Unashamed

by M. Malone

  Noah slid a glance to Rafe. "Maybe it is time to call a truce. We’ll sort everything out as we go." He held out his hand.

  For a long moment, Noah was pretty sure Rafe wouldn't take it. Then his once-mentor looked between him and Lucia and slowly took Noah's hand.

  chapter eleven

  Lucia hadn’t thought a truce meant they’d all be friends, but she hadn’t expected it to feel as dangerous as when they all had guns on each other either. She glanced around the living room of Blake Securities’ new office with trepidation. Rafe stood on one side with her and JJ while Noah and the rest of the guys stood on the other. When she caught JJ’s eye, her friend tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace.

  I’m sorry, she mouthed. Once they’d decided they would talk, Noah had insisted that everyone be present. Apparently he didn’t trust anyone to leave and possibly inform anyone else of their whereabouts. He’d loaded her and JJ in the van with him and Matthias and they’d all rode over in silence. She hadn’t seen Rafe get out of a car but he’d ended up in the garage with them when they arrived. Clearly her brother had the silent but deadly ninja thing down pat.

  “So maybe we should start with the most important thing,” Noah began when no one else seemed inclined to speak. “Someone is trying to kill Lucia and you claim it isn’t you.”

  Rafe glowered. “Of course it’s not me. I thought it was you. I’ve been trying to get her away from you to keep her safe.”

  “I’ve spent the last six years trying to keep her safe in your memory. Why would I kill her now?”

  “Orders. Greed. Because you’re a sonofabitch. How the hell should I know?” Rafe crossed his arms.

  “I am but she makes me better,” Noah countered.

  Lucia softened hearing Noah’s gruffly muttered declaration of love. With a man like him, this was the equivalent of him taking out a billboard to announce it to the whole city. JJ nudged her in the side with her elbow and Lucia finally let go of the smile she’d been holding back.

  “God, this is ridiculous. You’ve got my baby sister shacked up here with you and smiling like some lovesick airhead.”

  “Hey, that is unnecessary,” JJ cut in.

  Jonas glared at her. “Maybe don’t antagonize the psycho who could decide to switch sides and kill us all at any moment, hmm?”

  “Hey, he wasn’t gunning for me, big guy. Maybe Lucia and I should just step aside and let you all fight it out.”

  Jonas looked like he wanted to say something else but Lucia held up a hand to stop the conversation.

  “This isn’t helping anything. None of this stuff really matters. I don’t believe that my brother was gone for years only to come back to kill me. That doesn’t make any sense.”

  Rafe smiled at her. “Glad to see you haven’t completely lost your mind lately.”

  “Oh no. You don’t get off so easily,” Lucia jabbed him in the chest with her finger. JJ’s gasp behind her would have been funny in any other situation. They were all treating Rafe like a ticking time bomb, but once it had sunk in that it was truly Rafe, her big brother, her defender, she wasn’t afraid of him.

  How could she be afraid of him when she remembered him holding her after she had a nightmare? Rafe was the one who’d told her not to let mean girls or clueless boys get her down. He’d told her that she was special and that she could be a fashion designer if she wanted. That she could do anything.

  And she’d known it was true because she’d have her big brother helping her no matter what.

  “You don’t get to just show up out of nowhere and pretend like nothing has happened. You died, Rafe.” Her voice broke slightly on the last word, and for the first time she saw a crack in his stark exterior and a little bit of the brother she remembered peeked through.

  With a muffled curse, he grabbed her and hugged her. Although she heard Noah and the guys behind her shouting, she didn’t care. She clung to him just like she had when she was a little girl. And when his hand landed on the back of her head, the heavy weight of it both familiar and foreign, it felt like her world was breaking apart.

  “I never should have left you. Should have taken you and Nonna with me, we could have run together.” Rafe sounded almost as tortured as she felt.

  “Why didn’t you? You just left us. How could you do that?”

