Elsker

by ST Bende

  ****

  My night was quiet, but my sleep was fitful. Usually, my dreams were filled with visions of Ragnarok or creepy Elf Man or other scary things, but tonight I was replaying my last night at Ýdalir. Ull walked me to my door and declined my romantic overture, just like he had in real life. But in my dream, I tilted my head and stuck out my lower lip.

  “Ull,” my pout was seriously unladylike,. “It’s just one more kiss. What’s the big deal?”

  “Kristia, I cannot,” Ull demurred. “You have to understand.”

  “Oh, I understand all right.” I took a step closer, inhaling his woodsy scent. “I understand that you kissed me so thoroughly you’re afraid if you do it again, you’ll lose control and do something crazy. Is that right?” I trailed a finger through his thick hair, down his jaw, and along the line of his torso and rested my palm flat against his abs.

  “That is right,” Ull breathed softly. His eyes burned with longing.

  “Good,” I whispered into his ear. “I want you to do something crazy.” I took a step closer and he wrapped an arm around my waist. “Please, Ull. Just another minute. Then I swear, I’ll leave you alone.”

  He lowered his face to mine, kissing me with such determination I lost all sense of time and space. “Do not ever leave me alone,” he growled and backed me into the guest room.

  Against my will, I was sucked out of my dream, back to the tiny room where I lay tangled in my sheets. I was positive my face was so bright I could have made a living as a landing beacon. And I was equally certain my grandmother would have died all over again if she’d had any idea what I was capable of.

  ****

  When Ull showed up to walk me to class the next morning, I had a hard time looking him in the eye. I wasn’t sure what had come over me the night before, though I had to admit my feminine wiles had impressed me. I wondered when I’d work up the nerve to do something like that in real life.

  Today wouldn’t be the day. My consummate gentleman came to my door holding a single ivory rose.

  “Good morning, Kristia.,” he handed me the stem.

  “Morning.,” I blushed. “This is beautiful. Thanks.” I ducked inside to put it in water. It brought some cheer to our tiny kitchen.

  “Anything for you.” He took my umbrella as I closed the door behind me. We started walking towards campus. “Speaking of which, I went ahead and ordered you a pair of Hunters. Size six, right?”

  “My feet? Yes, six. What are Hunters?”

  “Wellies,” he clarified. I stared blankly. “Rainboots.”

  “Oh. Oh! Wow, thank you. That was really nice.”

  “It was time.”

  “Ha ha.” I glanced at my feet. He wasn’t wrong. This pair had seen better days.

  “Did you get any of the Mythology reading done last night?”

  I blushed. I’d read about mythology all right, but not the text Professor Carnicke had assigned. “Um, no. I was sort of hoping having a Norse god for a tutor would give me an edge.”

  “So you expect me to be your tutor now?”

  “Among other things.”

  “Oh, Miss Tostenson. What am I going to do with you?” Ull took my hand and we walked to class.

  “Sit with me, for starters.” I slid into the third row and waved at my usual seatmate. “Henry, this is Ull Myhr. Ull, this is my friend Henry Webster.”

  “Cheers, Ull. Nice to meet you.” Henry stuck out his hand.

  “Henry.,” Ull’s nod was curt.

  “Relax,” I whispered as I got out my laptop. “We’re just friends.”

  “I know,” Ull spoke a little too quickly.

  “Seriously Ull, you’re threatened by him?”

  “I am nothing of the sort.” Ull got out his notebook and clicked the top of his pen. He threw an arm around me with feigned nonchalance, clenching his jaw at Henry’s oblivious smile.

  How cute.

  After class we headed to the Student Union for tea. Ull’s mobile rang insistently as I poured milk in my drink. “Sorry darling,” he murmured, brushing my forehead with his lips. “It is Olaug. I must take this. Meet you outside.” He grabbed his cup and strode to the door, speaking in Norwegian. It was really hot when he did that -- even though I could never keep up with the words.

  I took my time adding the sugar and headed outside. When I got to Ull, he’d closed his mobile and was staring at the clouds.

  “How is everything?”

