by Jessie Cooke
“Oh! No...I mean, doctor sent me for a smile kit...” Paige did roll her eyes then. The woman was still staring openly at Garrett. Paige pointed to the room behind the woman and said:
“They’re in there. Do you need me to show you?”
“Oh,” the woman said, her face suddenly reddening. She pulled her eyes off of Garrett and looked at Paige. “No, I got it, thanks.” Paige shook her head and said:
“This way, Garrett.” He smiled at the woman as he passed her and her face turned a darker shade of scarlet. It was nice to know sometimes that people didn’t stare at him just because he was so big.
22
Paige was doing all she could to maintain the calm, professional demeanor. At least the effect he had on the office girls proved the kind of power this man had over women just by his sheer presence. What the hell was he doing here, though? She wasn’t supposed to be back at work until the next day and she’d planned on spending the day with him, talking. He’d nixed that, though, so she came to work, and now he wanted to talk. It figured.
She opened the door to her office and even before he followed her inside, she knew how uncomfortable it was going to be. He had to duck to fit through the doorway and even when she slipped behind the desk, he didn’t look like he had enough room to even turn around if he wanted to. She took a breath to steady herself and said, “So, what are you doing here?”
“I wanted to apologize,” he said.
She tried not to smile. Crossing her arms she said, “Didn’t you try that earlier? Badly?”
“Yeah,” he said with a small grin. “I was hoping you’d give me another chance.”
“Okay. Shoot.”
He suddenly looked...defeated? “I don’t know how to do this, any of it.”
“Do what, Garrett?”
“Talk...tell people about me and my fucked-up life. I don’t know how to do that.”
“Is that an apology?”
“Fuck, Paige, give me a break, okay? I’m sorry that I can’t give you what you want from me.”
She sat down in the chair behind her desk. “What is it you think I want from you, Garrett?”
“I don’t know.”
She did chuckle at that. “If you don’t know what I want, then how do you know you can’t give it to me?”
He sat down in the little folding chair across from her desk. She hoped it held up. “Tell me, please. Tell me what you want, because my head is so fucked up right now, and even if it wasn’t, I don’t know how to do this...human thing.”
She smiled. “Stop that, stop putting yourself down all the time. You have so much more going for you than you know, Garrett.” She sighed. “I know that talking about your life is not easy for you. But for some reason—maybe it was the whole...you saving my life thing—I thought I might be the one...” She realized when she said that, and stopped there, that he might take that wrong. “I mean the one that you might be able to open up to. I told you everything about me and my sister and how all of that made me feel. What I got from you in return was a box full of newspaper clippings. I don’t want to read about your life in black and white, Garrett. I want to hear it from you. I want the opportunity to...I don’t know, make you feel better about yourself, I guess.”
He was staring down at the floor as she spoke. When she said that, he looked up at her and she could see fear in his eyes as he asked, “What if you don’t want to...make me feel better about myself? What if I talk to you and tell you everything and you can’t stand to look at me any longer?”
“I doubt that is going to happen,” she said. She could see by the look on his face and his tense posture that he believed it was a real possibility. Leaning in toward him she said, “Hey, nobody is ever going to approve of everything that someone has done in their lifetime. If I told you everything I’ve ever done...well, you might look at me differently as well. But that’s okay, because my history is part of who I am today and so is yours. And the thing is, Garrett...I really like who you are today.”
He made a face and said, “Why?”
Paige laughed and shook her head. “Hell if I know.” Garrett laughed too and when they both sobered again she said, “I want to know you, Garrett. I want to help you get through what you’re going through the way you helped me. Saint told me a story the night I met him. The man he described was a man that I’d be proud to know. Please give me a chance. I don’t want our relationship to just be about good sex and an ugly secret we’re carrying around.”
He was quiet for a few seconds before finally grinning and saying, “Can it be partly about good sex?”
Paige laughed and shook her head. “You’re hopeless...but apparently so am I. Yes, definitely let’s keep the sex part.”
Garrett felt better when he left Paige’s office, but he was still nervous about how she would take everything he had to tell her. She promised to come straight to his apartment when she finished her day, so he was headed back to shave and do something with his hair. He at least wanted to look halfway decent by the next time she saw him. He was just pulling into his parking stall when his phone rang. Hoping it was news about Saint, he didn’t even look at the caller ID. He was surprised to hear Leanne’s voice. She usually texted him when she had something to say. When she said “Garrett” his heart skipped a beat. He could hear the stress in her tone and he was instantly afraid that something happened to his sweet Jessie.
“Yeah, Lee, what’s...?”
“What the fuck were you thinking? Are you insane?” Leanne rarely used the “F” word. She hated that he used it so much and was constantly telling him that one day it would be Jessie’s favorite word too.
“I’m sorry? What are you talking about?”
“Really? The letter? I wasn’t even sure I was going to catch you alive.”
“Oh shit.” Fucking Saint. He sent out the letters...Jesus. What the fuck was he thinking? “You got the letter...”
“Yeah, I got it and I read it while I was waiting to pick your daughter up at preschool. Imagine what state of mind I was in by the time I had to drive her home. Now answer my question, are you insane?”
