Absolutely Not

by Daisy Dexter Dobbs

  “Story? What story?” As Maisy endeavored to appear calm and nonchalant, her mind raced. How on earth was she supposed to come up with a plausible explanation? Especially when the only thoughts flitting through her brain at the moment had to do with gleefully pulverizing her boss in some wonderfully gruesome manner.

  “The Boris and Natasha story.”

  “Oh, that.”

  “Yeah…that.”

  “I used to watch them on the old Rocky and Bullwinkle reruns when I was a kid, how about you?” She didn’t give Keller a chance to answer. She figured if she babbled enough she might be able to distract him from the incriminating issue at hand. “As a matter of fact, I used to do a mean imitation of Bullwinkle back in the day. Gee, I wonder if I can still do it.”

  As Maisy opened her mouth to continue, Keller pressed his finger to her lips. “As much as I’d love to hear you do your Bullwinkle the Moose impersonation, I’m afraid it’s just going to have to wait for another time. You’re not getting off that easy, Maisy, so stop trying to change the subject.”

  He looked down at the glossy smudge of deep red on the finger he’d pressed to her lips and laughed. “Put this on with a trowel, did you?”

  Flushing furiously, Maisy retrieved the little pack of tissues she carried in her purse. Grabbing one, she rubbed at the stain on Keller’s finger. “Sorry about that.”

  “No problem. Don’t worry about—” Turning to glance at Maisy, Keller stopped in mid-sentence. Eyes wide, his face contorted and twitched. In the next instant he was engaged in full, snorting laughter.

  Alarmed, Maisy bolted upright in the black leather bucket-seat. “What? What are you laughing at?” Wiping the tears from his eyes, Keller pointed to Maisy’s hair. She flipped down the visor and gasped when she peered at her reflection. There, embedded right on the top of her honey-blonde crown of tangles, sat two inch-long, fire engine red fingernails.

  “Oh my God. I could just die.” As she attempted to pick the fake nails from her head, two fingernails from the other hand dropped off and Maisy groaned.

  “I guess this is what’s known as having a bad hair day, huh?”

  Maisy slapped her hands over her face. “Don’t look at me. I’m grotesque.”

  “You are not grotesque, Maisy.” Reaching over, Keller drew her hands from her face. “You’re just a little…a little…” Keller’s mouth began to twitch again.

  Maisy wailed a pained groan as she looked down at her palms. Unfortunately, covering her heavily made-up face with her hands only seemed to exacerbate the problem. She didn’t even want to look in the mirror again—but, of course, she had to.

  Taking in the full picture of the disheveled, woefully smudged, dilapidated woman looking back at her, she wished she could die right there on the spot. At least the mortician would have a good laugh when he got a load of her clown face.

  She had to give Keller credit—he was doing a commendable job of gallantly fighting back fits of laughter.

  “You’re just a little tousled,” he offered. “And smudged…” The corner of his lip quivered as he clearly struggled not to laugh. “You’ll feel better once you scrape all that gunk off your face.”

  Maisy braved another glance at her reflection. Raccoon eyes stared back at her. She sank down in her seat. “Oh my poor face,” she moaned, covering it with her hands again.

  “At least it’s still there. I had my doubts.”

  Maisy shook her head as if to clear it. “Keller, you’re not making any sense. What are you talking about? Turn left in here, on Walnut.” She pointed ahead. “This is my complex. Just keep going straight.”

  Keller turned and drove on silently. She studied him—his strong jaw, sensuous lips, classic nose and proud chin. His hard, fit body. She squirmed as her panties dampened. “Um, what did you mean about doubting my face would still be here?”

  He gave her a sideways glance. “I’m just surprised to see it’s still in place after it nearly got sucked off last night.”

  Maisy sank down in her seat another notch, bracing for the impending coronary because her heart was pounding so fast it was about to burst. “You saw that, huh?”

  “Let’s just say I couldn’t help but notice that you and your…friend were actively engaged in some heavy mouth-to-mouth maneuvers as the two of you slid under the table.” Tightening his jaw, Keller glanced accusingly at Maisy.

  “Turn right on that next street. Not that I owe you any explanation, mind you, but what you saw wasn’t at all what it appeared to be.”