  “Hmm?” He turned to me. “Oh. Fine.” In girl-speak, “fine” never means “fine.” But I wasn’t fluent in Norse-god.

  “‘Fine’ -- Sunday supper might be chicken instead of roast, ‘fine’, or ‘fine’ -- Ýdalir is infested with rodents and I need an Asgardian assassin here pronto to wipe them out, ‘fine’?”

  “Do not worry yourself, darling,” Ull kissed the top of my head casually as we walked to the library. “Olaug was only giving me a status report. The Norns do not see any threats to Asgard until summer, though they are vague on which summer will spark the trouble.”

  I had pretty much accepted that a lot of Ull’s behavior was cryptic, that many things he did would be mysterious at best, unnerving at worst. I tried to be okay with this. Dating a god wasn’t easy, but the way I felt about Ull was worth the uncertainty about our future. He handed me my tea and we walked to the library, deep in our own thoughts. Ull broke the silence once we’d settled into the coveted leather chairs next to the fireplace.

  “Would you like to double-date with my roommates this weekend?”

  “Gunnar and Inga? Um, sure. That sounds nice.” I knew it was a ploy to distract me, but it worked. I was pretty easily distracted these days. Gunnar and Inga were gods -- what would we talk about? Would they be as easy to be around as Ull? Why were they here? Was it just to support their friend? That obsessive part of my brain normally devoted to school took over, and I forgot all about Ull’s conversation with Olaug. He smiled as he leaned back in his chair, immersing himself in his textbook while my mind went into overdrive.

  Chapter Twelve

  Gunnar and Inga

  I’VE NEVER HAD A harder time dressing than I did the night of our double date with Gunnar and Inga. Victoria was ready to kill me by the time she finally shooed me out the door.

  “No, Kristia, Listen to me! You cannot wear that blouse. It says ‘I am trying too hard. I want you to like me.’ You must wear this dress. It says, ‘I am easygoing and fun. No high maintenance here. Oh, but oops -- I’m also really cute and quite clever.’”

  “The dress says all that?” Emma was dumbfounded.

  “It does.,” Victoria nodded sagely.

  “Fine.,” I snatched the dress from her hands and pulled off my blouse, not caring what I wore anymore. I’d tried on at least fifteen different outfits and none of them felt good enough to wear to meet Ull’s friends. This was another situation on which the etiquette police were silent.

  “Do you have your conversation points ready?” With the aid of the Internet, Emma had helped me brainstorm a list of appropriate topics to discuss when meeting one’s boyfriend’s friends. She’d even diagrammed them onto a spreadsheet. I’d been studying it all day.

  “Yes.” I ticked them off from memory. “What are your classes? How did you choose Cardiff? Where are you from?” Okay, obviously that one wasn’t going to make the cut. How is the weather in Asgard this time of year, if I may ask? “What sports do you like? Have you ever been to Oregon? Seriously Emma, I don’t know about that last one. I’m pretty sure they’ve never been anywhere near Nehalem.”

  “True,.” Sshe nodded. “But it will give them the chance to ask you about your home, and if you haven’t been contributing to the conversation, then you’ll be able to sparkle.” She winked. “You’re going to do fine, Kristia.”

  Fine as a fish in a bear’s claw. The thought of meeting Ull’s friends had me wound so tight, I jumped at the knock on the door.

  “Yes, fine. Bye!” Victoria all but pushed me out the door and into
the surprised arms of my date. I smiled nervously.

  As Ull drove me to the pub where we were meeting his friends, he explained that Gunnar and Inga were his only confidantes here. His circle of human companions was limited to me.

  “Despite my choice to live in your realm, I keep your kind at arm’s’ length -- I generally try to follow Asgardian law. Gunnar and Inga were the only ones I was able to confide in here, until I met you.”

  My nerves melted a little bit -- I was secretly pleased to be the first mortal he’d ever welcomed into his life. Ull was very guarded, and it was a big deal to be let in.

  “So if our futures can’t mix, then by dating you, am I making you a criminal?”

  “Pretty much.,” Hhe grinned.

  “What do your friends think about that?” I grinned back. Kristia Tostenson, outlaw. Ardis would have been so proud. Mormor might have felt a little differently.

