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Wolf Mated (Beta Wolf Academy Book 1)

Page 13

by JJ King


  “I never knew my dad.” The words slipped from my tongue, unbidden, and set my heart racing. I closed my eyes tight and took a deep breath to steel myself.

  This was it. I was apparently going to share.

  I kept my head on his chest and let the words spill free and wondered how far I would let myself go. The fear was there, already, the pressure building steadily.

  “My mom died when I was little. She was sick for a long time.” Of silver poisoning, I thought, but didn’t say.

  "I'm sorry," Lucian murmured in a voice that told me he really was sorry. He understood loss, deeply. "So, who raised you?"

  I chewed on my lip, remembering the other girls, their mothers, my friends. "I have a large extended family who all chipped in. I guess you could say I was raised by a village of women."

  "No men?" Lucian wondered aloud, unknowingly pushing me to make a decision.

  I blew out a deep breath, not sure what I would say, or how I would explain.

  "There were men in my life," I confessed, and swallowed bile at the thought of them. "But they were controlling and manipulative, and I got as far away from them as possible, as soon as I could."

  I blew out a quiet breath of relief. It was the truth, all of it, just not the entire truth.

  Lucian stiffened and pulled back just far enough to look down at me. His eyes flashed with anger and his eyebrows pulled down. "They hurt you?"

  His righteous fury on my behalf chased away more of my demons.

  I traced the lines of his frown with my thumb and leaned up to press my lips against his. "They're gone now and I'm here, with you."

  And Dimitri, and Chase, I thought silently, but kept my musings to myself. I knew my guys had talked about me and about our situation, but I wasn't sure what conclusion they'd come to and if it jived with mine.

  "I promise to tell you all of it, every single twisted detail, as soon as I'm ready." I laid my palm over his heart in promise and lifted for another kiss.

  My mouth fit to his, then opened to his tongue, which flitted out to taste and tantalize as his fingers moved to the back of my neck and into my hair to cradle my head. He angled me, nipping at my lip playfully, then losing a growl that sent shivers up my spine when I nipped back.

  My hands slid from his chest to his waist and dipped beneath his shirt to find hot flesh and sculpted abs. Joy radiated within me as he tasted, and I touched.

  A throat cleared just behind us, making me jump back. I spun to see who’d snuck up on us, expecting in the pit of my stomach to see the man from the night before.

  Chase and Dimitri stood several feet away, eyebrows knitted and lips tight, as Lucian pulled away, leaving me standing in the middle of an emotionally charged foursome.

  Chapter 18

  “Well, this is just fucking awesome.” Chase leveled his gaze past me, on Lucian. “We talked about this. What were you thinking?”

  I blinked in surprise at being ignored altogether and turned as Lucian’s eyes darkened with frustration and a shadow of guilt. Confused, I turned back to Chase and noticed Dimitri avidly avoiding my gaze, his dark features twisted with guilt, too.

  “What exactly did you guys talk about and decide, without me?” I asked as my own guilt began to rise. I pushed it back down, reminding myself that I’d made no promises to any of them and that I’d been as clear as possible with my feelings.

  Lucian stepped up beside me, shoulders squared, and voice pitched low with emotion. “I was thinking that both of you have had a chance to explore your connection with Lexi, but I haven’t. Old Ones, Chase, come on! It’s not fair. I’m a part of this, too. If she’s going to choose between us, she has to spend time with each of us first.”

  My mouth fell open.

  “What?” I whispered as my mind spun in circles that came back to the same horror.

  They wanted me to choose?

  Before I could shake my head, scream my arguments into the forest, they all began to speak at once. I looked helplessly from one to the other as their words pierced the fog that seemed to surround me.

  “I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t stop thinking about her,” Chase yelled, bunching his fists by his sides as he stood before Lucian. “Lucian, I can’t—”

  He trailed off, shaking his head with wide eyes that glinted with tears and desperation.

  Lucian swallowed hard and looked as if he were going to acquiesce. My heart leaped into my throat then calmed when he set his jaw and narrowed his beautiful eyes at Chase.

  “No,” he said quietly but with all the strength and edge of steel. “I don’t want to hurt you, either of you.”

  He turned to look at Dimitri, who had yet to say a word. “But I can’t just give up. I feel her in here.” He slammed his fist against his chest, over his heart. He shifted his gaze to me and stepped forward, reaching out to me. “I can’t walk away from you, even for them.”

  I drew in a shaky gasp and wondered if this was a dream after all. As if in a trance, I turned my gaze from Lucian, to Chase, to Dimitri, seeing the pain and resentment that was tearing them all apart and finally understood.

  While I had been coming to terms with my need for all three of them, they’d been accepting the inevitability that only one of them would have me.

  “I’m not a prize to win,” I said, overcome with rising emotion that had nowhere to go but the angry corner. “And your friendship isn’t something I’m willing to destroy for happiness.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut, searching for the right words to say.

  I’d taken the time and slogged my way through the mess that was my emotions until I’d come to the only conclusion possible. I wanted all of them.

  But could they accept that? Would they agree to all be with me, together?

  Wolves mated for life; I knew that. They knew that. We were territorial and ferocious protectors of our own and I wanted to ask them to share.

