Fall From the Moon (A Bánalfar Novel Book 1)

by CS Hale

  Knowledge began to curl in my heart, driving out the fear. Rákal’s king’s gift to Valemar had been Muirbrook — a war animal. The king of Capalnoc had already begun to arm his nephew.

  My spine lengthened. Daria smiled at me and nodded once, an action I repeated. I blew out my breath.

  Time to go do this.

  Aren Loör, cousin to Reina, was a striking man. Long golden-blond hair, just a shade lighter than Reina’s, framed a face that could only be described as rakish. Modeling agencies on half the worlds in the galaxy would have fought over him if given a chance. Added to that, the toned, muscular body visible even with the green tunic and slacks he wore, and I was glad I had not dressed the same way I had for the Sapir. Married or not, I was half-tempted to throw myself at him, even with my mother-in-law watching. Especially with the appreciative once over he gave me.

  “Cousin.” Reina’s voice interrupted Aren’s inspection of me. “I’d like you to meet my daughter-in-law, Astrid. Astrid, this is Kyvet Aren Loör, the ambassador from Capalnoc.”

  “Kyvet,” I said, inclining my head.

  “Kira Astrid.” Parts of me quivered in response to Aren’s husky voice. A voice that soothed yet demanded attention. I could well imagine him draped across his darana, whispering commands in its ear.

  Reina gestured to the table. “Shall we?”

  “I hear this is a working dinner,” Aren said once we were seated.

  I shook out my napkin and placed it in my lap. “It is.”

  Aren’s gaze slid over to Reina. “Since you’ve already met with Tanic Ilahni to secure his steel, I would guess you’d like me to secure Capalnoc’s darana.”

  “Very astute,” I said. Of course gossip about my action would have spread. “On the other hand, as queen it is my duty to meet with all of Bánalfar’s neighbors.”

  “And how did you find Raislos?” Aren asked with a roguish grin.

  “Aren!” Reina reddened visibly.

  “Dangerously confident,” I said, smiling my challenge. “Dangerously armed.”

  The playfulness melted from Aren’s face, and he looked at Reina. “What does she mean?”

  “I mean,” I said, answering for myself, “that their new friends are supplying them with armor that no blade can pierce. There are no weak points within it. No plates to sneak a knife between. No special arrow bolts you could even begin to imagine that could pierce the material.”

  Aren paled so much that he turned nearly white. “That can’t possibly be true,” he whispered.

  “It’s true.” Reina darted a glance at me before returning it to her cousin. “We’ve had … skirmishes the last couple of months.” I gave Reina a startled look. This was the first I’d heard of it.

  Reina felt my gaze but kept hers on Aren. “Arrows bounce right off. Agillian arrows.” She emphasized the word but it was meaningless to me. Something else I’d need to study up on. “We’ve had some luck with flaming arrows — saigbreaos.” Aren nodded. “But the fuel needs to spread to the head to be effective. Otherwise, the Cordair do not appear to feel the heat.”

  “I bet their darana can’t say the same thing.”

  Aren was right. A flaming rider was probably the last thing any creature wanted on its back. Other than maybe a maskpol — all teeth and claws.

  He slowly shook his head. “Not good. How is this possible? Who are these strangers that they have such armor?”

  Reina and I shared a glance. I hooked an eyebrow in question, but Reina gave her head a tight shake. “I would rather tell that to Rákal myself,” I said. “I mean no offense, Kyvet, but this is not information to be shared with a subordinate first.”

  “By the sea and the moon, Reina!” Aren exclaimed, nearly jumping out of his seat. “What is going on in Bánalfar?”

  Reina gave me a sad look before answering her cousin. “The fulfillment of a prophecy.”

  It was, after that revelation, a sober dinner. None of the charm and flirting that had gone on with the Sapir occurred. Aren’s astonishing good looks did keep me from drifting too much into melancholy. How could one be morose when confronted with such beauty?

  I worried, though, the next day. Would the darana be enough? Would the R’Keshan swords be enough? Would any of it be enough if the Hormani fully armed the Cordair? What if they just attacked us with lasers instead? What if, instead of saving these people, I was leading them to slaughter?

