. Josie sensed something he might not want to talk about. “Oh. Um. Ok. Did I say something wrong?”
Kyle looked at her. “I’m sorry. I sounded rude. I got in a fight last night at practice with Johnny. He’s my cousin and lead guitarist. I wish we played less covers, but he keeps reminding me ‘that’s what got us big.’
“Like what covers?” Josie was curious.
“Oh, hits from classic metal, you know, whatever feels right.” Kyle looked out the window, and then turned toward Josie with a sad smile. “I just want to play what we used to play when we played our music just for the hell of it.” He was putting his pencils away, and then sat his bag on the table. It was weird, he was telling her more about himself, but got antsy and was putting his things away quickly.
Josie was starting to feel awkward and not sure if this was a good idea. “It’s okay if it’s not the right time, the show, I mean, it’s fine.”
“No, it’s fine, please come. I would like you to be there. It’s really cool to play with White Mystery, and it should be a good show. I’m sorry--I’m just still pissed off, and I’m on my way to practice now. It just sort of creeped into my head again, sorry.”
Josie understood and smiled at him. “Well, I need to go anyway. I want an early night tonight.”
“That’s cool; let me walk you to the bus.”
They left the café and walked the few blocks to wait for Josie’s bus. Kyle reached toward Josie’s face and brushed a wayward hair out of her eyes. Josie sighed inside. My god, this man was so adorable. He was so talented and so laser-focused on her, what she said, what she thought. She felt spoiled, and had barely spent much time with him yet. “You don’t have to wait with me, its fine. You should get to practice.”
“Okay, Josie. I’m looking forward to Friday night. Our show is about 70 minutes long, and then I can come find you in the front of house. How about you meet me at the bar around 10:00 and we can watch White Mystery together?”
“That sounds great, I’ll see you Friday.”
Kyle started to walk away, then turned around and said, “Josie! I almost forgot!”
“Yes? What?” She called.
“Don’t forget to wear earplugs.”
Chapter 6
“It’s not like you’ve never been on a date before, Josie,” scolded Maya. It was Friday afternoon. She was watching Josie take apart her closet, trying on many different things in order to find the perfect concert outfit. “He’s seen you in a yellow dress, a pair of slacks and in your jean skirt. Go for the LBD and call it a day!”
“That’s too formal, Maya! What if I look way too overdressed?”
“Grunge it up, lady. Wear your Docs and jean jacket with it.”
Josie tried that combo, and had to admit, Maya was right. She felt totally at ease wearing her knit black dress and Docs. Then she started laughing.
“Maya, this is exactly the kind of outfit we would’ve worn in college.”
“I know. Don’t reinvent the wheel, sister. Some things just work.”
Josie sighed. “Let’s have a beer, I’m ridiculously keyed up.”
“That’s always a good idea! I brought some cookies I stole from the shoot today.”
Josie giggled. Maya’s sense of propriety was in stark contrast to Josie’s. But those huge stolen chocolate chunks with the Anchor Steam Ale she had in a growler made Josie calm down enough to know she was going to have a great time tonight.
“Ok, have fun Josie, and remember to make bad choices. I put condoms in your purse.”
Maya yelled this as she was descending the stairs with Thor, right there in Josie’s hallway, just in time for her neighbor Marga to hear her as she and her dog entered their flat down the hall.
Oh my LORD Maya, thought Josie.
Already having her outfit ready, Josie was dressed and headed out the door to wait for the bus by 7:15. She hadn’t been to the Music Hall in a while, but it was a gorgeous place. She was a bit stunned that Kyle was such a successful musician, and yet felt a bit worried for him. He had some anger in him about the band, and Josie wasn’t sure if that would come up tonight or not. But Kyle was so great at talking to her, listening to her. She really appreciated that about him. However, she wanted to hear more about him. And she was a little nervous that she might bring up something upsetting without knowing she was.
The 38 California showed up a few minutes late and she hopped on, listening to her iPod and watching the lights of Japantown in the distance. I love this city, she thought. There’s always so much going on.
It had occ
urred to her after she said goodbye to Kyle at the café that they had not exchanged phone numbers. It felt bizarre in these modern days to not have the number of someone she was meeting up with. She hadn’t heard from Kyle since they had tea the other day. She felt a little pang of excitement, again, thinking about how he had drawn her portrait. She had put it up on the wall beside her bed, to look at while falling asleep. That image had made her smile all week. Kyle may look a little like a grown up boy, but he had some depths to him. She felt tingly thinking about his eyes and how he looked at her. She was really excited to hear his music. She realized that she could feel why he’d want to do his own stuff, other than the impulse to share one’s own creativity. Doing covers must not feel like being real, not being authentic. And from what she already understood about Kyle, he was very much himself. For the first time in a long time, Josie was enthusiastic about a man, interested in spending time with someone that was not James. And it didn’t make her sad. It made her really happy.
Josie pulled the stop cord and climbed off the bus, and started walking to O’Farrell Street. Being a city kid, she popped one earbud out so she could hear what was going on around her. To get into the mood, she was listening to early 2000s hip hop on her iPod, even though that was totally different than Kyle’s music with The Bastard Plants.
There was a big crowd of people on the street, smoking and standing the requisite 100 feet away from buildings. Ducking under a small sidewalk tree, a couple kissed and whispered to each other. Being September the sky was light, but the sun had gone down. Lights were twinkling on, neon flashing, and people leaving Thai restaurants with bags smelling of satay and peanuts. Parents were holding the hands of their small children as they walked away from the grocer after work. The Tenderloin had changed a lot since she was a kid, but it was still busy and filled with the diversity of the city that made her love it. She felt happy to be home in San Francisco today. She hadn’t felt this good about being home until this week. Somehow meeting her students and Kyle had made her feel like she was really home, even though those were new things. It was nice to be part of what made the city buzz.