Vibrizzio (The Big V #1)

by Nicki Elson

  “What?”

  “Nothing, just … I was an idiot to have never noticed you before.”

  * * *

  Back home and in her jammies, Lyssa instinctively reached for Vibrizzio. The thirty-six-hour rule had gone by the wayside, and she considered backtracking on the no-more-Hayden-fantasies rule too. But a funny thing happened on the device’s way to her bed—she decided she didn’t feel like escaping into her imagination. She preferred to fall asleep with the memory of her perfect and platonic evening with Hayden warming her mind. For once, reality trumped fantasy.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “You guys are totally dating,” Trish said to Lyssa the next afternoon as they walked the treadmill side-by-side. Lyssa had told her about her evening with Hayden.

  “Which part of friends did you miss?”

  “Most of the early seasons, but I saw Monica and Chandler get married and Rachel go out with both Ross and Joey.”

  “Sorry that my life isn’t as exciting as a TV show.”

  “It could be.”

  “You and I have sushi and watch movies together all the time, and we’re not dating.” Of course, she and Trish had never snuggled while doing it, but that didn’t seem like an important fact to point out. “Just because he’s a guy doesn’t mean he and I can’t be just friends.”

  “And just because you don’t have to insert batteries into him doesn’t mean you can’t be more. It was a date.”

  “Not.”

  “Too.”

  “A date would’ve ended with a kiss and that didn’t happen.”

  “Did you want it to?”

  “No.” By the end of the not-date, she was technically past that urge.

  “Well, how did it end? What was the last thing he said to you?”

  Lyssa forgot to take a step and had to do a mini jog to catch back up with the machine.

  Trish gasped. “Aha!”

  “There’s no aha! Why do people keep saying that?”

  “Tell me exactly what he said and don’t you even try to lie to me, or I’ll call him at work on Monday and ask him myself.”

  “He said he was an idiot to never have noticed me before. And no more aha. He notices me now as a friend. Period.”

  The girls walked in silence for a while, looking at the TV, and Lyssa slowly brought her mind around to focus on what the quasi-newsperson was saying—just in time for Trish to ask, “You seriously wouldn’t have an issue with him dating someone else?”

  “Of course not. I even set him up with his last girlfriend, remember?”

  “That’s right. So this will be perfect then.”

  “What will be perfect?”

  “He trusts your matchmaking abilities, so how about you set him up with another friend?”

  Lyssa concentrated on keeping her steps at a steady pace. “Who?”

  Trish nudged her machine up a few notches and slipped into a slow jog, turning her head to face Lyssa full on. “Me.”

  Step, glide, step, glide, step, glide …

  “What’s wrong?” Trish asked when Lyssa didn’t answer. “Don’t you like the idea?”

  “I can’t say that the thought of my two good friends dating each other is appealing. Whose side am I supposed to take when something goes wrong? And something will go wrong—he’s not a one-girl kinda guy, you know.”

  “I’m not looking for anything serious—just a fling ’til Kurt pulls his head out of his arse and we get back together. From what I saw at that Christmas party, your Mister King is utterly fling worthy.”

  “That’s even worse! I can’t set Hayden up with someone else who’s going to treat him like a man-ho. He might be a prolific dater, but he’s still a really great guy who deserves a chance at being taken seriously.”

  “Oh really?” Trish had dragged out the “really” slightly too long and turned to stare innocently toward the control panel of her treadmill.

  Lyssa narrowed her eyes until they were barely more than slits. She knew exactly what was going on. Her friend was trying to manipulate her into admitting romantic feelings for Hayden. It didn’t matter that Lyssa would never say it out loud—Trish would take Lyssa’s refusal to set her up with him as proof. There was only one way to respond to such a challenge being thrown down.

