The Daddy Dilemma: A Secret Baby Romance

by Tia Siren

  In my eyes back then, that statement had been true. She was the first thing I thought about when I woke up and the last thing I thought about when I closed my eyes. She had been the center of my world, and I’d loved her right down to my core. If she had walked back into my life a couple years ago, I would have taken her back with open arms. It would have been foolish, perhaps, but she had my heart. I was still struggling to keep hold of it now that she was back in town.

  “I’m sure your family thinks I hired you so I could mistreat you, but I’m not like that,” I said, feeling a little defensive.

  “Relax. Don’t worry so much about them. Honestly, none of them care. I mean, I didn’t tell Hank, but I’m sure one of my sisters probably whined to him by now. Who cares what they think? I don’t. Besides, you can’t mistreat me. I wouldn’t tolerate it.”

  That got a chuckle from me. “Yeah, I get that. You Parks girls are not pushovers; that’s for sure. Your daddy raised you right.”

  She waved a hand. “Ashley just pushes and pushes until she gets her way. I’m not quite as bad as she is. I can be flexible and consider other people’s feelings.”

  I felt a little uncomfortable talking about Ashley with her sister and quickly changed the subject. There had been animosity between the two forever. I remembered consoling Ashley many times after a fight with her sister. I didn’t want to hurt Ashley and certainly wouldn’t play into Anna’s hand. She was a smart girl. I knew anything I said or did would be used against me. Hiring her had been a risk, but I wanted to help her out, and I was in a bit of a tight spot myself.

  “The farm is on a great piece of land. It would mean a lot to the growth of the town to get that property. I want to put condos on it, condos that will attract young people who want to start families here. It will be good for everyone, and it has nothing to do with what your sister did a long time ago.”

  I hoped I sounded convincing. My desire for revenge had set me down this path, but once money had gotten involved, revenge wasn’t really at the top of my list. I wanted more money, and I really wanted to build something that would change the way the town functioned.

  “You don’t have to convince me,” she said, clearly seeing right through me. “I really don’t care. The farm is just a farm. I mean, yeah, I live there on occasion, but I’m a big girl and can support myself. I only went back to help out Dad,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

  “If Tanner wanted to keep that farm, I think he would have done things a little differently. I think it’s only one person who is making the big stink about it,” I said with a grin.

  She smiled. “Yep. The same person who likes to stir up trouble that makes her out to be a hero.”

  “Now, now, I’m not here to bash your sister,” I playfully scolded. “I think her heart is in the right place, but it just isn’t going to work. I want that land, and I intend to get it.”

  “Then go get it. I’m certainly not going to try to stop you. Do I get a bonus if I help you close the deal?”

  I laughed. “We’ll see. We still have three weeks before I can make a move. Your sister may come up with a way to hold back my plans.”

  “As usual,” she commented under her breath.

  “Okay, I need to go out and check on one of the properties. You think you can hold down the fort?”

  “Yes. I can sit here in this chair and stare out the window. Got it covered.”

  I laughed. “I’ll be back around two, and then we’ll close the office for the day.”

  She nodded. “Okay. I’ll be here.”

  I left the office and picked up my phone. I called Helen’s cell to make sure she was settled in and doing okay. She asked about work, and I assured her all was well and her job would be waiting for her when she was healthy again.

  Out at the property, I assessed some minor damages due to a recent storm. There was nothing major that required immediate attention, which was good since I had just purchased this property. Once that was done, I went back to town and showed Anna how to close everything up at the office for the day. Like with the computer, she picked up on it all quickly. I’d have to be sure to watch my mouth around her, but otherwise it was looking like she might turn out to make a decent employee, and I was pleased.

  When I got home, I walked into my big house and immediately felt how empty it was. It was always empty, but today it felt lonely. I’d bought the home because it was gorgeous and I imagined it would be great for a family, but there was no family here. It was me and me alone. The furnishings and lack of pictures and personal touches in the home reminded me of just how stark it was.

  Walking to the fridge, I grabbed a beer and headed for the deck. I had a massive yard, all fenced in. The deck was huge and had a patio set and a barbecue on one side. I was ready for that family barbecue, but I would never have it if I didn’t change things.

  I wanted Jasper in my life. I wanted to watch him play in this big backyard with the mountains in the distance. Maybe he could even have a dog. He could pick his room. Mine was the master, but there were three others to choose from. The house was too big for me alone. I wanted to fill it with laughter, love, and toys that tripped me when I was walking around in the dark. I wanted a little chaos instead of the perfect home that never had anything out of place.

  I walked back into the house and drifted down the hallway, opening one door after the other. Each of the spare bedrooms was empty. I figured Jasper would like the last one I walked into the best. It had a view that overlooked the backyard, and I could imagine posters of rocks and a shelf filled with rocks he had collected on one wall.

  Ashley had to let me have a relationship with my son. I had no idea how it would work with her living in New York, but I was willing to work a little harder to pay for the plane tickets back and forth. I would do whatever it took to have a real relationship with him—except move to the city. I wasn’t built for city living. That was Ashley’s gig, even though I could tell she really loved it here.