“Uh...” He got off the bike and thought about what he’d said in the letter. It wasn’t anything too graphic. It was for Jessie to read someday and for the most part he had just said he’d done some things he wasn’t proud of and that he thought she’d be better off with a man like Jake as her father, rather than him. And of course, he told her how much he loved her and how she’d changed his life. “I guess so,” he finally said. “I didn’t mean for her, for you to get that letter. It was...” He hated lying, but if Leanne thought he was suicidal, she’d never let him see Jessie. If he was going to stay alive, that was going to be the number one reason. If he couldn’t see her, he might as well be dead. “I’m in therapy for my PTSD and it was an exercise. It was to make the consequences of suicide more real. I wrote one to everyone I’m close to...but they weren’t supposed to be mailed.”
Leanne was silent on the other end and Garrett’s hand shook as he held onto the phone and waited. He’d heard one of his SEAL buddies talk about the exercise once. He said that people don’t think past their own self-pitying, self-indulgent thoughts and realize just how many lives they would affect by taking their own. Now that he really thought about it, it had made him second-guess his choices.
“Look, Garrett, I’m glad you’re finally getting some help.” Garrett almost laughed. He hadn’t even realized Leanne thought he needed “help.” “But you should have been more careful. Imagine how I felt, reading this letter that you left for my four-year-old daughter, talking about killing yourself because you’re some kind of terrible person. In a matter of minutes, I had to imagine first telling her you were dead and then explaining that she’d never see you again and then having her read this when she’s older and questioning why she wasn’t good enough to keep you alive...” He heard her voice crack. It made his heart hurt.
“I’m sorry, Leanne. My buddy picked up the letters
with something else I asked him to mail. He didn’t know what they were...I should have been more careful with them. But you know how much I love our little girl. She is good enough. She’s too good. I don’t know why I got so lucky as to be her father...but I know that I am, and I’d never do anything to screw that up, okay?” He felt sick. He was still lying. He’d had suicidal thoughts again just that very morning. What if one day they come back while I’ve got his gun in my hand? Or what if he ended up in prison? What the fuck would she think of him then?
“Garrett? Are you still there? Did you hear me?”
“Uh, no, I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I said I know how much you love her. Yes, you should have been more careful, but I’m glad you’re okay. I’m not going to keep her from you.”
“Thank you, Leanne. You know, I’m thankful for you too.”
He could hear the smile in her voice as she said, “I know, I read that in the letter too.” He chuckled, and she said, “I’m shredding it.”
“Okay.”
“Bye, Garrett.”
“Bye, Leanne.” He ended the call with a sigh of relief and then another rush of guilt. As he finally put the key in his apartment door he realized that the relief outweighed the guilt. He was glad he’d been able to think of the lie quickly enough to keep Leanne from saying he couldn’t see Jessie...as long as he was alive. He knew that was just another red flag pointing in the direction of his character, but when it came to his daughter, he didn’t really care.
23
By the time Paige knocked on his door, Garrett had the takeout food set out, the music on and, he thought, his nerve worked up to talk to her. As soon as he opened the door, though, and laid eyes on her, he wasn’t so sure. Damn, she’s hot. “Hey,” he managed through a large lump in his throat.
“Hey.” He pulled the door back and she walked in. That damn skirt swayed and made him wonder what she had on underneath it. “Smells good in here.”
“I’ve been cooking for hours,” he said as he closed the door.
“Really?” Paige pulled off her coat and as soon as he saw the swell of her breast, his mind went back to the gutter and he almost forgot the question. To give himself a second, he took the coat out of her hands and hung it on the hook near the door.
“No, not really,” he told her, and then with a wink he said, “If that were the case it would either smell like barbecue pork or burned toast.”
“Well, whatever it is, smells yummy.” Garrett led her to the kitchen and, trying to keep the small talk going, he asked:
“How was work?”
Paige sat down at the table. “It was okay; busy. Then this crazy guy came by to visit and it was all the girls in the office could talk about for the rest of the day. I got nothing productive out of them all afternoon,”
Garrett set a plate of pasta in front of her and one on his side of the table. “So, what did they say about this guy? Did they think he was hot?”
She laughed. “It was hard to tell.” He put the French bread on the table and said,
“Soda or water?”
“Water, please.” He got two bottles of water out of the fridge and sat down across from her.
“So why was it hard to tell?”
She rolled her eyes and said, “They could barely speak full sentences, and they were drooling.”
“Sounds promising.” Paige had just picked up a piece of the bread. She flung it across the table at him, striking him in the side of the face. “Hey! What the hell was that for?” he asked, laughing.
“Promising,” she said with another eye-roll. “Promising how, pray tell? You looking to hook up, big guy?”
Garrett took a bite of the bread she’d thrown at him and after chewing it up and pretending to ponder her question he said, “If I were, would all of the girls in the office be on the available list?”
She narrowed her eyes at him and said, “Yes, but there’s only one right answer here, so think it over...slowly.”
