Tainted Lives

by Mandasue Heller

  Claire was so inconsiderate sometimes. But what more could they expect of her? She was a mess – a nasty, unstable mess. And if ever proof were needed that she was losing it, she’d just displayed it for all to see.

  Dandi just hoped she calmed down and came back before six or Hillgate would get awkward about taking her. If she knew where Claire kept disappearing to, she’d go and get her and deliver her there personally. Anything to get the girl off her hands.

  4

  Claire was on a comedown by the time she reached the Crescents. Jumping off the bus before it had fully stopped, she legged it head-down across the rubbish-strewn grass fronting John Nash and launched herself into the end stairwell. Desperate to get to Billy Norman’s flat, she was gasping for breath by the time she reached the third floor.

  ‘Aw, for fuck’s sake!’ Makka Caine hissed when he answered the door. ‘Not you again! What d’y’ want now?’

  ‘Gotta see Billy.’ Ducking under his arm, Claire ran inside before Makka could stop her. Pausing in the living-room doorway, she looked around for Billy among the men sprawled around the floor. A few groaned when they saw her, the rest just glanced at her, uninterested.

  The groaners were Billy’s mates who knew what a nuisance she’d become. The rest were punters who thought nothing of her arrival as they waited for Billy to get the shit ready. They didn’t give a damn what turned up – as long as it wasn’t in uniform.

  Ignoring them all, Claire stepped clumsily over their legs and made for the kitchen on the far side. Falling noisily through the door, she yelped, ‘Billy, I’m back! Giz a snog, then, gorgeous?’

  Glancing up from the heap of powder he was cutting and dividing on the ledge, Billy kissed his missing teeth, making a strange slurping sound. In his mid-forties, he looked older thanks to a hefty habit. Gaunt-cheeked, with greasy hair trailing into his eyes, a permanent stoop and enough spots to line the bottom of a fish tank. Even he knew he was anything but gorgeous.

  ‘What d’y’ want?’ he growled, shoving her away as she tried to hug him. ‘I told you this morning, you’d had your lot.’

  ‘Aw, c’m on, babes.’ She greedily eyed the small pile of silver-foil wraps he’d prepared. ‘I only need a bit to knock the edge off. I’m bombing out, man.’

  ‘Where’s the cash?’

  ‘Not got ’ny.’ She patted her empty pockets. ‘But I only wanna bit.’

  Glancing back over his shoulder, Billy gave her a disgusted look. ‘You’re a disgrace, you,’ he said, meaning it – conveniently forgetting who’d started her down this road in the first place. ‘Look at the state of you, man. You’re filthy, an’ you stink like a fucking badger!’

  Joining them, Makka kicked the door shut and scowled at Claire. ‘Want me to get rid, Bill? I could take her down the canal an’ give her a snide shove, if you want?’

  ‘Yeah.’ Claire grinned, nudging him. ‘Snide shove . . . Good ’un, Makka. Make that fat cunt in the Home think I’m dead and get her off me back.’

  ‘She thinks I’m joking,’ Makka snorted. ‘Christ, she’s fucked up!’

  Frowning, Billy grabbed Claire’s shoulder and turned her roughly around. ‘What’s that about the Home? You’d better not have been mouthing off about me to that lot, ’cos if you have . . .’

  ‘Course I ain’t!’ She clutched at his arm. ‘I wouldn’t do that to you, Billy. You’ve been dead good to me, you have. I’d never drop you in it . . . I could, but I wouldn’t!’

  Billy felt the anger churn in his stomach. The bitch had him over a barrel, and she knew it. One word from her, and he was dead meat. Sex with a minor was bad enough, for a kick-off – and the fact that she’d told him she was seventeen would be no defence.

  Then there was the gear he’d been supplying her with. And the money he’d made charging his mates for a poke of her once-tight hole. And, worse than all of that, there was that thing growing inside her – which he knew intuitively was his, despite the fact that it could be down to any one of the blokes who’d used her as a sperm bank. He’d be in serious strife if she opened her increasingly flapping gob, but what was he supposed to do?

  ‘So, you gonna give us a bit, or what?’ Claire licked her lips in anticipation. ‘I only wanna take the edge off. An’ I really need it, babes. You don’t know the mess I’m in back there.’

  ‘What mess?’ Billy squinted at her. ‘What you done, Claire?’