  I let out a long breath. I had to convince her to change her mind. Jasper was mine. I would fight for him.

  Chapter 17

  Ashley

  I had a lot of reading to do, which was going to require copious amounts of coffee. Coffee and liquor. I added a dollop of Irish cream to my coffee to calm my nerves while giving me a little boost of energy. It was a complete contradiction, but I needed both to get through this next hour or so. I wasn’t much of a day drinker, but I figured it was close enough to dinner that I wasn’t breaking any rules. I had made the rule anyway, so I could certainly override it when I wanted.

  I opened the file filled with various loan documents and other information about my dad’s farm. Janna had managed to sweet talk the bank manager into giving us the paperwork on my dad’s mortgage. She’d offered to go through it all with me and apply her business sense, but I told her it wasn’t necessary. I was a little ashamed of the situation. Plus, I didn’t want to burden her. I didn’t want to make my problems her problems.

  Janna had her own life to get back to. She was heading back early tomorrow morning and had opted to stay in town at a small bed and breakfast. She said she didn’t want to intrude. I didn’t blame her for wanting to escape. I was feeling a little stir crazy as well. The house had been chaotic and this was supposed to have been a getaway for her. She deserved a little time to rest and relax before she headed back to the city and into the fray of our business.

  I took a sip of my coffee and then dragged in a long breath, preparing myself for what I was about to discover. I started with the summary page, but I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I reread it several times, making sure I wasn’t reading it wrong. It had to be wrong. There was no possible way the numbers could be right. Someone had to have added an extra zero or two. First, I couldn’t believe the land was worth that much, and second, I couldn’t believe my dad owed that much.

  “Holy shit,” I muttered as I read through each of the pages and the terms of the equity loan. Someone had tru
ly screwed my dad over. That pissed me off, but I was even angrier with my dad for not paying attention. How could he have signed the loan without reading it more carefully? He was going to lose everything!

  I considered calling Janna to come back and help me sort through everything but this was my problem, not hers. I couldn’t suck her into my family’s drama any more than I had.

  “That looks serious,” Dad said, coming into the kitchen to sit down.

  I resisted the urge to say something snide. “It is serious,” I muttered.

  He picked up a few pages, but he didn’t actually read anything. He flipped through them and dropped them back down on the table.

  “Dad,” I said in a serious tone, “look at this.” I spread my arms wide to encompass the table filled with papers.

  He shrugged. “I see it.”

  “Dad! This is bad! You owe a quarter of a million dollars!”

  He nodded, looked a little embarrassed, but said nothing.

  I put my face in my hands. I didn’t know what to say. This was unreal. He couldn’t possibly think it was just going to go away. It was then I realized that he truly didn’t care.

  “Dad,” I started again.

  “Ashley, listen. Let me explain. I know it’s bad. Trust me, I know. I don’t need you to lecture me. Remember, I’m your father. Afford me the respect I’m due.”

  “I’m sorry, Dad. I am. I didn’t mean to come off as disrespectful. I guess I’m trying to understand what’s happening here,” I said in a softer tone.

  He sighed. “Ashley, I don’t have health insurance. I thought I did, but it turns out I didn’t. I tried to buy a policy, but it was a joke. I had to pay out of pocket for my medical bills. Chemotherapy, surgery, and doctors aren’t cheap. I didn’t have a lot of options.”

  I choked back a sob. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you dealt with it all alone. Why didn’t you call me?”

  “I didn’t want to burden you. You have your own life. I knew you didn’t want to come back here.”

  “I would have come back to help.”

  He shrugged. “There were plenty of times you could have come back. You didn’t. You avoided this place like the plague.”

  He was right. I had, and I couldn’t blame him for not calling me for help. I hadn’t exactly been the best daughter. I didn’t call often and I never visited. I had all but abandoned him, assuming my sisters and brother would take care of him. I still couldn’t believe none of them had any idea of what he had been dealing with. It infuriated me to know they lived five minutes away and didn’t know he was struggling.

  “What about Hank? Why didn’t you ask him for help or at least let him know what you were facing?”

  “I don’t want to be a burden on my children. I’m supposed to help you, not the other way around.”

  “I think the whole family dynamic thing works both ways. We’re supposed to help each other,” I said softly.

  “Ashley, I’m a proud man. I hate asking for help. I probably would have been okay if that first round of chemo had worked, but hell, this damn cancer just put a wrench in all my plans.”

  I fought back tears, but it was futile. They silently flowed down my cheeks. I felt an enormous amount of guilt and pain for my own cowardice that had left my dad here all alone. He and I had a special relationship. In many ways, we were closer than him and any of my other siblings, even if I was the farthest away. I should have known something was wrong.

  I looked up at him. “I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. I had no idea. I was incredibly selfish. I should have checked in. I should have come home for Christmas. I didn’t mean to abandon you, Dad. I’m so sorry.”

  “Don’t take this all on your shoulders. It isn’t your burden. I made the choices knowing the risks. Don’t take this on. I don’t need my daughter bailing me out of trouble. This is my mess,” he said with firmness.