  “I didn’t want that life for you, Lulu. Never that. You deserved so much more. I thought I could watch over you from afar and then you could have all the things you’d dreamed about. Going to design school and having your own fashion company. I wanted that for you.”

  Lucia sobbed against his neck, not even listening at this point. She heard what he was saying, but didn’t he know those things hadn’t mattered once he’d gone? She’d rather have had her beloved brother a million times over than anything else.

  “Don’t leave me again. Promise me.”

  When she pulled back, she was shocked as hell to see tears on her brother’s face as well. He blew out a breath before glancing over at the others. She turned too and found the whole group staring at them. Noah didn’t exactly look happy and she knew there would be a lecture coming later about not trusting Rafe so easily, but she didn’t care.

  She had her brother back.

  “I’m not leaving this time, I promise. I’m going to find a way to end this thing for good. It’s the only way you’ll be safe.”

  Noah finally spoke up. “Any ideas about how to do that?”

  “A few. Are you going to trust me to execute without slipping a knife in your back?”

  Lucia tensed in his arms, and Rafe glanced down at her with a slightly annoyed look on his face. It was so him, so pre-tragedy Rafe, that despite the seriousness of the situation she laughed.

  “Threats of violence make you laugh now? Maybe you have been good for her.” Rafe glanced over at Noah, and after the longest, tensest pause ever, extended his hand.

  Lucia could almost feel everyone else in the group let out a collective sigh of relief. The men might not like each other or trust each other but they’d work together. For now.

  “I don’t think there’s any doubt that she is the one who has been good for me,” Noah said as he accepted the handshake.

  Rafe smiled again but this time, it looked predatory. “Finally something we can agree on. Now let’s get to work.”

  Noah watched Rafe leave with a sinking feeling. Correction, he watched Lucia watch Rafe leave with a sinking feeling. Her eyes followed her brother’s form as if she was afraid she’d never see him again. A valid fear, all things considered.

  “My brother’s really alive,” she whispered.

  Noah wasn’t sure if she knew she’d spoken aloud, but he’d had just about enough of talking about Rafe. It was so odd to go from thinking of him as a friend and mentor to a potential enemy, but there was no other option to consider when Lucia’s life was on the line.

  He believed Rafe when he said he hadn’t been trying to hurt her. His only concern at this point was whether Rafe might put Lucia in danger inadvertently trying to achieve his goal. Whatever that was. They’d hashed out quite a bit but the one thing Rafe had made sure to avoid was his current status; if he was still undercover with the FBI, what was he working on and did it relate to ORUS in any way? So many questions and Rafe had always been a secretive bastard. They wouldn’t get anything out of him unless he wanted them to.

  However, there was one thing Noah knew for sure; Rafe loved Lucia. People changed, sure, but not that much. The old Rafe had structured his entire world around the little sister who he loved more than his own heartbeat. Six years wouldn’t change that.

  “Yes, he is. And we’re going to figure this all out. Rafe will work on his contacts and we’ll continue to do everything we can to keep you safe. I might be out of ORUS but that doesn’t mean we don’t still have our ways of keeping tabs on them.”

  Lucia leaned against his chest, taking Noah by surprise. She’d been standoffish, cold, since they’d gotten home. She was ann
oyed that he’d made her wear the wire and then even more annoyed that he’d used it to ambush her brother. But this one simple action showed him that all was right in their world. Or it would be.

  Eventually.

  “Promise you’ll be careful. I made Rafe promise not to leave me again but I need you to do the same thing. Despite what you think, I need you just as much Noah. When Rafe died … when we thought he’d died, it was the worst pain I could imagine. But I survived.”

  She stood back and looked him in the eye as she spoke and Noah had never been more fucking proud of her. This was no scared little girl; his princess was a survivor. Beautiful, strong and stubborn as hell. God, he loved her. She put her hands on his face, bringing his attention back to her words.

  “I survived because I had you. You were the one who kept me anchored. That’s always been you, my port in the storm. But if anything ever happened to you, I don’t think I’d survive it.”