  “Yeah right.” Keller huffed a humorless laugh. “I mean, not that it’s any business of mine, of course. It’s not like you and I have a commitment or anything.” He gave a nonchalant shrug.

  “Exactly,” Maisy agreed. “In fact, I noticed that you and that little brunette seemed to be rather cozy, so let’s not start pointing fingers. There,” Maisy pointed, “that’s my townhouse. You can let me off at the curb.”

  “So you noticed me and Carla, huh?” Keller pulled up in front of Maisy’s townhouse and put the car in park. “I’m amazed you could notice anything at all while making a spectacle of yourself, getting it on, right in the middle of the restaurant.”

  Maisy sucked in an audible gasp. “I was most definitely not getting it on, as you call it. And don’t try to deflect things, Keller. You were obviously enjoying yourself with Carla.” Maisy heard herself say the woman’s name in a singsong voice that smacked of junior high jealousy. She could have kicked herself for being so transparent.

  “Methinks I denote a touch of jealousy, hmmm?”

  “Hah.” Maisy scoffed. She wanted to wipe that smug look right off his face. “Don’t be ridiculous.

  “Not that I owe you any explanation either, but Carla Davenport happens to be the head of the Michigan Fruit Growers Advisory Board, Miss Smarty-Pants. She’s fifty years old, has six kids and has been married to the same man for thirty years—who, by the way, was in the restroom while I escorted Mrs. Davenport to our table.”

  Maisy discovered she was more delighted than she was ashamed at her faulty assumptions.

  “And neither of us tried to suck the other’s face off even once during the entire evening,” Keller added. “Nor did I usher the woman under the table to engage in anything even remotely smacking of carnal playtime.”

  “Oh.” Shrinking from embarrassment, Maisy felt so small she wondered if she could reach up to open the car door. “Sorry.” She offered an apologetic shrug. “Uh…I better go in now. Thanks for the ride, Keller. I appreciate it.”

  “Nope.”

  “What do you mean, nope?”

  “I mean I’m coming in, that’s what I mean.”

  “No you’re not. Look, Keller, I appreciate the ride and all, but—” As she reached for the door handle, Keller pushed the automatic locks. Breathing out a sigh of exasperation, Maisy searched for the unlocking mechanism on the passenger side, giving up when all she managed to do was raise and lower the window and turn on the heating element in her seat.

  “Cute. Very cute. In less than an hour’s time that annoying boss of mine locks me out of his car and you lock me in to yours. That’s it. I’ve had it. Keller. I am not amused. Please unlock this door—now!”

  “You don’t honestly think I’m going to let you get away that easily, do you? Without any explanation after the masquerade you and Norman just pulled? Uh-uh. No such luck, sweetheart.”

  “I have a huge, fierce dog. A guard dog.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yup. Absolutely ferocious.” Maisy nodded. “And he hates men. He’s liable to tear your head off if you come in.”

  “You don’t say.”

  Maisy wanted to smack that self-assured smile right off his painfully handsome kisser. “Don’t make light of this, Keller, I’m serious. I’m sorry but I simply can’t take responsibility for what might happen to you if I let you come into the house. You’ll just have to drop me off and trust me to explain all of this to you another time.”
She shrugged and smiled.

  Keller stared at her blankly. “I think I’ll take my chances with old Rover in there. Now let’s go.”

  “But—”

  “Maisy, either you let me in or I’ll make you sit here in this locked car until you explain every last detail to me. What’s it gonna be?”

  Maisy rolled her eyes and pinned Keller with an icy glare. “It appears that I don’t have much choice.” Grumbling something inaudible, she let her head fall back against the headrest and sighed. “All right, have it your way. You can park over there.”

  As soon as Maisy opened the door to her townhouse, little Hershey sprinted toward her, wagging his tail and eagerly leaping up to greet her. After shucking off her trench coat and kicking off her broken high heel, Maisy bent down to gather the spirited pup in her arms.

  “Hey there, Hershey, how’s my best buddy today?”

  The dog slobbered a series of kisses across Maisy’s heavily made-up face before he finally took notice of Keller. Hershey let out a low mini-growl.

