Rampage!

by Wills, Julia; Hartas, Leo ;

Aries snorted impatiently and Alex reached down to rub the ram’s head. It felt hot with anger and Alex sighed, knowing how hard it would be for the ram to return to Earth with Jason in charge. Of course, Alex had no more time for Greek heroes than Aries did. He hated all that swagger and bluster too, and the way that everyone went weak at the knees for a flash of armour or an arm bulging with biceps. But since the summer and what had happened in London, he’d been surprised to find himself feeling a little bit different and, frankly, rather curious about how the famous quests had actually been done. And despite his best friend’s frustration, he still couldn’t quash his own growing excitement at returning to Earth. Of course he was fiercely determined to protect Rose from whatever Medea was planning, but he was quietly thrilled too, delighted to be on another adventure, and he thought that maybe this time, in going back to Earth with Jason, he’d have a chance to learn how the heroes always managed to win – a sort of boot camp to find out how they planned and thought, fought and stayed brave even when things were terrifying.

  Not that he’d be mentioning that to Aries any time soon.

  Obviously.

  Alex watched the goddess of wisdom as she turned away from the little group, slipped off her sandals and scooped up her skirts, to walk into the cave. Her owl swooped in behind her, as bright as a snowball in the gloom, and nestled on her shoulder, twittering, as she waded towards them through the water. A flurry of maids splashed after her and quickly stacked an assortment of strange things on a nearby ledge, jutting out from the glistening wall. She waited for them to finish, curtsey and hurry away again, and then, stepping up on to a low flat-topped rock, she set the statue of Nemesis down on top of everything else.

  ‘Jason!’ she barked and slapped her shield with a resounding clang.

  Glancing over, Jason flung down the driftwood and, offering an arm each to Euterpe, the muse of music, and Aphrodite, goddess of love, escorted them inside, stumbling and giggling, to look at the strange display.

  Of course, it’s traditional for Greek heroes to take a magical gift or two on their quests – a pair of winged sandals perhaps, or a cape of invisibility – but usually they don’t take quite so many. But then, you see, unlike Alex and Aries, who’d left the Underworld with only the All-Knowing Scroll and the gift of tongues,18 it seemed that every other goddess wanted to give Jason something to help him on his special quest, too. And since we don’t have time for a proper rummage now, let me quickly tell you that already heaped up were:

  1) One of Zeus’s lightning bolts.

  Made by Hephaestus, the blacksmith god, this zigzag of magical iron could be thrown like a javelin to conjure up an electrical storm.

  2) Hestia’s Tinder Box.

  A gift from the goddess of the hearth, this tinder could start a fire in the dankest, drippiest anywhere.

  3) The Winged Cocktail Stirrer of Dionysus. A funny little silver contraption, shaped rather like a beetle. However, having never been invited to one of the God of Wine’s snooty gods and heroes soirees, I have no idea what’s so special about it.

  4) Persephone’s Purse of Infinite Wealth.

  This drawstring pouch tipped out coins in the right currency for wherever the queen arrived on Earth.

  5) Three pieces of fine embroidery sewn by Penelope, showing delightful scenes from old Greece to remind Jason of home.

  6) A charming pocket-sized portrait of Zeus.

  7) Three ornate fans made from Pegasus’s long white feathers for keeping cool.

  8) Artemis’s Arrows that Never Missed.

  Bundled into a leather quiver, these arrows from the goddess of hunting were trimmed with pink feathers, which I agree was a bit on the girly side. However, this wasn’t the first thing you noticed when one whistled over your head and pinned your hat to the tree.

  Staring at the odd assortment, Alex felt twitchier than ever, restless to leave. Time, you see, passes a lot more quickly up on Earth and he knew that whilst only a few hours had passed since he and Aries had left the zoo, above them days were flashing past, days where Rose was drawing closer and closer to Medea.

  Meaning they should be going.

  Right now.

  Around him, the goddesses’ giggles continued to echo around the rocky walls and he felt a spark of annoyance as he saw Euterpe stepping forward and realised they hadn’t even finished yet.

  ‘The Lyre of Orpheus,’ said the muse of music, pulling a small golden instrument from her satchel. She strummed its strings lightly, filling the cave with its thin bird-like notes. ‘Made from magical adamantine, it will withstand the roughest voyage, soothe raging beasts and bring sweet harmony to any group.’

  Sweet harmony, thought Alex. He glanced at Aries, who was glowering at Jason, who was scowling back, and felt his heart sink. Even for a godly gift, it was a big ask from a small harp.

