by Jessie Cooke
24
A deep moan came out of her mouth when he finally filled her up. It sounded like it had come from somewhere deep down inside of her core. She lay forward on the counter, resting her head on her arms and continuing to wiggle her hips as he began to move in and out of her. He was only able to take it slow for a few minutes. He craved her too badly and his body took on a life of its own, moving in and out of her in a strong, fast rhythm. He loved the sound of their bodies slapping together and the feel of her round ass cheeks slamming into his pelvis with each deep thrust. She was grunting and moaning and pushing back into him and he was doing the same as he pushed into her. They fucked on a primal level with no other goal than for both of them to reach an orgasm as quickly as they could. Garrett held onto her hip with one hand and reached up and twisted her hair through the fingers of the other. She growled as he tugged on it, so he pulled it harder and fucked her harder until he felt his climax approaching at a speed he couldn’t slow down if he’d wanted to.
“Fuck, baby...God, you feel so good!” he cried out. Paige mumbled something similar back, but her words didn’t matter as much as her tone. He could hear that she was in the throes of another orgasm and that pushed him over the edge. They tumbled over the cliff together and Garrett was so overwhelmed with passion that he slapped her ass, hard, as he came. Paige screamed out,
“Yes!” So he did it again, and again, until her orgasm finally began to subside and once again he felt her body go limp.
“Fuck,” he whispered as he rocked slowly into her. Every time he thought about how good that felt he would shudder and his cock would jerk and he’d want to do it all over again, already.
Paige was the one that finally righted herself first, forcing him out of her. She turned her body toward him and got up on her toes to kiss his face. “I’m going to use your ladies’ room. I’ll be right back.” Garrett almost told her he didn’t have a ladies’ room, but decided quickly that she could call it whatever she wanted to. He watched her go, eyes on her naked ass and his cock still jerking, greedy for more. When she was gone he growled aloud to himself and then braced his arms against the counter for a few seconds to get his own strength back. By the time she came back, he’d used a washcloth and the warm water from the sink to clean himself up and put his shorts back on.
Paige came over to him, still beautifully naked from the waist down, and they kissed again. When they came up for air he said:
“You want to finish dinner now?”
“I’m not hungry...for food...are you?”
He shook his head slowly and grinned. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready to serve up the next course.”
Paige giggled and took him by the hand. She led him down the hallway to his own bedroom and then pushed against his sides when they got to the bed. He thought it was funny how she tried to move him sometimes, like he didn’t weigh three hundred pounds. “You want me to lie down?”
“Mm-hmm, on your back. Take those shorts off first.” Garrett smiled. He was used to being the one in control in the bedroom, but he was enjoying this immensely. He slipped off his shorts again and lay back on the bed. “Shirt too,” she said. He sat back up and took off his shirt. By the time he got it over his head, she’d removed hers too. He reached for her breasts, but she moved back and pushed against his chest again. “Lie down.”
“Okay, Miss Bossy.” He chuckled and lay back. His cock wasn’t hard again, but it wasn’t soft either. As soon as she touched it he could feel the blood rushing from every part of his body to accumulate there once again. She let her hand slide from top to bottom and then he felt her tongue on the base and she licked him all the way up to the tip. “Fuck...” He sighed as she licked him again and this time when she reached the tip she opened her lips and engulfed the head. “Oh Jesus.” He breathed out as she ran her tongue around the head. He lay there and groaned, moaned, and got harder by the second as she licked, sucked, and even used the sides of her teeth to scrape along the underside of his shaft. His head was in a whole other dimension and his body was in a state of pleasure unlike any he remembered being in before.
