An Unplanned Lesson

by Beth Rinyu

  "Do you need some help?" Dailan asked as he stood in the doorway.

  I was speechless, unable to breathe. I could feel myself hyperventilating.

  "Nicole, what's the matter?" Dailan asked with concern as he rushed over, placing his arm around me to support my trembling legs. I was still holding tightly to the elephant. It was all coming together; yesterday was Ryan’s birthday, the day that I always tried to put out of my mind. I was so preoccupied with my brother’s funeral that I didn’t have time even to think about it. I looked at Ryan and began to burst into tears. I broke free from Dailan and found the strength in my legs to run down the steps, clenching to the elephant as I ran out the front door.

  Dailan came chasing after me and I had almost made it to my car before he grabbed my arm and stopped me. "Nicole, what just happened?"

  I shook my head, still unable to speak.

  "Nicole, please," he begged as he braced his hands on my shoulders.

  I swallowed hard, trying to get my voice to work. "Dailan, were Connie and Gerry Ryan’s birth parents?”

  Dailan looked at me strangely. “No, Ryan was adopted. I thought that you already knew that. Ryan’s known ever since he could understand. Connie felt that it was important that he knew he had another mother out there somewhere.” The tears began to flow even harder as Dailan tried his best to wipe them away. “Nicole what is wrong?”

  “Dailan, Ryan is my son.”

  “What?” He looked at me with disbelief.

  “I got pregnant in high school. I was stupid and careless and I actually believed him when he told me that you couldn’t get pregnant the first time. I thought that he really loved me. I found out how much he did, when he left for college that September and I was stuck to face the aftermath alone.”

  Dailan looked at me sympathetically as he continued to wipe the tears from my eyes. “How do you know that Ryan is your son?”

  “This elephant was my brother’s. When he was little, he carried it everywhere. He gave it to me when I was eight years old and in the hospital getting my tonsils out. It meant so much to me. I asked my adoption counselor to give this to my child’s mother, so he could have a little piece of me.” I turned it over to show him the initials on the bottom. “JM – Justin Morgan, my brother.”

  “Wow,” Dailan whispered, looking like he was in total shock.

  “My dad hated me for it. He was so into appearances that he even went against his religious beliefs and wanted me to have an abortion so no one would know that his teenage daughter was pregnant. I’ve spent the last eight years of my life punishing myself for what I did.”

  “What did you do, Nicole?”

  “I gave my baby away. A baby that grew inside of me for nine months, that would make me smile with every move that he made. I just gave him away. I didn’t even hold him after he was born. I couldn’t. I knew I wouldn’t be able to let him go if I did. What kind of mother does that?” I broke down once again in his arms.

  “Nicole, you didn’t give him away. What you did was the most unselfish thing another human being could do. My brother and sister-in-law loved that little boy with all their heart. They were the happiest people in the world the day that Ryan came into their lives.” The seriousness in Dailan’s voice didn’t even sound like him.

  I hugged him tightly until I felt myself calming down and able to breathe again. “I don’t know what to do, Dailan.”

  “That’s up to you. You can go in there and tell him the truth or you can just tell him you have a phobia of little plaid elephants,” he said, sounding more like the Dailan that I knew. I forced a smile as I wiped away a tear. “Whatever you choose to do, I will be here for you, and you will be in his life forever, whether it’s as his aunt or his mom.”

  He took me by surprise. I looked up at him in shock trying to figure out if I had just interpreted his words correctly. “Yes, Nicole, I’m asking you to marry me. This isn’t the time or place that I planned to do it, so I’m not quite prepared.”

  I smiled, this time crying tears of happiness. “Well, that’s okay, ‘cause I never took you for the down-on-one-knee type of guy anyway,” I said.

  “So I guess you’re going to make me wait for an answer.”

  “Oh, Mr. O’Maley, whatever happened to your motto of patience paying off?”

  “I think I’ve been patient enough where you’re concerned,” he smirked.

  I took a deep breath, knowing there was nothing more in life that I wanted more. “Yes, Dailan O’Maley, I would be honored to be your wife.” I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him as tightly as I could.

  He pulled away for a brief moment and extended his hand to me. “What the heck are you doing?” I asked.

  “Well, I told you I wasn’t prepared for this right now, so let’s shake on it until I get you your ring.”

  “You are crazy, you know that?” I shook my head and smiled as I extended my hand to him. He pulled me toward him and kissed me.

  “Dailan, I want to tell him. I don’t want any more secrets.”

  “Okay,” he said as he took my hand in his.

  We walked into the house. Ryan was in the great room, setting up his racetrack.

  Jack O’Maley, Lisa, and her husband immediately stood up. “Is everything okay?” Lisa asked.

  I nodded.

