"You sure you want to do this?"
I shot him an evil look, which explained my response.
"Got you!"
Amaiya was my only child, and I needed to know if that boy was who he said he was. I didn't feel bad because Mama knows best.
HASSAN
That bitch ass nigga that I called my lawyer kept playing with me. Every motion that I suggested he file, he found some damn reason to tell me why it wasn’t going to work. See, this bitch ass nigga didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about because I had gotten many niggas freed on some of those same motions.
I waited in line to call him. See, I was paying this nigga, and the last time I checked, he was working for me. I went to see my counselor so I could get an attorney-client phone call. Those calls were supposed to be private, but I didn’t trust those motherfuckers. Ain’t shit private up in the joint.
“Hello, Hass, my man. I was expecting your call.”
“Listen up, bro. I sent you some mail, and you ain’t respond to me. I want to know what the hell is going on. Why you ain’t tryna take the case back in front of the judge!” I yelled into the phone.
“First, you need to calm down. We’re not going to get anywhere with you yelling like that.”
“Fuck that. This is my fucking life we’re talkin’ ‘bout. The only place I’m tryna go is out of these motherfuckin’ walls.”
“Hassan, you’re making it hard for me to represent you.”
“Nigga, listen up. You sat back and watched those crackers sentence me to some shit I told you I had nothing to do with. If you fucking ask me, I think that bitch, Destiny, fucked you real good, and in return, you sold me out.”
“You are very delusional, my man. You need to get it together. If you don’t, you won’t be walking out of those doors anytime soon.”
“Nah, nigga. Fuck you. You are fired. Now watch me work. I’ve got this shit. Your punk ass wasn’t a good lawyer any motherfucking way.”
I slammed the phone down in that pussy nigga’s ear. I was mad as fuck. That nigga wasn’t trying to help me.
On my way back to my unit, a tear fell from my eye. I was hurting deep inside. I couldn’t believe that prison was where I ended up. Fucking with the wrong bitch.
***
I was up early. I wanted to be one of the first ones in the law library. Starting today, I was my own fucking lawyer. I was gonna file my appeals and get my black ass out of this hellhole.
As soon as they opened the door, I pranced inside and jumped on the law library computer. I was gonna file the motion that was related to my charges. The most difficult charge was the attempted murder on that bitch. The other two, I knew they didn’t have any evidence on me. I also knew that I pled out, so it was gonna be a struggle to get out of those charges. Nonetheless, it wasn’t impossible. When I was in the free world practicing law, I had seen plenty niggas make it home after being sentenced to life. Shit, I was determined to be one of those niggas. I logged on and then put my skills to work. After all, I was Hassan Clarke, the attorney that can make the impossible become possible.
JOSIAH
Instead of taking Amaiya to the mall like I told that bitch I would, I decided to take her to the crib.
“Where we going?” she asked when I turned off of White Plains Road.
“I thought you wanted to come chill wit’ yo nigga for a little while?”
“Uhh… I do, but my mom thinks we’re going to the mall.”
“Listen, babe, your mother doesn’t have to know what we’re doing. I’m your man, and I will take good care of you.” I reached over and rubbed her hand.
“What if she calls me? What do I tell her?”
She was starting to piss me off with all of that little girl shit! “Listen, if you don’t want to be my bitch, just let me know so I can drop your ass off back at your house, and you can be that little girl your mama wants you to be,” I snapped.
“Don’t talk to me like that! I ain’t no little girl. I just didn’t want to get grounded.”
“You’re right, and I’m sorry. I just got a little upset because I want to spend some time with you. I want to hold you and let you know how much I love you.” I rubbed her hand, trying to get her to relax a little.
“So, do you want to go the mall, or do you want to come chill with me for a little while? I’ll get you home before it gets late.”
“No, we can go to your house.”
I let out a long sigh. I had no idea how much longer I was going to be able to play the role of the doting boyfriend.
***
I sensed her uneasiness once we got to my door.
“You ain’t got nothing to be scared of. I ain’t goin’ hurt you.” I put my arm around her as I pushed the door open.
