Rocks and Stars

by Sam Ledel

  * * *

  Thirty minutes later, we’re sitting amongst piles of flashcards and granola bar wrappers. Joey stretches her arms as she rearranges herself to face me on the bed. “Okay, Kyle. Crunch time.”

  I stretch my neck in mock seriousness. “Let’s do this.”

  We’re face-to-face now. Joey collects several of the flashcards into a neat pile, clearing her throat before she says, “All right. Are you ready?”

  I sit up straight, my face serious. “I’m ready.”

  She nods, and with a glance down at the first note card, she reads, “Okay, in Spanish, how do you say ‘eyes’?”

  “Easy. Ojos.”

  “Very good.” She places the card behind all the others and continues. “Leg.”

  “Pierna.”

  Another nod, another card. “Ear.”

  “Oh, um…oreja.”

  “Almost got you there,” she says, smiling but still avoiding my gaze. New card. “Knee.” This time, as she says it, she taps my knee with her left hand. Just two quick taps and her hand is back on the cards. But my eyes stare at where her fingers had been, my knee suddenly itching to move closer to her.

  “Knee,” I say, swallowing. “That would be rodilla.”

  “Very good. How about nose?”

  “Oh, that one’s easy. Nariz.”

  She scans a few cards. Then she quirks an eyebrow before the next one. “Hands?”

  “Hands?” I frown, then stretch my hands out in front of me, running them over the top of the bed as I try to recall the vocabulary word. “Hands…”

  As I’m thinking, Joey reaches out one hand and her fingers gently rub along the top of my right hand. “Any guesses?” Her fingers dance over my knuckles, then glide slowly toward my wrist. For what feels like the first time, she looks up and holds my gaze. My face warms. I force myself to remember what we are doing and finally reply, my voice a little shaky. “I, I can’t seem to recall that one.”

  Joey allows the smile to stretch across her face. Her fingers pull back to hold the cards again. “Manos.”

  I nod, blinking a few times as I’m suddenly dizzy. “Right, manos. Thanks.”

  Joey runs a hand through her hair. We both adjust our sitting positions. I wonder if she’s as anxious as I am. Though I’m not sure why. We’re friends…right? That’s what we decided. Just friends, helping each other out.

  “Okay, let’s switch it up,” she says, but her voice is different now. Did I hear it quiver? “In English, give me boca.”

  My eyes fall immediately to her lips. I lick my own before I can help it. Joey swallows, and the room grows heavy, the air between us thick, like it was that night. And there’s something else. Something like a magnet. A force holding us and everything else in free fall. Like we are two stars pulling against one another in the night sky.

  “Mouth. That…that’s mouth.” I finally say, my voice barely registering above a whisper. I flash back to Beth: still on the soccer field, her lips enticing. She stands alongside all of the other girls I’ve ever dreamed about kissing.

  I don’t know if Joey’s leaning in or if I’m moving closer. Maybe both. She reaches up, places a few strands of hair behind my left ear. My own hand moves to her face. My fingers trace down from her temple to her chin. She tilts her head into my palm.

  My thumb traces over her bottom lip.

  The phone rings. We both jump back at the sound of my ringtone.

  Joey leans against the wall, and she looks like she does after a hard practice, her face flushed and her breathing staggered.

  She runs a hand through her hair as I answer. “Hello?”

  “Kyle!” Emily squeals on the other end. “Oh my God, I have to tell you about tonight.”

  I take a deep breath. Joey smiles, then organizes the flashcards into a pile and closes my textbook. She slides off the bed, standing up to face me. Then she mouths, “I’m gonna go,” and throws a thumb toward the door.

  My mouth is open to respond, but my breathing is uneven and I can’t seem to form words. So I nod. Before she leaves, Joey waves to me, which sends my stomach fluttering again.

  “Kyle, you still there?”

