Lithium Tides: A Lithium Springs Novel

by Carmel Rhodes

  She bit her lip. “You’re crazy.”

  “Says the girl who put dance in the rain on her bucket list.”

  “Like a nice warm spring rain, not a cold October one.”

  Carter offered her his hand. “I’m improvising here, Friend, work with me.”

  “Fine,” she huffed with an exaggerated roll of her eyes. Taking his hand, she let him pull her out of the car. The water pelted them from above, soaking through her thin t-shirt instantly.

  The rain was cold and relentless, but that didn’t deter Carter. He wrapped his strong arms around her body and pulled her close. Raindrops collected on her lashes, blurring her vision, but she didn’t care, not while she was in his arms. They turned slowly, their foreheads touching, as he hummed a tune she didn’t recognize. “This is amazing.”

  “You’re amazing, Kensington.”

  “Kiss me,” she said as a chill ran down her spine. He gently pressed his mouth to hers, running his tongue across her full bottom lip. She caught it, sucking it into her mouth, and he explored her, tasting her, worshiping her.

  “You’re shivering,” he whispered against her lips.

  “Warm me up,” she pleaded.

  His gaze darkened as he took her in, her clothes clinging to her body, she regained the weight she’d lost during their breakup and her once too thin frame had filled out. She was soft, but toned, thanks to her newfound love of running. His hands gripped her waist tightly as his growing erection poked into her belly. He was losing control and she thanked God for the rain. “What about your bucket list?” he growled, nipping at her ear.

  “I think this counts,” she said, looking towards the sky, letting the rain splatter across her face. It absolutely counted. Moments like this were why she made the list in the first place. She wanted to be happy, and here, on the side of the road, in the middle of a Seattle downpour, she was.

  “Your place or mine?”

  “Whichever is closest.”

  Carter drove them back to his house in record time. Stumbling over the threshold, they peeled off layer after layer of wet clothes as they climbed the stairs to his room. Her tee, his hoodie, her flats, his Chucks, her bra. Their damp bodies collided as they clawed at each other, fueled by months of separation and pent-up sexual frustration.

  “Javi? Ryder?” she asked, unbuttoning her jeans.

  “Ry is with Jam at your place and J went straight to Houston with the rest of the crew,” he explained, jumping out of his wet sweats.

  “Good,” she moaned, pushing him back onto his bed and launching at him, “because I don’t think I can be quiet.”

  Carter groaned, flipping her on her back and then straddled her. She yelped in surprise, laughing uncontrollably as he pinned her wrists above her head. To think, he wanted to go hiking.

  He buried his head in the crook of her neck, biting and licking and sucking on her flesh, reclaiming her body. Kensie arched into his mouth, writhing underneath him, desperate to feel him at her entrance. “Are you ready for me, baby?” he asked grinding his length into her.

  Releasing his grip on her wrists, his hands traveling down the length of her body, not stopping until he reached the thin string of her bikini briefs. He pulled at the string until it snapped, dragging the scrap of fabric halfway down her thigh. “I hope you weren’t attached to these,” he growled, sucking her nipple into his mouth.

  “I’m only attached to this,” she whimpered, reaching between his legs. His dick was rock hard and the feel of it in her hand sent a rush of moisture to her core that had nothing to do with the rain.

  “God, I fucking love you,” he murmured around her nipple.

  “Mmm,” she moaned arching into his body.

  “I love you,” he repeated, locking his gaze onto her.

  “Me too,” she whispered, fisting her hands into his scalp. She tried to pull his head back down over her breast, but he wasn’t budging.

  “Tell me you love me,” he insisted.

  “Carter,” she sighed, “you know how I feel about you.”

  “I want to hear you say it,” he murmured against her lips. He was pushing her, but she wasn’t ready for that level of intimacy. Her mind was his and she was willing to give him her body, but she still felt the need to protect her heart.

  “Why do you need me to say it when you already know how I feel?”

  “Because I need to know that you know it’s real this time. I’m not fucking you until this is mine, officially,” he said palming her clit.

  “I…I…I can’t say it,” she stuttered. “I’m not ready for that yet.”

