A Dizzying Balance

by Harriet E Rich

  In the morning, Rick was gone.

  “He had to leave,” David told her as he poured coffee for her in the breakfast room. “He said he’d called his gallery in Cancún and they told him some man he needed to meet with was finally back in Mexico City.”

  “Yes.” She took a small sip from the steaming cup. “The art dealer who’s interested in his sculptures.” It was just as well that he had left. He had loved her, and she had hurt him. Even if he loved her still, he would never forgive her. It was finished and she would go forward. “Tell me about the Grass Valley project. Have you begun the re-design of the complex yet?”

  “Are you really interested?”

  “Yes, of course,” she smiled. “Tell me.” They talked in easy comfort while they ate. After breakfast, he invited her into his office to see the plans, but she shook her head. “Not right now. I’m going to spend a little time with Anna before school.” She ran lightly up the stairs.

  An hour later, she came down carrying a large handbag and wearing her cape over blue jeans and a print shirt. Turning toward the glass doors at the back, she moved quietly past the office, but David heard her and came out.

  “Jennette,” he took her hand. “Let’s do something together, today. We can stop for Anna on the way and drive up to Solvang.”

  Jen’s heart turned over. Solvang. “I can’t this morning. Maybe later we can go down to Santa Barbara.” She hesitated, then looked up into his eyes. “David,” she said gravely, “as your wife, I am asking you to forgive me.”

  He was surprised. “What is there to forgive?”

  “All of my lies, my deceit. When the cabin exploded, I was so frightened that I didn’t trust anyone, not even you. I turned to others for help.”

  “Others?”

  “I’ll explain everything later, but right now I have to go out.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I just have a few things to take care of. I won’t be gone long, only an hour or two. We’ll talk when I return and when we do, you may be very angry.”

  “I couldn’t be.” He shook his head with a smile.

  “If … when you are,” she looked up into his eyes, “please promise me you’ll remember this: Miss Jennette Colson wants very much to be Mrs. David Kenting.”

  “My love.” He reached out for her, but she stepped away.

  “Soon, David.” She turned and walked through the door.

  Once outside the gate and around a bend in the road, she pulled the Jaguar over and stopped. Taking off the cape, she folded it small to fit into her bag. Without it and wearing sunglasses and the floppy hat pulled low around her face, she knew that no one would recognize her. Along the way, she bought soft drinks, doughnuts and a large coffee. It might be a while, so she’d drink the coffee first. Arriving at the motel, she took the key that the manager handed her, carried everything up to the room and settled down to wait. Her shoulder was aching; she was still very tired; but she smiled to herself. Soon. Soon it would be over. Soon, she could begin her life again. She was enjoying the last of the milky sweet coffee when she heard the car. Standing in the shadowed doorway, she looked down as it parked below.

  The passenger door opened and a woman wearing jeans and a print shirt got out. A woman with green-gold eyes and glorious red hair cut in a distinctive pageboy.

  “Jen!” She looked up and smiled.

  “Jen!” She called down, and they both laughed.

  Jennette hurried up the stairs to throw one arm around her and kiss her cheek. “It’s so good to see you! You don’t know how many times Tillie had to practically tie me down to keep me from coming back too soon.”

  Tillie and Jake had followed her in.

  “Jake Summerfield, what are you thinking? Shut the door before someone sees them together.” Tillie crossed the room to give Jen a hug, then tilted her head at Jennette. “She’s been champing at the bit for days. If you hadn’t sent all those e-mails and Jake hadn’t called every day to let her know what was happening, I’d have gone crazy with her.”

  Jennette laughed again. “Tillie’s right. We were worried but I knew I had to stay put.”

  “And speaking of that,” Jen reached out and patted her tummy. “How’s the baby?”

  Jennette looked down and put her hand over Jen’s. “He’s fine, and I’m fine … now. But you, Jen,” she gave her fingers a little squeeze, “you might have been killed. I should never have let you –”

  “You had no choice,” Jen interrupted, “and you know it. By the time you were well enough for Tillie to tell you, I was awake in the hospital.” She grimaced. “Lord, how my head hurt!”

  “So did mine. I had a nasty concussion.”

