Tainted Lives

by Mandasue Heller

  Jenny had taken Sarah into town after her first night and treated her to a burger-bar breakfast. It became a ritual, one that they both enjoyed as it gave them a chance to gossip about their workmates – particularly the manager, Gaynor, whom they both hated, and the owner, Bernie Silva, whom they both liked.

  Bernie was the main reason Sarah enjoyed working there. In his thirties, he was tall, suave, and incredibly good-looking, with slick black hair, perfect teeth, sexy blue eyes, and the softest velvety voice. He always took time to chat to her when he dropped by, complimenting her on her appearance and noticing if she’d done anything to her hair or changed her make-up.

  She didn’t mention her crush to Jenny. She was really nice, but she had told Sarah everything about the other girls, and Sarah was afraid that she would relay whatever Sarah told her to them and make her look stupid. Which was why she fabricated a normal childhood when Jenny asked about her life. Ashamed of the truth, she explained the absence of her family by saying that her mother had remarried and moved to Wales.

  Fortunately, Jenny never delved too deeply. Spending so much time at work, or sleeping in preparation for her next shift, she rarely got the chance to unburden herself and took full advantage of the fact that Sarah was such a good listener. Sarah didn’t mind. She found Jenny’s life history fascinating, and thought that the tales of her witch-bitch interfering mother and the saga of her own never-ending search for Mr Right were hilarious.

  The only dark cloud on Sarah’s bright new horizon was guilt that she still hadn’t written to Harry. And then there was Vinnie. Since she hadn’t been in touch to fulfil her side of their bargain, would he have started picking on Harry again?

  It was fear of this that finally forced her to make the time to write.

  Harry had never given up hope. Each morning, he would get up early and wait for the post, sometimes amusing himself by damaging Chambers’s car, sometimes just kicking gravel. Taking the envelopes from the postman, he would rifle through them, then deliver them to the office and get on with the day as best he could when he invariably didn’t find one for him.

  When it finally came, he almost didn’t believe it was his name he was reading. Stuffing it under his sweater, he ran inside and tossed the rest of the mail onto Dandi’s desk. Then he raced upstairs to his bedroom, sidestepping Ollie who was on his way to the bathroom.

  Dear Harry,

  Babe, I’m so sorry for taking this long to write. I hope you’re not too pissed off to read it.

  Well, I got my flat – like you couldn’t guess from the address! It’s a dump, but it’s okay for now. Give me a bit more time and we’ll make plans for you to come round. Not yet, though, because I’m working nearly all the time.

  Yeah! I got a job, and it’s ace. I’m a receptionist at a massage parlour in town. I work with a woman called Jenny – she’s really nice. We book men in for massages and that – but don’t you dare tell anyone, or they’ll think I’m a prozzy, or something!

  Everyone’s great at work, but you should see the boss. He’s well fit! His name’s Bernie, and he’s got black hair like mine, real sexy eyes, and the most gorgeous smile you’ve ever seen in your life. Anyway, I’ll tell you more when I see you.

  Well, that’s it for now. Use the tenner I’ve put in and get some stamps to write back. Save some for coming to see me, ’cos I’m missing you like mad.

  Loads of love,

  Sarah

  xxx

  PS – If Vinnie’s picking on you again, just tell him I’ll get in touch with him soon.

  The tears were streaming down Harry’s cheeks when he reached the end. She did still care! She hadn’t forgotten him. He should have known she wouldn’t.

  But he had been right about her getting a new life. She was having loads of fun, and he was jealous. Not of what she’d achieved – of the people she was hanging out with. Jenny, her new friend, and this Bernie man – Harry hated him already.

  Wiping his eyes, he forced the resentment away. He should be happy that Sarah had a place to live, and a good job. It could have been a lot worse. She could have been sleeping rough, or anything.

  Memorizing the address, he rolled the letter up and stashed it inside one of the pairs of socks at the back of his drawer. No one would find it there, and he’d be able to take it out whenever he was alone and reread it.

  Hearing footsteps outside, he slammed the drawer shut and sat on the bed with an innocent look on his face. Seconds later, Dandi came in.

  ‘Come to the office, Harry,’ she said, her face unsmiling. ‘There’s something I need to discuss with you.’