  * * *

  Lyssa had to talk to Hayden. Normally, this would simply entail sending him a text or plopping into a chair in his office, but she kept engaging in small tasks that prevented her from doing either all Monday morning long. At eleven thirty, she finished calculating some miscellaneous statistics and felt ready for a break. It would’ve been the perfect time to buzz her partner to see if he was available. Instead, she decided to refill her coffee mug.

  As soon as she stepped into the employee lunchroom, she noted a finely shaped bum pressing against charcoal gray suit pants as its owner rifled through one of the lower cabinets. Lyssa wasn’t one to note the relative attributes of the bums that sat on the desk chairs all around her every day, but this one was special—nice curve, not too skinny, not too wide. Perfect. It could only belong to …

  “Hayden,” she said, flicking her eyes upward as he straightened and turned toward her.

  “Get a good look?”

  “Please tell me you weren’t standing there like that all morning just waiting for an unsuspecting female to ogle you.”

  “I don’t need to pose to get ogled.”

  Lyssa rolled her eyes and went to the half-filled coffee carafe. “What were you looking for down there anyway?”

  “My watering can seems to have gone missing over the weekend.”

  Lyssa snickered as she poured her coffee. “You’ve got to be the only guy at F and K who keeps a watering can in his office.”

  “Well, I’m not going to dump a cup load of water onto my plants like the Neanderthals around here.”

  “Hate to break it to you, but you’re probably the only employee period with live plants in your office.” She loaded on the powdered creamer.

  “Beecher’s got a ficus.”

  “It’s fake.”

  “Really? It looks so real. Are you sure?”

  “Yep. It was a group gift a couple years ago after he kept killing his live ones.”

  “Huh. Ya think you know a guy … ”

  “So I was about to see if you had a few minutes to chat.”

  “Isn’t that what we’re doing?”

  “Yeah.” She shook her head, feeling stupid for the lame segue. “But I’ve got something slightly more riveting than houseplants to talk to you about.”

  “Oh? Is everything on track for us to review the draft report together on Wednesday?”

  “Yep, so far. This is something else.” Oh for the love of Pete—say it already! “Do you remember my friend Trish from the Field Museum party at Christmas?”

  “Tall, luscious lips, gorgeous?”

  “That’s her.” Lyssa leaned back into the corner where the adjacent counters joined, forgetting all about the coffee. “You apparently made a pretty good impression on her too, and well, she and her boyfriend broke up—though I’m pretty sure they’ll eventually get back together—and she’s up for dating around in the meantime. If you’d be interested in going out with her, I could probably arrange that.”

  “Arrange it?”

  “You know, give you her number or something.”

  “Hm.” He nodded and walked toward her. “That’s an interesting proposition. I’m pretty sure Trish and I could have a lot of fun together. You’d be okay with that? It wouldn’t be weird or anything?”

  Lyssa shrugged. “It would be a little weird, but I’d get over it.”

  He continued closer and was now only about a foot away, placing his hand on one of the counters so that his enticing musk surrounded her. “Why would it be weird?”

  Another shrug and a break in eye contact. “Because you’re both my friends, and it’d suck if one of you hurt the other, but if you both know you’re only in it for the short term, I gues
s that wouldn’t happen.” She let her eyes wander back to him. “Are you interested?”

  He pursed his lips, pausing for a moment before answering. “Normally this is something I’d be all over, but I haven’t been feeling normal lately.” He leveled his eyes at her.

  “Is that something you should talk to your gynecologist about?”

  He grinned. “You’re extra sassy today, which means you’re using humor to divert your discomfort. I think maybe you’re not as okay with this as you claim to be.”

  “You’ll have to take my word for it, but the offer isn’t going to stay open forever. Are you in or out?”

  “I’m going to take a pass.”

  Lyssa struggled to keep a poker face, not letting him see any trace of the unbidden relief flooding her.

  “See, I’ve realized I’ve been going about this girlfriend business all wrong,” he said. “I’ve been putting too much emphasis on instant attraction, but that only goes so deep. If I really want to find the girl who’s going to be it for me for the rest of my life, I think maybe I ought to try starting with friendship.”

