Tainted Lives

by Mandasue Heller

  Course not! she scolded herself. He was distant because he was working all hours, that was all. He loved her deeply. He always had. Anyway, men who were cheating didn’t beg to get married. They didn’t make love with the passion that she and Vinnie shared almost every night. Didn’t act so possessively, not wanting to share their secret treasure with anyone else. And they certainly didn’t want to have babies with the woman they were cheating on.

  She stared at the name, sure that she had heard it somewhere. Then it came to her. Pam – Vinnie’s boss’s mother. She had said it when Sarah met her that time. Carina was Glen’s girlfriend.

  Sarah’s racing heart began to slow. Okay, that was acceptable. But it was still a bit weird. Why would she be ringing Vinnie if he was at work?

  She jumped when it began to ring again. And again the display read Carina. Forcing the paranoia aside, she answered it.

  ‘Hello?’

  Getting no answer, she turned and walked towards the window, thinking that maybe the signal wasn’t getting through.

  ‘Hello . . . ? Can you hear me? Okay, well, just in case you can, Vinnie’s not home. I think he’s still working.’

  Still no reply, but Sarah knew that the call hadn’t been disconnected – which, she assumed, meant that her message had been received.

  ‘Sorry about that,’ she went on, a little awkwardly now. ‘Nice to speak to you, anyway. Bye, then.’

  It felt weird hanging up. For all she knew, Carina could have been in the middle of saying something. But she would realize what had happened if she thought about it.

  Outside, the tears streamed down Carina’s cheeks as she stared at the silhouette of the woman standing at Vinnie’s window. So it was true. She had known all along that it was, but seeing it with her own eyes . . . Hearing the voice . . .

  She knew for sure now, but she still didn’t want to believe it. She wanted things to be back the way they had been.

  Snapping the phone shut when the figure moved away from the window, Carina rested her head back and wiped her eyes roughly. No more tears. From now on, she would spend her energy on preparing for the battle ahead.

  And there would be a battle when this all came out. If the baby looked anything like Vinnie, Glen was sure to demand a blood test and she’d have no choice but to agree. If it came back that he wasn’t the father, she had little doubt about the methods he would use to get the name of whoever was out of her. And the way she was feeling right now, she would gladly tell him before he so much as raised his voice, because there was no way that she was putting her neck on the line to protect Vinnie if he didn’t even have the decency to be honest with her.

  Jumping when a car pulled in behind her, its headlights glaring at her in the rear-view mirror, Carina fumbled with the keys and started the engine. Shit! That could have been Vinnie. She had to stop being so careless.

  Pulling away with a screech, she drove around the corner, her legs shaking so much that the car kangarooed, then stalled. Opening the door, she threw up on the ground. Flopping back, she ran a hand over her clammy face. This was doing her no good. She couldn’t deal with this alone.

  Killing the lights, West leaned towards Harry and looked up at the flats.

  ‘Bloody hell, these look expensive,’ he said. ‘They’re new as well. This used to be the probation office when I was on the beat.’

  ‘Sounds about right,’ Harry muttered scathingly. ‘He wouldn’t want to go too far off his usual course, would he?’

  ‘Settle down,’ West said, peering at the main door. ‘Staying here, I take it?’

  ‘Yeah.’ Harry’s jaw muscles were working overtime. ‘I might kill him if I see him.’

  West’s mobile trilled just then, signalling that a text message had come in. Flipping it open, West grinned when he saw the name.

  ‘Important?’ Harry asked, frowning, hoping it was nothing that would delay them.

  ‘Jenny,’ West told him. ‘Remember her?’

  Drawing his head back, Harry peered at him. ‘Should I?’

  ‘I thought you would,’ West said, taking another look at the flats. ‘It was because of you that I met her – in a roundabout way. Remember when you ran away and I came looking for you?’

  ‘When I was hiding out at Sarah’s.’

  West turned to look at him now. ‘So you were inside, you little shit! You said you’d slept in the shed.’

  ‘Oh, yeah, I did, didn’t I?’ Harry grinned. ‘Sorry about that, but I didn’t want to get her into trouble.’

  ‘I felt sorry for you,’ West went on, his tone accusing even as his eyes twinkled. ‘Jeez! I never thought I’d be duped by a couple of kids.’

  ‘A couple of smart kids.’