  “Mine was worse.”

  “No, mine was.”

  “Stop it, you two!” Tillie scolded. They were all laughing.

  Jake spoke up. “Are we just going to stand around here staring at one another?”

  “No, of course not, let’s get comfortable. Tillie. Jake.” Jen pointed at the only two chairs in the room as she sat cross-legged on the floor. “Jennette, you take the bed. I brought sinful sweets to eat and some drinks. The no-lead is for you; I want the high-test. I’ve been drinking diet soda for weeks.”

  “And I know how much you love diet soda.” Jennette grinned at her as she punched up the pillows. Leaning back against them, she pulled her knees up and relaxed. When they were all settled, she looked at Jen. “Your nose is different than it used to be. We really do look alike now.”

  “Yes,” Tillie agreed. “The resemblance is amazing.”

  Jennette went on. “I knew your old nose would be the problem. That’s why I swore that plastic surgeon to secrecy in my letter. Medical ethics and all that.”

  “He was tickled pink to be in on the secret and he did a good job,” Jen rubbed the bridge of her nose, “but I can’t wait for my hair to grow again. I hated having Tillie cut it.”

  “And I hated to do it but we had to make sure that people saw you – saw Jennette – as far away from Pasadena as possible,” Tillie shook her head sadly, “and it was only supposed to be for one day.”

  “I wanted to wear a wig, but we couldn’t find one.”

  Jennette was surprised. “Tillie didn’t tell me that.”

  Jake cut in, “Well, it’s a damned good thing you did cut your hair, Jen, or the whole thing would never have worked.”

  Jen thought back over the last weeks of her life. “But it did work,” she sighed, “thankfully. Through it all, I knew that at least Jennette and the baby weren’t in any danger.”

  “What happened on the cliff, Jen?” Tillie pointed at Jake. “This idiot didn’t tell us much.”

  “Hey, Mom, give me a break! I only knew what I saw after I got there with Roger.” Jake turned to Jen. “Earlier, at the house, I was worried when I couldn’t find you anywhere. You were there when I was dancing with Ellen and then you were gone.”

  “I know it was stupid of me to go out alone and I should have known better, but I was frantic about Anna and I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

  “Anna?” Jennette cried. “What happened to Anna?”

  They sat and listened while Jen told them about Colleen. It wasn’t easy for her to relive the nightmare but Jennette had to hear the details. Only a few people would know that she had been in hiding since the cabin exploded. When Jen finished, they sat in silence.

  Jennette was stunned. “I can’t believe it. She did almost kill you, Jen.”

  “No, she almost killed you, Jennette, you mustn’t forget that. I’m just glad that it wasn’t really you on that ledge.” She shivered. “But it’s over now and we can put it behind us.”

  “Tell me about Anna. How is she?”

  “Bright and cheerful, growing like a weed,” Jen smiled. “And you’re going to love her little schnauzer. Guess what we decided to call him. Go on, guess.”

  “Oh, Jen, did you really? Mr. Mugs?”

  “Yup. Tony took on
e look at him and said something like, ‘Look at that funny mug’ and I couldn’t resist.”

  “I love it, it’s perfect.”

  Jen nodded. “But Anna calls him Mugsy for now. David thought that he was too young still for such a grown-up name.”

  “David …” Jennette’s eyes were anxious. “Does he … does he know yet?”

  “No, I couldn’t tell him. He has to hear it all from you or he’ll never forgive either of us.”

  Tillie stood up. “Jake, I want another soda and so do you, right?” Jake took the hint with a smile and stood up to kiss Jennette on the cheek.

  “You’ll have to tell David that ‘Luke’ has got a great job waiting for him in Pasadena,” he gave her a cheeky grin, “and that he won’t be able to rebuild the dock. Unless I come back to visit Ellen, that is.”

  Tillie kissed her, too. “I’ll miss you, Jennette. I’ve enjoyed having you with me these weeks, but you’ve got your life waiting for you.” She smiled. “And it will be good to have Jen home again.”

  Jake followed Tillie out the door. “We’ll wait for you in the car, Jen,” he said as he pulled it shut.

  “They’re wonderful,” Jennette sighed.