  “Oh. You want to become friends with her first?”

  “I wouldn’t mind becoming friends with her, but that’s not what I mean. What I mean is that I’ve got another perfectly wonderful candidate, literally, right in front of my face.” He stared at her, raising an expectant eyebrow, and this time there was no escaping his intent.

  “Hayden … ”

  “Did we not have a fantastic time Friday night doing basically nothing? Do we not always have fun together, and have we not proven that we’re willing to be there to support each other when we need it? I’d say our luau kiss proves that we have hot physical chemistry too. Admit it, Bates—what we’ve already got is better than what ninety percent of other couples have, and it could be even better if we see it to the next level.”

  “I already said not a chance in hell. You want me to aim higher for myself, right? Well, I’m holding out for someone who wants more than a playmate. I don’t want to be a friend with a benefit.”

  “Good. That’s not what I’m offering.”

  As he moved in closer and laid his free hand on the other counter, trapping her, Jamie walked into the room and went to the fridge. Hayden stood firmly in position, keeping his intense blue eyes on Lyssa. It would’ve been awkward to try to move around him, so Lyssa stayed still, silently staring back at him. She could only imagine that Jamie had come in to eat his lunch, but the tension emanating from the couple in the corner must have been too strong, and he left.

  “I want to be more than friends with you, Bates. When I look at you or think about you, I feel a lot more than friendship. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think you feel the same.”

  Her eyes flicked away from his beautiful, earnest face, and she breathed through the heaving in her chest as it filled with so much more than feelings of friendship for him. She and Hayden could be great together … for a while. Until his attentions were inevitably drawn elsewhere. It had only been a little over a month since he’d had his heart smashed by those other two women, and he was obviously still hurting. He trusted Lyssa, which made her a safe choice during this vulnerable time. But what about her vulnerability?

  “Do you want to know the quickest way to ruin a beautiful friendship with a woman?” she asked. “Start dating her.”

  “So you’re not saying you don’t feel the same.”

  “I’m saying I think it’s a profoundly bad idea.”

  “Doesn’t every romantic relationship start out as a profoundly bad idea?”

  She smiled but bit at her bottom lip. She couldn’t get swept away in this banter and end up saying something she’d be sorry for later. Lowering her gaze, she pulled her lips in tighter, working up the willpower to flat out reject him.

  “Don’t say it. Don’t say anything right now. I didn’t plan to bring this up until after we’d finished on Pineapple, and I can see that should have waited. So … take this as insight into where I’m at, okay, and take some time to think about it. In the meantime, I won’t push.”

  “I don’t think time is going to change my mind.” She slowly lifted her eyes to him.

  “But you haven’t made up your mind.” His gaze flicked back and forth over her face. “I can see it. Let’s do this—proceed as normal for the next two weeks, no more talking about it until after the final Pineapple presentation, and then I’ll accept your answer no matter what it is.”

  “No matter what?” Lyssa arched a skeptical eyebrow.

  “No matter what.” He pushed back from the counter. “And now we’d better get back to business as usual before the lunch crowd pours in. I was going to eat at my desk, but do you want to go grab—”

  “Yeah, no. I’ve got a lot of work, and I was going to do the same.”

  “All right … so we’re good?” She nodded, and Hayden didn’t say any more on the subject, though he looked doubtful. They exited the lunchroom, and before they went their opposite ways, he said, “Unless we cross paths in the meantime, I’ll see you in my office on Wednesday, two PM, to review the report.”

  “See you then.” Lyssa returned to her desk but had trouble concentrating on the numbers and notes in front of her. Hayden’s declarations hadn’t been a complete surprise to her—she wasn’t ignorant of the growing affection between them. Although she’d truly been chalking it up to friendship, now that Hayden had said it out loud, it was so obvious that they’d been hurtling toward something more. She forced her mind onto the report and kept it there until she’d completed a satisfactory amount of work for the day and then went home.