  “They are oddly supportive.”

  “Tell me about them.” In a matter of minutes, I’d be face to face with two more Norse gods. As my nerves had removed all memory of Emma’s carefully crafted conversation points, I needed something to talk with them about besides the weather. Or heaven forbid, the cleanliness of Cardiff. I was not going down that road again.

  “Well, Gunnar is my oldest friend. He has come with me to most of the universities I have attended in Europe, and a few in the States. He is a tremendous athlete and an even better fighter.” By now, we’d reached the restaurant. “And here he is. Gunnar!” I recognized him from my first night at Cardiff. Gunnar was tall and muscular like Ull, with chocolate-brown hair that stood in spikes around a tanned face. He had twinkling, green eyes that made him seem mischievous. I liked him immediately.

  He stood when we reached the table and met Ull with a hearty clap on the back.

  “So this is the lass who’s tamed our bachelor!” Gunnar reached out to grab me in a warm hug. “It’s nice to finally meet you!”

  “Here, here.” Inga rose and reached across the table to shake my hand in welcome. She was willowy and slim, with long white-blonde hair that swayed as she moved. Her cheekbones were prominent and her enormous blue eyes managed to sparkle, even in the dim lighting. She was the prettiest girl I’d ever seen in real life -- maybe even as beautiful as those girls in the fancy bra advertisements. “It’s nice to meet you Kristia.,” Sshe sat back down with inhuman grace. It was like watching water dance.

  “Nice to meet you too.” If that was what a goddess looked like, why on Earth was Ull dating me? It was hard not to feel inferior.

  “It’s so nice to finally get to go on a double date. Ull here has made himself quite the third wheel for way too long.”

  Ull glared at Inga, who shot him an angelic face.

  At her words, I was in a tastefully-decorated living room. The silver-framed photos on the mantel held pictures of Inga, Gunnar, and Ull in various states of amusement -- laughing on top of a ski slope, straddling mountain bikes in a forest. Inga was coming out of a doorway I could only assume was a kitchen, carrying a square plate of delicious smelling pastries. She offered me one before curling up on the couch, tucking her long legs beneath her as she sat.

  My insecurities faded a little as I pulled myself out of my vision. Despite her celestial beauty, Inga and I were going to be good friends.

  “Oh, Inga. You have always been so patient to put up with me.,” Ull rolled his eyes good- naturedly as he picked up his menu.

  “I have, haven’t I?” Inga winked at me. The discussion moved on to what to eat, then fell easily into the banter of old friends. When Gunnar and Inga rose to visit their respective powder rooms, I turned to Ull.

  “Sorry, I know this is tacky, but I have to ask. If that’s what goddesses look like what are you doing dating a human?”

  “Kristia.” His cool breath blew on my ear. “You are the loveliest creature I have laid eyes on. From the moment I saw you, nothing could have kept me from your side.” His finger slid from my ear down my neck, tickling it with a feather-light touch that made my eyes roll closed. He grazed my jaw with his teeth, sending shivers up and down my back. “I have never been in love before, and to think I nearly missed out on this because I was stubborn.”

  My eyes flew open.

  “Yes, darling. I am in love with you. Completely, madly, head over heels in love with you. Surely you knew?”

  I blushed. “I think I did. But it’s nice to hear the words anyway.” I looked at my hands, then forced myself to meet Ull’s eyes. “I’m in love with you too, you know,” I confessed.

  “I know.,” Ull pressed his lips against mine and I breathed in his pine scent. I could have stayed there forever.

  Gunnar’s deliberate cough brought me back to reality. He and Inga slid into the booth. “Sorry to interrupt, but the food’s here.” Gunnar graciously steered the conversation towards our classes, asking Inga about a term paper she was working on.

  “It’s nearly finished,” her melodic voice paused., “I just need to talk to my professor about a formatting question.”

  “Is it Professor Krups?” Gunnar grimaced.

  “That’s right, you had him last term.” Inga tilted her head, her blonde hair shaking softly around her shoulders. “How could I forget?”

  “Great Odin, Inga. How could you forget?” Ull rolled his eyes.