  ‘It ain’t me,’ she whined. ‘It’s them! They’re trying to send me to Hillgate . . . But I ain’t going back.’ She shook her head adamantly. ‘I’ve had it with that lot. They can kiss me bleedin’ arse!’

  ‘What d’y’ mean, you ain’t going back? You’ve got nowhere else to go, you dozy bitch.’

  ‘I’ve already gone,’ she sniggered.

  ‘You what?’ Billy shot a poisonous glare at Makka who was laughing out loud. ‘I hope that don’t mean what I think it means, ’cos I’m telling you now it ain’t happening. I don’t need no pregnant kid fucking me life up. You can piss right off!’

  ‘Give us a wrap first,’ she begged. ‘Then I’ll go – if that’s what you want?’

  ‘Too right it is.’ Then: ‘Okay . . . I’ll give you one last one. But that’s it. No more. Got that?’

  ‘All right, all right,’ Claire agreed, nodding furiously. ‘Come on, then . . . Gimme gimme!’

  ‘I mean it, Claire. I don’t wanna see your face round here again – ever!’

  ‘You won’t!’ Her cheek muscles twitched with anticipation as Billy took a piece of foil and heaped a tiny mound of powder onto it.

  ‘You ain’t seriously giving her none?’ Makka wasn’t amused. ‘She ain’t paid, man.’

  ‘And she ain’t gonna.’ Billy stood his ground. ‘You heard me. It’s her last, then she’s out – an’ she won’t be coming back.’

  ‘Yeah, right, like that’s really gonna happen. She’ll be back before you’ve got the stench of her out of the fucking flat. She’s one of them birds what can’t take no for an answer.’

  ‘Didn’t hear you saying no when I spread me legs,’ Claire sniped. ‘You was one of the first begging for a go, you.’

  Makka turned on her angrily. ‘Yeah, but we didn’t know what you was like then, did we? We wouldn’t have laid a finger on you if we knew what a dirty little slag you was.’

  ‘You want to watch how you talk to me,’ she threatened, her voice mean. ‘I could drop you in it like that!’ She snapped her fingers.

  ‘An’ I could break your fuckin’ neck like that!’ Makka yelled, clapping his hands together sharply, a fraction of an inch from her nose.

  ‘Pack it in, the pair of you,’ Billy hissed, conscious of the men beyond the door who didn’t – and shouldn’t – know the score here. They were all good for the money, but he wouldn’t trust them to guard a pet ant, let alone the dirty secrets surrounding this girl.

  Coming to a decision, he handed the foil and a rolled fiver straw to Claire and sat her down on a stool. ‘Here, have this, then go to my room and lie down.’

  ‘You what?’ Makka was incredulous. ‘What you playing at, man? If you let her stay, she’ll never fuckin’ leave.’

  Pulling him to the far side of the kitchen, Billy said, ‘I’m buying time, man.’

  ‘For what?’

  ‘I’m gonna have a chat to May.’ Billy raised an eyebrow. ‘Get me?’

  Makka looked confused for a moment. Then he grinned as realization sank in. ‘Got you.’

  ‘Worth a try, innit?’ Billy went on quietly. ‘That’s the third time this week she’s said summat about dropping us in it, and I reckon she’s capable of doin’ it, an’ all. Least this way there’d be no evidence.’

  ‘So long as May keeps it zipped,’ Makka warned. ‘You know what a gobby slag she is.’

  ‘Nah.’ Billy shook his head. ‘She ain’t that thick. She knows what she’d get. Anyhow, go an’ have a word with her while I get them in there sorted. I wanna clear the place out before it gets too late.’<
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  ‘All right,’ Makka agreed. Then he added quietly, ‘But if May don’t go for it, keep in mind what I said about the canal.’

  ‘You serious?’

  ‘Deadly! The bitch could send us down for years, man. Think what that’d be like, then tell me if you’ve got any better ideas.’

  Billy didn’t need to think about it. There was no way he was going down again. He wouldn’t last a minute. If the turkey didn’t kill him, the other cons would. He had one of those faces prison hard men took exception to. No, he wasn’t going down again.

  ‘Okay,’ he agreed. ‘I’ll keep it in mind. But let’s see what May’s saying first. Less messy in the long run.’

  ‘What you talking about?’ Claire squeaked, going red in the face as she struggled to hold the dragon-smoke in.