I then closed the door behind us. “Sit down, babe. I’ve got to piss real quick.”
I glanced back at her as she sat down on the sofa. That little bitch had no idea what I had in store for her and her mother. Easy, not just yet, I reminded myself.
“Do you want something to drink?”
“Yes, some juice.”
“Juice? Haha. I only have liquor. Come on, just a sip. I promise you’ll feel relaxed.”
I handed her a small glass of the drink I made her while I was in the kitchen.
“If you say so. Don’t you try anything, boy.” She laughed and poked me.
“Girl, you’re tripping.” I smiled at her.
I watched as she took the first sip and made an ugly face.
“You wuss, drink some more,” I teased her.
She took a few more gulps, and the glass was empty. I took the glass out of her hand and walked back into my small kitchen.
I watched as she looked at me seductively. That was my cue to go in for the kill. I started kissing on her, and she started kissing me back. I wasted no time and started rubbing on her breasts.
"Bae, stop. No, I don't think..."
"Shhh. Relax. Daddy’s got you." I stripped her clothes off and started sucking on her breasts.
"Oh, bae. I can't," she moaned. I continued kissing her passionately. I decided not to waste any more time. I pulled out a condom, put it on my erect dick, parted her legs, and slid inside of her moist pussy.
"Aargh,” I yelled out as I ripped through her young, tight pussy.
"Stop it. It hurts," she barely managed to say.
I paid her no mind. Instead, I continued to hit those walls. I won’t lie; the pussy was so tight that it sent chills through my body. I held her close to me while I tore that pussy up. The enjoyment didn't last long though. Images of my dead mother invaded my mind. I started to grind harder and harder. I couldn't control myself. I wanted to hurt that little bitch the same way I was hurting inside.
"Stop! You are hurting me. Noooo!" Her cries interrupted my actions. I looked at her and saw the look of desperation on her face. I snapped out of it fast. Now wasn't the right time. The police would be all over me if anything happened to her right now.
"I'm sorry, boo. I don't know what happened. I’m so sorry." I held her tight as she sobbed. I used all my might and mustered up some tears also.
"Babe, I'm so sorry. I love you so much. I just got carried away," I bawled.
"Oh my God. What time is it? My mom is gonna kill me." I could tell that the drink was wearing off. "What did you do? Did you put something in my drink?"
"What the fuck you mean? What kind of dude do you think I am? You think I have to drug you in order to fuck you? Man, you have no idea how many bitches try to throw pussy at me on a daily basis. I turn that shit down because I love you." I was visibly upset.
"I’m so sorry. I just can't believe we had sex. I just wasn't ready."
"There you go again, acting like a little girl. You have a man now, and fucking is normal between couples. Bottom line is, if you ain't fucking me, someone else will. Get dressed so we can go."
"Oh my God. I’m bleeding!" she yelled, showing me the blood on her fingers.
"M
aybe it's because you were a virgin. You can wash up in my bathroom." I wasn't trying to be mean, but shit, the bitch was acting like it was the end of the world.
I was ready to get this bitch out of my place. I had some planning to do. I had to be careful not to get caught. Prison wasn’t on my to do list. At least not now anyway.
DESTINY
It was getting dark, and Amaiya still hadn’t walked her behind through the door. I called her phone a few times, and it went to the voicemail. My nerves were on edge, although I kept trying to tell myself that I was overreacting. She was no longer a little girl, and in another few months, she would be eighteen and off to college.
I walked downstairs and poured myself a glass of wine to relax my nerves. I then began to pace back and forth. This was her first time out of the house after dark without me. I heard my phone ringing upstairs. I dashed up there hoping that it was her ass calling me. I was disappointed when I looked at the caller ID and realized that it was Mama.
“Hello,” I answered with a little more attitude than I’d intended.
“Well damn, you alright?”
“No, not really. I’m worried about Amaiya.”
“What you mean? Did something happen?”