  “Yes, and they’ve been so good to me through the years. When … when Mother and Dad died … and I was so sick …” Jen’s eyes were bleak, remembering.

  “Oh, Jen, I am so sorry for that stupid terrible lie I told in that broadcast.” She sobbed and they were both in tears.

  “We hashed that out weeks ago.” Jen smiled as she grabbed for tissues. “All is forgiven, you ninny. It was my fault as well for getting up on my high horse. We’ve lost so much time when we could have been in each other’s lives. We’re not going to waste any more.” She stretched out next to Jennette on the bed. “Now,” she began, “David …”

  When they finished talking, Jen stood and pulled Jennette up off the bed. “I’ve been gone too long – you’ve got to get back.” She took the cape from her bag and slipping off the wedding rings, she held them out. “Go home to him, Jennette. I know he’ll forgive you. He loves you very much.”

  “How can I ever thank you?” Her eyes were shining. “You’ve put my world back together again.” Jennette threw her arms around her, hugging her tightly.

  “Ouch!” She gave her a lopsided grin. “Watch the shoulder!”

  “Oh, Jen, let me be serious for once,” she said, kissing her cheek. “When I had no one else I could turn to, you were there for me.”

  “Don’t be silly,” Jen smiled and punched her lightly on the arm. “That’s what sisters are for.”

  * * *

  Two days later, Jen walked up the broad, shallow steps. The sun was shining on the pond and the house looked warm and inviting. Slipping off her sunglasses and taking a deep breath, she rang the bell. When the door opened, Jen saw that Mrs. Grider was alone in the hall. Stepping in, she pulled off her floppy hat and fluffed up her hair.

  “Miss Colson! But I thought you were in the living room.”

  “No, Thelma.” Jen was enjoying her surprise. “My name is Jennifer Colby. Jennette is expecting me.”

  The housekeeper stepped back, confused. “I … you …” She closed the door and waved a hand toward the living room. “I’ll show …”

  “No, that’s all right,” Jen smiled. “I know the way.” She crossed the hall to open the door. Jennette was sitting close to David on the couch with Anna curled up in her lap. Adelia was in her wingchair and looked up as Jen came in.

  “Remarkable,” she said. “Even when David told me, I didn’t believe it.”

  Jennette turned. “Jen! Come in!”

  As she sat in the other wingchair, Jen saw that Thelma had followed her and was standing in the doorway looking from one to the other. “It’s amazing. How … who?” she stuttered. “I’m speechless.”

  “Good,” said Adelia with satisfaction. “Maybe I’ll finally get some peace. You can bring the coffee.” Thelma just nodded, still staring at Jen, and Adelia added, “Shut that door and not one word to anyone or I’ll skin you alive.” When Thelma had gone, she turned to Jen with a lift of one eyebrow. “So,” was all she said.

  Jen gave her a cautious look. “I hope you’re not too angry.”

  “I should be,” she laughed shortly. “You led us a merry dance. But I’ve learned what hatred can become, and I find I’m getting too old and tired to keep on feeding mine.” With a sigh, she looked at Jen. “You’re a good girl. If Jennette can be –”

  “I will, Adelia,” Jennette said firmly. “Things are different now. Better. David and I …” She smiled up at him and Adelia nodded.

  Anna was staring at Jen. Then she reached to touch her mother’s face. “Mommy,” she asked, “are you twins?”

  Jennette gave her a squeeze. “No, honey, although we were often mistaken for one another when we were teenagers. This is my sister, Jennifer, but she’s a year younger than I am.”

  “And an inch shorter,” put in Jen.

  “But your feet are bigger than mine,” she retorted and they both laughed.

  “Jennifer? That’s my name too. Jennifer Anna.”

  “Yes, I know, but my name is Jennifer Adrienne.”

  “And Mommy is Jennette Amelia. We all have the same initials,” she said delightedly as the sisters smiled at each other over her head.

  “Anna,” Jen said as she bent down to reach into her purse. “I’ve brought you a present. Ready?” And up came a funny little puppet with green yarn for hair and brown button eyes. He waved at Anna as Jen hid behind him and said in a high squeaky voice, “Hi, my name’s Sylvester. Can we be friends?”