  Following her down the stairs, Harry was apprehensive. Someone must have seen him taking the letter. Dandi probably thought he’d stolen it.

  Mark Chambers was in the office. Harry’s eyes narrowed when he saw him and his mouth drew into a tight line.

  Waving Harry inside, Dandi told him to sit down. Standing over him then, arms folded, she said, ‘I’ve heard some rather disturbing news about you, Harry, but I thought I’d give you a chance to explain yourself before making a judgement.’

  Harry folded his own arms. It had to be the letter.

  ‘Well?’ Dandi said. ‘I’m waiting.’

  ‘It was mine,’ he muttered.

  ‘What was?’ She frowned, not at all sure what he was talking about.

  ‘The letter. It’s got my name on it, so it’s mine. I didn’t have to tell you if I didn’t want to.’

  ‘I don’t know anything about a letter. I was talking about Mr Chambers’s car.’

  Harry’s head jerked back defiantly. ‘What about his stupid car?’

  ‘I saw you,’ Mark said quietly. ‘This morning.’

  Harry didn’t reply. He just stared straight ahead, his mouth drawn so tight that it looked like the knot in the neck of a balloon.

  Gazing at the livid little face, Mark felt a tug of regret for having had to report him. But he’d seen him with his own eyes, and if he didn’t say anything they would never get to the bottom of what was making the boy behave so oddly.

  ‘Did you hear Mr Chambers?’ Dandi said when Harry didn’t answer. ‘He said he saw you, Harry – slashing his tyre.’

  Impossibly, Harry’s lips tightened even more, but still he refused to answer.

  Pulling a chair up beside him, Dandi sat down and tried a different tack. ‘Look, you were seen, so there’s no point denying it. But Mr Chambers and I have talked it over, and we don’t believe this is something you would do.’

  Snorting softly, Harry turned his head slightly so that he could no longer see her concerned face out of the corner of his eye. Were they stupid, or something? How could it not be him if he’d been seen?

  ‘We think somebody is making you do these things,’ Mark joined in. ‘You’re far too intelligent to do something like this without reason. Is there anything you’d like to tell us?’

  No reply.

  Dandi decided that the direct approach might be best. She and Mark had discussed the situation fully and had both come to the same conclusion. It was worth a shot.

  ‘Is Vinnie putting pressure on you?’ she asked. ‘Has he been making you damage the car?’

  ‘We’d understand if that’s what it is,’ Mark added. ‘And I wouldn’t blame you – you do know that, don’t you? I know you’re not a bad boy, and I’d be quite prepared to let the matter drop if you’d only tell us the truth.’

  Harry’s heart was hammering in his chest. He felt sick. Trapped. If they accused Vinnie of putting him up to this, Vinnie would know who had made them lose their allowances – whose fault it was that Dandi had extended the curfew and put the blocks on late-night TV on Saturdays. And once he knew, the tenuous ceasefire would be over. Harry would be dead!

  ‘It was nothing to do with Vinnie,’ he muttered, his voice so low that Dandi and Mark had to lean closer to hear him. ‘It was me – all of it. Nobody told me to do it, and nobody knows anything about it.’

  Mark’s brow crea
sed with disbelief. ‘But why? Don’t you realize how much it’s been costing me to repair it? Don’t you feel at all bad about what you’ve done?’

  ‘No!’ Harry turned to look at him, his eyes shooting sparks of pure hatred. ‘I don’t feel bad about any of it, because I hate you, and if I knew how to cut brakes, I’d do that, too!’

  ‘Harry!’ Dandi was stunned. She had never witnessed such vehemence from a child before. And from Harry Shaw, of all people. ‘What on Earth’s got into you? There’s no reason for this sort of nastiness. It’s absolutely intolerable! Have you nothing to say for yourself?’

  Mark reached out and touched her arm. He wasn’t convinced that this was as simple as Harry was making out. In fact, they should have expected this kind of reaction. Of course Harry wasn’t going to admit Vinnie’s part in this – he’d probably been warned what would happen if he did. He’d be a very strange child indeed if he weren’t petrified. Thugs like Vinnie made a religion out of terrorizing the Harrys of the world.

