by Bart King
Sometimes, you just really need someone who can talk to a fish.
And Aquaman has a big heart. There’s more than twenty thousand species of fish—and Aquaman cares about them all. That’s why he started an undersea hospital for sea creatures.
This hospital came in handy the time that Aquaman got shot. While lantern fish provided light for the operation, suckerfish sucked out the bullets from the superhero’s wound. And a nurse shark even took care of him! (Okay, I made that last bit up.)
Aquaman can swim down to any depth. Of course, fish dive down all the time. That’s because fish have a gas bladder that holds air. If the fish wants to dive down, it leaks air from its bladder. If the fish wants to rise up, it adds air to its bladder.
So Aquaman must do the same thing. And that means he’s probably the only superhero with a gas bladder!
Heavyweight Hero: To survive beneath the ocean’s great pressures, Aquaman’s body is superdense. So he weighs 325 pounds!
* * *
[21] Answer: False! Everyone knows that adamantium claws can’t cut a steel/vibranium alloy.
[22] Clark Kent’s also able to hypnotize people to not notice that he looks exactly like Superman.
Supervillains and Other Ethically Challenged People!
“A superhero without a great villain is like a day without sunshine.”
—Stan Lee (creator of Spider-Man, the X-Men, Thor, etc.)
As a superhero, you need three things:
A costume
A secret identity
An archenemy
That’s right, an enemy! What else are you going to do if you’re not fighting evildoers? “Right wrongs”? Bor-ring.
Luckily for you, the world is chock-full of bad guys. It turns out that there are dozens of villains for every superhero. And sometimes these criminals are awfully easy to spot.
Spot the Supervillain!
But the sneakier villains are harder to identify. To practice, try spotting the supervillains you meet in your day-to-day life. Once you start looking, you’ll find these annoying people are everywhere. You know, like the mean waiter at the restaurant who says, “You can only order off the kids’ menu.”
But is just being annoying enough to be considered evil?
YES.
As your evil-spotting skills improve, you’ll learn something interesting. Most people aren’t all good or all bad. Green Lantern learned this the hard way when he said to his power ring, “Get rid of all the evil that is plaguing mankind!”
Suddenly, everyone on Earth disappeared—because everyone has some evil inside.
So take a look in the mirror. Are you actually a good person? Or is it just possible you could somehow become a villain? Maybe all it would take for you to turn to the dark side is...
One Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day
Many villains were once normal, everyday citizens. Take Harvey Dent. He worked for law and order, and called Batman his friend. But then Harvey had a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day.[23] And after something terrible happened to Harvey, he became something terrible. Namely, Harvey became the villain known as Two-Face.
But what other kinds of awful events could drive a normal person to crime? You’d be surprised.
At breakfast: “My pancakes are soggy.”
At lunch: “This sandwich got smushed.”
At dinner: “Peas?”
Result: “I will destroy the world!”
Some people need more than one bad day to turn bad. Scientist Otto Octavius broke up with his girlfriend. Then he saw his mom die. Finally, Otto suffered an accident in the lab. So no wonder he became the feared Doctor Octopus!
Of course, of all the “One Bad Day” villains, one is more famous than all the others combined.
The Joker
Nicknames: The Fiendish Funster, the Clown Prince of Crime, the Grinning Gargoyle of Greed, the Harlequin of Hate, the Mad Maestro of Mirth.
Former Identity: He once called himself “John Dough.”
Superpowers: Insanity. (Plus, he’s mean!)
Biography: At the beginning of his criminal career, the Joker was chased by Batman into a playing card company. There, he jumped into a chemical vat to escape. Oops! The chemicals dyed his skin white, his hair green, and his lips red. And they dyed his brain insane. (Talk about a bad day!)
Fun Facts: The Joker was supposed to be a “one-shot” villain who died and never appeared again. In his first appearance, the Joker murdered someone and stole a big diamond. So Robin tried hard to get Batman to pursue the criminal.
“Not yet,” Batman answered. “The time isn’t ripe.” (Uh...when will it be ripe?)
Superpower Activity
Get into the Mind of a Supervillain!
Supplies: Chessboard, action figures, acting ability.
Want to get into the head of a supervillain? Then try acting like one.
Buy or make some superhero action figures.
Put the action figures on a chessboard. See? They’re all just pawns in your evil game.
Now move the pieces around on the board and talk to yourself about yourself. Remember to cackle and make boastful threats.
Hey, have you ever noticed how many of Batman’s enemies are insane? Two-Face, the Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, the Joker, the Riddler, Bane...it’s crazy. And that reminds me of the next supervillain category—
The Mad Scientist
Obsessed researchers. Dangerous experiments. White lab coats.
These are all signs of a mad scientist. But what causes a scientist to go mad in the first place? Is it all that science homework?
Maybe! But often these villains just want to get revenge. (Most James Bond villains are like that.) Also, most mad scientists make the exact same mistake—they experiment on themselves. For example, there was a one-armed scientist named Dr. Curtis Connors. He wanted to help people grow back missing limbs.
