by Maggie Cox
She turned to observe him. ‘What does it look like I’m doing?’
‘You’d better get down from there before you break your neck!’
Before she could react Jake had moved across to her and caught her by the waist. Then he unceremoniously hoisted her off the chair. Caitlin felt her face flame red.
‘Stop treating me like a child, will you? I’m perfectly capable of cleaning a few windows without supervision.’
‘That might be the case, but who in hell asked you to clean the windows in the first place? I hire someone from a cleaning firm to do that. I hired you to sing in a band, not become my domestic.’
Jake glanced impatiently around him and Caitlin saw him register the spotless parquet floor, the plumped-up cushions on his easy chairs and futon, the shining glass on his framed prints. Aware that his hands still lingered at the sides of her waist, she wished her heart wouldn’t beat quite so fast—because his touch was already making her feel weak.
‘I can’t help it’ She shrugged, ‘I always clean when I get tense. I can’t stand inactivity…not having something to do.’ Her teeth clamped down on her lip.
‘I see.’
Beneath his impenetrable glare, she felt like a small child being told off by her parent.
Because she was nervous, she remarked thoughtlessly, ‘By the way, I notice that you don’t have many personal photos around?’
As soon as the words were out Caitlin wanted the floor to open up and swallow her.
Jake’s expression was immediately dismayed. ‘If by “personal photos” you mean of family, then you know very well that I don’t have any.’
Her insides turned over. ‘I…I’m so sorry I said that. I was just nervous. But personal photos could equally mean friends. Didn’t you have any close pals when you were young?’
When he didn’t immediately comment, she felt as if the hole she’d just dug herself had got even deeper.
‘You mean at the children’s home? Not really.’
His tone was chillingly matter-of-fact. Caitlin knew she should steer the conversation away from his heartbreaking childhood as quickly as possible, but care and concern for him made her not want to shy away from it.
‘Do you mind if I ask how you came to grow up in a children’s home, Jake?’
‘My mother gave me up because she was just sixteen when she fell pregnant with me and in her wisdom decided to have me adopted. Only I wasn’t adopted. I was hard to place because I was born with a heart murmur. The people at the children’s home told me that most interested adoptive parents were wary of taking on a sick baby.’ Shrugging, he shaped his lips into a sardonic smile. ‘Not that I minded…it was their loss. As I grew older I realised what an asset it was to be left alone by people. I learned to enjoy my own company, to pursue my own interests without interference.’
Caitlin stared, trying hard to assimilate everything she’d heard. ‘And what about the heart murmur? Do you still see a doctor or specialist?’
‘No. I grew out of it. It got better all by itself. It hasn’t been an issue since I was young. Anyway, are you going to tell me what’s making you so tense, or do I have to guess?’
Suddenly impatient, he relieved her of the scrunched-up cleaning rag she was still holding onto and threw it onto the window ledge.
As Caitlin fought hard to marshal her thoughts, Jake sucked in a breath and let it out again slowly. ‘I don’t want you to worry about what happened between us.’
‘I’m not. I mean, I was just…I was just…’
He held up his hand to indicate she should stop talking. His blue eyes glittered. ‘Hear me out. I don’t want you to worry about it because I don’t regret a damn thing. And, contrary to what you might think, I’m not going to pretend it never happened.’
A warm rush climbed into her chest. The anxiety that had propelled her into her frenetic cleaning bout slowly subsided, leaving her with a sense of joy so acute she couldn’t resist the smile that tugged at her lips.
He didn’t regret it… That surely had to signify something, didn’t it?
‘However,’ he continued, ‘even though I won’t pretend it never happened, I agree we can’t risk a repeat performance. You were right when you said we should concentrate on the band.’
Caitlin’s brief joy was quickly replaced by crushing disappointment. It was so intense that it was as though all the breath had been brutally sucked from her lungs.
‘You think that’s the best idea?’ she murmured.
