Temporary Bride

by Phyllis Halldorson

  "Get rid of me!" The knifelike thrust caused her to yelp with pain.

  His face was a mask, devoid of emotion, and there was a certain cruelty in his tone as he said, "Yes, get rid of you. I don't want a wife, Karen. I told you that. All I want is a woman who will live with me for a short time and give me a son. And you're not a woman—you're a child playing at being grown up. You're too young for adult games and I should have my head examined for letting my needs warp my judgment."

  His words were like a spray of cold water that dried up her tears and left her gasping with shock. What an idiot she'd been, throwing herself at him the way she had! She should have known he didn't want her after the way she'd behaved on their wedding night. His refusal to sleep with her after that was just his way of easing her out of a marriage that he realized was a big mistake. It was all her fault. If she hadn't behaved like such a child when he tried to make love to her everything would have gone smoothly; she would at least have been his wife for a year or so. But now she'd spoiled it.

  She took a deep breath, trying to still the anguish that threatened to overpower her. At least she could try to save a little of her dignity. She wanted to stand up, but she was trembling so much that she was afraid her legs would never hold her. Shane had turned his back to her again and was looking out the window. She choked back a sob and said, "All right, Shane, if that's what you want—I'll go away to school. It's probably better this way. I'll have the security I wanted and I won't have to go to the bother of having a baby to get it. When will we be leaving for San Francisco?"

  He still didn't turn around and look at her and when he finally answered there was a catch in his voice. "I'm glad you see it my way. I'm leaving now, but you stay here and pack. I'll send Mark down for you tomorrow. You can spend tomorrow night at the condominium—I won't be there—and Mark will pick you up the following morning and take you to the airport."

  So he wasn't even going to see her off, tell her, "Goodbye; thanks a lot; it's been good to know you." She wished he'd hurry up and leave. She wasn't going to be able to hang on to her self-control much longer.

  "As you wish. I'll be ready when Mark gets here. Goodbye, Shane—and thank you."

  She hid her face in her knees but heard him turn and walk a few steps toward her. She looked up and their eyes met. He looked ghastly and she remembered that he'd said he hadn't been to bed last night. At least this was a decision he'd wrestled with.

  He reached his hand toward her as if he might touch her but then drew it back and said, "Goodbye, Karen," and strode quickly from the room.

  She was still sitting there, too stunned to function, two hours later, when Mrs. Whitney called her to the phone. The woman's voice on the other end was crisp.

  "Mrs. McKittrick, this is Memorial Hospital in Santa Cruz. Your husband has been involved in an automobile accident and was brought here. The doctor has asked that I contact you, and he suggests that you come as soon as possible!"

  Chapter Seven

  The yellow Corvette tore down the highway at a speed far exceeding the limit as Karen fought to control it. She'd never driven a car with so much power before and, as usual, it was too big for her. She had to sit on the front of the seat in order to reach the pedals comfortably and in her haste she'd forgotten to bring a cushion for her back.

  The nurse had refused to tell Karen anything other than that Shane had been in an auto accident and was being treated there. Treated for what? How badly was he injured? Terrible things sometimes happened to people in automobile accidents. They were torn, and broken, and crushed!

  The car swerved sharply and it took all of Karen's strength to bring it under control. She'd have to stop thinking and concentrate on getting there without wrecking this car, too. The midafternoon traffic was heavy and she had to dart in and out of lanes to keep ahead of it. It seemed like forever before she finally saw signs indicating turnoffs for Capitola and then for Santa Cruz. Finally she spotted a sign that said HOSPITAL and she prayed that it was the right one. The signs led her through a maze of streets until at last a large building loomed up in front of her with a bronze plaque on the front saying, Santa Cruz Memorial Hospital.

  Karen abandoned the car in a no parking zone near the large front doors and ran inside. The woman at the admission desk told her that Shane was in Room 316 and she ran up all three flights of stairs rather than wait for the elevator. Her heart was pounding and she was out of breath as she walked down the hall looking for the right room. She knew she should stop at the nursing station and ask if it was all right to go in, but she had come too far too fast to waste time now. Room 316 was at the end of the hall away from the nursing station and she hesitated outside. What would she find in there? How badly was Shane hurt? Was he conscious? She took a deep breath and pushed open the door.