  ‘Sshhh!’ Billy hissed. ‘It’s a secret. Feeling better now?’

  ‘Loads.’ She exhaled noisily. ‘But there weren’t much there, Bill. Can I have a bit more?’

  Motioning Makka to the door with a nod, Billy went to Claire and pulled her to her feet. ‘Later. I want you to have a lie-down first, like I said.’

  Shoving her out the door and through the living room, he pushed her into the bedroom and made her lie down on his mattress. Pulling the door firmly shut, he went back to do his deals and clear the flat.

  Makka came back ten minutes later. ‘Sorted,’ he said, giving the thumbs-up. ‘I’m giving her a knock after dark.’

  5

  Sarah was having a good day. Shoplifting was so much easier when the weather was nice and the town was packed. You didn’t need subtlety, you just grabbed what you wanted and legged it, losing yourself in the crowd before anyone had a chance to suss what you’d done. She’d managed to get much more than usual already – and most of it real quality: Chanel and Givenchy. She’d even managed to snaffle a cool pair of Armani shades.

  Taking her haul to the grotty backstreet pawnshop she used, nestled innocently among the smut stores on Tib Street, Sarah waited until Old Man Gerber had locked the door before laying it out on the counter for his appraisal. Watching as he looked it over with a greedy gleam in his eye, she smiled to herself. Seconds later, she laughed out loud when he offered her just fifty quid for the lot.

  ‘Two hundred,’ she told him firmly. ‘There’s a grand’s worth of stuff there.’

  ‘But it’s dodgy,’ Mr Gerber slimed, grinning toothlessly. ‘And I mightn’t get rid of it. It could end up in the back room with all the other shit I’ve got myself stuck with. You know how much I lose, taking risks like this?’

  ‘Come off it!’ she scoffed. ‘You’ll have it shifted before I’ve caught my bus.’

  ‘Ah, but it’s a buyer’s market, my little sweet-cheeks.’

  ‘Not this time, it’s not. That’s top gear, that.’

  Tilting his head back, Mr Gerber gave a thoughtful gurn.‘All right, here’s what I’ll do. Seeing as you’re so pretty, I’ll go to a one-er. But that’s the lot. Take it or leave it.’

  ‘See ya!’ Gathering her things together, Sarah made for the door.

  ‘Catch a breath,’ he called. ‘Look, okay, one-fifty – but that’s my limit.’

  ‘Done!’

  ‘My, you drive a hard bargain.’ Reaching beneath the counter for his money bag, he made a meal of laying the five-pound notes on the counter one by one, grumbling, ‘I don’t know how I’m gonna rake this back, you know. You kill me, you kids, you really do. You’ll have me in an early grave.’

  Pocketing the money, Sarah smiled. ‘You always say that, Mr G, but you’re still here, aren’t you?’

  Tossing her a lewd wink, Mr Gerber leaned his elbows on the counter and raked her body with his stare, telling her in a lust-thick voice, ‘That’s ’cos I’ve got the stamina of a bull, my love. I could give you a ride you wouldn’t forget in a hurry.’ His tongue flicked in and out between his lips like a restless worm. ‘Fancy giving it a shot?’

  Grimacing, Sarah shook her head. Shrugging with his hands, Mr Gerber gave an Oh, well, your loss sigh and pressed the buzzer to release her from his dungeon – calling after her as she escaped that he had a great stack of videos if she ever changed her mind.

  Shuddering with revulsion, Sarah wrapped her jacket tighter around herself and hurried back to the civilized part of town.

  Most of the shops were closed now but, too hyped up to go straight home after such a good day, she decided to hang around for a while – treat herself to a burger, and maybe a trip to the Odeon. She hadn’t been to the pictures for ages, but she’d made so much today that she could afford it this once. As long as that was all it was – a one-off. She’d worked too hard to fritter her money away on nonsense.

  If there was one lesson that Sarah had learned from her mother, it was that you could never rely on anyone but yourself. With that in mind, she never missed an opportunity to add to her secret savings, and had shoplifted her way through two school holidays – making a fair profit, even at Mr Gerber’s rip-off rates. And she hadn’t stopped there, for there was plenty lying around at Starlight for the taking: petty cash from the office, unattended purses, trip funds . . .

  She had no qualms about what she took from Starlight, because she didn’t consider that real stealing. It was Council money, which meant it was intended for her. And what could Dandi say when it was her who’d drummed it into them that God only helped those who helped themselves?