  Just like that she fucking slayed him, absolutely tore his heart out with her sweet words and those big, beautiful eyes that saw straight through to his soul. This woman was his everything and for her, he’d do the impossible. He, Noah no-name Blake, who’d always been only two steps ahead of a bullet at any time, would live forever. He’d cheat the Reaper; he’d say however many Hail Marys it took; but he wasn’t leaving Lucia alone in this world.

  There were going to be quite a few things he’d have to accomplish to give her that peace of mind but somehow, he’d make it happen.

  “Nothing is going to happen to any of us. I’ll make sure of it.”

  Lucia didn’t look convinced but she didn’t press the issue. Instead she wrapped her arms around him in a quick hug and then glanced behind her where JJ was making uncomfortable conversation with Jonas.

  “Now I need to have a long overdue conversation with my best friend. I think she deserves some explanations after being held against her will for the past hour.”

  Noah observed the body language going on between Jonas and JJ. They both looked pissed but … intrigued. Oh no. The last thing he needed was a member of his team getting freaky with Lucia’s best friend. He’d be right in the middle of the drama if anything went wrong, and he had no patience for that. He made a mental note to tell Jonas to sniff elsewhere as soon as he could get him alone.

  “Good luck with that,” he said finally.

  While Lucia walked over to talk to her friend, Matthias approached with a smug look on his face. Noah had only seen that look a few times, so whatever the kid wanted to tell him was probably going to be good.

  “Why do you look like you just got finished creating the perfect computer wife?”

  Matthias scowled. “I have good news, actually.”

  “You put a tracker on Rafe?”

  “No. I wish. None of us can get close enough to the bastard to even try that.” Matthias touched his jaw absently, probably remembering what happened the first time he’d tried. “I was able to access information from the time period in question.”

  “Do I even want to know how many laws you broke to do that?”

  “Not really. Anyway, everything supports Rafe’s story. All signs point to him being an agent, although I can’t tell which agency. Maybe CIA?”

  Finally something was going their way. Noah took a deep breath. He’d made promises to Lucia. But even though she’d be pissed if she found out he was investigating her brother, it was necessary. He would rather have her angry than hurt. Besides, hopefully she’d never have to know. As long as Rafe was telling them the truth, Noah was happy to work with him if it meant Lucia was protected.

  “At least he was honest about that,” he mumbled.

  Matthias laughed. “You know, as weird as this is going to sound, it was kind of nice to actually talk to him when he wasn’t trying to kill me. The dude is a beast with the hand to hand. I’ve never seen anyone move so fast.”

  Noah laughed too. After all the tension lately, it was good to have something to smile about again. Only Matthias would think it was fun to talk to a guy who’d beaten him to hell.

  “He was a legend in ORUS. Even if I’d been paired with him for twenty years I don’t think I could have learned everything he had to teach.”

  “Well, now you can. Seems like everyone’s getting a do-over, huh?” With those words of wisdom, Matthias walked off, leaving Noah thinking about possibilities.

  chapter twelve

  "Let me guess: you're mad."

  Lucia turned to Noah and shrugged. "Oh, you think I'm mad?" She unhooked her earrings and slid them into her jewelry box before turning to face him. "First, you had me wired and I didn't know it."

  "Lucia, you agreed to wear a wire."

  "Yes. I did. But I thought I would have a say when that wire was going on." She unhooked her necklace and stared at it for a moment, then sighed. "Let me guess. This has a GPS tracker and a transmitter?"

  At least, he had the good grace to look sheepish. "Look, once you said you were okay with wearing a wire, I had that made. I would've loved to give you advance warning, but there wasn't going to be time. And we had no way of knowing when Rafe was going to try and find you."

  "So you thought he'd try on my birthday?"

  Noah shrugged. "Well, before he died, he never missed one. Your whole family made birthdays a big deal. Plus, the club was crowded enough, had multiple exits, and is pretty hard to defend. If I were him, and I wanted to make a play for you, I would've chosen a place like that. So, sorry but it needed to be this way."