  ‘Me next!’ squealed Aphrodite.

  Sweeping all the other gifts out of the way, the goddess laid a roll of sapphire velvet on the rock.

  ‘My pot pourri of love and desire,’ she said, fluttering her eyelashes.

  Aries groaned loudly as the goddess unfurled the bundle to reveal a cluster of delicate pink petals, each crystallized and twinkling with sugar.

  ‘Passionflowers,’ she explained, ‘coated with my special love elixir. Slip one into Medea’s food and she’ll melt the moment she sees you. I mean, she will anyway, but …’ She paused, making a small moue with her rosebud mouth.

  ‘But what?’ prompted Jason in a gooey voice.

  ‘Oh, Jason,’ she sighed. ‘You will come home quickly, won’t you? I mean, you haven’t forgotten it’s my birthday at the end of the week?’

  ‘How could I?’ said Jason. He held a petal playfully to his lips and gazed into her eyes. ‘Shall I test them?’

  ‘No!’ squeaked Aphrodite, plucking it from his fingers. ‘Just one nibble and you’ll be hopelessly in love with the very next person you see.’

  ‘Impossible,’ cooed Jason, ‘when I’m forever in love with you.’

  ‘You are?’ said Aphrodite, delighted.

  ‘Of course he’s not!’ barked Hera, barging forward and pitching Aphrodite sideways into the surf with a wallop of her hips. ‘Never mind all that lovey-dovey stuff,’ she went on, turning to the scabbard hanging from a belt on her dress and slowly drawing out a wide double-edged sword. ‘This belonged to Achilles!’

  ‘Achilles?’ said Jason.

  His eyes lit up as he took the leaf-shaped sword from her and expertly twisted it in the air, its blade glinting like a swarm of fireflies in the flickering torchlight. The goddesses stared adoringly. And even Alex, who was desperately willing them to hurry up and stop sighing like harpies with tail sag, felt a sharp twinge of admiration, imagining what it must be like to be that confident, that sure of yourself. More than that, his mind added, for everyone else to be so sure of you too.

  ‘Ladies!’ Jason smiled broadly and laid the sword down with the other gifts. ‘You’ve all been so generous, but,’ he turned down his lip in regret, ‘much as I’d love to stay here with you, I think it’s time we loaded up the beast of burden!’

  ‘Beast of bur––!’ spluttered Aries, whose voice was immediately lost under a ringing slap as Artemis walloped him on the rear.

  Ignoring his furious cry, she dragged a tangle of ancient leather straps and buckles from her bag. ‘I thought this might be useful,’ she smiled, holding out the crackled old harness from her chariot of nightfall.

  Back in old Greece it had been her evening duty to draw the moon over the sky in her chariot, pulled by two magnificent stags. Now, even from where he stood, Alex could see how grubby the harness was, stained with sweat and deer doo doo. But before even Aries could complain – which gives you some idea of just how fast she was – her hands had buckled the heavy bellyband under Aries’ stomach, secured its back strap along his spine and tightened the breeching around his rear.

  Aries grimaced, jutting out his lower jaw as the others hurried to t
uck the gifts into the leather strapping on either side. Fingers fluttered all over him; cold metal and tickly feathers twitched his skin; giggles rang loudly in his head.

  ‘I’ll take that,’ smiled Jason, plucking the purse of infinite wealth from the last saddlebag and tucking it into his back pocket. Grinning, he gazed round at the goddesses. ‘After all, I’ll need something to buy you all souvenirs of my trip!’

  As the others laughed and clapped, Alex looked over the gifts and, feeling a fresh stab of worry, turned to Athena.

  ‘We’ll need something to protect us against the sorceress,’ he said.

  ‘Protect us?’ laughed Jason. ‘But that’s my job!’

  Feeling his face grow red with embarrassment, Alex looked back at the loaded harness. Perhaps lyres and thunderbolts, horse-feather fans and love potions had their uses on a quest (although being a thirteen-year-old boy he had seriously big doubts about the last one), but didn’t the goddesses understand?

  They were going back to Earth to face Medea.

  ‘Alex does have a point,’ said Athena finally.

  Alex glanced up to see her smiling indulgently at Jason.

  ‘After all, we don’t know what she’s up to in the jungle and we want you back safe with us.’ Solemnly, she stepped forward and set her aegis down on the rock. ‘That’s why I’ve decided to lend you this.’