‘It’s not because I don’t want us to be together again like we were this morning…’
Capturing her wrist, Jake firmly wove his fingers through her own. His misty blue eyes mesmerised her, and she saw that he was hungry for her again—and yet it was clear he was furious with himself. She suddenly realised that he didn’t want to desire her so much, and was furious because she was hardly helping him to resist.
‘You got into this because you wanted to realise a dream,’ he went on. ‘One day soon this band is going to be very successful…that is if we’re all committed to the same goal. If you and I don’t maintain a professional relationship then the whole thing could fall apart. I think that would be a great shame, don’t you?’
She wasn’t going to disagree. With a brief nod she dropped her gaze. To her surprise, Jake released her hand, slid his fingers beneath her jaw and lifted her chin.
‘I’ve been to see Rick and I’ve arranged to stay over at his place tonight. You can stay here. Treat the place as if it was your own. I’ll be over to pick you up at about six. We’ll do a sound-check and run through the playlist. Tomorrow, when we go to Brighton, I’ve booked you into a separate hotel from the rest of us—a much nicer hotel, because you deserve a little luxury. All in all, I think the arrangement is for the best.’
Caitlin swallowed hard.
‘Why? Don’t you trust me, Jake? I’d much rather be in the same hotel as everyone else. Do you think that because we made love I’m going to make a nuisance of myself?’
Hurt cramping her throat, she pulled out of his grasp and strode across to the other side of the room. Folding her arms, she stared blankly up at a large photographic print of a beautiful redhead. The sight of it made her even sadder when she remembered that there weren’t any more personal photos around because Jake had no family. It broke her heart to think that he’d grown up without someone to love him.
‘Are you crazy?’ he ground out. ‘It’s me I don’t trust. It’s like I told you before—I have a job to do and a little bit of distance wouldn’t be a bad thing right now…at least when we’re not working together.’
Everything he said made the utmost sense, but it didn’t prevent Caitlin from feeling desperately disappointed. Hope was futile, she realised. She didn’t have a right to hope for anything as far as Jake Sorenson was concerned. And thank goodness at least one of them was taking charge of the situation. Of course it was right that the band should come first.
Wasn’t her passion for music and singing the reason she had auditioned in the first place? It certainly hadn’t been because she was looking for another relationship. And she was sure she wasn’t looking for some ‘on-off’ hot little liaison with Blue Sky’s charismatic manager. The sooner she let Jake see that she wasn’t going to waste her time crying over spilt milk, the better.
‘It sounds like you’ve taken care of everything. Good. I can’t say I’m not glad about that. Rick was right when he said it would a bad idea, making things personal between us.’
‘Leave Rick out of this’ with a grim scowl Jake walked angrily towards her. ‘What’s between you and me is nobody’s business but our own. You got that?’
What could Caitlin do beneath that frosty glare but acquiesce? Even if what he had just said contradicted everything he’d said previously. Their relationship wasn’t just their own business—wasn’t that the point? Blue Sky had a vested interest in her not having a personal relationship with their manager. They were probably concerned that Jake
would break her heart and she would end up leaving the band…just as Marcie had.
Perhaps it really was for the best if Caitlin and Jake pretended that their passionate liaison hadn’t happened after all. If Jake could be cool about it then she would just have to learn to do the same.
* * *
That night, having heard positive feedback about Blue Sky’s performance the previous night, the music press turned out in force. Onstage, determinedly giving her all, Caitlin had had to contend with flashbulbs popping in her face at regular intervals and backstage afterwards it was even worse.
A huge number of people had squeezed into a room not much bigger than a cloakroom. The atmosphere was hot, stuffy and claustrophobic, and the smell of alcohol mingled liberally with the accumulated heat of bodies pressing in too close. All she really wanted to do was to get back to Jake’s flat and escape.
The sense of panic that gripped her had taken her by surprise, and she’d more or less clammed up when too many questions had been catapulted her way by over-zealous reporters who barely gave her even a second to answer them. If it hadn’t been for Jake, dealing with their questions with cool professionalism, as well as Rick protecting her from the crush, Caitlin would have fled in a heartbeat—never mind that publicity any publicity…was meant to be good.