  “Whoa!” Keller said in mock horror, raising his hands in surrender and backing away. “Please, Maisy, restrain that vicious killer before he tears me to pieces.”

  Hershey jumped to the floor, bounded over to Keller, took a few cautious sniffs and then soared into his arms, licking his face from chin to hairline.

  Groaning, Maisy slapped her hand against her forehead. “Hershey, you traitor, how could you do this to me?”

  The little dog looked over at his mistress, slanting her one of those adorable, tongue-lolling dog smiles. Then he returned his attention to his new friend, gifting Keller with another generous lick.

  When Keller finally stopped laughing, he placed Hershey on the floor. “So you have this little attack dog trained to kill them with kindness—is that it?” He was barely able to get the last words out before he erupted into laughter once again.

  “Just-just-just…” Maisy sputtered in exasperation as she frantically motioned toward the family room off the kitchen.

  Keller folded his arms across his chest and smirked. “Yes?”

  “Just go sit down in there while I clean some of this gunk off my face. And consider yourself very fortunate that Hershey was in a magnanimous mood this afternoon and spared your life.”

  “I’ll reflect on my good luck as I rub my hands together in anticipation of your explanation…Natasha.”

  Maisy brushed by Keller, turning her head away to hide her crimson-hot cheeks. “Help yourself to whatever I have in the refrigerator. There’s Diet Coke, low-fat chocolate milk, some orange juice and a bottle of Baileys.”

  “Sounds like a great concoction,” Keller teased.

  “Throw everything but the orange juice in a glass and you’ll be in heaven,” Maisy offered as she left the room.

  “What the hell am I going to do?” she whispered to herself as she sped into the powder room and snagged a handful of tissues from the container on the ceramic tile counter. “Norman, how could you do this to me?” she muttered as she wiped at the smudged mascara. Stopping to take a good look at her wretched, makeup-encrusted reflection, Maisy cringed.

  “I can’t believe Keller saw me looking like this. I swear to God, Norman Stanley, I’ll get you for this. I’ll make you pay for humiliating me in front of Keller. Now he thinks I’m a certified nut case.” Maisy tried in vain to remove the dark red stain from her lips. She had to stall Keller until she could think up something plausible.

  “And don’t try to stall, Maisy,” Keller’s voice called out from the family room. Freezing in place, Maisy’s eyes shot open wide. “I’m not leaving until I hear your story,” he finished.

  “Sheesh, what is this guy, a psychic?” Maisy hissed. “Okay, I can tell him that Norman and I were…no, that wouldn’t work. Maybe he’d buy it if I said we were…no, Keller’s too savvy for that. I could always say…” Heaving a gargantuan sigh, Maisy’s scheming came to a screeching halt as the realization and magnitude of her situation took hold.

  “There’s nothing I can possibly tell this man that he’ll believe,” she said, staring at her partially repaired reflection. “Nothing.” He’d find out what they were up to and think she was a terrible, conniving, horrid bitch who’s out to snare him at any cost. Maisy heaved another sigh.

  “And maybe that’s exactly what I am.” She made an attempt to brush out the tangled mass of blonde while fighting back the tears that threatened to erupt.

  Taking a final look at herself before leaving the powder room, Maisy decided she looked fairly presentable. She had no choice. She was just going to tell Keller the truth and then have a good cry when he walked out of her life. Forever. She turned to leave then stopped to gaze at the mirror once more.

  “And then I’m going to kill myself with a massive chocolate overdose.” Throwing back her shoulders, she sucked in a deep breath and opened the door, heading for the family room.

  “I guess you weren’t kidding when you said you loved chocolate, Maisy,” Keller said, nodding to the wall display as she came around the corner. Looking as if he’d known Keller all his life, Hershey was sprawled across his lap, blissfully soaking up Keller’s attention.

  Maisy looked at the chocolate-brown wall decorated with shadowboxes and picture frames holding assorted chocolate memorabilia. Vintage examples of Hershey bar wrappers, Toll House chips bags, original labels from old cans and jars of cocoa powder and chocolate Ovaltine, and ads declaring the healthy merits of chocolate from turn-of-the-century magazines were displayed alongside small shadowboxes filled with cocoa beans, Hershey Kisses, mini-boxes from Godiva and other revered chocolate icons.