  Everyone gasped. Eyes grew wide in the grey light. Even Alex felt his breath catch as he stepped forward for a closer look.

  Athena’s shield was the most revered object in the Underworld. Crafted from a wide circle of bronze and coated with silver, its face was dominated by the Gorgon Medusa’s head. And I mean the Gorgon’s head. You see, years ago, Athena’s nephew Perseus had borrowed the shield to kill the snake-haired monster whose stare turned people to stone. Using the shiny inside of the shield like a mirror, he’d stalked Medusa through the cave-tunnels of her lair and, using her reflection to avoid her deadly gaze, had killed her. Triumphant, he’d brought back her severed head as a present for his aunt Athena, who’d magically fused it into the shield, seamlessly melding the monster’s head beneath the metal, veiling Medusa’s face in silver. The goddess never let anyone else carry it, never mind take it out of her sight.

  Jason prodded the Gorgon’s lumpy face rudely with his finger, making Alex flinch. You see, even though visitors to the Underworld Zoo still shivered fearfully from behind her ghost’s stare-proof screens, Alex was truly fond of her. After all, it’s hard to be terrified of someone once you know how they like their porridge in the morning, and now he found himself hoping that Hex would remember that Medusa liked hers steaming hot, with a squirt of grasshopper syrup.

  ‘Observe!’ smiled Athena and lifted her hands high into the air. ‘I, Pallas Athena, command you to awaken and reveal!’

  A sudden wind sprang up from the back of the cave and whistled around the shimmering walls, snapping at the curls of the goddesses’ hair and making them squeal. Then, twisting back through the group, it rattled the shield furiously before sweeping out of the cave and gusting along the beach, leaving a trail of spinning sand dunes in its wake.

  Alex stared. The surface of the shield was rippling, its lustrous coating running like liquid, shuddering over the Gorgon’s features and dribbling over the etched scales of the snakes. Suddenly the Gorgon’s eyes snapped open. Two orange topazes, glittering like fire, replaced the monster’s deadly eyes and they sparkled furiously as five living snakes spiralled out around her head, like party poppers, from the squirming mass of asps below. With their tails held in the metal of the shield below, they rocked and hissed, slithering over one another, luxuriating in the cool air.

  Aphrodite screamed and ran out of the cave whilst everyone else stepped backwards. Everyone else, that is, apart from Alex, who, recognising them from their ghost-twins at the zoo – the sandy-brown horned viper, an adder with a bumpy snout, a black-and-white striped krait, a rather elderly, copper-skinned cobra and a grass snake, no more than a whip of greenish grey19 – wished he’d brought his jar of dried locusts with him.

  The Gorgon slid her blazing eyes sideways to look at Athena. ‘What do you want?’

  ‘You’ve a mission,’ said Athena.

  ‘Miss-s-s-ion?’ muttered Cobra, fluttering his collar sleepily.

  ‘Is that it?’ growled Medusa, screwing up her face. ‘Wake me from the middle of a wonderful snooze for this, would you? I’d just dreamed that my cave was filled with a thousand statues of hunky men. Now it’s blasts of wind under my chin, a deafening clang in my ear-holes and everybody up!’

  ‘You’ll be travelling with a hero,’ said Jason smoothly.

  The Gorgon glanced in his direction. ‘Oh, lucky me.’

  Alex stifled a smile. After all, if it hadn’t been for a hero like Perseus she’d still be wearing her head in its proper place: on her shoulders. He blushed as her blazing eyes caught sight of him and winked, knowing that her head was psychically linked with her ghost back in the zoo, and that she would realise that Alex was the one who cared for her.

  Lifting the shield from the rock, Athena slid it on to her forearm and held it out in front of her as the snakes continued to writhe. ‘These are the Serpents of Strife!’

  ‘S-s-soldiersss in s-s-scalesss!’ hissed Krait, swishing out so that his stripes flashed past like a zebra’s tail. He quivered his pink tongue gleefully. ‘We helped protect Medus-s-s-a for c-c-centuriesss! Picking up the s-s-scentsss of intrudersss ––’

  ‘Their vibrationsss,’ continued Viper, ducking as Cobra began to wheel round happily.

  ‘Their nas-s-sty s-s-swordsss and intentionsss,’ muttered Adder, unfurling his brown, diamond-patterned body backwards as the old snake spun by.

  ‘And made s-s-sure s-s-she didn’t trip over all their los-s-st s-s-shields in the dark,’ said the little green one.