  The door closes after her, and I brush a hand through my ponytail. Finally, I respond. “I’m here, Em. I want to hear all about it. And come over tomorrow,” I add with a glance to where Joey had been sitting on the bed. “We have a lot to catch up on.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Our fourth week of practice has me feeling pretty defeated. Between classes, homework, and my confusing social life, soccer has taken a beating. As a team, we’re clicking pretty well. Yet I know I can play better than I have been. Coach started me the first two games, but since last week, I’ve felt off. Like every move I make is a second slower than it should be. Like in our last drill at practice today, when I completely missed a slide tackle and then gave up a shot on goal against Emily.

  “Hey, you weren’t that bad.”

  I lift my head up. It’s been hanging between my knees like the long-deceased flowers in Emily’s apartment, ones she insists are still alive. Joey stands a few feet away, taking off her gloves.

  “Yeah?” I say, heaving a huge sigh. “Tell that to Coach. She’s had me on second squad all week.” I roll my head back, admittedly a bit dramatically. “I sucked. Royally. I might as well call my parents and tell them not to bother coming out for another game this season because I’m never going to see the field again.”

  Joey drops her gloves into her bag. “Come on now,” she says before grabbing her water bottle and moving closer. “It’s not that bad, drama queen. Coach is probably just trying to give some other girls a shot at starting. You’re good. I think you’re just in your head too much.” She pauses, then asks, “Are you sure there isn’t anything else bothering you?”

  For a second, I consider telling her how confused I felt during our study session. Or how Jax seems to be making sure I’m within two feet of her every time she tosses water on herself to stay cool during our breaks. Then I think better of it.

  “No. There’s nothing wrong. I’m fine.” I give a smile—hoping she can’t see how forced it is—and then a thumbs-up, for good measure. Even though her eyes have lit up with curiosity, Joey doesn’t pressure me to explain any further. I toss my cleats into my bag and hop down off the bleachers next to her. She reaches out and taps the top of my head.

  “You really are short, huh.” She grins.

  I slap her hand away. “Hush. You’re just freakishly tall.”

  “You know it. And I can still block shots from short stacks like you.” She reaches toward my head again, but I jump back. We laugh and gather our stuff to head home. As we walk toward the parking lot, we wave to Emily as she chats with Mary and Katie. I notice Jax tossing cones into a car trunk, and it’s briefly like stepping outside for the first time all day, when your eyes want to go directly to the source of all of that bright light. My eyes are drawn to her. That burning, blazing force.

  Joey’s voice is distant in my mind when she says, “Well, speaking of short stacks, they’re serving pancakes all day in the dorm cafeteria. Feel like a carb reload?”

  Jax disappears behind the other side of T.’s car in the parking lot. Finally, my eyes adjust, and I can focus again. Joey’s words replay in my head, and the rest of me is on delay, too, thanks to Jax’s pull. My stomach growls at the acknowledgment of her proposal.

  “That actually sounds really good.”

  Joey smiles. “Perfect.” She tosses me my keys. “You’re driving.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  “I feel like there’s something you want to talk about.”

  I pick at the syrup-drenched pancakes stacked on the plate in front of me, then glance up at Joey as she continues talking. But as soon as I do, my mind is overcome with the image of Jax on the practice field. I can feel her standing behind me, so close her breath is on the back of my neck.

  “Nervous?”

  “It’s just that, you kno
w, as much as I love your general company, I should probably tell you that I am very well known for my listening skills. Like, top shelf. My superlative in high school was actually Best Listener for Those in Need,” Joey says, grinning at me from across the table. Finally, I shake myself out of the memory of Jax. “Okay, fine.” She sighs and stabs at another bite of her double stacked pancakes. “That’s not true. I actually got Most Likely to Join the WNBA, which by the way, is super prejudiced against me. I mean, just because I’m tall does not directly mean that I play or even like basketball.”

  I can’t help but smile at her comment, which is returned triumphantly. “Aha. There you are. I’m telling you, I am practically a bona fide therapist.” She tosses back a swig of Gatorade.

  “Yeah, not bad for a political science major,” I say through a mouthful of sugary dough.

  Joey shrugs. “Po-tay-to, po-tah-to. But really,” she pauses, her face serious, “if you do ever want to talk about anything, I’m here if you need me.”