  “What can I say?” Smiling, Maisy shrugged. “Chocolate is my life, and this is sort of my shrine to chocolate.”

  “I like it. It’s very…you.”

  She studied his charming grin, committing it to memory. This was probably the last time she’d ever see him smile at her, because he’d be furious and disgusted after she spilled her guts about the plan to ship his sister to Russia with a rich, horny, bigoted cowboy.

  She entertained a fleeting thought of rushing Keller, tackling him to the floor and ripping off his clothes. Then she’d jump his gorgeous bones and fuck him until they both passed out from exhaustion. Yup. That would make an even better mental snapshot than the one she’d taken of his smile.

  “Now that’s an interesting smile, Maisy.” Keller ushered Hershey from his lap and rose from his chair. He stepped toward her and gazed into her eyes. “What’s going through that busy little brain of yours, hmmm? Probably some whopper of a story you’re making up.”

  Maisy felt her cheeks flush. “I guess you could say that.” She wanted more than anything to snatch a convincing lie out of the air. Something that might prevent him from turning his back on her in loathing. She breathed a sigh. No, she couldn’t be like Norman and get herself all tangled in a never-ending web of deceit. She had to be honest with Keller—he deserved that much.

  “Okay, Keller, I’m going to tell you the entire truth about what Norman and I were doing at—”

  Keller abruptly cut off her confession with a kiss so powerful it would have knocked Maisy’s socks off if she’d been wearing any. He held her close with one hand while cupping her breast with the other. Oh, the sweet, luscious sensations that coursed through her body as he rubbed his thumb over her nipple. It was enough to make her moan with delight, and she did.

  The warmth, the richness, the smooth silky wet taste of him. Delicious. Succulent. Hypnotizing.

  In that instant Maisy realized, without a doubt, that no chocolate could ever compare with the exquisite taste of Keller Fitch.

  She was just about to wrap herself around his body when he released her lips, held her at arm’s length and smiled. It was an entirely different smile this time. Hot, needy, desirous.

  “Wow! What was that?” Maisy asked, bringing her fingers to her lips.

  “Truth serum.” Keller winked, his voice reverberating along her
nerve endings. “Now you’ll have no choice but to tell me the truth about your Boris and Natasha masquerade at the real estate office.” He chucked her chin lightly with his knuckle.

  “After that, you can tell me all about the guy who was sucking your face last night at Montague’s.”

  Swallowing hard, Maisy gazed at Keller. She felt every nerve ending come to life, as if Keller’s kiss had watered her soul, making the seeds of love sprout and blossom. With a slow, purposeful lick of her lips, she stepped closer to him, placing her arms around his neck.

  “I think I definitely need another dose of truth serum.” Standing on her toes, she reached up and brushed her lips across his, but Keller pulled back, keeping her at a distance.

  “First you explain, then I’ll give you the antidote to the truth serum. It’s far more potent, and it takes a lot more time to deliver.” He jiggled his eyebrows and gave a devilish smile.

  He was so darling, so adorable, so big and hunky and beautifully muscled. “Did anyone ever tell you that you don’t play fair, Mr. Fitch?”

  “All’s fair, etcetera, etcetera,” he said, taking Maisy’s hand in his and studying it for a moment, smoothing his thumb over her skin. “I think you’re a very special woman, Maisy. A little crazy, maybe,” he chuckled, “but definitely special. And I want to get to know you better.”

  He leaned in close, his lips grazing her temple. “Much better,” he whispered as her heart shifted into overdrive. He brushed his lips across hers before plundering her mouth with his tongue.

  Maisy moaned, sinking against him, wanting him to sink into her. Hard, fast and relentless. She plastered herself against him, loving the feel of his big denim-clad cock nestled against her belly. “I want to get to know you much better too, Keller.”

  “Good…then tell me about the guy I saw you with last night, Maisy,” he said, snapping her out of her fuzzy, dreamlike state. “Are you in love with him?” His mouth went hard.

  Maisy choked on a laugh. “Oh good heavens no. He was just…” Her shoulders slumped. “Oh Keller,” she said with a forlorn sigh. “How I wish I didn’t have to—”