Unashamed

by M. Malone

  Waiting to see what it was that she needed, he kissed her gently, letting her take the lead. It went against every fiber in his body to do so, but he could do it. Do it for her.

  She pulled back with a frown. "Noah, why aren't you kissing me?"

  "I thought that's what we were just doing, princess."

  She shook her head. "No, that's not how you kiss me. When you kiss me, it drowns everything out. And all I can think about is you, and me, and us, and getting naked as quickly as possible."

  Oh, yeah; real helpful. She just had to go and say the naked word. One word from her and his dick was ready to play. The blood rushed to his cock like the damn thing was on fire.

  "Sweetheart, you've been through a lot. So maybe we should take it slow?"

  Lucia gave him a coquettish smile that told him she knew exactly what she was doing to him. "And if I don't want to take it slow?"

  Noah licked his lips. What was she playing at? What the hell was going on with her? At the same time, all he wanted to do was nuzzle her, inhale her scent, and see if he could get her to make that sound at the back of her throat that she always did when she was about to come. He was desperate to hear it again. But he knew something was off.

  "Sweetheart, you know how much I love you. And you know how much I miss you." Lucia pressed against him and they both moaned. "You can feel how much I've missed you. But I want to make sure you're doing okay before we move forward. I don't want you to retreat from me again. It scared the shit out of me."

  "I'm not retreating. I just know what I want. I've missed you. Everything was a shock and I didn't know how to deal, but now I’ve sorted it all out. Coming here, coming home in essence, it's making me better. I just want you to help me feel better. Feel more alive, more like myself." She rocked her hips slightly, and Noah swore he saw stars.

  "Lucia —"

  She nuzzled into his throat, her lips softly teasing and playing over his Adam's apple. "Noah—" she mimicked his tone.

  "Sweetheart, this is not the best —"

  She cut him off effectively by delving her hand into his jeans and wrapping her delicate hand around his erection.

  Oh shit. It was as if all higher brain processing had been turned off, all functioning ceased. Lucia snapped open the top button of his jeans, and the zick-zick-zick as the zipper went down only ratcheted his arousal even higher. She had him out of the confines of his jeans and boxers in seconds.

  "Lucia. This isn't a good idea. Anyone could see us up here."

  "So what if anyone sees us? I need the man I love inside of me right now. I don't want to wait. I don't want to go back home. I want to enjoy the view. I want to dig my nails into your back as you slide into me. I want to feel alive, Noah. Help me feel alive."

  Her words tore through him. He knew what he should do. He knew what would probably be better for her. The problem was, that knowledge was somewhere way in the recesses of his mind. Because, well, he was a guy, and she had her hand on his dick. So that meant he didn't have two brain cells to rub together at the moment, let alone the cognitive willpower to stop this.

  "Sweetheart. I love the way you do that."

  Fuck, did he love it. Her hands were so soft and warm. And they certainly felt better than him making good use of his right hand in the shower every morning. But he had to at least try to be the reasonable one.

  "Let's at least go back—"

  She squeezed him and his knees buckled. "I told you, I don't want to go to the car. I'm ready here. I'm wet, Noah. You want to feel how much?"

  All thinking stopped. All he knew at that moment was he needed to be inside her. Needed to feel her warmth and her slick heat as she wrapped around his dick, squeezing, pulsing, and milking him. Her dress rode up. And his hands slid up her knees, widening her thighs the farther he went. With his thumbs, he traced the edge of her panties, and Lucia threw her head back.

  "Oh God, Noah."

  Hearing her moaning his name, all low and sultry like that, made him jerk. The only thoughts his brain offered were, Inside. Now. Need. Yeah, full sentences were so not his thing at the moment. She was wet. So fucking wet. Both thumbs snuck past the edge of her panties, one went straight to her clit, gently smoothing over it, as he dipped his head and took her mouth. As he kissed her deep, licking into the warmth between her lips, his other thumb found her wet center and slid in easily. She rocked her hips into his hands, questing, searching.