Mid-morning the next day found her sitting in the foyer of the old-fashioned seafront hotel in Brighton that Jake had booked the band into, delicately hiding a yawn behind her hand as Rick and Jake conversed with the desk clerk. The rest of the band members were out on the small square patio, chatting. Caitlin stifled another guilty yawn as she watched them.
‘Are we keeping you awake, Cait?’
Taking her by surprise, Rick gave her shoulder an affectionate squeeze, then dropped down beside her on the padded seat, stirring the air around them with the musky scent of his cologne.
‘I couldn’t sleep last night.’ Shrugging her shoulders in the faded denim jacket she wore over a blue maxi-dress, she attempted a smile.
‘Excitement keeping you up, huh?’
Rick was grinning, and she saw her companion’s astute hazel eyes were curious. ‘Something like that,’ Caitlin replied.
Let him think that, she decided. It was a lot less complicated than confessing that she’d been missing Jake. That her body had been aching for him all night.
She would swear that she’d tossed and turned from midnight to dawn because she needed him so much. No wonder she felt as if she could sleep for England this morning!
Jake had bunked down over at Rick’s, and the Chelsea flat had been soulless and empty without him. Even last night’s undoubted success and the ensuing interest from the press hadn’t been able to console her.
Was it really so wrong that she should want Jake as badly as she did? Her gaze helplessly gravitated towards him as he leant casually back against the reception desk, his glance sweeping thoughtfully over her and Rick. Today, his long legs were encased in faded black denim, a leather belt with a buckle was slung low on his tight, lean hips and his leather jacket was folded casually across one arm. His expression made her heart turn over. She wondered if he’d had similar trouble getting to sleep last night.
As his searching glance deliberately sought hers Caitlin sensed the hot sizzle from the contact erupt in her belly like a flare.
‘We’ve got a few things lined up for today, but perhaps you can catch up on some rest later on, before the gig tonight.’
With her face warmly glowing, Caitlin guiltily turned her attention back to Rick.
‘Sounds good to me…what things?’
‘You mean you don’t know?’
‘No, I don’t.’
‘Didn’t Jake tell you about the photographs?’
‘What photographs?’
‘We’re booked into a studio in a couple of hours.’
Jake was suddenly there in front of them.
‘We’re getting some promotional shots of the band.’
Caitlin refrained from commenting. She was wondering if a couple of hours would be enough to transform her sleepy-eyed expression into something half resembling awake. Aside from that, she hated having her photograph taken. Next to eating beetroot, it was right up there on the list of things that made her squirm.
‘So be sure to wear something sexy,’ Rick piped up with a grin. ‘You’re bound to give the current babes in the charts a run for their money!’
Caitlin immediately rounded on him with an affronted glare. ‘The campaign for equal rights for women clearly just passed you by, didn’t it? Why strive for intelligent observation when you can just go for the lowest common denominator?’
In his usual incorrigible fashion he returned, ‘Because life is complicated enough, without trying to be clever. I’m a simple guy. Can I help it if I have an eye for beauty?’
‘You’ve made your point, Rick.’ Jake’s blue eyes were icy as he flashed him a warning glare. ‘Now, why don’t you just leave it there?’
‘Can I check into my hotel now?’ Caitlin interjected quickly. ‘If these photos are strictly necessary then I’d like to get a shower and make myself presentable before we go.’
Rising abruptly to her feet, she pulled the edges of her denim jacket more closely across her dress’s scooped neckline. All the testosterone flying around was making her nervous.
‘Sure—I’ll take you. Let’s go back to the car.’ Jake handed Rick a bunch of key cards. ‘You guys go and sort yourselves out. I’ll make sure Caitlin is okay and catch up with you in about half an hour.’
Getting to his feet, Rick frowned. ‘Gee, I wish taking care of our “best asset” was part of my job description. It can hardly seem like work, can it?’ he quipped.