  She planted her hands on her hips. "Fair enough. I get why you couldn't wire me up the traditional way. But that doesn't explain why you didn't tell me. You gave me a gift. At least what I thought was a gift."

  He frowned. "I'm sorry. I figured if you knew you would inadvertently draw attention to it. It's not like you're trained for these types of situations. People telegraph all kinds of things that they don't mean to. It was easier not to tell you."

  She threw up her arms. "This is what I mean, Noah. We have had this conversation a million times. But you keep making decisions without consulting me. You don't give me the opportunity to do things on my own. To figure it out. It's like you don't trust me. And that hurts."

  "Lulu, I trust you with my life. I've never had anybody love me before. And yes, I can certainly do better. Yes, I need to figure this shit out. I've never had a real relationship before. There are women I've dated for covers, there are women who were convenient, but I've never been with anyone I wanted to be with before. I have no idea what I'm doing."

  The honesty in his eyes was her undoing. She didn't want to just let it go, but she knew how hard this was for him. "Well, trust is part of being with someone. We need to be partners. And I need to trust that you're not going to spring some random shit on me."

  "Can you maybe trust that if I do, there's a reason behind it? And not assume that I don't believe in you or that I'm just trying to fuck with you, or make your life more difficult? Or treat you like a child?"

  She opened her mouth to retort, but he had a point. He was right. She and Noah had had that dynamic for so long, she also didn't know how to deal with him in the context of a relationship. "Okay, I can try to do that. We've just had a certain dynamic for a very long time."

  He nodded. "Back then, my only job was to protect you. Not protect your feelings, not explain things to you, or check with you. But then, when everything started, that shifted. And it's hard for me to adjust. I'm sorry. I'll work harder on that."

  She licked her lips, and then nodded. "I'm sorry too. Tonight was like exposing a raw wound."

  "Yeah, tell me about. It was one thing to see him in video footage, but it was another thing entirely to see him in the flesh. After all this time. That's going to take a long time to get used to."

  She chewed her bottom lip. "Do you really think he would've shot me?"

  Noah laughed. "Absolutely. Somewhere nonlethal, probably more like a graze really. But it would've hurt, and you would've done what
he wanted."

  She winced. "My own brother would have shot me?"

  Noah strode over and covered her hand with his. "He would've done it to protect you. Hell, I would've done it to protect you. If I could've shot you to get you out of the way, so that you didn't risk your life for him, I would've done it."

  She lifted her eyes to meet his gaze. "Do not put me in the middle, Noah. Don't make me choose between you and Rafe. I can't do it. I love you both."

  Noah's jaw worked. "You mean like he did with you?"

  She jutted her chin out. "And I chose you. I wasn't willing to leave you. And I'm not willing to let anyone hurt him. Nor am I willing to let him hurt anyone else anymore. We're going to have to work together."

  Noah nodded and stroked her cheek gently with his thumb. "Lucia, I promise you no one's going to get hurt. Except for the people that deserve it. We're on the same side. And just so we're clear, I've missed him too. He was my family too."

  Her eyes stung and she rapidly blinked back the tears. "I know. You're okay though?"

  "Yeah, I'm okay. Though …" He inched closer and slid his arms around her lower back. "I have some ideas on how you can help me feel better."

  She couldn't help the giggle. "Why do I get the impression that if you had your way you'd forever keep me in this room naked?"

  "Because that's a fabulous idea."

  Noah wasted no time getting her naked. But then had Noah ever wasted time? Hell, half the time he didn’t bother to even get her completely naked first.

  His kiss was searing. His expert tongue sliding into her mouth, claiming her and with each stroke making her burn. His big hands slid over her heated flesh and Lucia sizzled with each caress. Would she ever get enough of this?

  Lucia rocked her hips upward and reached for him, sliding her fingers though his hair. "Please hurry."