Paige ran her sexy lips down the length of his cock, slowly. Then she ran them back up and licked his shaft again before closing her lips hard over the head and sliding down so far that his cock was wedged into the back of her throat. He felt her swallow and his body jerked so hard that he almost flew off the bed, taking her with him. She slid back up again and when his head was pressed into her lips, she smiled up at him. That’s when he knew he couldn’t take anymore. He grabbed her and pulled her up his body until her breasts were crushed into his chest and his lips were crushed against hers. They kissed and licked and sucked at each other’s mouths and lips until neither of them could breathe and then Garrett flipped her so she was on her back and he said, “My turn.”
He got down on his knees and pushed her legs open. He inhaled her sexy scent before pressing his face in between her legs and up against that dripping wet pussy. He used his mouth to pull her lips apart and he licked her from top to bottom. He found her clit and used his tongue to flick it back and forth. Paige was wiggling all over the bed and he had to use one of his hands to hold her down. She was crying out his name as he sucked on her clit and cursing loudly as he stuck his tongue up inside of her and wiggled it around. She moaned loudly when he licked down further and let his tongue slide in between her cheeks and quickly rim her ass. “Oh, Garrett! Oh, fuck! Baby...Oh my God!” She was panting, and he could tell she was about to come again. He knew he was being greedy, but he wanted her come on his cock...again.
He stood up and moved her to the middle of the bed. Then he mounted her, keeping his weight up off of her with his arms. He picked up one of her legs and rested it against his shoulder and then he entered her...she was so fucking wet. He sank into her, and once again any semblance of taking his time had gone by the wayside. He fucked her, there was no other word for it. He took what he wanted, and she gave back as good as she got, and once again they both came like an explosion.
This time when he finished, he lay down next to her and pulled her into him, cradling her in his arms. He held her tightly as they both caught their breath, reveling in the way he felt...so good, for a change. He had just closed his eyes and sleep was calling to him, sleep with Paige wrapped in his arms, when she spoke. In her defense, she probably didn’t mean to break the spell...but it was broken nonetheless. “Garrett, talk to me about your life.”
He hadn’t meant to, but he groaned, out loud. Turning on his back and letting go of her sexy body, he put his arm up across his forehead and said, “Can’t we just feel what we’re feeling for a while and not talk about that depressing shit?”
She propped herself up on her elbow. “I thought we decided this wasn’t going to be all about sex...and that other thing. I thought we were going to get to know each other.”
He sighed. “We are, but not right now. I feel so good here with you, Paige...I just don’t want to go there right now, okay?” He shouldn’t have been, but he was surprised when she pushed herself up off the bed and reached for her blouse. As she pulled it on he said, “You’re leaving?”
“Yeah, I am. When you’re ready for me to be more than a hookup, call me. Until then, it’s been fun.”
“Jesus, Paige, are you fucking kidding me? It’s late, I’m tired...”
“Last night you were drunk and high, the last time we were together you had just killed a guy...always an excuse.”
“Wow.”
“Wow what?”
“Wow, I guess this is why I’ve never been in a relationship. This is a lot of pressure, less than a week into it.” He knew that the more he talked, the further he was pushing her away...but he couldn’t stop himself.
“Well then, you should be happy I’m leaving. No pressure. You got what you wanted. You win.”
“Paige, fuck. This is not all I want...but the rest of it, it’s so fucking complicated.”
“Whatever, Garrett
. Wallow in it alone. I don’t give a fuck.” She walked out then, and he let her go. He cringed a few minutes later when he heard the front door slam, but he still didn’t go after her.
He just wasn’t good at this, why couldn’t she see that? He just didn’t want to tell her about his life. She knew about Jessie, she knew what he did for a living. He didn’t understand why she thought she needed to know the rest. He didn’t want to introduce her to the monster that dwelled inside of him. He’d rather she was pissed off and walked away now with the images of those newspaper clippings in her head. He’d shown her what he did for the Navy...for his country. What she didn’t know was what he had done before...and since. What she didn’t know was that he’d spent over a decade catering to a demon that lived inside of him...and he didn’t know how to stop.