He laughed again. “I don’t have to think about it,” he said. She smiled, and he said, “I liked that one at the front desk...”
“Oh, that’s it!” Paige jumped up and before Garrett could react, she was straddling his lap with a handful of fettuccine Alfredo aimed at his face.
“Oh, you wouldn’t dare.”
“You obviously haven’t met me,” she said, as she smashed the fettuccine around his mouth.
“You didn’t just do that,” he said in shock. She giggled and said:
“I did. Alfredo looks good on you.”
“Well, now you have to clean it off.”
“Nope, not going to do...” Garrett started to tickle her. She tried to pull away, but he was much stronger. He held her tightly with his arms and used his hands to tickle her ribs and stomach until she was gasping for breath and begging him to stop.
“You going to clean up your mess?” he asked her. She had tears rolling down her cheeks from laughing. When she didn’t answer him right away, he tickled her again.
“Okay! Okay, stop!” she panted. He stopped, and she giggled for a few more seconds while she caught her breath. Then she tried to get up again.
“Where are you going?”
“To get a paper towel or...”
“Oh, no. That’s not how you clean up Alfredo sauce.”
Paige giggled again. “Is this like the whipped cream thing?”
“Exactly,” he said with a grin. He expected her to protest more so he was surprised, pleasantly so, when he felt her tongue swipe across his lips. She moaned, and it was an instant hard-on, especially when she went back in for more. Garrett loosened his grip and let his hands slide up and down her back while she licked his face like a sexy human cat. He was always attracted to Catwoman as a kid—now he knew why. After a few minutes she said,
“I think I got most of it.”
“No,” he told her, breathless himself, and he hadn’t even kissed her yet. “You missed a spot.”
“Where?” Garrett slid his hand up her back and fisted her hair. Using that grip, he brought her head forward until their lips met and as he slid his tongue in between her lips he said:
“Right there.” He kissed her, deeply, and then brought his tongue out and licked her lips and whispered, “There.” His tongue was touching her lips so sensually that it was sending shivers down her spine and goosebumps skittering down her arms and legs. She had her head tipped back, still controlled by the big hand holding her hair, and her eyes closed. Garrett left her lips and let his tongue slide down her chin and then across her neck. He licked all across her neck...she tasted so good. He switched to kisses and when he couldn’t stand it any longer, and had to have a bite of her, he kissed his way across it and then he took a piece of skin in between his lips and sucked on it. Paige was squirming around in his lap, whimpering and gasping, and she let out a sharp cry when he bit down with his teeth and brought his other hand up to cover one of her breasts at the same time.
“Oh yeah,” she whispered. “There.” Garrett massaged her hard nipple through the thin material of her blouse and continued to nibble on her neck. Dinner was forgotten; she was on the menu and no one was complaining.
He let go of her hair and reached down with his other hand and slid it underneath her skirt. He massaged her smooth thigh, all the way to the top. When he reached her panties, he brushed his fingers softly across the wet crotch and made her moan. She wiggled in his lap, pressing down on his hard cock and making him worry it was going to explode in his jeans. He slid his hands underneath her, just to lift her off his cock slightly, but when he gripped her cheeks, she moaned again and he had to massage them. He let one of his fingers slide into the crotch of her panties and her entire body convulsed when it made contact with her swollen pussy lips.
“You like that?”
She had her head pressed into his. She gasped as he dragged his fingers across her engorged clit and nodded her head. “Jesus,” she whispered as he caressed her wet slit an
d then parted her lips open. She opened her legs wider and pushed her hips up so that he could slide a finger up inside of her. He loved watching the expressions on her face, and listening to her moan. He loved knowing he was good at one other thing besides taking a life.
Garrett fingered her with one finger for a while and as she got more excited, he slid in a second. He was painfully aware that he needed to be inside of her, but he was enjoying having her squirm on top of him at the same time. He’d press his fingers in all the way and when he hit bottom, he’d pull them back out again. She moved her hips in and out, getting louder with each thrust. It didn’t take long until he felt her grip onto his fingers like a vise. She threw her head back, cried out his name, and he felt a rush of warm fluid on his fingers and then all over his hand. Her sexy body began to shake all over and her muscles had all gone slack, like putty in his hands.
“I need to fuck you now,” he whispered into the ear she had pressed against him. She nodded, enthusiastically. Garrett got a good hold on her and stood up. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and held on tightly as he carried her over to the kitchen counter. He kissed her again, long and slow and deep, and waited for her to stop shaking before lowering her to her feet. Once she was on the ground, he turned her so that she was facing the counter and then he unzipped her skirt and let it fall to the floor. The panties quickly followed it and then he stripped out of his own jeans and shorts, while she relaxed into the countertop and caught her breath.
Once they were both naked from the waist down, he took his throbbing cock into his hand and guided it to her opening. Paige stepped out, so her legs were open wider, and pushed her butt back into him. Garrett eased himself into her, savoring every delicious inch of her tight, wet tunnel as he did. Paige wiggled back against him, trying to hurry him up, but he wanted to take his time. He was already so excited, and he wanted her so badly that it might not last as long as he wanted it to.