  God, he needed this. They needed this. Maybe they could find their way back to each other if he could just wrap himself around her, hold her tight and keep her safe. And keep her loved. If he kept her loved, they'd both be able to stop worrying.

  Lucia was impatient. With her hands, she shoved at his jeans, pushing them down over his hips and his ass.

  With a curse, Noah drew back, hooked his whole hand into her soaking panties, and tugged. The ripping sound barely registered as it mixed with the sound of her panting and his groan. In seconds, his cock was nudging her slick entrance. He held the base tightly and gently rubbed against her. Covered himself with her slick juices. Shit. So fucking good. She was so wet. So ready.

  "Noah. Please. I need—"

  She didn't have to ask twice. He slammed home.

  Lucia tossed her head back, exposing her throat. He leaned over to brush his lips along the column of her neck and sucked gently. Even as one hand scooped under her ass to keep her stationary as he made love to her, the cold of the unyielding stone against his arms made him flinch but he didn't care. All he wanted was to drive home. To keep feeling her slick heat tightening around him. Fuck, how had he lasted for more than a few hours, let alone days without this?

  Lucia shoved her hands in his hair and held him to her. With a frustrated groan, she yanked at her clothes, struggling to tug down the strap of her sundress.

  Against her neck he whispered, "You want my mouth on you? You want me to suck your nipples?"

  "Yes, Noah. God, yes."

  He shifted her up and back until her head and shoulders were just off of the stone platform, giving him the angle he needed to dip his head and take her into his mouth. The moment he did, she moaned low and her inner walls tightened around him. He switched to her other breast, sucking her through the thin material and fabric, while his thumb teased her other nipple, pinching lightly. All the while, he drove deep, claiming her once again as his. His cock sliding and retreating, sliding and retreating. Every time he bottomed out, she made this low keening sound at the back of her throat like she'd just discovered bliss.

  And then he felt it. Her hands tightened in his hair, and she held him to her breasts as she screamed out, "Oh, my God, Noah. Yes, right there. Right there. Right—" Her climax crashed into her, and her whole body locked around his like a vise. She was never letting him go.

  "Oh shit. Fuuuck, Lucia." With three quick jerks, he was following her. Their climaxes mingled so that he couldn't tell where one of them ended and the other one began. Exactly the way it should be.

  "I love you," he whispered.

  "And I love you, Noah Blake."

  An hour later, Lucia stood in the shower and let the hot spray pelt her skin. Had they really just done that? The blush on her cheeks mingled with the hot water.

  Public sex.

  She'd never done anything like that in her life and as reckless as it had been, she couldn’t bring herself to regret any of it. She could still feel Noah's hands gripping her hips. The bruising sting of his kiss. He’d been completely out of control, and she’d loved every minute of it.

  She'd certainly taken him off guard. Truthfully, she had taken herself off guard. But considering what she’d seen that day, a little uncharacteristic behavior was to be expected. It had been such a shock to see those sunflower seeds there. Despite what she’d told JJ, she hadn’t actually thought she’d find any evidence of Rafe just by haunting the places they’d used to go. But this was something she couldn’t ignore. Anyone else would think she was insane, but she just knew how those seeds h
ad gotten there. And they’d looked fresh. He'd been there. Recently. Rafe was alive.

  Or you're crazy.

  She let the thought slide over her, turning it over in her head. Maybe she was crazy. Maybe she was seeing things that weren't there. Her behavior up in that clock tower was reckless at best. Everything she’d done lately was reckless and out of character. The only thing her digging had accomplished so far was to get her nearly killed, more than once. Not to mention the danger all of her friends were in because of her. Matthias, Jonas, and Oskar were going to be suffering for weeks because of her. All of this was because she was asking questions ... about Rafe.

  She didn’t want to think she was losing it. She'd heard his voice. But you didn't see his face. No, she hadn't. But it was possible.

  The memories had been coming back a little more every day. She remembered so much more about what had happened before the gunshot that changed everything. When Rafe had gone around the back of the car, he’d taken his shirt off and put on something else, then put the shirt back on. Was it possible that he’d been putting on a bulletproof vest? There was no way to know for sure, but the fact that it was possible was just one more puzzle piece in a jumble of others that she had to make sense of. But no matter how she spun things, it was possible that he was alive.

  But, if he was alive, then what was he doing? Why was he trying to hurt her?

  He hasn't actually tried to kill you.

  Maybe they had been looking at everything the wrong way. Had he just been trying to take her? Why? And where the hell had he been all this time? She leaned against the wall and tried to drown out the doubt and worry.

  Noah knocked on the bathroom door. "Hey, princess? You locked the door. How am I supposed to join you if you lock me out?"

  Lucia knew full well if he wanted in, he'd just take the damn door off the hinges. But he was giving her some semblance of privacy. "Sorry, I just needed a few."

  And man did she. Her shoulders, her hips, and her ass were all abraded thanks to that stone platform Noah had put her on to screw her senseless. No, that wasn't his fault; that was yours. She’d just been so happy to find those sunflower seeds. So happy to know that maybe she wasn't crazy, she’d wanted to celebrate. She’d wanted to feel Noah.

  “You can come in,” she called out.

  “Okay, give me a minute. I’m just going to check in with Jonas so we won’t be interrupted.”

  Lucia smiled at that. She figured he was trying to make her laugh by mentioning the other guys’ tendency to interrupt or walk in on them accidently.

  He was trying so hard, but no matter what she did she couldn't claw herself out from the darkness. She just kept hearing Rafe's voice over and over again. All these years later, clear as day. Calling her Lulu. And of course every time she looked at Noah, she saw Rafe. So that made things worse.

  But now, now that he might be alive? She needed to find out. Where he'd been, what he had been doing, why he left her, left Nonna. It wasn’t going to solve everything, but at least if she could get some proof she wouldn’t have to see that look on everyone’s faces. The look that said they thought she was losing her mind but were too polite to mention it. Maybe they all thought this was just an overdue breakdown that she should have had right after her brother’s death.

  The only person who was fully in her corner was half-crazy herself. JJ was always ready to run in like a crusader. Maybe in this instance that made JJ a little off her rocker.

  But what if you're right? What if it was Rafe? That was the thought that dragged her out of the darkness. If her brother was alive, she was going to find him. Even if she knew everyone else would think it was crazy.

  The slap of cold air on her backside brought her out of her thoughts. She hadn’t even heard Noah unlock the door.

  “Is everything okay? You’ve been in here for a while.” He picked up the loofah sponge that she’d been using and dragged it gently over her arms and then down her back.

  Lucia smiled up at him. “Just thinking about everything. Plus the hot water was helping soothe all the muscles I strained while having sex against a brick tower. Remind me not to do that again.”

  Noah’s hands followed the path of the sponge. The gentle touch sent shivers up and down her spine. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the sensation of being warm and naked with him.

  “I would point out that I tried to be responsible and stop things. But I was forced by a saucy vixen to do dirty things in public against my better judgment.”

  Lucia raised an eyebrow. “Against your will, huh?”

  “Well, you were saying dirty things like I need you inside me, Noah and I’m so wet for you, Noah. What red-blooded man could resist that? There is no willpower in the world that could withstand that kind of sorcery.”

  She chuckled at his disgruntled expression. “Does that mean you don’t want me to use my witchy powers on you again? Because I could leave you to shower alone. But that would be a shame because I really wanted to taste this.”

  He sucked in a hard breath when her hands circled him, tugging on his hard length and playing with the soft skin of the head.

  “Oh, you should definitely do what you want to do. I’m already under your spell after all. What’s one more thing?”

  Lucia nodded her head slowly and then sank to her knees before him. His eyes got dark as he watched her greedily. She took him in her mouth, happy to lose herself in bringing pleasure to her man instead of worrying about things she couldn’t control.

  chapter five

  Noah knocked on Nonna’s front door. It occurred to him that he probably should have called first but as soon as he’d had the idea, his feet had started moving. Honestly, he wasn’t even sure what he was going to say. He was completely winging it here. Lucia would be pissed if she knew where he was, but he needed to talk to Nonna. He was that worried, and Lucia’s grandmother was quite possibly the only one who could help.

  Footsteps sounded inside and a second later the door opened. Nonna was wearing a beautiful rose-colored sweater and had her hair twisted back into a low bun. Although he knew objectively that she’d aged over the years, to him she would always be the same. Elegant. Angelic. One of the only people who’d looked at him and seen more than what was on the outside.

  As usual, when she saw him she smiled like she was getting a visit from a celebrity. Noah grinned back, thinking as he always did how lucky he’d been that day that Rafe had dragged him here for dinner. Rafe had done more than mentor him; he’d saved him in every way that mattered. When a man got used to having a family that treated him like this, it was no wonder he’d lay down his life for them.

  “Noah, come in. Don’t just stand outside. I don’t know why you don’t use your key. You’re family.” She welcomed him with a hug and he stooped down slightly so she could kiss his cheek.

  Her protestations made him smile, although he would never tell her why he didn’t use his key. The friend he’d tasked to watch over Nonna had been strangely closemouthed about her activities over recent years, and Noah had a sneaking suspicion that it was because they were more than just friends. Noah didn’t have any true family anymore. Nonna and Lucia were the closest things to it he had, so he valued them highly.

  The last thing he needed was to walk in on his pseudo-grandmother in a compromising position. An unfortunate mental image popped into his mind, and he shut it down immediately. Noah shuddered. There were just some things you couldn’t unsee.

  “I never know where my key is, so it’s just easier to knock,” he lied, feeling no shame for it. If he believed in God, he was sure any benevolent being would forgive him an untruth under these circumstances.

  He followed her into the interior of the house and instantly felt at home. It was a talent that Nonna DeMarco had, making visitors feel like family within seconds of entering her home. He glanced around at the old furniture and handmade throw blankets covering the back of the couch. Nonna DeMarco despised waste of any kind so everything in her home was
either handmade or secondhand. It was the most comforting place he’d ever been in.

  Not sure how to bring up the reason for his visit, Noah allowed her to fuss over him, making him a cup of coffee even though he’d already had some. By the time the coffee was ready, he’d had a chance to think about how he wanted to bring up Lucia’s recent behavior in a way that wasn’t going to alarm the older woman.

  When they were settled on the couch, Nonna raised her eyebrows at him. If he’d been younger, it was the kind of look that would have made him think he was in trouble for something or other.

  “What?”

  “Just wondering when you’re going to tell me the real reason why you’re here. I know it’s not just to visit.”

  Feeling like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he smiled. “Maybe I just wanted to check on you.”

  “Hmm. You know I’m fine.”

  Noah sighed. There was no point in trying to ease her into it. Just like when they were young, Nonna had radar for when one of her ‘children’ needed something. “You’re right. I’m not just here to chat. It’s Lucia. She isn’t doing well.”

  Immediately Nonna’s face lost its teasing smile. “She’s been through so much. I think the stress is finally catching up with her.”

  Noah didn’t want to voice his true thoughts, that this was so much worse than stress. Lucia had lost all grip on reality. After days of wondering what was going on with her, she'd finally confessed why she'd asked to go to the clock tower and what she'd found there. She was convinced her brother was alive, which didn’t make any sense considering that she’d watched him get shot. Noah had shot him point blank. He’d searched for a pulse before taking Lucia away to safety.

  There was no one outside of Lucia or Nonna who wanted Rafe to be alive more than he did, but it just wasn’t possible. Her insistence on something she knew to be impossible worried him more than anything else could have.