Since lizards can grow back their tails, Connors used lizards for his research. Then he developed a special serum—and took it himself! (And of course Dr. Connors was alone when he did this.)
The good news was that Connors’ serum worked. He grew his arm back!
The bad news was he turned into a giant, insane, talking lizard. So his experiment had its pluses and minuses. Anyway, the mad scientist known as the Lizard became one of Spider-Man’s archenemies.
My Two Favorite Mad Scientists: The supervillain called Arsenal has an awesome secret identity name: Nimrod Strange. (No wonder he’s angry!) And scientist Wilbur Day committed crimes using “power stilts” that extended up to three hundred feet. So he was known as Stilt-Man.
High School Students
If you have an older sibling, you know how easily teenagers can become evil. Take Edward Nigma. He was an average high school student until his school held a jigsaw puzzle–solving contest that Edward won by cheating. So his lesson was that crime does pay. And that’s how “E. Nigma” started down the road of becoming the Riddler. Moral: Never enter school contests. They lead to a life of crime!
It’s Life or Death! The Riddler likes to trap superheroes in puzzles—and here’s one now! Imagine being locked in a room with six buttons in front of you. Each button has a letter on it: A, B, C, D, E, and F. You hear a voice: “Pick the letter that is most like death. If you pick the wrong one, you die!” Which button should you push?[24]
Match the Supervillain with His Archenemy!
1. The Red Skull a. The Fantastic Four
2. The Beagle Boys b. Captain America
3. Doctor Doom c. Wonder Woman
4. Kingpin d. Uncle Scrooge
5. Mars e. Daredevil
(See answers below.[25])
Misunderstood Villains
Strangely, we sometimes root for bad guys and girls. Somehow they get our sympathy! Think of Magneto, the Master of Magnetism. He was born as Erik Lehnsherr to a Jewish family in the late 1920s. After World War II started, the Nazis imprisoned young Erik in a concentration camp. There he r
ealized:
Small groups are always in danger from large groups.
He was a mutant who could move metal.
Sadly, Erik’s friends and family were all killed. So after Erik became Magneto and said, “I have wept over too many graves,” you have to feel bad for him. (And that also explains why Magneto wants to protect mutants from the humans.)
Fun Fact: Although Magneto can destroy skyscrapers, you could hit him pretty easily with a wooden baseball bat.
The Enemy Commander
Sometimes a supervillain just wants to conquer everyone. You know, like Darth Vader in Star Wars, or the evil Nazi named the Red Skull. He was second-in-command to Adolf Hitler during World War II.
How bad was the Red Skull? Captain America said the Red Skull liked to “revel in atrocity! Bask in evil! Delight in depravity!”
So that’s pretty bad.
What’s funny is that Captain America had a fan club called the Sentinels of Liberty. Its members were expected to help Captain America in any way they could. So during World War II, hundreds of kids in the fan club reported their friends and neighbors to the police as enemy “spies.” But of course, these people were totally innocent. (Kids! You’ve got to love them.)
Superpower Activity
Power Ray Tag!
Supplies: Three or more players, one power ray transmitter (a.k.a. “a flashlight”).
Power Ray Tag can only be played at night. And where you play has to be a safe place to run around without being destroyed. (So abandoned mine shafts and warehouses are a bad idea.)
Select a player who will be the superhero. He or she will try to catch the other players...who are all villains, of course!
There needs to be a jail where the “caught” villains are locked up. (This can just be a tree that they have to stand by.)
The superhero goes to a spot and starts counting to fifty. Meanwhile, the villains scatter. (But not too far!)
The superhero turns on his power ray transmitter and begins the search. If she spots a villain, she has to flash the person with the power ray transmitter and call the person’s name. (Example: “I see you, Arachnid-Man!”) The villain then goes to jail.
The last player to be discovered gets to be the superhero in the next round!
Artificial Villains
Sometimes, evildoers are too busy to commit crimes themselves. So they build substitute villains! Take Brainiac. This green-skinned android was made by aliens on a distant planet. (An “android” is an artificial human.) Brainiac is incredibly intelligent. He’s basically an evil computer who can walk around and make trouble.
For example, Brainiac shrank an entire city down and stuck the whole thing in a jar. And there were still real people in it and everything! (Uncool, Brainiac. Uncool.)
Superhero Vocabulary! Once, an evil android named Ultron made another android named the Vision, who ended up joining the Avengers. But what do you call an android made by an android? (Answer below![26])
Superpower Activity
How to Deal with a Supervillain!
Supplies: Bubble wrap, scissors, supervillain, supervillain’s toilet.
Get some bubble wrap. Cut off two small pieces of it—and don’t pop the bubbles.
Underneath the supervillain’s toilet seats are two small knobs or ridges. These rest on the porcelain rim of the toilet. Place the cut-out bits of bubble wrap under these knobs. Gently lower the toilet seat onto them.