“She went on a date with her boyfriend, and she was supposed to be back, but she isn’t. I’ve been calling her phone and no answer.”
“Des, you need to calm down. You’ve had that poor child locked up in the house all these years, and she just got a little bit of freedom. Amaiya is a good girl, and you need to ease up a little on her.”
“Are you serious? Not the sergeant that made sure I was in the house by seven every night. She’s my baby, and I just don’t want anything to happen to her.”
“Times have changed. Amaiya is a lot smarter than you give her credit for. Now stop worrying about her before you get sick. You know how that sickness is. You start worrying and you start breaking out,” she warned.
“You’re right, Mama…” Before I could finish my sentence, I heard the door opening. I hung the phone up without saying bye and dashed down the stairs.
Amaiya walked through the door. I waited for her to lock it, and then I spoke.
“Where in the hell have you been? I’ve been worried sick about you all damn evening.”
“Damn, Ma, we were at the mall. I lost track of time. I’m sorry.”
“Sorry my ass. Have you been drinking? You smell like alcohol.”
“No, I wasn’t drinking. Ma, you’re trippin’.”
I looked into her eyes and sensed that something wasn’t right. I took a step toward her and grabbed her arm.
“What the hell were you doing then? You look tired, like you were sleeping.”
“Ma, you’re hurting me. Let me go. You need to stop acting so overprotective. I’m not a little girl anymore, so stop treating me like one,” she said with an attitude.
“You listen to me, little girl. Don’t you raise your voice at me ever again in my house. Just because you’re smelling yourself, it doesn’t give you the right to talk to me like that. Let this be your first and last warning,” I snapped.
“Why are you acting like this? Ever since you and Dad broke up you’ve been nothing but angry. It’s like you blame me for what he did to you,” she cried.
“I am not going to allow you to turn this around on me! This is not about your father or more. This is about you, little girl. You’re not going to disrespect me, and you damn sure ain’t goin’ run up in here all hours of the night. So I suggest that you let that little boyfriend of yours know that.”
“I’m not you, and Jose’ is nothing like daddy. He doesn’t call me names or disrespect me with other chicks.”
I walked away from her and headed into the kitchen. I wasn’t no fool. She had been drinking, and even though I didn’t have any proof, I had a feeling she was out fooling around with that boy. I knew from the minute I laid eyes on him that he was bad news. I needed Spencer to hurry up and let me know what he had found out, if anything!
***
That night, I couldn’t fall asleep for anything. The situation between Amaiya and I rested heavily on my mind. I loved my child, and I wanted her to be happy, but I wasn’t going to sit back and watch her get caught up with a street dude. He didn’t look like he had a job or even a high school diploma. If he thought that he was going to knock my baby up, with his old bum ass, he needed to re-think that because it wasn’t gonna happen. Not over my dead body.
***
“Babe, you good? You were tossing and turning all night long.”
I sat up and faced him. “Spencer, Amaiya didn’t come in ‘til late last night, and when she did, I smelled alcohol on her breath. I don’t trust that boy with her.”
“Babe, you’re worrying yourself too much. You have to trust her; you know?”
“I trust her. It’s him I don’t trust. I know how these little niggas are.”
“I will go ahead and run his prints as soon as I get in the office, and I’ll talk to my partner down at the station to see if he has any history of breaking the law. I think that will put your worries to rest.”
“Thank you.” I rubbed his hand.
“While you’re up, we have a wedding to plan, lady.” He poked me in the side.
“I know we do. I plan to get a wedding planner this week.” I sighed. “I can’t believe I’m trying to walk down the aisle for a second time. I had sworn that I wasn’t doing that shit anymore.”
“Well, I’m happy you decided to give a nigga a chance. I love you, woman, and I will protect you until I take my last breath.”
