And Then Came A Lion (Lions and Lambs Book 1)

by Cecilia Marie Pulliam

  “I know that.”

  “Too many miss that point. For reasons too varied to fathom, people reject the idea of forgiveness. Others are too stubborn to ask. Doing so would require them to admit they’re wrong and change their behavior, which they are too proud and too self-centered to do. Ego is extremely dangerous, and is one of the root causes of so much sin.”

  “Ego? As in self-will?”

  “Yes, in part. Ego believes the world revolves around it. It makes us stubborn, unwilling to admit we are wrong, pushes our needs before anyone, or anything else. We are not any different than those we accuse of being sinners.”

  “I am not like those pedophiles!”

  “No, Susannah, you do not perpetrate that kind of pain on others, but we all act in unkind ways, more subtly perhaps, but it’s there. What makes the difference is our effort to do things differently.”

  “I know, but it seems the more I try to forgive and not seek revenge, the more I hate them.”

  Dr. Forrester nodded. “You’re trying to do it alone, on your own strength, and it’s impossible.”

  “So, what am I supposed to do?”

  “Take some time today to reflect and contemplate. Don’t struggle with thought, or try to force your emotions. Allow your mind to become empty and let God do the rest.”

  “Seems a bit simplistic.”

  “It is simple, when we get out of His way.”

  “I’ll take your word for it.”

  “Just think about it, Susannah.”

  Barbara met her outside of the office. “Are you okay?”

  “Mostly.”

  “How about another cup of coffee before we start our chores?”

  “I’ll take coffee anytime.”

  She followed Barbara over to the dining area. They fixed their coffee and sat at the table. Susannah’s thoughts still whirled around Dr. Forrester’s admonishments. Meditate on what? How much she hated the sin and the sinner? How would that gain anything but make her more miserable? And, what about this Daniel, and growing old with someone, and seeing God’s goodness in the land of the living? What about all that? Was she to take that in the literal sense?

  The compound was eerily empty.

  “Where is everyone?”

  “Scattered out doing chores, I guess. I’ll be going with Phillip on a few errands, but I’ll back before dinner. What has Dr. Forrester scheduled for you?”

  “Not much.”

  She wasn’t about to spend idle time sitting around thinking of things that made no sense, or were beyond her meager ability to do.

  “Maybe I’ll drift over to Susan’s office and see what I can do to assist.”

  Jonah!

  Go away!

  Barbara was watching her closely. “Are you all right? You seem a bit distracted.”

  “It’s the old Indian.”

  Barbara looked around. “He’s here?”

  “He hasn’t manifested. I just hear him.”

  “What is he saying?”

  “Nagging me.”

  Barbara nodded. “Right. Well, I’ll catch you tonight. Oh, thought I should remind you we will be heading home day after tomorrow. Our tour of duty has come to an end.”

  Susannah paused, her coffee cup just touching her lips. “Already? It seems like I just got here, and then sometimes it feels like I’ve been away from home my entire life.”

  “Have you decided what you want to do when you get back? Are you going back to your old job?”

  “I don’t know. Perhaps it’s time to do something else. I just don’t know what.”

  “I am sure something will come along and inspire you.” Barbara smiled. “Maybe that old Indian will have a suggestion.”

  “Or maybe not.”

  Barbara laughed.

  Susannah set her cup in the bin with the other dirty dishes. “I am a bit short on inspiration at the moment and that is usually when the old Indian fills in the gaps. I just hope I survive. ”

  “You have so far, right? And God’s ways are always better for us, and others, even if it appears to make us miserable.”

  “You sound like Dr. Forrester.”

  “I guess his lectures to me have rubbed off a bit. I know what to say, just have trouble doing it.”

  “I know exactly what you mean.”

  ***

  Susannah half listened to the conversations flowing around the evening fire. Dr. Forrester was right. She was being stubborn. Letting go of the hate and her puffed-up sense of justice seemed condescending and weak, when in reality it was the cause of her weakness. Her hate didn’t affect the pedophiles, but it certainly affected her life.

  Susannah went over to Dr. Forrester. “May I speak a moment with you?”

  “Certainly.”

  He excused himself from the small group he was with and walked with her to the office. He flipped on the lights and gestured for her to sit.

  “I think I’m ready to try that forgiveness exercise.”

  Dr. Forrester nodded. “I saw you staring into the fire. It’s Daniel again, isn’t it?”

  “Daniel?”

  “Yes, remember Sidrach, Misach, and Abendego?”

  “Oh yes, the three young men the king threw into the furnace. It seems I’ve seen almost as many references to fire as I have lions.”

  “God saved them from both.”

  “Yes, but it’s how the flames and lions manifest that worries me.”

  “True, but remember, keep an open mind, expect God to do more than you can imagine.”

  “I try, but I still falter.”

  “We all do, Susannah, repeatedly.”

  “And you are right, I am acting like Jonah. I don’t want to change, don’t want to let go of the hate. If I do, it seems like the bad guys win, and it doesn’t seem to matter how hard I try to ignore God, or where I go, He’s there, waiting, nagging me with lions, or something, reminding me what I am supposed to do, what He wants me to do. At least I haven’t been swallowed like Jonah.”