  ‘I want you to know,’ he told Harry, ‘that I don’t believe this is your doing, and I won’t hold it against you. We’ve always got along pretty well, and I’m sure you didn’t mean what you just said. But, while I understand your reluctance to tell us the truth – and I do understand, believe me – I just want to know that you won’t do it again. This will go no further, but it has to stop – now.’

  Harry glared at him. Sarah had been right about him. He was all smiles when it suited him – all nicey-nicey words and understanding. But why, when he now knew that it was Harry who had been wrecking his car? Why wasn’t he annoyed about it like Dandi? That was the natural reaction, so why was Chambers being so reasonable? Because he felt guilty! He knew exactly why Harry had done it, and he was trying to butter him up by letting him off the hook.

  ‘Are we agreed?’ Dandi asked. ‘It stops now, and nothing more will be said about it.’

  Harry shrugged, staring straight ahead again. They could think what they liked. He’d stop when he was good and ready. In fact, it might actually be more fun to put them off the scent – leave the car alone and start on something else. He’d have to think about it.

  ‘Okay,’ Dandi sighed. ‘You can go, Harry. Breakfast will be ready by now.’

  Getting up, Harry strolled to the door. Just as he got there, Dandi called, ‘By the way, what was that about a letter?’

  Tensing, he cursed himself for having mentioned it.

  ‘Nothing,’ he said. ‘Just something from a friend.’

  ‘Which friend?’

  ‘Sarah,’ he muttered grudgingly.

  Dandi and Mark exchanged a surprised glance as the pieces simultaneously fell into place for them both. Neither had realized that Sarah and Harry had been friends – never mind close enough to write to each other. No wonder Harry had been behaving so badly. Sarah must have told him about the imaginary attack.

  ‘Come back,’ Dandi said wearily. ‘I think we need to talk.’

  Letting out an exasperated breath, Harry came back to his seat and slumped down, folding his arms against the denials he knew would come.

  ‘Look,’ Dandi began quietly, ‘I think we all know what’s going on here. Has Sarah been talking to you about something she thinks happened to her?’

  Harry gave a contemptuous snort.

  ‘This is really important.’ Mark’s eyes were dark with sincerity as he peered into Harry’s stubborn face. ‘You need to know the truth – not for my sake, for yours. This is obviously distressing you a great deal if it’s causing you to do the things you’ve been doing. You do know what we’re talking about, don’t you?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Harry spat. ‘It’s about you hurting Sarah and getting away with it!’

  Choosing his words carefully, Mark said, ‘Do you really believe that, Harry? Can you honestly say you think I’d do something bad to anyone?’

  ‘I know you did.’ Harry gritted his teeth. ‘Sarah told me, and she’s not a liar.’

  ‘We’re not saying that she is,’ Dandi said, holding up her hand when Harry turned to her with an incredulous look on his face. ‘Let me finish . . . We’re not saying she’s lying, but she is wrong. Something probably did happen to her and, for whatever reason, she thought it was Mr Chambers who’d done it.’

  ‘But I didn’t,’ Mark insisted. ‘Believe me, Harry. I never laid a finger on her.’

  ‘Liar!’ Harry hissed. ‘She told me.’

  ‘I love Sarah dearly,’ Dandi told him gently. ‘She’s a very special girl who I’ve known for a very long time. But, while I agree that she wouldn’t lie about something like this, I do think she made a mistake. She’d been drinking that night, you see,’ she went on, careful not to sound too condemnatory, ‘and the alcohol twisted everything up in her mind. Now, I know this because we had a long talk and there were certain things she said that made no sense. She’s going to feel terrible when she remembers what really happened. How much worse will she feel when she finds out what you’ve been doing? It’ll just add to the guilt. Do you understand what I’m saying?’

  Harry didn’t answer. He couldn’t. It sounded too reasonable – too possible. But he wouldn’t betray Sarah by admitting that – he just wouldn’t!

  ‘I think you know in your heart that Dandi is right,’ Mark said now. ‘Neither of us blames Sarah. We care about her and feel sorry that things worked out the way they did. But she’s got to come to terms with things in her own way, however long that takes. All we can do is wait, and be ready to talk if she ever wants to.’

  ‘Can I go now?’ Harry was perilously close to tears.