  ‘Couple of smart-arses, more like. Well, anyway, it was that night I met her. She was working with Sarah.’

  ‘Oh, that’s right.’ Harry nodded. ‘I remember Sarah telling me about her.’

  ‘Yeah, well, she lied to cover for Sarah as well, and I wasn’t best pleased at the time. But I fancied the tits off her, so I got in touch a few weeks later.’

  ‘And you’ve been seeing her ever since? Wow.’

  ‘Not exactly, no. We had a bit of a thing for a while, but we sort of split a few months later and I haven’t seen her since.’ Pausing, West smiled fondly. ‘Not until you turned up and made me go looking for Sarah, that is. To cut a long story short, I traipsed halfway across Manchester looking for her ’cos I thought she might know where Sarah is, and when I found her, she jumped me.’

  ‘Really?’ Harry laughed.

  ‘Well, not literally,’ West admitted. ‘But it was her idea to meet up again. And I think we’ll be all right this time.’

  ‘Well, well.’ Harry shook his head. ‘Talk about vicious circles.’

  ‘There’s nothing vicious about Jenny,’ West said. ‘Or you and Sarah.’

  ‘Just Vinnie,’ Harry muttered. ‘Anyway, have you thought what you’re going to say when you get inside?’

  ‘Nope.’ West shrugged. ‘I’ll decide when I see her.’ Climbing out, he shook his trousers down then leaned back in. ‘Give us two blasts on the horn if anyone turns up. I’ll be as quick as I can.’

  Sarah was running a hot bubble bath. Hearing her own mobile phone ringing in the living room, she ran to it and snatched it up. ‘Hello?’

  ‘Sarah? Is that you?’

  ‘Karen?’ Smiling when she heard her sister’s voice, Sarah sat down. ‘How are you? I’m sorry I haven’t rung, but you wouldn’t believe what’s been happening since—’

  ‘I need to see you,’ Karen interrupted, a distinct hitch in her voice. ‘Can I come round?’

  ‘What’s the matter?’ Sarah asked, sure that her sister was crying. ‘What’s happened? It’s not Mam, is it? She’s not . . . ?’

  ‘It’s nothing to do with her. It’s just . . . Oh, Sarah, I don’t know what to do. I thought I had everything worked out, but it’s all a mess, and you’re the only one I trust. I know we haven’t seen each other for years, but you’re still my big sister.’

  Frowning when the doorbell rang, Sarah said, ‘Look, someone’s at the door, Karen. Just let me deal with it and I’ll ring you right back, okay?’

  ‘Okay,’ Karen agreed, sniffling. ‘You won’t be long though, will you?’

  ‘No, I promise. You’ll be all right for a few minutes, won’t you?’

  ‘Yeah, I’ll be fine. Hurry up, though, Sarah.’

  Cutting the call, Sarah went to answer the door. She didn’t recognize the man and, assuming it was one of Vinnie’s workmates, was about to tell him that Vinnie was out, when he said,

  ‘Hello, Sarah . . . Remember me?’

  Frowning, she peered at him, then gasped with surprise. ‘The copper!’

  ‘The detective inspector now, if you don’t mind,’ he corrected her. Stepping back, he looked her over approvingly. ‘Wow, you look great. How old are you now? Eighteen, nineteen?’

  ‘Twenty-six!’ She laughed, knowing th
at he was complimenting her. ‘Come in,’ she said then, regretting it almost as soon as the words left her mouth. Vinnie wouldn’t be too pleased if he came home and found her entertaining a policeman. She didn’t know the details of what Vinnie did for a living, but she did know that he kept a gun in his jeep, so it couldn’t be entirely legitimate.

  ‘I’d best not.’ West flicked a quick glance back along the communal corridor. ‘I only came to ask if you’d agree to meet up with a mutual friend sometime soon.’

  ‘Oh?’ Sarah folded her arms and gave him a bemused smile. ‘Who? . . . Oh, God, it’s not Dandi, is it?’

  ‘Dandi?’ He frowned. Then, putting a face to the name, ‘No, no, it’s not her. It’s Harry Clark.’

  ‘Harry Clark?’ It was Sarah’s turn to frown now. ‘Are you sure it’s me you’re looking for?’

  Slapping his forehead, West said, ‘Not Clark, Shaw! Harry Shaw, as was, now Clark.’

  Sarah’s eyes widened with astonishment. ‘Harry? My Harry? Where is he?’