  A thought crossed my mind. “Dad, you know I wasn’t running from you, right? It was the idea of being trapped. If I could have you, the farm, and the city all in one bundle, I would love it.”

  He chuckled. “I don’t think it works that way. You have to make some compromises. I know why you ran. I was young once. You get that wild streak from me,” he said with a grin. “I knew you had to figure things out for yourself. When you do, you will find what makes you happy. Whether that’s here or in New York is for you to decide, but don’t you dare let me influence your decision. You make it based on what you want, not what you think is best for me.”

  I wiped my cheeks. “Thank you for being so understanding. I’m here now. I’m going to figure this out. Don’t you worry about anything except getting better. You beat the cancer; I’ll handle the financial side of things. There are programs that will help with the medical bills. I’ll get in touch with some folks and see what kind of help we can get.”

  “You do whatever you think is best, but don’t do it for me. I’ll be okay, Ash. Really, I will. I don’t need this big ol’ farm and the big house. I never intended to live out my days here alone. Your mom and I had always assumed one of you kids would take over and we would travel or retire to some condo. Kind of ironic that’s what will be built here when the farm is gone,” he said with a small smile.

  “No. I am not going to let that happen. I will fight that tooth and nail,” I said vehemently.

  He smiled. “I’m going to go out and play with Jasper. I sure do like having him around. He is a joy to have, and just seeing him makes me feel a little better every day.”

  “Good. Go relax. I got this,” I told him with a confidence I didn’t feel.

  He leaned down and gave me a hug around my shoulders. “Thank you, Ashley. I appreciate you trying, but please don’t get too caught up in this. You have to take care of yourself and your son. This is my problem.”

  “I know, Dad.”

  He walked out of the kitchen and through the screen door. Once he was gone, I went to my room and grabbed my laptop. I needed to figure out what kind of help I could offer. I refilled my coffee and went a little heavier on the Irish cream this round. It was about to get real.

  I pulled up my bank information and checked my savings account first. Then I checked my business accounts. I was still not going to make it. I checked the clock and knew it was a little late, but I needed to call my money manager. I had invested money a few years back and left it in his care. He always sent me updates, but I never paid attention. I figured if I did know, I would get comfortable. I didn’t want to know how much money I had. When it came time to send Jasper to college or for me to retire, I would be pleasantly surprised—I hoped.

  My dad knew I was good with money management. My siblings had always spent money as fast as they got it. I had been the hoarder. Whenever one of them needed a loan when we were kids, they all came to me. It had been a running joke in the family.

  When I got out on my own, I had been extremely frugal. I think I lived off the bare minimum for years. Having a baby without any financial help was not easy, but I was proud to have managed to do it without going into horrible debt. I bought with cash only for most things. I had two credit cards but rarely used them. When I did, I paid them off. My credit was stellar. If needed, I knew I could probably get a loan to cover the cost to keep the farm.

  My biggest problem was deciding what to do. How much money did I want to invest in a farm I wasn’t going to live on? My hopes of buying a home for Jasper and myself in New York would be dashed if I did this. I could make more money and invest more aggressively. Jasper and I could live in my loft a few more years.

  I heaved a heavy sigh after getting off the phone with my money man. He was going to have to do some checking and promised to get back to me tomorrow or Monday.

  I could wait. In the meantime, I needed to spend time with my dad and maybe try to get some shots that I could sell. Every dollar was going to count at this point.

  Chapter 18

  Brock

  It had been oddly quiet the past few days. I hadn
’t heard from Ashley, and there hadn’t been any sneak attacks. I kept expecting to see her come charging through the door of my office. I should have known hiring Anna to work for me would be an Ashley repellent. Those two were like oil and water. They had never gotten along, and it seemed like things had only gotten worse. Having Anna in my office meant Ashley would never stop by for a quick round of sex in the back room. Bummer, but probably for the best.

  She and I weren’t together. I couldn’t get used to seeing her on a regular basis. It would only bring that old heartache to the surface. I couldn’t let myself fall for her again.

  Who was I kidding? None of that mattered now. It was too late. I missed her, even if it meant her yelling at me for something. I liked seeing her, challenging her, and making her so mad her cheeks flushed. Ashley had matured into a beautiful woman. I loved that she was confident and had done what she wanted to do. She hadn’t let anyone stop her. Of course, I would have liked to have been by her side as she climbed the ladder of success, but I would have probably held her back in some way. The fact that she had managed to do it all while being a single mom was even more surprising.

  Dammit! Why did she have to be so amazing?

  This morning, she broke the silence. She called while I was still been in bed, and I almost didn’t answer the phone. The persistent ringing and the possibility of a client wanting to look at a property was what drove me to roll over and answer the thing. I was glad I did. The moment I heard her voice, my heart kicked up a beat.

  She wanted to meet at the park at eight in the morning. That seemed a bit early for a Saturday, but I was certainly not going to deny the woman. Her voice had been friendly and even chipper. I didn’t second-guess why. My body was too excited at the prospect of seeing her. I made sure I had on new underwear. I had no idea what she had planned, but if she wanted a quick roll in the grass, I was up for the task. Hell, I was always up for the task when it came to her.