  Daria brought a tray of lian tarts and iced tea to cheer me up, but I was in no mood to enjoy it. “Eat them yourself,” I said with a wave of my hand. “I’m not sure I could keep them down.”

  I could hear Daria gently sigh as I looked back out the window and watched the rhythmic surge of the waves, hoping they’d help calm my turbulent thoughts. So far, it wasn’t working.

  A strangled noise from Daria made me turn. Her eyes bulged. A tart dropped from one hand as the other flew to her throat. I stood in shock, unable to believe what I was seeing. It was only when her knees buckled that I raced across the room.

  “What is it?” I asked, holding her up. Daria gasped for air. “Are you choking?” I could grab her from behind and force the piece out.

  She shook her head. Her weight became too much for me, and I eased us to the floor. Her mouth began to move, trying to form words as her wide eyes filled with fear. Foam appeared on her lips, and I knew that she wasn’t choking

  I screamed, calling out for the guards, and cradled her to me, rocking us back and forth. Daria’s hand searched for mine, and I grasped it tightly. “You’re going to be fine,” I said to her. “The guards are coming and you’ll be fine.” I expected her to nod, but Daria’s eyes filled with tears. It was a look I’d seen too many times before — the beginning of a goodbye.

  “No!” I shouted. “You are not going to give up. Help is coming. Don’t you dare leave me. Do you hear me? You are not going to leave me.”

  Daria’s lips began a frantic struggle. Her lungs shuddered as she fought for air. Then her free hand fumbled and pulled me close.

  “Bet … ter … meee”

  The words were nothing but breath. My ear barely caught them. I opened my mouth to argue and watched as she slipped from this life, leaving me staring into yet another pair of beautiful but empty blue eyes.

  BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

  The world around me spun. I held on. There’s a crash coming. Get ready for the crash.

  Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

  “Harry, there’s something wrong with the —” But my mind was focused on the sales figures in the file, so I didn’t catch what exactly it was. “Take us out of hyperspace in the nearest star system.” That sounded bad though, and I clutched my tablet to my chest.

  Kaboom! Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

  The ship rocked. The lights went out. People screamed. I clutched my tablet. Whatever had been bad had gone intensely worse. My teeth began to chatter. Space travel was dangerous. If the Earth were a grain of sand and Pluto was the next sun, we’d need to move Pluto light years away to represent the distance between us and the nearest star.

  “Plasma leak, stay where you are,” Bari broadcast moments later. Things were bad. Definitely bad.

  Beep, beep … Beep, beep … Beep, beep.

  “Hello?” My mother answered the phone. “Yes, this is she.” The color drained from her face. Mum put her hand over the speaker. “Go to bed, Astrid. I’ll be up in a few minutes.”

  I slid off the chair and went to my room. I crawled into bed and pulled Emerson onto my lap. I knew from the look on my mother’s face that it was about Grandma Sarah. I knew that she was gone.

  It’s not Grandma Sarah, a voice in the back of my head said.

  “No,” I whispered, fighting against the scream that filled my throat. And then my ears were filled with it, a keening cry like the death wail of a banshee.

  Crash!

  I flinched and held Emerson closer.

  It’s no
t Emerson, the voice in my head whispered.

  Someone tried to pull Emerson out of my arms.

  “No,” I said, holding on tighter. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t do any of it without Emerson.

  Without Daria.

  “No,” I whispered. My arms began to shake and my teeth to chatter. “Don’t leave me. You can’t leave me. I can’t do this without you.” They were all gone. Grandma Sarah and Mum and Finn and Zhou and Doc. And Daria.

  Better me.

  “Don’t leave me. You can’t leave me. I can’t do this without you.” I held her tighter. “It can’t be you. It’s not better that it’s you.” Tears poured down my face. I fought for breath. “It should have been me.”

  It was supposed to have been you, Death whispered in my ear. You’ve cheated me again.

  He was right. I had cheated. I’d hidden in my cabin when everyone else was trying to save us. I’d cheated when I sent out that transmission — broken my word, broken the law. I was nothing but a coward and a cheat.