Make sure the bubble wrap isn’t sticking out or looking suspicious.
Wait. When the supervillain goes into the bathroom and sits on the seat, there will be two loud pops!
Watch the supervillain flee your city, never to return. (And be sure to dispose of the bubble wrap properly.)
Aliens
Some visitors from other worlds are peaceful. But others, like Thanos, just want to fight superheroes and make trouble for Earthlings. And of these aliens, there’s one who’s so powerful even Superman can’t defeat him!
He’s Mr. Mxyzptlk, an imp from the fifth dimension. (I guess they don’t have vowels in the fifth dimension!) Since Mr. Mxyzptlk comes from a different dimension, Superman’s superpowers are no use against him. As for the little imp with the big name, he can float on air, bring objects to life, become invisible, and teleport anywhere.
That’s Right: The first thing Mr. Mxyzptlk ever said was, “Confusing, aren’t I?”
Like all imps, Mr. Mxyzptlk is mischievous. But Superman discovers a way to stop this troublemaker. You just have to get Mr. Mxyzptlk to say his own name backwards. Then he goes back to the fifth dimension.
For the record, that’s “Kltpzyxm.” (And if you can say that out loud, you get to go to another dimension too![27])
Nematode Alert! Captain Marvel’s archenemy was the mysterious Mr. Mind. Nobody knew who this villain was. But eventually Mr. Mind was revealed to be...a worm.
Supervillain Teams
What’s the only thing worse than an insane criminal with superpowers? Twenty insane criminals with superpowers!
My favorite supervillain team is the F-Men. This was a bunch of kids who were kidnapped by an evil genius. First, the genius turned the kids into versions of their favorite superhero characters. Yay! And then he made them commit crimes. Boo!
The F-Men were obviously a take-off on the X-Men. So see if you can match up these F-Men with their X-Men counterparts. (See answers below.[28])
1. Drizzle makes bad weather. a. Nightcrawler
2. Clodhoppus can turn into concrete. b. Cyclops
3. The Weasel grows “petulantium” fangs. c. Storm
4. Slimesquirmer can teleport—and make milk go sour! d. Ariel
5. Airhead passes through solid objects. e. Colossus
6. Zitpops can pop his mutant pimples in destructive blasts! f. Wolverine
The Specialized Villain
Some villains have very specific skills—like the Top. His superpower revolves around spinning things, like whirlwinds and tornadoes. The Top also liked to spin himself around really fast. He insisted the “spinning action increases my brain power!”
Really? Let me try.
*starts spinning*
Whoa, I must be doing something wrong! Because this is only increasing my barfing power. L
Four Reasons People Become Supervillains
Even though it’s evil and stuff, the carefree life of a supervillain can be awfully tempting. Here’s why:
It’s Fun! Besides Tony Stark, most superheroes don’t enjoy themselves. Instead, they’re always worrying about doing the “right thing.” Supervillains, on the other hand, are having a great time. They don’t have to worry about playing by the rules. Know why? THERE ARE NO RULES.
Just look at Thor’s brother Loki. He’s the god of mischief. That sounds like a lot of fun. And think of the Joker—he’s got a smile and a kind word for everyone!
Well, a smile anyway.
Supervillains Don’t Get Picked On! Who wants to say something mean to an evil mastermind? Anyone? Anyone?
That’s what I thought.
Convenience! Villains don’t usually bother with a secret identity. That’s because embracing the dark side is a full-time job.
Shazam! Darth Vader made me toast once. (But it was a little on the dark side.)
Power! Sure, helping people has its rewards. But once you have the power to crush the Earth in your fist, these three words make being a supervillain totally worth it: free frozen yogurt.
Friend or foe?
Genesis of a supervillain: Long ago, tales were told of Grendel, a horrible villain feared for his attacks on the local castle. Why was Grendel so mean? Because the happy singing from the castle really annoyed him!
The Criminal Mastermind
Does your school have a Gifted and Talented Program? If so, it may have a criminal mastermind who’s directing some complex and evil scheme.
The most famous mastermind is Superman’s nemesis, Lex Luthor. As a teenager, Lex lived in Smallville and became fr
iends with young Clark Kent.
But their friendship went downhill after Lex got caught in a science lab fire. During the fire he inhaled bad stuff like kryptonite dust and radiation. Clark Kent blew the fire out with his superbreath, but it was too late: the chemicals and radiation make Lex Luthor go bald.
And he was just a kid. Bummer!
Lex’s teenage baldness turned him into a criminal mastermind. (That’s what baldness can do to a person!) But while Lex is bad, he isn’t bloodthirsty. See, he doesn’t actually want to kill Superman. Instead, he likes tricking the Man of Steel. Then while Superman is confused, Lex puts his evil schemes into action.
Amazingly, Lex Luthor also does good deeds. He’s donated millions of dollars to charity. And Luthor once saved an entire planet from destruction! Its people were so happy they renamed the planet Lexor in his honor. How nice!