  Alex smiled. Grass Snake was the only non-venomous serpent in the gang and had always been more of a ringlet than a tress in Medusa’s terrifying hair-do.

  ‘S-s-so,’ said Viper, narrowing his yellow eyes as the doddery cobra twirled past yet again. ‘Where are we going?’

  ‘The Amazon,’ said Athena.

  ‘A new battle!’ hissed Krait and stretched bolt upright. Beneath him, the asps squirmed and rasped, twisting over each other in a tangle of knots. ‘Attention! Let’sss make a s-s-start!’

  ‘Cherry tart?’ said Cobra, stopping abruptly to regard the other with dim, clouded eyes.

  ‘No!’ Viper prodded the old snake rudely with his snout.

  ‘Besidesss,’ explained Adder importantly, ‘tart, cherry or otherwise-s-se, is a refres-s-shment enjoyed for lunch or s-s-supper. Were you to turn your aged s-s-snout towardsss the beach, you might s-s-scent how low the tide isss, clearly making it the middle of the afternoon.’

  ‘Already?’ said Alex, shocked. Snatching up the writhing shield, he looked at Persephone. ‘We have to go. Which door is it?’

  ‘This way,’ she said.

  Alex and Aries turned away from the syrupy chirrup of goodbyes for Jason, and followed the queen to the pooled blackness at the back of the caves. Stopping at the foot of the last stairway, she flicked her long plait back over her shoulder and reached for the hoop of keys hanging from her belt. For a moment she fumbled beneath the guttering torchlight until she found the right one and unclipped it from the others. It was a large iron key attached by a chain to what appeared to Alex to be a strange-looking wooden bird with blue feathers, but which we would have recognised as a parrot.

  ‘This key opens the door to the Amazon,’ she said, looking earnestly into their faces as Jason caught up with them. ‘From the Underworld to Earth and back home again from the rainforest. So, whatever you do, don’t lose it!’

  ‘We won’t!’ breezed Jason, plucking it from her fingers and leaping onto the staircase.

  Flying up the steps, taking two at a time, he then sprinted over the walkway, pausing for a moment to stand beside the portal, hand on hip
, waving the key over his head.

  ‘See you all soon!’ he announced to the cheering crowd. He glanced down at Alex. ‘I’ll lead the way! You, boy, bring the luggage!’ Then turning, he vanished through the door behind him.

  ‘Luggage?’ snorted Aries. ‘Boy? Did you hear him?’

  ‘Come on,’ urged Alex, looking into the ram’s furious eyes. He unfastened the sword – the heaviest of the gifts – in the hope of reducing Aries’ now dismally sagging back and, turning away from the goddesses, leaned closer to whisper in Aries’ ear. ‘Remember, this is all for Rose.’

  Aries nodded and, clearly summoning up his last remaining scraps of dignity, turned away and thundered up the surf-slicked steps. Rams are amazing climbers, with tough hooves able to snag rocky cusps and soft pads as grippy as any climbing shoe, and I’m delighted to tell you that happily the craggy steps gave him no trouble at all. Soon at the top, he glanced back over his shoulder at Alex before turning and clattering along the boardwalk.

  Relieved to finally be leaving, Alex followed him up the stairs, clutching the sword and shield tightly. How he wished that his parents could see him now. He smiled, remembering how proud they’d been that morning, their faces pink with delight, when he’d rushed back to tell them that he’d been chosen to travel with Jason – yes, mother, the Jason – and now, reaching the top of the steps, his whole body buzzed with the excitement of another quest, imagining Rose’s delighted face when she saw them again, bursting out of the jungle to help her.

  So, it was unfortunate that the old wood of the boardwalk chose that moment to start clacking rudely beneath Aries, thunking like a warped xylophone, whilst the lyre, bouncing in the narrow gap between the ram’s bustling haunches and the wall, began to twang. Miserably. Far from being the sort of melody that would charm birds and soothe lions, it sounded to Alex more like something that would make the fire-breathing bulls hurl themselves on to the ground and fling their legs up in surrender. Awash with the dreary sound, Alex felt his burst of optimism fade away and with it the image of Rose’s face as he realised the enormous danger of their mission. Because not only did they have to survive Earth, armed with a cocktail stirrer, a picture of Zeus and some rather attractive pieces of embroidery, and trek through a vast jungle filled with Hades-knew-what to face the wrath of a scheming sorceress at the end of it, but for them to have the teeniest chance of success, Aries and Jason would need to work together.