  The drapes had been pulled over the wide window and the room was dim. Shane was lying on the bed, which had been raised so that he leaned back at a comfortable angle. His eyes were closed and there was a bandage across his forehead but his arms and legs were unencumbered by casts so he must not have broken any bones.

  She walked quietly across the room and stood by the bed. A lock of his hair had fallen over the bandage and she reached out and gently brushed it back. As she touched him, his eyes opened and he seemed to have trouble focusing on her, then he started visibly and exclaimed, "Karen! What are you doing here?"

  Her eyes widened and a sick feeling engulfed her. He didn't want her, hadn't asked for her, didn't even know she'd been notified. She sank down on the side of the bed and took his hand and held it to her cheek.

  "The hospital called me, Shane. I came as quickly as I could."

  "Damn." He jerked his hand away. "They must have found your name on my identification. I'd intended to have Mark notified; there was no reason for you to know about the accident."

  All during the interminable drive from Carmel Karen had comforted herself with the thought that he had sent for her, had needed her, but now that she was finally here he was angry because the hospital had called her. She looked down at her empty hands.

  "I'm your wife, Shane. I have a right to know when you've been hurt."

  He turned away from her, wincing with pain at the movement. "Karen, this whole thing is painful enough as it is. Let's not prolong it. I explained it all to you before I left Carmel; now, damn it, go back home and stay there until Mark comes for you."

  Karen stood up. She wasn't going to let him get away with it this time. She wasn't going to be ordered around like a child. She took a deep breath.

  "No, Shane. I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to stay here as long as you're here. If you don't want me in your room then I'll wait in the lounge, but I'm your wife and I'm going to stay with you."

  He groaned as he turned his head again and looked at her. His face was ashen and there was a shattered look in his eyes as he said, "Do you enjoy tormenting me? Now will you stop behaving like a spoiled child and get the hell out of here! Go home and start packing, because I intend to see to it that you are on that plane the day after tomorrow."

  She sank back down on the side of the bed and shook her head. "I'm not behaving like a child, I'm behaving like a woman—a wife. You're not my father, Shane, and I'm through jumping to obey your commands. Are you going to punish me all the rest of my life for what happened on our wedding night?"

  Shane lifted his arm and laid it across his eyes with a weariness that tore at Karen's heart. If he didn't give in she'd have to. He was too sick to argue like this. His voice shook as he said, "I'm not punishing you, little one; I'm trying to protect you. You don't want to give your innocence to me. Save it for the handsome young knight all maidens dream about. Get out of my life, Karen, before I ruin yours."

  He looked so miserable lying there, so white, his strength so utterly spent. She couldn't put him through any more of this. Suddenly the tears she'd been fighting to hold back broke through and spilled down her face and her voice quivered as she said, "What do you know a
bout anything, about what I want?" Her voice broke on a sob. "Oh, Shane, please give me a chance!"

  He uttered a strangled sound as he reached out and pulled her down to lie against him. "Don't, Karen. Oh, sweetheart, don't cry. I can't stand it!"

  Her sobs continued unrestrained as she snuggled into his arms, and his hands caressed her. Finally she spoke into his shoulder. "I know you don't want me but I have to be here. I'd go crazy back at the house wondering how you are, if you were being well cared for."

  His lips teased her hair. "Don't want you? You know better than that. After all, there's no way I can hide how much I want you."

  He molded her to the contours of his body, only the bedclothes between them.

  She tipped her head back and looked at him. "Then why?"

  He guided her head back to his shoulder and said, "Because I'd finally steeled myself to leave you and every mile I put between us was like a knife twisted in my guts. I rammed the car into that tree because I was literally blind with grief and didn't see the curve." She gasped but he continued. "I knew if I gave in to my need for you and asked you to come I wouldn't have the strength to send you away again."

  She smiled and nuzzled her parted lips in the hollow of his throat causing him to shiver with pleasure. "I'm glad because I don't intend to be sent away. Not until we've fulfilled the purpose of this marriage, which, in case you've forgotten, is to have a baby."

  "I haven't forgotten," he murmured, "but just because I want you more than I've ever wanted any other woman doesn't alter the fact that it won't last. I'm neither capable of nor interested in a long-lasting relationship with any one woman, and you are no exception. By the time you have conceived and borne a child I will be anxious to terminate the marriage. That was our agreement and it stands. I'll give you financial security in abundance, but that's all. Are you sure you understand?"

  Karen would have agreed to anything. She'd nearly lost him twice today, first when he walked out on her, and then in the automobile accident. Now all she wanted was to stay as close to him as she could get for as long as he would allow.

  She could hear his heart hammering under her ear and she moved herself up until her face was level with his on the pillow. She cupped his cheeks in her hands and covered his mouth with her own. His arms tightened around her and he held the back of her head with his hand so she couldn't pull away as his response told her more eloquently than words ever could of his desire for her. Her fingers probed the edges of the bandage as she whispered against his mouth. "I understand, Shane. I promise not to make demands."

  He buried his face in the scented softness of her neck and murmured, "I'm glad you came. If you hadn't I would have sent for you in spite of all my good intentions. I couldn't have helped myself. Oh Karen, I want you so much!"

  She held him and stroked his bandaged head as his words flooded her with a quiet joy. He couldn't leave her any more than she could leave him. There was a bond between them that was too strong to be denied.

  She caressed his dark hair with her lips as she asked, "How badly are you hurt? Is it serious?"

  "They say I have a mild concussion but except for a monstrous headache and a tendency to be violently sick every so often I'm fine."

  "Some fine," she grumbled as their lips met again. His mouth clung to hers with hungry insistence and they were both so engrossed in the kiss that neither of them heard the door open until a squeal from behind got their attention.

  A heavyset middle-aged nurse stood by the door, her face stiff with disapproval. There was a suggestion of outrage in her voice as she said, "Really, Mr. McKittrick, we can't allow this type of thing." Her eyes shifted to Karen. "You'll have to get off the bed, miss. I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave; Mr. McKittrick is not supposed to have visitors."

  Karen started to move away but Shane held her close as he said, "The lady is my wife and she's staying right here."

  The nurse looked startled as she muttered, "Oh, well, she can remain but she'll have to stay off the bed; it's against hospital rules."

  "I'm not interested in hospital rules!" Shane's temper was rising fast. "Now get out of here; we'll push the call button if we need you!"

  The nurse pulled herself up to her full height and said, "Well!" then turned and stalked out of the room.

  Shane sank back against the pillow as though the brief spurt of anger had drained him of all strength. Karen could see the pounding pulse in his temple and knew he must be in agony. She caressed his face gently with her fingertips and kissed his closed eyelids as she whispered, "Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?"

  He kissed her finger as it slid across his mouth. "You're already doing it. Who taught you those subtle little ways of pleasing a man?"

  She smiled. "No one. I just do what comes naturally and you seem to like it."

  "Seem to like it?" He took her hand and held it against the pain in his head. "That's a masterpiece of understatement! You wind me around those tiny fingers of yours and you know it."

  Oh, how she wished that were true! If she could only tell him how much she loved him. She gently soothed his aching head with her fingers and could feel him relaxing into sleep when the door opened again and a man walked in followed by the same nurse who had interrupted them earlier. Shane opened his eyes and groaned with the effort of turning his head. The man looked at Shane then at Karen perched on the bed beside him and said, "I'm Dr. Flemming, Mr. McKittrick. I treated you when you were brought in, remember?"

  Shane murmured, "Vaguely."

  The doctor cleared his throat. "It's against the hospital rules for Mrs. McKittrick to be on the bed with you."

  Shane took Karen's hand and squeezed it. "So I understand."