  “Then we aren’t ready for this.” He sat back on his haunches, watching in amusement as she thrashed backwards on the bed. She grabbed a pillow, pulling it over her face and screamed into it, kicking her legs in frustration.

  Carter chuckled, cuddling up beside her, pulling her back into his chest. “You’re funny.” He grinned into her shoulder. He slipped his hand back between her thighs, sinking his ring and middle fingers inside her swollen lips.

  “You are infuriating,” she groaned.

  “Pot, meet kettle,” he said, pumping his digits in and out, in and out.

  “No sex?” she asked, grinding down on his hands.

  “Not until you say it, Friend.” He pulled his fingers out of her center, spreading her juices up to her clit. He then swirled his fingers and applied slight pressure to the tiny bundle of nerves.

  “This is manipulation. You can’t give me an ultimatum like that after you get me all worked up.”

  “I’ll take care of you,” he promised, wrapping his other hand around her body. One hand worked on her clit while the other pumped in and out of her pussy.

  “What about you?” she moaned, feeling his cock stabbing her in the back.

  “Today is about you. I’ll be fine, after all, I spent a year in jail, remember?”

  His fingers worked her over, pushing her closer and closer to her release. She turned her head, granting him access to her lips and he obliged, fucking her mouth with his tongue using the same lazy strokes his fingers used to fuck her pussy.

  The pressure in her belly built as she moaned into Carter’s mouth. His fingers worked faster as he felt her body tense, giving it to her exactly how she needed it, first slow and teasing, then hard and fast. He was in tune with her needs and he played her body like she was his instrument.

  “Yes,” she whined, as wave after wave of pleasure overtook her. Her breathing was labored as she came down from the orgasm he’d torn from her body. She wanted more, she wanted him, but at least he’d taken the edge off. “Tell me about the night we met,” she panted, snuggling into his arms.

  He kept his hand between her legs, absently rubbing her. “Baby, we’ve been over this.”

  “You won’t fuck me until I tell you how I feel and I can’t say it without knowing how you felt then. Help me understand.”

  He sighed and kissed her neck. “I’m an idiot for dragging you into my shit with Trey. You didn’t deserve any of this.”

  “I wasn’t that innocent.”

  “But you were. I mean, cheating is wrong, obviously,” he snorted, “but you had nothing to do with what happened between me and him. I should have left you alone, but I’m glad I didn’t.”

  She stilled, turning to face him. “I regret lying and I hate myself for hurting you,” he explained, bringing his fingers to his lips, “but if the end result is you and me, then it was worth it, right?” He slipped his ring and index fingers into his mouth. His head rolled back as he savored the taste.

  She nodded, reaching for his hand, pulling them from his mouth and inserting them into her own. She was still horny and although they needed to have this talk, she wanted his penis more.

  “You aren’t going to make this easy, are you?”

  “Nope,” she murmured, pulling his hand from her mouth with a pop. “Why didn’t you send the picture?”

  “I told you, I wanted more.”

  “Why
? I wasn’t special. If I wasn’t Trey’s, would you have even looked my way?”

  “You were standing next to Kitty Cat in that fucking dress, and at first, I thought, I’m going to fuck Jam’s hot friend, but I realized who you were, and I thought, even better, I’m going to fuck Trey’s little princess. Then, in the van that first night, I realized that wasn’t who you were. You weren’t the stuck-up bitch I thought you would be.”

  “Thanks,” Kensie scoffed.

  He pressed his lips to hers, shutting her up. “That night, I saw a girl who was lost, like I was. You and I are the same. We were born into a world where we don’t belong, and we were killing ourselves trying to fit into a mold, not knowing how to break free. I was going to fuck you because I thought you were his, but ten minutes with you and I knew the truth. You, Kensington Grace Roth, belong to yourself. You were meant to soar, and guys like Trey, like me, we are just lucky to be in your presence. You’re special, and I didn’t send the picture because I didn’t want to lose you for the same reasons I don’t want to lose you now. You inspire me. You make me better. You make me whole. I didn’t even realize I was broken until I met you. I think,” he paused, “I think I loved you even then, I just didn’t believe myself worthy of you. I still don’t, but I’m selfish and I can’t let you go.”