  ‘Do you understand what we’ve said?’ Dandi asked. ‘And can we trust you to give Sarah the time she needs to sort this out, without making things worse by spreading rumours that will ultimately hurt her?’

  Swiping at his runny nose, Harry leaped to his feet. ‘He’s already done that!’ He pointed an accusing finger at Mark. ‘He’s the bad one, not her!’ He ran to the door then, sobbing loudly as he yanked it open.

  ‘Harry, come back,’ Dandi called, going after him as he ran out into the hall. ‘We need to sort this out.’

  ‘Leave me alone,’ he screamed back over his shoulder. ‘He should have gone and she should have stayed! I hate him, and so does Sarah! Just leave me alone or I’ll tell everyone what he did!’

  ‘Harry!’

  ‘Let him go,’ Mark said, closing the door as Harry raced up the stairs. ‘Give him a bit of time to calm down. He’s a smart kid. He won’t do anything stupid.’

  When all was quiet, Vinnie stepped out from the shadow of the grandfather clock standing against the wall beside the dining room.

  Peering up the stairs, he squinted thoughtfully, wondering who the ‘he’ was that Harry had been shouting about. The ‘he’ who should have gone while Sarah stayed. Had she remembered what had happened and told Harry? If so, Harry had obviously just told Dandi, which meant that the police would be here before too long, and Vinnie would have to make himself scarce.

  Glancing around to make sure that no one was watching, he darted across the hall and raced up to Harry’s room.

  Harry was on his bed, his knees drawn up to his chest, his eyes red from crying.

  ‘Who were you talking about down in the office just now?’ Vinnie demanded, his voice low and urgent as he closed the door.

  ‘N-no one,’ Harry stuttered, fear making him stumble over the words. ‘They were asking me if S-Sarah had been in touch, but I said no.’

  ‘Don’t lie to me!’ Reaching down, Vinnie grabbed Harry’s hair. ‘I want to know who you were talking about, and if you don’t tell me I’ll rip your fucking head off!’

  Squealing as Vinnie gave a vicious tug, Harry said, ‘It was nothing, Vinnie, honest! I was just shooting my mouth off!’

  ‘About Sarah – yeah, I heard. Now tell me the rest. Were you talking about me?’

  ‘No!’ Harry screwed his face up as he felt his scalp separating from his skull.

 
‘WHO, THEN?’

  ‘Mr Chambers!’ Harry blurted out. ‘I was talking about Mr Chambers!’

  ‘You sure about that?’

  ‘Yeah!’

  Peering into Harry’s eyes, Vinnie instinctively believed him. Letting go of his hair, he said, ‘So, what was it about?’

  Harry gulped loudly, rubbing at his sore head. He hadn’t meant to say anything, but now that he had, maybe it was for the best. Who better to give Chambers what he deserved than Vinnie?

  ‘If I tell you, you’ve got to promise not to say anything to anyone else.’

  Slapping Harry’s legs out of the way, Vinnie sat down. ‘If it’s to do with Sarah, I won’t say nothing. I just want to know what’s going on. And you’ll tell me, if you know what’s good for you, ’cos you’re not the only one who likes her.’

  Harry couldn’t dispute that. He’d seen how upset Vinnie had been when she’d left.

  ‘All right,’ he said. ‘But she made me swear not to tell anyone, so you can’t tell Pete or any of that lot.’

  ‘Yeah, yeah!’ Vinnie nodded, impatient to hear the rest.

  Taking a deep breath, Harry told him everything.

  Vinnie didn’t say a word. Staring at the floor, he digested the information and turned it over in his mind. Sarah not only believed that Mark Chambers had shagged her that night, she had reported him to Dandi, too. That was why Chambers had gone AWOL just before Sarah had left. And that was why Harry had been systematically damaging Chambers’s car since Chambers had come back.

  Vinnie couldn’t even get angry about the resulting loss of privileges, or the fact that he’d been inevitably blamed for every scratch and dent. Now the fuckers knew that Harry had been doing it, and why, they’d have to drop the punishments – and watch their backs in case Harry blabbed. It was all too perfect for words.

  Vinnie needed to think now – to decide how best to turn it to his advantage. He also needed to find Sarah, and it seemed logical that she had kept in touch with the kid, otherwise why would he go to such lengths for her?