  That night, as she heated up a quick dinner and cleaned around her apartment, she asked herself the obvious question: Why the hell not? Why not dive into a relationship with Hayden and see where it went? The only thing that’d been keeping her from entertaining the notion before was his perceived lack of interest. Now that he was practically on his knees for her, why resist?

  She was back to the same thought that had niggled at her earlier—the timing. It couldn’t be a coincidence that he’d only started feeling this way about her after getting summarily dumped by Roni and Sabine—two women who were on the furthest end of the female spectrum from Lyssa. They were in Hayden’s league, his sport, and now he sought solace in badminton. Someone gettable as Sean had put it.

  Or maybe … maybe the reason for his sudden attraction was the opposite—what better challenge than a woman who’d given up on men entirely? Hayden certainly did like a challenge, didn’t he? Wasn’t that why he’d kept his sights on Sabine for so long? And who knew what kinds of hurdles he’d cleared to conquer Roni. Lyssa had turned down his friends with benefits offer the other night, so maybe he was taking a different route to getting her in his bed. Once conquering Vibrator Girl, would he immediately lose interest? No. Hayden wouldn’t do that to her, not consciously … but what if the evil plan was buried in his subconscious and he didn’t realize it?

  This mental torture was giving her a headache and getting her nowhere. She needed a break from her real-life dilemma. Stowing her bags for the laundromat near the door, she turned off all the lamps, leaving only the glow of buttons and numbers from her electronics to cast any illumination. Stripping down and unfolding the futon, she soothed herself with the familiar hum and gentle, pulsating ministrations of her steadfast friend.

  Before her imagination found purchase on a solid fantasy, however, her thoughts returned to Hayden. He’d indicated that he was ready for a new approach, hoping that starting out as friends would make the relationship last longer. That was a good sign. But as his exact words ran through her mind—If I really want to find the girl who’s going to be it for me for the rest of my life, I think maybe I ought to try starting with friendship first—she zeroed in on a few words in particular: if … I think … maybe … try. So the whole thing was experimental, and Lyssa was his test subject.

  “Ack!” she shouted into the darkness. They weren’t even officia
lly a couple yet, and she was already driving herself batty second-guessing his motives. Clearly she needed more time as the Vibster’s mistress before she’d be ready to venture back into the dating jungle again.

  “Sorry, baby,” she said to the electronic device. “No more thinking about anyone else tonight. It’s you and me … as soon as I give you a little pick-me-up, eh?” She reached over to the drawer where she kept extra batteries and pulled out the last two, setting them on the mattress while she popped out the old ones. “Shit!” The worn batteries slid from her grasp and clunked onto the wood floor before rolling away in an uncertain direction. It was too dark to hope to see them, so she decided to leave them until morning. She had a date with the new recruits.

  “Gah!” When she’d scooped the fresh batteries from the mattress, one of them fell from her hand. She instinctively bent forward to see if she could track it, and the other slipped out to join his comrades in dropping and rolling. Leaning over the side of her bed, she patted the floor in as wide of a circle as her arm span would allow. The tip of her finger bumped against something and more rolling ensued. She groaned and buried her face in her mattress. Even if she crawled around bare-assed to find the batteries, she had no way of knowing which were new and which were spent and would have to go through a series of testing to identify the right combination.

  Blowing out a huff, she clicked Vibby’s cover back into place. “Sorry, sweetie pie, I’m not in the mood to deal with this right now.”

  After pulling on her flannel pants, she lulled herself to sleep with a new source of comfort: Hayden had said business as usual until the project was finished. That gave her almost two full weeks before she’d have to make her decision. Two weeks in which most of her work could be completed away from Hayden. Even when they’d be together, it’d be for short periods in the office, and wholly focused on business. She’d be free to clear her head and craft a coherent and sensible response to his proposition … assuming he’d still be interested in two weeks.