  They spent hours lying in bed, talking and kissing. She still couldn’t say I love you, and he wouldn’t budge on the no-sex thing, not for lack of her trying.

  They ordered food. Jam and Ryder appeared later in the evening and the four of them stayed up late into the night talking and laughing. The guys told stories from the road and the girls listened intently.

  When morning came, long before the sun even rose, Kensie felt Carter’s warm breath on her cheek. “Our car’s here.”

  “Okay,” she mumbled, swinging her leg off the bed.

  “No, sleep.”

  “I want to walk you out,” she protested.

  “Babe, sleep. You have to work in a few hours. I’ll call you when we land.”

  “Thank you for yesterday,” she said, pulling him into her arms.

  “Even though I wouldn’t have sex with you?” he asked, kissing the tip of her nose.

  “In spite of it.”

  “Saying goodbye to you never gets any easier. I love you.”

  “Me too.”

  Peter Pan: How’s brunch?

  Kensie: Bacon, best friends, and bottomless mimosas, you know, the important stuff.

  Peter Pan: I love how you listed bacon first.

  Kensie: You know me. :)

  “Oh no, Roth, no phones at brunch,” Jam said, sliding Kensie’s phone away. “Tell CT you’ll talk to him later.”

  “How am I supposed to tell him if I can’t use my phone?” Kensie quipped, sticking her tongue out at her friend.

  “She has a point.” Quinn grinned from across the table.

  “Do you really want to argue with the pregnant girl who hasn’t been able to enjoy a bottomless mimosa in four months?”

  “No.” Quinn’s eyes shifted over to Jamie’s friend, Lo. “I’m Quinn, by the way.”

  “Hey, Lorena, but everyone calls me Lo.”

  “Oh! Oh! You two are Eskimo sisters!” Jam said bouncing in her seat. “Well, not really, but Lo made out with Javi once.”

  Quinn rolled her eyes. “Who hasn’t?”

  “Wait, you made out with Javi, too?” Lo grinned.

  “They did more than make out.”

  Quinn turned a bright shade of red. “Can we not talk about this?”

  “Why? This is exactly what brunch conversation consists of. How big is it?” Jam asked, just as the waiter came to the table with the food. If he heard the topic of conversation, he didn’t let it show.

  This was exactly what Kensie needed after a stressful few weeks. She’d been working around the clock to plan a fundraiser for her art program, and to make matters worse, Jam had started house hunting. The tour was nearly done, and she and Ryder wanted to be settled in before she was too pregnant to do it. While Kensie was happy for her friend, she wondered where that would leave her.

  After Carter’s visit, things got better. They talked and talked, and talked some more, but she still couldn’t say I love you. What if she’d never be able to say it? He promised to wait, but how long could she expect him to live in limbo? Sighing, she shoved those thoughts away and resolved to focus on her friends.

  “Spill, Cousin Quinn, tell us if Javi is packing?”

  “I’ll tell you about Javi, if you tell me about Ry. Is it true what they say?”

  “Hmm?” Jam hummed around a fork full of Belgian waffle.

  “Does he really have a Prince Albert?”

  “Oh, that? Yeah.” Kensie nodded absently as her friend choked on her waffle. Her phone lit up and Kensie wondered if Jam was too stunned to notice if she slid it back into her pocket?

  “What kind of freaky shit are you guys into?” Lo squealed. “And here I thought I was the wild one.”

  “It’s not like I went seeking out that information, it found me,” Kensie clarified, signaling the server for another round of drinks.

  “How the hell did it find you?” Quinn asked, half-amused, half-horrified.

  “I saw it.” She shrugged, taking note of the pulsating vein on the side of Jam’s neck. She was having fun watching the blonde squirm.

  “When?”

  “Carter’s birthday. I went to get my phone out of your bag and the two of you were passed out on top of the covers.”

  “And you looked? You perv,” Jamie shrieked, throwing her napkin at Kensie.