25
Garrett’s mood had never matched his nickname as much as it did on Sunday. It had been three days since Paige walked out on him. At first he hadn’t cared; he just assumed she would cool off and come back. By the following evening when he hadn’t heard from her, he started calling. She didn’t answer his calls and she didn’t return his text messages. He drove to her house, but she wouldn’t answer the door. He thought about breaking it down, but he wasn’t quite at that level of crazy...yet. Instead he went for a ride on the Harley and when that didn’t calm him down, he went to a bar. He sat belly up, drinking beer and shots of whiskey and watching the TV hung on the wall above the bottles of liquor. He wasn’t sure if he was depressed, or angry, but when the news accounts turned to Benjamin Ewell’s murder and they began interviewing people who claimed he was a “stellar person,” there was no longer any question about what he was feeling. He was pissed.
He was pissed that his best friend was sitting in jail, facing a murder charge for a murder Garrett had committed. He was pissed at Paige for walking out and pissed at himself for letting her. He was pissed at Vivian for looking at him after Beau died like it was killing her that he was the one alive. He was pissed at his mother for dying and his father for not being the least bit nurturing. He was pissed that he never learned how to have a relationship of any kind...and now when he needed someone, he had no fucking clue how to connect. Most of all he was pissed that he was still alive, and he decided that no matter how much of a guilt trip Leanne had laid on him, Jessie deserved so much better than him. As soon as he took care of this shit with Saint, he was checking out, for good.
He drank himself into a stupor that night, and the bartender had to pour him into a cab. He had to have one of the prospects go get his bike on Saturday because he had a fucking migraine so bad that he couldn’t get out of bed...and when Sunday finally rolled around, the only way he could force himself to get out of bed, shower, and dress was the promise that he’d made. He was going to talk to Saint and clear this mess up, and then all of this would be over. He wouldn’t have to feel anything any longer.
He sat now in the waiting room of the jail while they brought Saint out into the visiting room. He’d been there for twenty minutes already, and he was almost at his boiling point and at risk of getting arrested himself when the correctional officer finally said:
“Visitor for Barrett!” Garrett hadn’t heard Saint’s given name in years before he read it on that file Darwin had at the clubhouse. It sounded strange and false to his ears and took him a few seconds to register that it was Saint.
“That’s me,” Garrett said, standing up. The bailiff looked him over, cocking an eyebrow slightly as he did. He rested his hand over the can of OC spray tucked in his belt and said:
“Follow me.” Garrett waited for him to turn his back before rolling his eyes. The little man was afraid that he was going to make trouble. Little did he know that wasn’t Garrett’s style. As big as he was, if he wanted you dead, you’d never see him coming.
The officer led him into a big room where there were banks of telephones all facing a glass barrier. On the other side of the glass were more phones, and the partitions were divided by about three inches of Formica on either side. He saw Saint sitting inside the third partition on the other side of the glass. He was dressed in an orange jumpsuit. His normally styled hair was hanging limp around his face and he had stubble...something Garrett had never seen before. His eyes were bloodshot and one of them blackened all around the underside and across the lid. Despite all of that, and his situation, he grinned when he saw Garrett. Garrett didn’t smile back.
He walked over and sat down across from him. The C.O. said, “Fifteen minutes,” before he walked away. Saint was already holding the phone in his hand. Garrett picked his up and Saint said, “Hey, Bear, how goes it?”
“How goes it? Fuck, Saint...you tell me. What the hell are you doing in here?”
“Well, first I got stopped for driving erratically...”
“Don’t bullshit me. You can bullshit everyone else, but not me. You absorb alcohol like a fucking lizard absorbs the sun. You never get drunk to the point of driving erratically, and Paige said you only had a splash of vodka in your tea. So, try again.”
He was still grinning. “You didn’t let me finish. I was driving erratically, on purpose. I wanted to get caught.”
“Why? Make me understand what you’re doing in here.”
“Protecting my brother,” he said.
“Fuck that. I didn’t need your protection, Saint. I didn’t ask for it.”