  That’s why Valemar left you. Death was right. I’d told Valemar the truth, and he’d recognized what I was and sent me away.

  Where I’d caused more death.

  Death pulled at me again. “Astrid, you need to let go.” His voice was louder this time. And different. It sounded more like a woman’s voice.

  Death tugged on my arms again, stronger than before. “You can’t do anything for her.” He was right. I couldn’t save her. I had killed her. “You need to let go.” You need to come to me.

  I loosened my grip and gave myself over to the darkness that waited for me. Anything, other than feel Daria leave me again.

  DEATH WAS RANTING and raving when I floated back to consciousness. His anger called me back, required my presence. “In my own house!”

  Not Death. Reina.

  A knife cut into my chest, scooping out my heart with fire. I longed to return to the peaceful embrace of Death and the oblivion he offered. Anything to make that agony in my heart stop.

  “How could this happen in my house!”

  A tear slid down my cheek. “Take me, too,” I whispered to Death. I reached for darkness and pulled it around me like a blanket. Reina’s angry words faded away.

  Strong arms lifted me up. My head thumped against a man’s chest. “How long has she been like this?” a voice asked. It was strangely familiar.

  “Almost seven days. Ever since …”

  “By the sea and moon!”

  My head rose, searching for the source.

  “Dia du, mo banorisa.” Hello, my princess.

  Heymond.

  Safety.

  Death couldn’t reach me in Heymond’s arms. But he paraded his other conquests by. A wail rose up from my throat as they marched before me. Heymond’s arm came up, and he cradled my head against him. “Hush now. You’re safe. I’ve come to take you home.”

  I was in no condition to ride. After so many days with no food but the broth they’d poured down my semi-conscious throat, it was all I could do to raise my head. They placed me in a wagon lined with cushions to ease the jolts, hoping the air and scenery would revive me.

  Something inside me had broken. Some essential part of me had vanished with the light in Daria’s eyes. I tried not to think about it. Every time I did, a whooshing pull grabbed me just behind my navel and my breath caught in my throat as if it were the last I’d take.

  Only Heymond helped. I don’t know why. Maybe a link had formed between us when he’d pulled me away from the Cordair. Maybe part of me thought that since he’d rescued me once, he’d rescue me again.

  But then I’d remember why I had needed rescuing. Both times. And down I’d go again.

  Slowly, the ache became bearable. I knew without asking that we rode south, for Aedenfal. By the fourth day, I was strong enough to get on the back of a darana. Of course, that was when I discovered that Shale rode with us. I actually turned the reins, pointed my mount’s head away — not back to Vanerife, not south toward Aedenfal, just away from her and toward anything else. Heymond reached out and grabbed my darana’s bridle.

  “She says it’s important that she’s with us.”

  Right. Just like it had been important to perform that trick with the blood.

  Because the time is coming —

  I squeezed my eyes shut. “She rides at the back.”

  With a squeak of leather and the shuffle of hooves, Shale obeyed my command and joined the riders at the rear. I opened my eyes. Heymond nodded his head toward the empty road before us, and I turned my mount to follow.

  More than thirty riders ensured our safety, the most I’d ever traveled with. Of course, an attempt had just been made on the life of Bánalfar’s queen. Part of me wondered why they bothered protecting me. With me gone, Valemar would be free to marry someone who could give him children. Was my role as Moon Princess really so much more important than the succession?

  We skirted Lendurig and its masses and camped along the Leisna where it became its own river and hadn’t yet been swallowed up by the Dunna. It then that the time frame filtered into my mind.

  “Where were you?” I asked Heymond, frowning as I warmed my hands with a mug of glow wine. Everything felt cold after the warmth of Vanerife. “You’re no karawack. How did you get to Vanerife so quickly?”

  “I’d been in Lendurig,” Heymond said. “Valemar —” Heymond winced when I cringed. “— wanted me to personally interview some farmers. There’d been reports of Cordair this far north and west.”

  For the first time, I wondered who had tried to kill me. But then Daria’s face swam before me, and I pushed my questions away. “They’re getting bolder,” I said. A statement, not a question.