  ‘In the car.’ West felt a lump forming in his throat as her beautiful eyes flooded with tears. ‘He, erm, doesn’t want to see you here, though.’

  ‘Why? What’s wrong? Has something happened? He’s not had a terrible accident, has he?’

  ‘Nothing like that,’ West assured her, wondering if he had ever engendered such love and concern in one of his friends – and sincerely doubting it. ‘It’s a bit complicated, but he’s got something to discuss with you and, under the circumstances,’ he nodded through the front door, ‘we think it might be best to meet up somewhere a bit more private.’

  ‘When?’

  ‘Er, how about tomorrow?’ He was amazed that she had agreed so readily. ‘You can bring your daughter, if you want. I’m sure I could occupy her for a few minutes while you and Harry catch up and whatnot.’

  ‘Fine.’ Sarah dabbed at an escaping tear. ‘Where?’

  ‘He’s staying at a hotel in town. La Granta. Do you know it?’

  ‘No, but I’ll find it. What time?’

  ‘Ten all right?’

  ‘Ten’s fine.’

  ‘Great. I’ll meet you in the lobby and take you up. Well, I’ll see you then. Oh, just one thing . . . Do you think you could keep this to yourself? I know you’re living with someone, but I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t mention this to him. Not until you’ve had a chance to speak to Harry, anyway.’

  ‘I won’t say a word,’ she assured him. And she wouldn’t, even if Vinnie did come home tonight – which was looking increasingly unlikely. ‘Oh, God!’ she yelped, remembering that she had left the bath running. ‘I’ve got to go. The bath . . .’

  Waving, West backed away.

  Closing the door, Sarah ran into the bathroom and turned the taps off. Then, grinning from ear to ear, she undressed and slipped into the chin-high bubbles. She was going to see Harry tomorrow! She couldn’t believe it. She’d thought about him so many times over the years, wondering if he was all right – if he was alive, even. And now she was going to see him. She could hardly wait!

  Sarah didn’t hear her phone ringing and ringing on the living-room table.

  41

  Feeling sicker than he’d ever felt in his life before, Harry paced the floor, riddled with doubts over what he was about to do. Learning that Sarah was planning to marry Vinnie had completely mashed his head. What would he say to her? Would she believe him?

  Taking a deeper than deep breath when he heard West’s distinctive rap at the door, he wrenched it open.

  ‘Hello, Harry.’ Sarah tipped her head to the side. ‘Remember me?’

  He gazed at her mutely. How could he not remember her? She had been his whole world for ever.

  ‘I’d kiss your head like I used to,’ she went on, ‘but I don’t think I could reach that high. When did you get so big?’

  Pulling himself together, Harry moved towards her and gave her a hug. ‘Oh my God, Sarah, I can’t believe you’re here.’

  ‘Well, I am.’ She laughed to cover her tears. ‘And I’ve only got a few hours, so are you going to let me in, or what?’

  Letting her go, he said, ‘Sorry. Course, yeah. Come in. Where’s your daughter?’ he asked then. ‘I thought you were bringing her with you?’

  ‘I decided to take her to the nursery,’ Sarah explained, wiping her eyes with a tissue. ‘I thought it best not to confuse her. Mr West said you didn’t want me to mention this to Vinnie, and she wouldn’t understand if I said she had to lie about where we’d been.’

  ‘Good thinking.’ West nodded. ‘Sorry for putting you in an awkward position.’

  ‘No, it’s fine.’ Sarah flapped a hand. ‘She likes nursery, anyway.’

  ‘Can I get you anything?’ Harry hadn’t taken his gaze off her since he’d opened the door. ‘Coffee? Tea?’

  ‘Coffee would be nice.’

  Tearing his stare from her at last, Harry rang down for room service. Then he came to sit beside her on the couch, watching her raptly as she made small talk with West about the changes in the city centre.

  Turning to him at last, Sarah took his hand and squeezed it. ‘God, you’ve changed.’

  Blushing, he said, ‘For the better, I hope?’

  ‘You were always gorgeous to me,’ she mock-scolded. ‘But look at you now. You’re such a . . . man.’

  ‘Am I?’ Harry gazed down at himself with mock alarm.

  ‘Pack it in!’ Slapping his arm, she turned to West. ‘See why I had to look out for him? He’s an idiot!’