“Fuck yeah, you did. You were begging for someone’s help...you just never said it out loud so none of us knew. You never let us know, did you, Bear? You’ve been hurting inside for so long and you never talked to anyone about it.”
“I didn’t need to talk about it...”
Saint smiled again. “I read that letter you left me, Bear, and I knew right away what I had to do.”
“By that you mean taking responsibility for something you didn’t do?”
“By that I mean having my brother’s back. I wanted to show you that all this time you haven’t been alone. You have people who love you, people who would do anything for you, people who would never want to see you die.”
“I know that, okay? Now tell them you didn’t do this and let’s work on getting you out of here.”
Saint shook his head. “You don’t know, Garrett. You think you’re all alone. You think you’ve been alone your entire life. You think there’s some kind of monster living in you and that we’d all be better off if you were both dead.”
“I thought that, okay? For a second, I thought that. I’m over it.”
Saint chuckled. “Bullshit. You never stop thinking. Those wheels in your head never stop turning...planning. Paige stopped you somehow from going through with it this time, but you’ll start planning it again. You’ll convince yourself that she’d be better off without you too, if you haven’t already done that.” Garrett shivered. It was exactly what he told himself when Paige walked out. Saint wasn’t a fucking mind reader, though, he was just guessing. None of that mattered anyways. All that mattered was getting him out of here.
“Fine, you want me to admit that I feel alone, okay...I do. Satisfied? Now stop being an idiot.”
Laughing again Saint said, “You’re my best friend, Garrett. I’m sure you’d do the same for me if the tables were turned.” Garrett was sure that he wouldn’t. The idea of being in jail made him feel like he couldn’t breathe. He did time as a youngster for drugs and alcohol, and once for shoplifting. He was never inside for more than a day or two, but that was bad enough. Saint had lost his mind.
“The point here is that you didn’t need to do this. I mean, I just don’t know what the fuck you were thinking. They would have never found anything that pointed to me...”
“Shh...they’re listening.”
“I don’t give a fuck! I’m going to turn myself in when I leave here if you don’t tell me you’re recanting this bullshit today.”
“I’m not recanting. I made my confession. Darwin wants me to plead not guilty, but I’m not doing that either.”
&nb
sp; He was so calm, and talking as if this was some kind of rational decision. Garrett wanted to throttle him. He felt his blood boiling, so he changed the subject for a second one, hoping to cool down on the other. “You sent out the letters. Leanne got Jessie’s and she was pissed.”
“Don’t blame her. I’d be pissed too if the father of my kid was planning on offing himself for no good reason.”
“You don’t know what my reasons are, and you had no fucking business going through my saddlebags and sending out those letters. So far Leanne is the only one I’ve had to deal with but I’m waiting for the other calls.”
“Like from your Pops? That old man sitting in a nursing home that you never go and visit?”
“Don’t...”
“You don’t go see him because you’re ashamed of what you do. He was a war hero and the only man you ever looked up to...and you’re afraid that he’s going to be ashamed of you, of what you’ve done with your life. So you just don’t go see him.”
“You have a psych degree all of a sudden?”
“Nope, but I read his letter before I mailed it.”
“Jesus Christ. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
He ignored the question and said, “Did you ever tell him to his face how grateful you were for him taking you in at fifteen? Or how much you appreciated him letting you decide between the service and college? Or how proud you felt every time you looked at all of his medals from his service? Did you ever look him in the eyes and tell him all of that, or did you think a deathbed confession was good enough?” Garrett didn’t answer him, and he said, “I didn’t think so. Let’s talk about the letter you sent to a guy named Ivan...”
“No, let’s not.” Garrett gritted his teeth. He was shocked and appalled that Saint had read his letters. He’d been in some form of disbelief over his mailing them out, but he wouldn’t have suspected in a million years that he would read them first. Saint wasn’t fazed at all by Garrett’s bad mood or his protestations. He kept talking: