Unashamed

by M. Malone

  table of contents

  Back Cover

  Warning

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  About the Authors

  Copyright

  UNASHAMED

  Book 3 of The Shameless Trilogy

  He is the thing that goes bump in the night. He is a liar, a protector...a killer… He is Noah Blake.

  ...And I love him.

  Everything I thought I knew about the night that changed our lives has been turned upside down. I have no idea who to trust, but the one thing I do know is that I am his...And I will do anything to protect him.

  (The Shameless Trilogy unfolds over the course of three books. Book 1, Shameless will be followed by Book 2, Shameful and Book 3, Unashamed.)

  THIS IS BOOK 3 IN A TRILOGY

  You’ve read Book 1 (Shameless) + Book 2 (Shameful) right?

  Just checking…

  chapter one

  * * THIS IS BOOK 3 - You’ve already read Book 1 (Shameless) and Book 2 (Shameful) right? Ok, just making sure :)

  The best snipers knew that the secret to the perfect shot was all mental. Great marksmanship required mastery of your own senses. Even in the middle of a firefight, you learned to shut out everything but the sound of your own heartbeat. There was a moment when everything was quiet, all was still and you had complete and total focus.

  As Noah Blake surveyed the remnants of his destroyed office, his mind blocked out everything but the task at hand. He couldn’t think about the fact that Matthias had been beaten almost to a pulp. He had to temporarily forget about Oskar’s dislocated shoulder and that Jonas had been gassed and could possibly lose his sight.

  He definitely couldn’t remember the image of Lucia sobbing on the bed after almost being kidnapped or the fact that if he’d been sixty seconds later, she’d have been lost to him. Noah tensed and pushed the mental image into a closet and locked the door.

  Not going there.

  “Jonas, keep rinsing your eyes. The doctor is on his way.”

  His friend gave him a thumbs up and splashed more water in his eyes as he stood over the sink in the kitchen. Oskar sat at the counter, resting his arm on the surface while holding an ice pack to his shoulder. He’d probably be back to normal before any of the others. Noah had already popped the arm back in socket but it would be sore as hell for a few days. The doctor was going to give him hell for doing it himself, but Oskar had been suffering and they’d all had something dislocated at some point. He wasn’t going to leave his friend in agony when he could fix the problem. Too bad he couldn’t do something to help the others. He hated feeling so helpless.

  Noah knelt next to where Matthias was stretched out on the floor and placed another ice pack against his jaw. His face had already swollen beyond belief, the eyelids so puffy his face was unrecognizable. It was a miracle the kid was still conscious. Noah suspected it was pure force of will because Matthias would hate the idea of being unconscious and at the mercy of others.

  “I wish you weren’t so fucking stubborn, kid. You need to be in the hospital.”

  “No way. Not putting you at risk.”

  His words were muffled and slurred, but Noah could easily understand him. Mainly because he’d known what Matthias would say even before he spoke. With how paranoid the kid was about his information being in the system, he’d have to be literally kissing the Grim Reaper before he’d consent to being hospitalized. Looking at his swollen, distorted features, Noah honestly thought he wasn’t too far from that scenario. He looked bad. Really bad.

  “Fuck putting us at risk. This is your life, Matthias. We can find a way to keep the heat off of us. We’ll say you were mugged or something. Shit.”

  “No hospital. Please.”

  It was the please that did him in. He could feel the waves of panic coming off the other man. Nothing short of knocking him out completely would get Matthias through the doors of a hospital, and Noah didn’t have the heart to put him through any more traumas.

  “Doctor is here.”

  He looked up with relief at the sound of Ryan’s voice. The only stroke of luck so far had been that Dylan and Ryan hadn’t been in the office when they’d been hit so they were available to help out. Well, maybe it wasn’t luck. The asshole who’d taken out half his team had probably known damn well exactly how many people were in the building. He seemed to have planned it all out. The only thing he hadn’t counted on was Lucia.

  Noah glanced over to the couch where she’d been sitting for the past ten minutes. She’d been inconsolable at first, clinging to him with all her strength, but now she was disturbingly silent. He’d tried to talk to her but was met with a blank stare each time. He wasn’t sure if she was going into shock but in the midst of all the other physical injuries, he’d had no choice but to just keep her in his eyesight while he tried to take care of everyone else.

  Jonas had told him that she’d refused to run. It enraged him that she'd put her life in danger, but he couldn't deny that he was also proud as hell that she was so courageous. Not that he wasn’t going to paddle her ass later for that stunt.

  “Where should I start?” Dr. Breckner’s eyes flared slightly when he took in Matthias’s appearance. He moved forward without waiting for an answer.

  Noah stood back so the doctor could examine him. The doctor had been their on-call physician for years, but they’d never had to call him for anything this severe. It was usually stab wounds, cracked ribs, or the rare graze of a bullet. Matthias looked like he was sporting all of the above and then some.

  A young woman, probably only a little older than Lucia, approached her. “Hi, my name is Robin. I’m a nurse with Dr. Breckner. Are you injured?”

  Lucia shook her head. The nurse glanced over at Noah uncertainly. He really wanted to argue, but something about the set of Lucia’s mouth made him rethink trying to force her just then. Noah motioned for Robin to assist Jonas.

  “Jonas, there’s a nurse here to take a look at your eyes.”

  His friend blinked rapidly but gave a thumbs up to show that he’d heard. Apparently he still couldn’t see anything. Fuck. The nurse approached, speaking in low tones. Satisfied that the medical professionals had things in hand, Noah approached the couch where Lucia sat staring at the wall.

  “Lucia, you really should let the doctor examine you.”

  She didn’t move or acknowledge his words in any way. Noah put his arm around her shoulders and she flinched. His heart sank. God, she looked so small and vulnerable sitting here all alone, but it looked like she didn’t want his comfort. Not that he blamed her. If he hadn’t been so damned insistent on going to see Ian tonight then he would have been here to protect her. It was the same thing over and over again.

  He just kept letting her down.

  Then his mind flashed to Lucia curled up on the bed sobbing her heart out and his blood chilled for a totally new reason. He had no idea what that bastard had done to her before he’d gotten there. Had he … touched her? She was showing some of the signs of sexual assault, especially not wanting to be touched.

  Dylan waved at him, trying to get his attention. Noah thrust his hands through his hair roughly, taking out his frustration on the strands. The pain centered him, bringing him back to the present. He had a team of people counting on him to get them through the storm and to safety. A team that included Lucia. Their safety
was paramount so he had to get his head out of his ass.

  “I’ll be right back, princess.” He murmured the words to her without expecting a response so he was shocked as hell when she nodded.

  “Please tell me you have some good news,” he growled as he approached Dylan.

  The other man blew out a breath. “I found a place that’s big enough. It’s not exactly up to our usual standards but maybe that’s a good thing in this case. It’s underground.”

  Noah looked around at the marvel of glass and steel that had been his pride and joy and a symbol of everything he’d overcome. In the end, it had been a weakness because of all the glass and how open it was. When they rebuilt, he was going for bulletproof glass for sure. In the meantime, going underground was perfect. It wasn’t going to look like much but it would be a rock solid hideout while his team recovered and he spent some time in the trenches to smoke out the bastard targeting them.

  Lucia. Targeting Lucia. Because he couldn’t forget for one moment what this was really about.

  “Then underground we go.”

  Lucia’s eyes followed the movement of the light the doctor flashed in them. She blinked to clear the halos from her vision before allowing him to listen to her heart. The nurse had already taken her blood pressure. All the while Noah watched from the background like a silent sentinel, looking like he would slaughter anything that so much as startled her.

  For once, his watchfulness didn’t annoy her. It was actually comforting to have someone else taking charge because she was operating strictly on autopilot. Oxygen in. Oxygen out. Blink. Swallow. Smile. She could only hope her expressions and reactions were appropriate because inside she was spinning out. The whole world as she knew it had been scrambled and then put in a blender.

  How could she care about anything when it was possible she’d lost hold on reality?

  She’d heard him. She’d heard her brother’s voice in that room and nothing would ever be the same again.

  Lucia glanced around frantically, afraid that the others could hear her thoughts or somehow read the truth on her face. She took a deep breath, but nothing could stop the slew of memories. A fun-filled day at Coney Island. Rafe smiling at her over funnel cake. Rafe on the ground covered with blood. Years of pain missing half of her heart.

  Then a voice in the dark that she’d thought never to hear again.

  Lucia had to restrain the urge to start screaming at the top of her lungs. She couldn’t show that she was freaking out because Noah wouldn’t understand. Her breath started to come faster despite trying to control it. It was all too much and she couldn’t hold it in. The voices were too loud; the slide of fabric over her skin was too rough. Even the air smelled strange.

  Everything was all wrong, and she feared if she made one wrong move she’d crack into a million pieces.

  Being in a new place didn’t help. The past three hours were a blur, but somehow Noah had gotten them all moved to a new location; some dark lair underground with bare walls and no furniture. Someone with a truck must have come as they were leaving because the couch in the middle of the room was the same one she’d been sitting on at the old place. How that was possible she wasn’t sure, although apparently anything was possible with enough money.

  “You don’t have a concussion, Miss DeMarco and your vitals are strong. If you need something to help you sleep, I can give you a shot. Is there any chance that you could be pregnant?”

  Her eyes shot over to Noah in surprise. His stance didn’t change but there was no hiding the slight tension around his eyes. Even under these strange circumstances, Lucia blushed. After everything they’d done to and with each other, it was ridiculous that this could make her blush.

  “No, I’m on the pill.”

  “Excellent. I can give you—”

  Lucia held up her hand. “I don’t need anything.” Although she knew she wasn’t going to sleep now or anytime soon, the last thing she wanted was something that would mess with her mind. She needed to keep her mind sharp. It was hard enough already to determine what was real.

  The doctor smiled in that detached way all medical professionals must learn in school. “Okay. Just keep the lacerations on your feet clean and dry. The stitches in your right foot will start to dissolve within a week.”