I loved when he spoke to me like that, and ninety percent of me believed him. However, that ten percent kept reminding me that he was a man, and they could not be trusted. I didn’t say anything because I vowed not to let my doubts and insecurities fuck up my relationship with him. I was willing to give him a chance, but at the first sign of trouble, I swear, I was going to get rid of his ass.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Hassan
I filed an ineffective assistance of counsel appeal. The basis of that motion was that my attorney was so incompetent that he essentially denied my 6th Amendment right to a fair trial. This occurs almost exclusively in criminal defense cases, and the standard for the appeal is very high - courts are extremely deferential to the competency of attorneys and maintain a strong presumption that the lawyer's assistance was within professional. That doesn’t apply to me because that fuck nigga was bullshit. Now that I thought about it, I think he just decided to defend me so he could help bring me down. Now that I was out of the way, their law firm was doing great.
Also, they didn’t have any evidence against me. I knew for a fact that I was nowhere near Imani’s apartment when she was killed. A matter of fact, I remembered where I was when she was killed. I was determined to prove to the court that Destiny had set me up. This was my only chance to get out of prison. Now, on the Corey’s tip, shit, I was drunk when they said I confessed. They would have to prove that I was drugged by my desperate ex-girlfriend. I intended to show the court that either Destiny had set me up by herself, or they both were in cahoots, and Destiny double crossed Imani.
***
Man, I was mad as hell. It was my day to do commissary, and that bitch, Tanya, still hadn’t put the money on my book. I should’ve followed my mind and not gave that bitch my money to hold on to. I should’ve given it all to my mama. I tried to call that hoe last night, and she answered the phone and hung up without accepting the call. I was furious. That shit had never happened before, and that had me thinking that the hoe had another nigga at her house. That white bitch knew better than to play with me. I was giving her ass another hour, and I swear that money better be on my damn account.
It was minutes to three, and my account still was on empty. I walked into the phone booth and dialed that hoe’s number with the last few dollars that I had left on the phone account.
“Hello,” she answered.
“Yo, wh
ere the fuck you been? I’ve been tryna reach you. You know today is Wednesday, and I need to go shopping.”
“I was busy, and why didn’t you go shopping then?” she replied sarcastically.
“Bitch, with what money? Did you forget that you have my damn money so you can pay my lawyer and put money on my books?” I yelled.
“That money is gone. I paid your lawyer and used the rest to take care of your fucking child. You remember him, don’t you?”
“Over fifty grand is gone? Bitch, what the fuck you mean? I swear, you better have my damn money. I swear.”
“What you goin’ do, honey? I just told you, that money is gone. Matter of fact, you need to get one of those prison job in the kitchen or something. I’m gonna need child support soon.”
“Tanya, bitch, stop trying me! You better bring yo ass up here Saturday, and that money better be on my books this evening before count time.” I slammed the phone in that hoe’s ear.
I can’t believe what I just heard. See, that bitch knew that if I was out there, she wouldn’t be talking to me in that manner. Then, the bitch’s gonna tell me that she used my money to take care of that little bastard. Truthfully, I don’t give a damn if that motherfucker ate or not. Shit, that bitch wanted him, so she better find a way to feed him. I was so aggravated that my head started to hurt. I walked out of the phone booth feeling lost. I got back to my cube and jumped in my bed.
I was feeling weak and nauseous. I knew I hadn’t been taking my damn pills, and I needed to. I couldn’t risk losing my life before I got out and paid those bitches back.
JOSIAH
I was tired of playing that ‘in love’ shit with that little bitch. What made me angrier was when she told me that her bitch ass mother didn’t want her to hang out. I knew then that the bitch wasn’t really digging me, and it was a front when she acted like she liked me when I was there for dinner that day.
A lot of shit has been bugging me lately. That nigga, Hassan, had been on my mind heavily too. Last I heard, that nigga was somewhere upstate. I tried to ask Amaiya ‘bout her pops, but she barely even talked about him. I knew that if I needed to get to that dude, I was going to have to do it on my own. I knew that my ex-grandma and auntie would know exactly where he was. I didn’t fuck with them after I found out that nigga wasn’t my daddy, but I saw his mama the other day. That old bitch still referred to me as her grandbaby, so I knew she wouldn’t hesitate to give me the info on that nigga.
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