  “Can you guys please excuse us for just a minute?” Dailan asked. They quickly obliged as they walked out of the room.

  I held Dailan’s hand as I walked over to where Ryan was sitting down on the floor. “Ryan, I need to tell you something.” Ryan looked up at me, smiling widely. I looked into his hazel eyes, finally recognizing them as the same ones that had stared back at me in the mirror my entire life. I took a deep breath and squeezed Dailan’s hand tighter, knowing that he would always be there for me, never letting go. Yes, I could do this….

  Epilogue

  The months flew by and before I knew it, Christmas was here again. I had finally put my fear of raw poultry behind me, along with many other fears, and prepared the turkey with ease. Miss Morgan was no longer the teacher in Room 114 - Mrs. O’Maley was. Dailan and I married over the summer with a small intimate ceremony overlooking the beautiful Irish countryside. After a very short engagement, which included a second more formal proposal, the most beautiful ring I had ever seen and, believe or not, Dailan down on one knee - just to prove me wrong , no doubt!

  Ryan and I had transitioned from the role of teacher/student to mother/child with ease, thanks in large part to Dailan, who had been there for me every step of the way.

  My parents had now become a constant in my life and had opted to extend the lease on their summer rental right into the winter. I had been spending a lot of time with them and they were overjoyed when I revealed Ryan’s identity. He seemed to be the best medicine in helping them deal with the loss of my brother.

  I thought about my brother often and although the pain was fading, the memories were not. There was nothing in the world I wished for more, than for him to have met his nephew. I felt like he had played an intricate role in reuniting me with my son. If it weren’t for that little stuffed animal that he had given me all those years ago, I might have never known who Ryan really was.

  I also thought about the woman who had been there for my child when I wasn’t able to be. I knew that even though she was no longer here, she played a big part in making the transition so easy for Ryan and me. I was thankful to her every day for being so open with him about his past and allowing a little piece of me into his heart. I, in turn would make sure I returned the favor, never letting Ryan forget that he had another mother in heaven. I only hoped that I would make her proud, taking over where she had left off.

  Dailan and I bought a new home together. Well, not exactly new. It was a four-bedroom cape cod, which I instantly fell in love with because it had character, something that I found was lacking in the newer homes. Even though Dailan protested that he wanted something brand new, he finally gave in. I had so much
fun lovingly restoring it into something from a magazine. I knew that I was driving Dailan crazy with my indecisiveness when it came to paint colors, flooring, and kitchen cabinets, but he took it all in stride and never once complained. He would just roll his eyes at me in the usual Dailan way.

  “Do you need help with that?” Dailan asked as he entered the kitchen.

  “Nope, I got it.” I smiled.

  He wrapped his arms around my waist and whispered in my ear, “Happy Christmas, beautiful.”

  I gently caressed his face. “Merry Christmas.” He pulled me closer and kissed me gently on the lips, still making me melt, like it was the very first time.

  I broke free from Dailan’s embrace when I saw my mother in the doorway. She was grinning from ear to ear. “Sorry to interrupt, but can I have some scissors before your father hurts himself trying to get the packaging undone from Ryan’s toy.”

  Dailan grabbed the scissors from the drawer. “I’ll bring them out to him, Mrs. Morgan,” he said as he whisked past my mother.

  “Dailan, I’m your mother-in-law. You don’t have to call me ‘Mrs. Morgan.’”

  “Get used to it, Mom. I think he was calling me ‘Miss Morgan’ until the day we got married.” We both began to laugh as she put her arm around me. I rested my head on her shoulder as we looked out into the living room at Ryan and Dailan battling it out in a video game.

  “You lose – again,” Dailan teased Ryan.

  “That’s because you cheated – again,” Ryan responded back.

  “Sometimes I wonder who the child is,” I said to my mother.

  I smiled inwardly watching the two of them. I was linked to Ryan by blood. But he and Dailan shared something even more special; they had a history and together we would have his future. Dailan handed the controller to my dad as Ryan began to explain how to use each button.

  “Oh, I’ve got to see this,” my mother said as she went out into the living room.

  I followed behind her and plopped down on Dailan’s lap. I watched the man on the TV screen that was being controlled by my dad run about aimlessly. Ryan instructed him as to which buttons to press. The laughter in the air filled my heart with joy. I rested my head on Dailan’s shoulder. “I love you so much,” I whispered in his ear.

  “I love you too.” He placed his hand on my belly, revealing that familiar crooked smile that made me melt.

  My eyes fixated to the little plaid elephant sitting on the mantle. I was finally at peace with myself. My relationship with my parents had been restored and I had found my son. A smile stretched across my face as I thought about the new life growing inside of me that would be here in another seven months. It was my little secret for now, one that I shared with only one other person; my hot Irish guy – the love of my life – Mr. Dailan O’Maley.