  Slipping into the shadow of an industrial-sized bin, Sarah peeled four fivers off the money that she’d got from Mr Gerber and stashed the rest beneath the lining of her bag before setting off to treat herself.

  By eight-thirty, Dandi was at the end of her tether. Claire still hadn’t come back, and to make matters worse, Hillgate had phoned to say that they’d not only given her bed away but didn’t foresee another vacancy until the appointed time. Furious at the thought of being lumbered for another two months, Dandi rang the police.

  ‘You’ve done the right thing,’ Mark assured her. ‘She’s had plenty of time to sort her head out.’

  ‘I know.’ Dandi sighed guiltily. ‘I just wish I hadn’t had to let it get to this. I feel like a complete failure.’

  ‘That,’ he told her firmly, ‘is one thing you most definitely are not!’

  ‘Thanks.’ She smiled gratefully. ‘It’s nice to know someone has faith in me. Don’t mind if I smoke, do you?’ She was already pulling a cigarette from the drawer.

  ‘Hell, yeah!’ Frowning, he folded his arms.

  ‘Oh, don’t do this to me. I’m desperate.’

  ‘Hey – I’m joking. I’ll open the window.’

  ‘Do you have to?’ Shivering exaggeratedly, Dandi lit the cigarette and wrapped her cardigan tighter around herself. ‘It’s the middle of winter, man!’

  ‘It’ll do you good.’

  ‘I’ll freeze to death.’

  ‘Nonsense. You’re just scared your lungs won’t recognize that strange new substance – fresh air.’

  ‘Sadist!’

  ‘Smoker!’

  There was a knock at the door, accompanied by a gaggle of arguing girly voices. Sighing, Dandi went to stub the cigarette out.

  ‘I’ll deal with it,’ Mark told her. ‘You stay there and relax.’

  ‘What would I do without you?’ she asked, smiling.

  ‘Don’t worry.’ He grinned. ‘It’s going on your tab. And boy, will I enjoy the pay-off!’

  Opening the door just enough to slip out, he pulled it firmly shut behind him. Seconds later, the shouting was replaced by giggles.

  Mr Charming Chambers strikes again, Dandi thought, marvelling at his ability to relate to the obstreperous girls. If she’d had to deal with it herself she’d have probably made it worse. But that was girls for you. A female tells them off, it’s a challenge to their burgeoning womanhood. But let a man open his mouth . . .

  Hearing tyres on the gravel outside, she looked out of the window and was surprised to see a police car. It usually took a few hou
rs to get a response out of them. But she wasn’t complaining. The sooner she got this sorted, the sooner she could wipe her hands of Claire.

  It was pouring with rain when Sarah left the cinema at just gone nine. A group of aftershave-soaked men ran by as she emerged onto the pavement, their huge feet splashing filthy water at her legs. Leaping back into the doorway, she weighed up her options: wait for the bus and be way later than she already was – big ear-bashing. Or invest the change from the twenty quid in a taxi and be just a bit late – slightly less of an ear-bashing.

  Braving the downpour, she dashed to the edge of the pavement and hailed a black cab. Settling back in her seat, she squeezed the excess water from her hair and rehearsed her excuses for the inquisition that was sure to come.

  Directing the driver to pull in at the corner, she paid the fare then waited until he’d turned and headed back to town before running around to the gates.

  Sarah stopped dead when she saw the police car sitting at an angle outside the door. A cold thrill of dread ran through her. Had she been caught on one of the shop cameras? Or followed going into Gerber’s with the gear? Or, worse – had Gerber himself grassed her?

  No, of course he hadn’t. He’d be dropping himself in it, and there was no way he’d risk that. It was more likely that Dandi had phoned them, panicking because she was late. She was in for a rollicking. But she’d rather that than the alternative – getting carted off to the cells.

  Taking the money from her bag, Sarah stashed it carefully in the heart of a bush beside the gate. Then she ran up the path and let herself into the house, an innocent smile on her rain-slicked face.

  A uniformed policeman was talking to Dandi in the hallway. Turning when Sarah entered, he said, ‘This her?’

  Dandi shook her head. ‘No, that’s Sarah, one of our other girls.’

  ‘Sorry I’m late, it’s throwing it down.’ Sarah slipped her jacket off and gave it a shake. ‘Everything all right, Dandi?’