  “Not yet.” Dr. Forrester laughed, and held up his hands. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. Yet, I am sure God will increase His nudges until you either listen, or reject Him altogether, even then I don’t think He will leave you alone.”

  “So much for free will.”

  “Do you not want God to find you?”

  “Yes and no. The things He nags me about are not comfortable choices.”

  Dr. Forrester smiled. “Yes, God does nag those He loves. And a good thing too, or none of us would follow His leading. Unless we do His will, we will never be truly happy.”

  “So you’ve said. To me, it seems to be the opposite. If I don’t pay attention and just live my life, it seems simpler.”

  “Does it really, Susannah?”

  Susannah looked down at the floor and shook her head. “No. I guess that isn’t true. But, what He asks is so hard.”

  “Yes, it is. As God said to Saint Therese, ‘That’s the way I treat all of my friends.’ And, she retorted, ‘And exactly why You have so few.’”

  “I believe it.”

  “Are you ready, then?”

  “I guess I am.”

  “You know, Susannah, forgiveness is important, without it you cannot lead a balanced, happy life, physically or spiritually. It is essential, or you drag all of the painful baggage along wherever you go, and that will certainly color your life in misery. Do you agree?”

  Susannah nodded.

  “Do you know you are forgiven?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. Now, let me read something from Scripture.”

  Picking up his tattered old Bible, he opened the Holy Book to a pre-marked page, and read. “Forbearing one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive. Colossians 3:13.”

  He closed the Bible and set it aside.

  Susannah said, “I say the words, but they’re empty. I can’t seem to find the key to open my heart and forgive
.”

  “That is part of being human, especially under the horrific circumstances you’ve faced. Together we will explore those feelings and discover what is standing in your way.

  “First, I want you to close your eyes and picture the worst moment during your assault. Now, turn and face your attacker, tell him how much he hurt you and how he made you feel. Tell him how angry you are.”

  Paralyzed with fear, Susannah could only shake her head.

  “I’ll say the words and you can repeat them after me.”

  She couldn’t do that either.

  “We’ll let that go for the moment. Stay relaxed, and let me read another Scripture.” He lifted the old Book and turned to another pre-marked passage. “Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them, for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6.”

  Susannah nodded that she understood.

  “Now, one more: ‘Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord: though your sins be like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow, though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool.’ Isaiah 1:18.”

  Dr. Forrester laid the Book down and looked at Susannah. “Do you believe the scripture?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. Now I want you to visualize Jesus on the cross.”

  Susannah closed her eyes and pictured the Crucifixion.

  After a moment, he asked. “Has Jesus come down from the cross and is He holding you?”

  Susannah shook her head. She saw something far more powerful. Brian Falun stood behind the cross. As she watched, Jesus transposed His face over Brian’s. The hate, the anger, and bitterness left her heart. Susannah forgave. She forgave the monsters, all of them – and then, she forgave herself.

  Dr. Forrester said nothing, nor did he move to comfort her. He waited, allowing the deep-seated emotions to run their course.

  When the tears finally stopped, Susannah raised her head. She felt different, lighter.

  “Do you want to talk about what happened, Susannah?”

  She shook her head. “Not yet.”

  “I understand. I suggest you spend some time alone. Then we’ll speak again.”

  Susannah nodded.

  “Phillip is going to run into town and take care of some errands, how about you go with him – now wait a minute – not to run errands. I thought perhaps you’d like to return to the falls and spend an hour or two there by yourself. Nothing like sitting in a natural wonder to enhance spiritual contemplation and meditation.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Susannah sat on a bench overlooking the nearest edge of the falls and soaked in the wonder of her new world. Things were different. It seemed like a dingy curtain had been torn down, revealing a world with bright colors. She wasn’t imagining it. The world was brighter and she felt weightless. The heavy weight she’d carried for so many years was gone, lifted, evaporated, disintegrated. Even with all the worries and grief waiting for her at home, none of it would be quite as difficult.

  She wanted to laugh, and dance, and cry all at the same time, expunging all the emotions she had bottled up for so long.

  Closing her eyes, she leaned back against the bench and listened. Monkeys chattered. A Peahen called. Another answered. Doves cooed from a nearby tree, African dove. Susannah didn’t know their official name. They weren’t like the ones back home. Their coo was so different, and like so many other things, if ever heard again, would instantly flash her back to Africa.

  The old Indian appeared. “See the rainbow, Susannah? It is a reminder of God’s promises. He will give you the desires of your heart if you give Him your heart and trust Him. Hold onto your faith, Susannah, and see what God has planned for you.”

  He disappeared.

  Yes, hold onto her faith, trust, and believe. It was time to go home, time to go back to her life. Perhaps not totally healed, but at least with the deepest wounds mended, and armed with God’s promises. Rainbows, lions, bluebirds, fire, Daniel, and her heart’s desires, what exactly were they? And, did it really matter? She could just let go, not worry so much and let God sort it all out. That was the true miracle, wasn’t it? Letting go of not just the hate, but also all the worry.