  Heymond sighed. “Yes. There are problems almost daily. For about the last month.” Ever since I started meeting with ambassadors. “It will soon be open warfare.”

  “Is there more armor?” I asked.

  “I don’t know,” Heymond answered. “Valemar sent scouts out to try and get a count. That’s part of the reason he stayed behind.”

  “Smart move,” I said. “Kill off his wife. Draw him out of Aedenfal.” I laughed. An achy laugh, full of irony, that tore at the ragged remains of my heart. “Too bad it didn’t work out for them.”

  Two days later we rode into familiar territory. I pulled my darana to a standstill when the walls of Aedenfal appeared through the trees.

  “I can’t.” I couldn’t ride in. Couldn’t risk seeing their animosity and knowing they whispered about my disgrace.

  Heymond took one look at my face and knew what I meant. He sent a rider ahead to let the High know of our change of plans. Shale left with him, traveling directly to the Cair. We hadn’t spoken the whole trip.

  Her eyes met mine before she turned up the road. There was kindness in them, which only made me feel guilty. But I couldn’t forgive her for not warning me. Not yet.

  And so, I entered Aedenfal the way I first had — by boat. Only this time, much to my surprise, Valemar waited on the watergate’s steps to greet me.

  “Thank the Mother and the Father,” he said, and pulled me out of the boat and into his arms.

  I’d thought I’d been fine. I’d thought I’d put the worst of the horror behind me. But there, in Valemar’s arms, I trembled.

  Valemar tightened his grip, ever so slightly, then extended a hand to Heymond who was just climbing out. “Thank you, my friend.” A look passed between them that told me Valemar knew the state I’d been in before Heymond arrived.

  “King’s Guard. Queen’s Guard. Seems to be my job to bring her to you.” Heymond clapped Valemar on the arm before he climbed the steps and disappeared through the door.

  “Can you walk?” Valemar murmured in my ear. I nodded. Valemar’s hand closed around mine.

  He led me through the warren of passageways, matching his gait with mine, but when I realized that Valemar meant to take me back to my old rooms, I planted my feet and refused to go any farther.

 
; “I can’t,” I said for the second time that day. Not when Daria wouldn’t be there. Not when Daria would be the only thing I’d see everywhere I looked.

  Valemar met my tear-filled eyes and nodded. He changed direction and led me to a room that was clearly his. The place he must have retreated to when I’d kept him from my bed.

  And I wondered, for the first time in ages, if Zhanet had been warming his bed while I was in Vanerife.

  I faltered and Valemar, thinking that my legs had given way, scooped me up and sat in a chair, cradling me in his lap. “I so nearly lost you,” he whispered, and I didn’t know what to say. He was the one who’d sent me away.

  An insidious little voice in my head started to whisper that if he hadn’t, Daria would still be alive. But it was my fault. I’d made myself a target — meeting with ambassadors, helping Reina arm Bánalfar. If I had stayed quietly in the background, Daria would still be alive.

  I leaned my head into his chest. It would have been easier if Valemar was still angry with me. I’d have had a reason to crawl away and hide, a reason to build walls. Sitting there on his lap, with his heart beating against my ear, his fingers trailing gently up and down my arm, the glue began to lift from the shattered bits that had been my soul. Once that glue was gone, I’d break completely. Again. And I didn’t know how I’d survive it this time.

  Heymond had been my protector, and the little fragments of normalcy he’d given me had patched me up well enough to travel. But Valemar and I had unfinished business, and I could feel it bubbling up between the cracks. Especially with his own grief and horror washing over me. And so, my tongue tied, not wanting to start any of it.

  “Do you want to rest?” Valemar asked. I nodded and slipped from his lap before he could carry me to the bed. Ghost images of him and Zhanet rose up as I approached it, but I blinked them away. I was tired. My soul was too tired to care.

  I slipped between the sheets. The pillow smelled of him. A scent that was comforting and painful at the same time. Valemar’s hand ruffled my hair, then he bent and kissed my cheek. Before I knew it, I’d slipped away into sleep.