  The doctor looked embarrassed. "Well, look, I can understand your wanting her with you, but you really will rest better if she'll leave and come back tomorrow."

  "The hell I will! If she leaves I'm going with her."

  "Oh, now, Mr. McKittrick we can't possibly allow that!" He sounded thoroughly alarmed. "It may be several days before you're well enough to be discharged."

  Shane looked at Karen. "How did you get here?"

  She said, "I drove the Corvette. But, Shane, be sensible—"

  "I am being sensible. I want you to take me home."

  The doctor sputtered as Karen replied. "Shane, you'd never stand the trip. Wait until you're feeling better tomorrow—"

  Shane sat up and held his head in both hands as if afraid it would blow apart. Karen put her arms around him and held him against her as she continued to soothe him.

  "The doctor's right; a concussion is nothing to fool around with. You're in so much pain you can hardly move. They'll give you something to make you sleep and I'll be right here. I'll sit in a chair by the bed and hold your hand. Dr. Flemming will let me stay, won't you, doctor?"

  She glared at the confused man and he spoke quickly. "Of course."

  Shane straightened up and lowered his legs over the side of the bed and began unfastening the hospital gown he was wearing.

  "I'm going home," he said stubbornly. "Karen, go down to the business office and make arrangements for me to leave and, doctor, get that woman"—he nodded to the nurse—"out of here and send someone in to help me dress."

  The trip home was a nightmare. Karen's nerves were stretched taut as she guided the powerful car through the misty, shifting fog along the coast. Shane was slumped in the other seat, his face gray with pain and nausea, and he was shivering with cold. She should never have allowed him to talk her into this folly! She should have insisted he stay in the hospital, but she'd never been able to deny him anything, except on their wedding night. She shuddered at the memory of that awful night, thinking that her fears then were nothing compared to the fear she was feeling now. She should have refused to bring him home, made him stay in the hospital, but she'd wanted him with her so badly. He'd said he needed her and she wanted to take care of him.

  Karen turned into the driveway and stoppe
d the car as close as she could to the front door. Mrs. Whitney appeared almost immediately and opened Shane's door. She had lost her usual calm and looked worried and upset. She told him how relieved she was that he wasn't seriously injured as she helped him out of the car. Mrs. Whitney was a tall woman, and strong, and she was able to support his height and weight where Karen could not. Together they got him upstairs and sat him on the edge of the bed; Karen removed his shirt and shoes and helped him into his long velour robe. Mrs. Whitney turned up the heat on Shane's side of the electric blanket and left.

  Karen unbuckled his belt and said, "Can you stand so I can pull off your slacks?"

  He managed a weak grin. "I'll stand anytime you want to take off my pants, sweetheart."

  She blushed and helped him to his feet.

  She left on his briefs and again wrapped the heavy robe around him, then helped him into bed and pulled up the blankets. He was still shivering, but not quite so violently, and she turned off the bedside light as she said, "Close your eyes and relax. I'll be back in a minute."

  Actually it was five minutes before she came back, dressed in a mint green cloud of chiffon that was one of her trousseau nighties, and crawled into bed beside him. Shane turned toward her and she reached for him and cradled his head against the softness of her breasts. He drew her close and buried his face against her as he murmured. "Oh Karen, sweet Karen, you're so soft."

  She lightly massaged the tight muscles at the nape of his neck. "How does this feel, Shane? Does it help?"

  He groaned. "Do you need to ask? I wonder, though, if later you'll ever be able to forgive me."

  "Forgive you for what?"

  He kissed her partially exposed breast. "For making such a failure of my noble plans for sending you away."

  She smiled in the dark. "Go to sleep, darling. We don't have to worry about that now."

  Karen woke to the sound of water splashing in the bathroom. It was still dark but a suggestion of light was beginning to show at the closed drapes. A shaft of brilliance made a path through the darkness before the bathroom light was flicked off and she heard Shane making his way across the room. He climbed into bed beside her and she murmured sleepily, "Shane, are you all right?"