  She stood and surveyed the park, memorizing each detail, particularly the perpetual rainbow splayed against the thickest portion of the falls. It was the brightest she had seen in a long, long time.

  Africa, especially Victoria Falls, would always hold a special place in her heart. It was where her life restarted. Was this what some referred to as being born again? No wonder so many searched for it.

  Phillip sensed she was deep in thought and didn’t offer any small talk on the ride back to the mission. Susannah appreciated that. However, this time her thoughts weren’t sad or self-chastising. She wasn’t running down a litany of sorrows. No, this time the sky was a perpetual blue filled with rainbows and bluebirds and sunshine. Perhaps a few storm clouds might temporarily block the sun, but it would reappear.

  A raspy voice whispered. “If that’s what you want to think.”

  Susannah jumped.

  Phillip looked over at her. “Are you okay?”

  She nodded. Where had that come from? Were the storm clouds gathering so soon?

  Back at the mission, Susannah insisted she assist with sorting, dispensing, and anything else to keep busy, not to mention surrounded with people.

  That evening, Susannah stayed around the fire, leaving only when the last group filtered away toward their sleeping quarters. She walked with the largest group until the last moment, and then dashed to her chalet.

  Barbara was still up, reading by candlelight.

  She looked up as Susannah bolted the door. “Are you okay? You’ve been acting a little strange all day.”

  Susannah sat down on her bed. She glanced at the other women. They appeared to be asleep, but still she hesitated.

  Barbara stood up. “Let’s sit out on the porch.”

  They sat on the steps.

  “So, what’s happened?”

  Susannah explained about the voice.

  “Did you tell Dr. Forrester?”

  “Not yet. He was busy all day.”

  “Plan to?”

  “I don’t think I have time now. We leave pretty early tomorrow and he’s staying.”

  “True. Let’s pray then, and ask God to protect you.”

  “Yes, I’d like that.”

  They clasped hands and bowed their heads.

  ***

  Holding back tears, Susannah hugged the staff and then Dr. Forrester.

  “Thank you” She whispered before pulling back.

  “I didn’t do anything, Susannah. You did all the work. I just showed you the How-To manual.”

  She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and climbed into the back seat of the van. She gazed out over the mission compound and across the bush toward the falls. The other volunteers were right. The bad thing about coming to Africa was the desire to come back, even before you left.

  As the van pulled out, she memorized every detail, even cracking the window enough to allow the early morning scents to fill the cab. Neither Phillip nor Barbara complained about the cool air.

  It seemed the way of the world, always a mix of the good and the bad. Well, she was going to focus on the good rather than the bad. She wasn’t ready to let go of her new world, regardless of what, or who, tried to snatch it away.

  The plane flew a slow circle low over the falls. The mist, soaring hundreds of feet in the air, did indeed look like perpetual thunderheads. The swath of dark green marking the perimeter of the rain forest ended abruptly as if The Master Artist drew a line along the river. Beyond stretched the arid bush, horizon to horizon.

  A group of elephants headed toward the watering hole, trailed by Cape buffalo. Wildebeest and zebra were drinking, along with Impala and the Little Pigs. She would miss so much.

  Angling north, they flew over the town of Victoria Fal
ls. Susannah could just make out the mission compound a few miles to the south. The plane climbed to cruising altitude and the earth slid away until it was lost below the clouds.

  ***

  Susannah rubbed Buddy’s ears. The last six weeks had slipped by so quickly. So much had changed, not so much the outside world, but the inside. There were the children, always the children, yet this time it was different. She hated what the pedophiles did, and wanted their predations stopped, but her first thought wasn’t revenge. Her thoughts now centered on rescue and incarceration.

  There had only been a few kidnappings since she came back to the States, and nothing as dramatic as the one in Africa. It felt like she was being allowed to slowly get her feet wet, building to the bigger and more complicated rescues, and last night’s premonition indicated things were about to get very complicated.

  The upcoming crime was not a snatch and run by a lone individual, but a crime well planned by a large ring of human traffickers, bold enough to pull off a home invasion ― scary on all fronts.

  According to the old Indian, it would occur later in the week. With the usual exact detail, the dream showed the children taken from their home and placed in a white van. Was this a signature vehicle of this particular group?

  The children were taken to a huge warehouse. Inside were many other children, held like animals, so similar a situation as the one in Africa. Was this group affiliated? Seemed improbable, yet the similarities were hard to dismiss.

  Then, with so few resources available to her as an individual, how would she manage to stop a group of this scope? And, if they were connected to the cult, what of the supernatural aspects? She remembered the demon’s words in the cult’s subterranean tunnel. Who did they think she was? The old Indian hadn’t mentioned anything about that ― yet.

  Witness.

  Susannah groaned and sank to her knees. The last time she played witness, people died. Yet, what other recourse did she have? If she did nothing, she condemned children to lives of terrible slavery and some to horrific deaths.

  Buddy edged closer and nudged her with his nose.

  Susannah pulled him into her arms. “Oh, Buddy, I wish I had someone to talk to. Someone I could run ideas by. The old Indian is great about showing me the problem, but he doesn’t help at all in the what-to-do department. I’m left to figure it out on my own, and sometimes, like now, I just don’t know what to do.”