  Lucia had already forgotten about the cuts on her feet. The memory of running across glass was muted by everything that had come afterward. What were a few slices on her feet compared to what the others had gone through? She climbed down carefully from the makeshift examining table Noah had set up in one of the spare rooms. Out in the hallway, she paused at the door of the room where Matthias rested while the same nurse who’d tried to help her, Robin or something like that, monitored the equipment hooked up to him.

  “He should be in the hospital,” she muttered, feeling guilty as hell.

  She’d truly thought Matthias was dead after watching that brutal fight. That he’d managed to hold his own was a miracle. Although it had been a shock to see him in that full-on, aggressive mode. It had made his behavior at the fashion show seem like child’s play in comparison. To think, she’d been shocked then just to see him handle a gun.

  Noah followed her as she turned away and walked back toward the main room. “Are you sure you don’t want the sedative, Lucia? You’ve been through a lot tonight. You were almost kidnapped.”

  “I’m aware, Noah. I was there, remember?” Lucia immediately regretted her sharp tone, especially when she saw his wince.

  The silence between them was fraught with all the things she couldn’t say aloud. So many questions. Why did you leave me alone? Who keeps trying to kill me?

  Am I losing my mind?

  He was trying so hard to be considerate with her and she was being so bitchy. But her mind was a mass of feelings and some of them weren’t fair to Noah. Part of her was angry with him because he hadn’t kept her safe even as she realized that was unfair. He wasn’t infallible and if he’d been there, he’d likely be hurt just like the others.

  “Sorry, I’m just wound up from everything.”

  “No, I’m sorry,” Noah mumbled. “I just don’t want you to suffer needlessly. You’ve already suffered enough. All I’ve ever wanted was to protect you. But I can’t even do that.”

  He walked past her toward the kitchen. The new place was laid out completely differently than the old one. It was only one level with exposed brick walls and no windows. It was dark and cold and ugly. Fitting for how she felt. Lucia sat on the couch, happy to have this little bit of familiarity in the middle of everything. She watched as Noah waved two men through carrying a mattress. It was mind boggling to think of all the details he’d had to handle in order to get them set up in a new place so fast.

  Thankful that he had it all under control, she burrowed deeper into the cushions of the couch, resolved to ignore it all. She didn’t want to think about Matthias fighting for his life in one of the spare bedrooms or Jonas with his head wrapped in gauze, looking like a mummy.

  Seeing the physical evidence of tonight was just one more thing to make her feel guilty. Her friends, her family, were in various stages of injury because of her. Whoever was targeting them was fixated on her. She’d started digging into the past and sifting through secrets that were apparently more dangerous than she could have imagined. Now they were paying the price.

  An hour later, Lucia lifted her head and listened. It was noticeably quieter. Ryan came out of one of the rooms and nodded a silent greeting. She waved and then walked in the other direction. When Noah had been in full on alpha wolf mode earlier, she’d heard him barking out orders, specifically telling Ryan and Dylan that they needed to stay on site until further notice.

  When she passed Matthias’s room, the steady beep of the machines followed her down the hall. Behind the last door on the end, Noah sat on the bed with his head in his hands. He looked up when she entered the room.

  “Your things are in the bathroom. I had them bring everything on the counter.
”

  “Luckily I didn’t have much at your place. What happens to the rest of your stuff?”

  He shook his head slightly. “I have someone working through the night to box up everything. We’ll have it all within twenty-four hours.”

  That was good. She hadn’t wanted to think about him losing everything he owned just because he’d had the misfortune of helping her.

  “Lucia, if something happened…” He stopped and wiped a hand over his face. “You can tell me anything. I’m not sure how long he had you in there before I found you—”

  His voice cracked slightly and Lucia rushed forward and wrapped her arms around him.

  “Noah, I’m fine. He didn’t do anything. I mean, not what you’re thinking. You got there in time.” She repeated it several times because it seemed to soothe him.

  Guilty that her silence had fostered his fears, she continued to stroke his hair gently. She suspected that Noah hadn’t enjoyed a lot of softness in his life, and he seemed to drink up her affection like a thirsty plant. She would never want him to suffer any longer than necessary worrying that she’d been hurt or assaulted.

  A huge yawn broke the silence and took Lucia by surprise. Despite everything that had happened, she didn’t actually feel tired. The adrenaline in her system kept her on edge, making her cranky and fidgety. However her body seemed to be on a completely different schedule than her mind because she was suddenly so exhausted she wasn’t sure she had the energy to even undress for bed.

  Noah, as always, seemed to know what she needed before she did. “Raise your hands, princess. Let’s get you out of these clothes and into bed.”

  She let him undress her, quiet and docile as a child. When he’d finally stripped her out of the shirt and jeans, she climbed between the sheets, letting out a deep sigh when her face met the pillow. It smelled like him, like Noah, and she realized they must have moved the mattress and pillow with all of the original bedding still on it. She wasn’t sure why that struck her as so funny but suddenly she was laughing so hard she couldn’t breathe.