  Smiling, West glanced at his watch and stood up. ‘Look, I’m gonna head down to make fun of the waiters while you two have a chat. I’ll come back in half an hour – is that enough time?’

  ‘Yeah.’ Harry nodded. ‘Should be. Thanks, Tony.’

  ‘Not necessary.’ Flipping his new friend a wink, West headed for the door.

  Seeing him out, Harry saw the maid coming out of the lift. Waiting, he took the trolley from her, then slipped the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door handle. His hand shook when he poured the coffees. This was the hardest thing he would ever have to do.

  Watching him, Sarah hoped that he wasn’t going to tell her something awful – like he only had a month to live, or something. Reaching out, she brushed an out-of-place hair back behind his ear.

  ‘You look great, Harry. And I can’t get over how big you are. I was expecting my old Harry – you know? That little kid with the smart mouth.’

  ‘You haven’t changed,’ he said, handing a cup to her. ‘You’re even more beautiful, if anything. And softer . . . like you’ve found yourself and you’re comfortable with who you are.’

  ‘I am.’ Sarah smiled. ‘Being a mum helps. You lose all the anger that was eating you up when you look into the eyes of your own baby.’

  ‘Does she look like you or Pete?’

  ‘Me.’ Sarah looked down at the cup in her hand. ‘I suppose you heard what happened?’

  ‘Yeah. It must have been terrible.’

  ‘It was,’ she agreed, unconsciously turning the engagement ring around with her thumb. ‘But I had to keep it together for Kimmy’s sake. Vinnie helped.’

  ‘Mmm,’ Harry murmured disapprovingly.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ Sarah gazed at him. ‘You’re not upset with me for being with him, are you? . . . Shit! Stupid question. Of course you are. But he’s different now.’

  ‘Sarah . . .’ Harry turned towards her, his eyes dark. ‘I really need to talk to you about Vinnie. And not just about the things you know about. There’s other stuff, too . . . Stuff I’ve only just found out.’

  ‘What stuff?’ She frowned, not liking the sound of this. ‘What are you talking about?’

  Putting his cup down, Harry took her hand in his and sighed heavily, wondering how best to start.

  ‘When I came looking for you,’ he said at last, ‘I didn’t know what I was going to tell you. I just wanted to make sure you were all right – that you weren’t a mess, like I was before I
found out. But now I know you’re going to marry Vinnie, I’ve got to tell you.’

  Sarah stiffened. ‘If you’re going to tell me what a terrible person he is, I want you to stop right now, because—’

  ‘Sarah,’ Harry interrupted sadly. ‘The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but if I let you go ahead and marry Vinnie without telling you what I know, I’d never forgive myself. All I ask is that you remember how much I love you and that I wouldn’t be doing this unless I absolutely had to.’

  ‘I’ll listen.’ She slipped her hand free. ‘But I warn you now, I won’t be pleased if it’s all the same old rubbish. He’s changed – a lot.’

  ‘I’m sure you think so,’ Harry murmured. ‘But you might think differently when you know the whole story.’

  ‘I doubt it.’

  Harry wanted to be gentle, but there was no easy way of saying what he had to say, so he came right out with it. Sarah couldn’t have been more shocked if he had slapped her in the face. Standing up when he’d finished, she glared down at him.

  ‘You know what I’ve been through, but instead of being happy that I’ve finally got a chance of a good life, you’d rather tell me all this crap about my fiancé, just because he used to pick on you when we were kids. Big wow, Harry! Like you were the only kid who ever got bullied. Get over it!’

  ‘Sarah, please . . .’

  ‘Save it!’ Storming to the door, Sarah wrenched it open. ‘I thought you were special, but you’re no friend of mine. Goodbye, Harry.’

  ‘Where is she?’ West asked when he got back to the room and found Harry alone.

  ‘Gone,’ Harry muttered, flopping back down into his seat.

  ‘Did she hear you out?’

  ‘Oh, yeah, she listened. Didn’t believe a single word of it, but at least she let me get it all out.’

  ‘Well, that’s something.’ Going to the bar, West poured two stiff drinks. ‘She’ll be thinking it over now. Have faith, son. She isn’t stupid.’

  ‘I’m worried what he’ll do if she goes back and tells him,’ Harry said. ‘There’s no telling how he’ll react, and we already know what he’s capable of. Well, I do. I know you’re still not convinced.’