  My gaze meets hers. Joey has lately had this uncanny way of peering so far into me. Like she can see the walls I’ve built up but simply jumps over them like they’re molehills and not the mountains that constantly cloud my vision. She seems to see me. The real me.

  But I still can’t let her in.

  “Why don’t we talk about you? I feel like I’m always going on about me.” I sidestep her question and hope she doesn’t notice. “Like, how come I’m the one of us who’s always driving to practice? I’ve seen your car. I would show that thing off if I were you.”

  Joey has an impressively well kept ’87 Mazda RX-7, black as the night sky. I always see it parked near the back of our dorm parking lot but rarely see her behind the wheel.

  She tilts her head, then shrugs. “Please, why put miles on that beauty when I have a perfectly willing chauffer so close by?”

  “You’re just lucky I’m nice. I could start leaving for practice earlier, without you.”

  “No way, short stack,” Joey counters, arranging half a piece of bacon onto her fork. “I’ve got half a foot on you. I could take you down if you changed your mind.”

  “You do not have half a foot—”

  The piece of bacon from her fork goes flying and hits me square on the nose. My eyes go wide and I fight back a smile, not wanting to give her any satisfaction. Then without missing a beat, Joey turns to look over her shoulder, then back at me.

  “Can you believe that? Oh my God, Kyle. Who would even do something like that?” She grins behind her Gatorade bottle while I reach for the small bowl of powdered sugar placed between us. I hold it in my palm, pretending to look it over. Joey shifts in her seat. “You wouldn’t dare.”

  “I don’t know,” I say, mocking seriousness. “I mean, what’s that saying again? ‘Do unto others as they have done unto you’?”

  “Actually, I think it’s—”

  She can’t finish correcting me before her entire face is white. The powder sticks to her cheeks and coats her eyebrows like freshly fallen snow. I snicker and watch the sugar settle onto her shoulders.

  “Okay, Kyle, you asked for it.”

  But I’m already ahead of her. I’ve grabbed my bag and am halfway to the swinging cafeteria doors when I hear her chair scrape against the tile floor.

  “Good luck finding me!” I holler over my shoulder.

  Who needs talking? I rush past two of my dorm hall mates, grinning. Ignorance is bliss. Isn’t it?

  Chapter Fourteen

  I round another turn and push past the heavy door that leads into the designated boys’ side of our dorm building. A few guys from the soccer team poke their heads out their doorways when I rush past.

  “Bathroom?” I ask one who’s clad only in boxer shorts while he watches me run by, his hair a mess. He points down the hall in the direction I’m heading.

  I wave my thanks and continue down the brightly lit hallway. The sound of water running from the showers makes my ears prick when a door to my right swings open, and I slip inside.

  “Oh, wow.” I cover my nose as the scent of Old Spice and aftershave invades my nostrils, almost knocking me out. Through the haze of body spray, I quickly scan the bathroom, weighing my options. There are seven bathroom stalls to my left, three of which appear to be occupied. One guy watches me over his shoulder from the urinal wall.

  I nod casually. “Carry on.”

  Then I walk over to the opposite wall of showers and find all with their curtains drawn. I bend down in front of the first one. A pair of feet stand over the soapy drain. I move on to the next one, and just as I start to bend down, the curtain flies open to reveal a short guy with a Star Wars towel wrapped around his waist. He looks slightly bewildered to find me standing in front of him.

  “Whoa,” he says, taking a step back. “I’m still in the guys’ bathroom, right?”

  “Sure are,” I reply, then glance down into the stall next to his to find another pair of feet. The bathroom door opens behind me, but it’s not Joey. I turn back to face Star Wars. “I’m actually hiding from a friend of mine. Just having a little fun.”

  He scratches his back with a light saber inspired back scrub and smiles. “Very cool. A little dorm hide-and-seek. Keeping the classics alive.” I glance past him. He reads my thoughts and steps aside, gesturing to his empty stall. “All yours.”

  “Thanks. And if you happen to see a tall redhead out there—I was never here.”