Almost imperceptibly Jake’s shoulders stiffened. Feigning indifference to the undoubted tension between the two men, Caitlin started to walk away. But Jake caught hold of her elbow and led them across the shiny parquet floor towards the exit.
She shook off his hold. ‘I’m quite capable of—’
‘Not now, Caitlin.’
Without even sparing her a glance, he conveyed the fact that his temper was on a very short fuse. Only a fool would seek to ignite it, so she swallowed down her indignation and turned her attention to keeping pace with his long-legged stride.
* * *
Flipping off the top of a bottle of beer from the mini-bar in his room, Jake imbibed a generous draught of the ice-cold contents and then dropped back down onto the bed. Sounds of the city permeated the forest-green curtains he’d drawn to shut out the night, and inside the images on the television screen silently flickered.
He’d deliberately muted the sound, but for a moment or two his attention was caught by the intense expressions of two lovers bidding each other goodbye at a railway station. The corners of his mouth lifted in a smile and a warm feeling climbed steadily into his chest—but it wasn’t just because of the touching scene. The sight of the lovers had inevitably made him think of Caitlin.
Her name alone had the power to convey feelings inside him that he scarcely knew what to do with. Watching her pose with the rest of the band that afternoon for photographs had been both heaven and hell. She’d worn fitted black jeans with a virginal white stretch top that had clung lovingly to her breasts, and at the photographer’s behest had taken off her boots and socks to leave her feet sexily bare. With her river of ebony hair, sparkling green eyes and naturally beautiful smile, Jake’s hadn’t been the only jaw to hit the floor when she’d stood as instructed with the other band members to pose for the camera.
‘Anyone need some ice to help them cool down?’ Rick had quipped as they’d stood together, observing the proceedings, and the comment had made Jake feel far from friendly as he thought of his colleague fantasising about the woman who had so recently become his lover…the woman he was trying desperately hard not to want because protocol demanded he abstain.
Dismayed by the violence of his feelings, he’d taken a couple of steps back to compose
himself as he’d wrestled with a near overwhelming urge to kidnap Caitlin after the shoot and take her back to his hotel room. That was when his imagination had gone into overdrive.
Groaning, he took another swig of beer and glared at the television as the thought of yet another cold shower made him want to grab the offending equipment and throw it out the window. That would be a coup for the press…the band manager at the centre of a scandal with his model ex-wife a few years ago drawing attention once again with a demonstration of typically ‘rock star’ behaviour in a hotel room.
Irritably dismissing the thought, Jake brought his attention back to Caitlin. She had yet again done them proud that night, her sexy, heaven-sent voice alternately whipping up the crowd or innocently seducing them, her vocals melding perfectly with the band’s tight, rich sound. In just three short weeks she’d learned more, given more, and was shaping up into more of a professional than some people in the business he’d known for years. He might be biased, but Jake knew they were onto something good.
But if he didn’t touch her again soon he would lose his mind. That was if he hadn’t lost it already.
He stretched out his hand for the telephone next to the bed. He could at least talk to her, tell her… Tell her what, exactly? That he was going crazy just thinking about her? That he was desperate to hold her and demonstrate in no uncertain terms just how much he desired her?
He let the receiver clatter noisily back onto its rest. He couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t put Caitlin in such an untenable position. He’d just have to find some other way of working off all his nervous energy. Was that the correct term for a raging libido these days?
With a humourless smile, he drained the bottle of beer dry, then stood up and threw it into a nearby wastepaper bin. Then he reached for his jacket and slammed out through the door without even pausing to switch off the TV.
* * *
The jarring sound of a bell ringing right next to her ear had Caitlin burying her face into her lilac-coloured pillow in a bid to shut the noise out. It must be someone’s car alarm going off down the street—or a fire drill, perhaps. Her mind played games with the sound, encouraging her to carry on sleeping. Someone would see to it soon, she thought vaguely.