  “Just about drove me mad,” Gunnar muttered. Turning to me he explained, “He marked me down half a grade on my final paper for using the wrong font. The wrong font. Who bloody cares about a font?”

  “Professor Krups.,” Inga nodded knowingly. “I had the same thing happen on my first paper, so I want to make sure I’ve got all my I’s dotted and my T’s crossed.”

  “I’m sorry, who is this professor?”

  Ull turned to me. “I have not had the privilege of studying under Professor Krups. But I have heard an earful from these two over the past year, and apparently he is a stickler for the little things.”

  “Just jealous because he couldn’t have come up with anything so original,” Gunnar grumbled to Inga’s amusement.

  “Still sore, darling?”

  “A font,” was all he replied. It was reassuring to hear gods complain about grades and teachers. Maybe this was going to be easier than I’d thought.

  Though I wanted desperately to ask Ull’s friends about their life outside Cardiff, talk moved to plans for the winter holiday. We only got two weeks of vacation and Gunnar and Inga were going skiing. I’d planned to stay in Cardiff to get a head start on my reading, but Ull proposed a different idea as we were driving home.

  “I was wondering if you might join me at Ýdalir for Christmas. I was planning to leave after St. Lucia’s Day -- are you familiar with the holiday?”

  “Of course.” Mormor had celebrated it every year. “The Scandinavian celebration of light.”

  “And strength.” Ull paused, no doubt thinking of the young saint. Her spirit had been so strong she overcame death.

  “And strength,” I agreed.

  “Well, the mass at our church is beautiful. Inga is going to be this year’s Lucia of course. We could head to Bibury after the service, spend the holiday in the country. What do you say?”

  “Um, yes. Absolutely, yes.” Two weeks alone with Ull sounded very nice. Maybe I could even channel my bolder dream-self to make a move on him. I giggled. My life was so different than it had been a few months ago.

  “What is it, my love?” Ull asked of my laugh.

  “I’m just happy. For someone who spent pretty much her whole life looking for a place to belong, this is pretty great. I mean… I didn’t have any siblings, I was always too shy to make a lot of friends, and as much as I like Nehalem, I didn’t exactly fit in.” Nothing prohibits assimilation like the whole hamlet thinking you’re a loon. “I spent twenty years feeling like I was watching my life play out without ever really living it. But then I met you, and everything just clicked into place. It’s like I’m finally home.” I clapped my hand over
my mouth, embarrassed by my honesty. When we slowed for a stoplight Ull pulled it away.

  “Kristia, darling, in all my years, this is the first time I have felt I was where I was meant to be. I am so very lucky that I met you.” Blushing fiercely, I was the first to break eye contact and we drove in silence, our intertwined fingers linking us together.

  ****

  “Hello Poppett.” Oh, jumping Jezebel. I’d know that voice anywhere, though I’d only heard it twice.

  “Goodbye, Elf Man.” I didn’t bother opening my eyes. My previous dream had been very enjoyable, and I wasn’t terribly pleased this new one interrupted it. “Kindly see yourself out of my head please.” No point in being rude, even to an imaginary creature.

  “As you wish.,” Tthe hissing voice was followed by a snap. I settled comfortably into my blankets, glad I hadn’t wasted any energy opening my eyes. The cold wind on my face gave me pause. Unless my window was open… oh, crimeney. The dream wasn’t over. I wasn’t in my bedroom anymore. Based on the big tree to my right, I was pretty sure my bed was now in the garden at Ýdalir. I sat up.

  “Fine, I’ll play. But make it snappy Elfie, I’m really tired.” My brain was obviously more messed up than I thought.

  “Oh, I can be very fast.” The keening sound was to my right and when I turned he was against me, wrapping a rope around my neck and pulling it taut. The rough fibers cut into my throat. I tried to breathe in, but the movement was painful and pointless.

  “I warned you I would come for you if you tried to join him.,” Tthe pointy-eared man sneered. “I can’t have you spoiling my plan.” A kick to my stomach evicted what little breath I had left, and my lungs collapsed. I clawed at the rope but the crazed man was too strong. His cackling echoed through the fog that crept across my brain. I was slipping under -- it would be death by strangulation this time.