  “I didn’t mean to look, but I couldn’t not look.” Kensie winked, earning her another napkin to the side of her face.

  “Oh, you bitch,” Jamie chuckled. “I get to peek at CT’s dick when they get back.”

  “Well, technically you already saw it.” Kensie felt her face reddening at the mention of the toy Carter had made for her. It was nowhere near as good as the real thing, but FaceTime combined with an active imagination, and it got the job done.

  “The dildo?” Jam wondered aloud.

  “Yup.” Kensie nodded, pressing her legs together.

  “I’m impressed,” Jam whistled, before adding, “But I still want to see the real thing. Fair is fair.”

  “Whoa. Whoa, wait a goddamn minute. What am I missing here? Since when are we allowed to even say that name, let alone whatever the hell this is?” Quinn motioned wildly around the table.

  “It’s a work in progress,” Kensie confessed. “They surprised us a couple weeks ago.”

  “When the OKC show got canceled?”

  Jamie narrowed her eyes at Quinn. “How did you know?”

  “Carter’s my cousin.”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  “It’s on the internet.”

  “Are you sure Javi didn’t tell you?”

  Quinn blushed again, then turned to Kensie. “Are you guys back together?” Her eyes lit up. She had been rooting for the two of them since she found out they were sneaking around. Quinn and Carter were family, and she was one of the few people who had taken his side in his feud with Trey.

  “No, not technically, but he’s trying and I’m open to the idea that maybe, someday, we could be something again.”

  “Maybe and someday?” Jam snorted. Being sober made her kind of a bitch. “You’re so full of shit. I could absolutely hear you two having phone sex last night. Oh, Carter, that feels so good, don’t stop.”

  Lo cackled, and Kensie’s face turned beet red as she spoke, “Okay, back to Quinn and Javi.”

  “There is no Quinn and Javi. We hooked up a few times, but that’s it,” she said. There was something in her voice as she spoke, something sad, but also resigned, as if she’d made up her mind and there was no going back. “And anyway, let’s move on to why we’re really here, your birthday.”

  Kensie groaned, “I kind of want to do something low-key.”

  “Portland?” Quinn offered. />
  “Not that low-key,” Lo chimed in.

  “What about Miami?” Jam suggested.

  “I don’t think so,” Kensie sighed. Normally, she’d be into the idea of a weekend away with her friends, but there was only one place she wanted to be. She snatched her phone before Jamie could protest.

  “You’re lucky the food is here,” Jamie grumbled.

  Kensie: I wish things were different.

  Peter Pan: What do you mean?

  Kensie: I mean, I wish we met under normal circumstances. I wish we had a normal relationship. I wish we could just be normal.

  Peter Pan: I don’t.

  Kensie: Why? Think of how much better life would be if we didn’t have all this shit between us?

  Peter Pan: Different doesn’t always mean better. What we have is messy and maybe right now it’s a little broken, but it’s real and it’s ours.

  Kensie: How can it work?

  Peter Pan: Because it’s us.

  Kensie sighed, dropping the phone back on the table. “I think I know what I want to do for my birthday.”

  “What?”

  “Vegas.”

  “But that isn’t low-key—” Jam began but stopped as realization washed across the blonde’s face.

  “Anyone care to fill us in?’ Lo asked.

  “Kensie’s birthday—December eleventh—is also the last date of the tour, which happens to be in—”

  “Vegas!” Quinn squealed, jumping up and down in her seat.

  “Maybe, someday my ass,” Jam mumbled.

  The flight from SeaTac to McCarran International Airport was a quiet one. Even with her friends surrounding her and the excitement of the weekend ahead, Kensie couldn’t shake her nerves. She’d planned this weekend down to the second, poured her heart into every detail, and now that it was here, she was losing her shit.

  Doubt flooded her mind around the same time the 757 landed on the tarmac. Men like Carter were unpredictable. She once saw that impulsiveness as a flaw, and in Stephan, it was, but with Carter, it was magnetic. She was drawn to him, the lost boy searching for his happy place, but never in a million years did she think she’d end up being that for him. What’s more, he was that for her.