  The little girl giggled and asked shyly, “He’s really mine to keep?”

  “Absolutely. My good friend Jake made him specially for you.”

  Anna climbed down and ran to her. “Can I?” Jen slipped Sylvester onto Anna’s hand, showing her how to fit her fingers into the head and arms. Then she spoke to him, carrying on a little conversation as the child tried out the puppet. With a big smile, Anna carried it back to the couch and wriggled up into her mother’s lap again. She wagged the puppet at Jen and squeaked, “Thank you.” Then she looked up. “I like her, Mommy. She’s nice.”

  Jennette grinned and David said, “Yes, she is.”

  “David,” Jen looked at him anxiously. “I want to apologize. So much lying. I’m sorry.”

  “There’s nothing to apologize for. On the contrary.” He gave Jennette a little hug, then looked down at Anna. “So, you like your Aunt Jen, do you?”

  The little girl nodded. “Guess what, Aunt Jen, I’ve got a puppy named Mugsy and I’m going to have a baby brother in November. Mommy and Daddy told me.”

  “A brother? That’s wonderful, Anna.”

  “And Mommy says I can hold him if I’m real careful and help feed him and everything. We’re going to call him Douglas.”

  Jen smiled to herself. And the Kenting family dynasty continues.

  They listened to Anna talk excitedly about the baby until Thelma came in with the coffee. She carefully pushed the door shut before setting the tray down on the table.

  “Anna,” David said, “I think Mugsy needs a walk.”

  Adelia looked at Thelma. “Yes, take her to find Ellen. They can go down by the pond. Not up on the path. The railing is not yet finished.”

  “Goodbye, Aunt Jen.” The little girl skipped out waggling the puppet at Thelma and talking about Mugsy. Jennette watched her as they left.

  “She’s so different, so happy,” she said with a catch in her voice. “Thank you, Jen.”

  “She’s a sweetheart and I love her dearly. It was nice to hear her call me Aunt Jen.”

  “Will you pour the coffee?” Adelia asked and both sisters moved to get up. Laughing, Adelia waved Jennette back to the couch. “One last time, Jennifer?”

  Jen smiled as she moved to the chair beside the tray. “I am honored.” She handed the cups around, stirred milk and sugar into hers, then carried it
back to the wingchair.

  “David, I really do have to tell you how sorry I am for deceiving you. In the hospital, and when I came home – I mean when I got here – I didn’t know anything about you. You were angry with Jennette, but she didn’t know why and I couldn’t trust you. Then, after the board meeting,” she felt her cheeks flush, “it got harder and harder to keep you at arm’s length.”

  “Looking back, I can see that each time I came close to you, you found some reason to move away but when you did, I thought, that is, I’d been so unkind to you, right from the start.”

  Jen knew that he had remembered the scene in his bedroom. She hadn’t told Jennette and she hurried to keep him from continuing. “None of that matters anymore so we’ll forget it. Jennette and the baby are safe, and it’s all finally over.” She gave him a steady look and he nodded.

  “Yes, it’s best forgotten between us. What will you do now?”

  “Well, I’ve slept for most of the last two days, and my shoulder won’t keep me from my job at the gallery much longer; the manager has been very patient. But all I really want right now is to get back to painting.”

  “Speaking of that,” Jennette said casually, “I cleaned your studio while you were gone.”

  “You didn’t. I’ll shoot you!”

  “Hey,” she complained, “it was a mess and I had to have something to do. After the cast came off my arm, Tillie and I cleaned that house from top to bottom. I dusted every single one of Dad’s books and washed every piece of Mother’s china.”

  “Jennette Colson with her hands in soapy water?”

  “Yes, Adelia, and surprisingly, I enjoyed it. I even did some cooking.”

  “I don’t believe it. How could you be so cruel to poor Tillie?” Jen grinned and Jennette agreed with a little gleam in her eye.

  “I’ll admit that most of it was pretty bad but if you need a really great meatloaf, I’m your girl.”

  Smiling, Jen relaxed into her chair. It was good to laugh and talk together, to be herself and only herself completely. She told them what little there was left to say about the accidents, but they moved on quickly to shared memories from the past and the time flew.