  He pulls himself up into a salute, then walks past me to the bathroom door.

  Carefully, I step into the first part of the stall, avoiding the soapy puddles splattered over the blue tile floor. In the three-by-three space, there’s a small seat used to store towels and toiletries. On this, I drop my bag, then hop onto it, crouched with my knees tucked close to me. Slowly, I pull the curtain shut right as heavy footsteps thunder through the hallway outside. A second later, I hear the bathroom door swing open.

  “Dude,” a guy cries out near the sinks.

  “Oh, please,” Joey’s voice scoffs. “You’re not that special.”

  I stifle a laugh and pull my knees closer to my chest. I listen to her knocking on all of the bathroom stalls, which is followed by the occasional yelp from whichever poor soul had just been barged in on. Then her footsteps move over to the showers. I hold my breath, but it proves fruitless when the shower curtain flies open.

  “Got ya.” Joey grins as she stands with one hand on her hip, triumphant.

  “Really? How did you know to look for me in here?” I ask.

  “Easy.” She shrugs. “I thought about the one place I told you I would never want to go.”

  “And you say you’re the good listener.” I move my feet down off the seat.

  Joey reaches out her hand to help me down. “Yeah, apparently, I need to watch what I say around you from now on.”

  I take her hand and move to stand. But my sneakers slip on one of the soapy puddles and I fall forward.

  “Whoa,” Joey says, stepping forward to help me balance. But in doing so, she slips, too. Suddenly, she’s turning and lands hard in the seat next to my bag. Her hand still holds mine, which pulls me down after her. I crash into her lap and Joey’s arm is cradling my back when I look up at her.

  “Sorry.” I groan. “Not my most graceful moment.”

  Joey just laughs. “It’s all good. Though, Kyle, if you had wanted to get me alone, I should tell you I usually like dinner first.”

  We laugh and without thinking I say, “What do you call those pancakes we just ate?”

  Joey’s smile transforms. It widens and brightens, like a star expanding, stretching its never-ending light. And suddenly the lights around us are blue, and I can hardly breathe and that lava lamp swirls around me. I blink to focus, then remember where I am: in Joey’s arms. And she hasn’t moved since I landed in her lap. I dare another glance up at her. Those clear blue eyes are locked on mine.

  My heart skips a beat, and I swallow hard. But my eyes drift down to her lips,
and I wet my own. Joey leans in.

  “Ladies.”

  Like a knife tearing through fabric, the air is sliced between us. We both turn to find a tall, bearded guy standing outside of the shower in front of us. He clears his throat and speaks again. “As this hall’s RA, I’m going to have to ask you to please return to your side of the building.”

  I’m still reeling when Joey shrugs and moves to stand. Slowly, I hop off her, and we step out of the stall. My hand is still in hers when she squeezes it gently. She hands me my bag, then says, “Come on, Kyle. Let’s get out of here.”

  * * *

  Joey pulls me down the hall, and I run to keep up with her long stride.

  “Where are we going?” I ask while trying to ignore the sudden pitter-patter my heart is doing.

  “Well, first we are going back to the cafeteria.”

  “Indulging in seven pancakes wasn’t enough for you?”

  She glances over her shoulder. “Ha ha,” she drawls. “In my rush to go find you, I left my bag with the register. I need to go collect it really quick.”

  We turn another corner and the cafeteria doors come into view.

  “And then?” I ask, unable to hide my smile and my subsequent joy at our little banter.

  “You’ll see.”

  We push through the doors and start for the register next to the salad bar.

  “There you are.”

  Joey and I freeze. Jax and T. are sitting at a table in front of us. Joey’s bag is at T’s feet, along with a smaller purple backpack.

  Realizing Joey and I are still holding hands, I release hers and drop mine to my side. Jax eyes us both like we’ve been caught coming in past curfew. She stands up slowly. “We were afraid the two of you had skipped town for the weekend.”

  Joey clears her throat. “No. We just…um…”

  “Joey was helping me with some research in my room. Helping me grab the books off the top shelf. You know.” I shrug and gesture between us. “Short girl problems.”