  It had the potential to go horribly wrong. I had to feel this one out and ease into it.

  “I just want to spend time with you guys,” I said with a shrug, hoping it looked easy and believable, while my stomach butterflies freaked out, making me a little queasy. “This is too much to deal with right now. So, can we all just hang this weekend? I’d really like that.”

  They stared at me in silence for a moment so drawn out, I heard four different birds chirp and saw a squirrel run up a nearby tree with a mouthful of nuts.

  Then Dimitri cleared his throat. “I can do that.”

  I held back a chuckle at his grumbly response. I’d realized as soon as I’d heard Chase decry Lucian’s lips on mine that they probably didn’t know I’d spent part of the night in Dimitri’s arms. Since I was still pissed that I’d woken up alone in an attic with only the dregs of a nightmare to keep me company, I decided it was okay to enjoy his discomfort just a little.

  I understood his mercurial attitude a bit better now, though. He’d wanted me—I knew it as instinctively as I did my own need for him—but he loved his friends, his brothers, and they’d made promises. Promises he’d broken, for me.

  My enjoyment of his discomfort dimmed a little as that familiar guilt reared its stupid head.

  I turned to the others and widened my eyes, until they nodded in agreement and shifted uncomfortably as the silence grew around us. This was going to be a barrel of laughs if they kept up these attitudes. It was up to me to lighten the mood and ease them into the idea of sharing me like a bag of chips.

  My grin was wide and amused at my own twisted sexy thoughts as I reached a hand out for first Lucian, then Chase, and, pulling them forward, spun towards Dimitri.

  “Come on,” I said with a laugh that echoed through the trees. “I’m in the mood for ice cream.”

  “We should go to Luigi’s,” Dimitri muttered, still not over his mood, but clearly interested in ice cream. “They have lemon gelato.”

  His gaze met mine and wavered with uncertainty, then relaxed when I grinned and nodded.

  “
That sounds perfect. I love the salted caramel, I said.”

  Chase shot Dimitri a look. “That place is too pretentious for its own good. We should go to The Ice Cream Parlour. They have banana splits.”

  My mouth watered thinking of all the ice cream treats and the time I would get to spend with my guys.

  “She said she likes gelato,” Dimitri argued, obviously over his earlier reticence.

  I shrugged, not really caring where we ended up. This was what I wanted, us all together. The easy bickering was just the cherry on top. It made me smile.

  “I like banana splits, too,” I said, just to get them going.

  They argued all the way back to campus with Lucian chiming in that the best ice cream on campus wasn’t at either Luigi’s or The Ice Cream Parlour, but at the little cafe just outside the Performing Arts building. Dimitri scoffed at his suggestion and said the only reason Lucian liked it was because it was French and snooty. Chase reminded Dimitri that his choice had been gelato.

  We spent the next few hours making our way from one ice cream shop to the next, comparing the offerings and arguing over which was best. I landed on the dark chocolate gelato, which made Dimitri preen, and gave the banana split and mint chocolate chip awards for best runners up.

  Time slipped away as the day melted into an evening filled with laughter and easy touches that made my heart soar. The forced civility they’d been wearing like armor melted away, so it was just me and my guys.

  It was strange, I thought, when I slipped into my bathroom for a few minutes to freshen up between binge watching episodes of The Magicians. Strange and perfect. I just hoped that when the time came, they would be open to my deepest wishes.

  My lips curved up in the mirror as I leaned in to get a better look at my smudged mascara. Every touch today had called to my wolf. Every look and caress, every stolen kiss, every whispered word. I’d been riding a rollercoaster of awareness and emotion all day, and they all knew it. They could smell it on me. They could smell each other.

  My deepest wishes were beginning to blossom into something a little more erotic than I’d first thought.

  Butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the thought of being with them. Kissing Lucian, frantically making out with Chase, making love with Dimitri; each of those experiences had made me deliriously happy and horny, but the idea of being with more than one of them at a time…

  I shivered with anticipation.

  We were wolves. Sex was a normal part of our lives and they were three hot young guys. Surely, the concept of group sex had come up at least once in their conversations. I chewed my lip and wondered if best friends who were as close as brothers ever thought about crossing swords.

  A breathy gasp escaped my lips as a deep rose blush stained my cheeks. Old Ones, the very thought made my blood sing!

  I took my time, washing my face and calming my racing heart, then wandered back into Chase’s room with a relaxed smile. They were sprawled on the bed, leaning against the wall with piles of pillows cushioning their backs. A Lexi-sized empty spot between Dimitri and Lucian beckoned, so I crawled until I was snuggled in the middle of my guys and sighed.

  “Oh, I love this episode!” I said with a squeal as Chase clicked on the remote.

  He reached past Lucian’s leg and touched my knee, shooting me a devastatingly gorgeous grin that made my heart flop. I couldn’t help noticing the way his wrist skimmed Lucian’s thigh before reaching mine, or the way Lucian simply smiled at the touch, then leaned down to press a kiss to my shoulder as if this was completely normal.

  I’m not sure when I fell asleep but, when I woke, sometime in the middle of the night with a full bladder, I was sprawled across Lucian’s lap, my head on his thighs, with Dimitri cradling my back. Lucian was slumped against Chase’s shoulder, his face slack and beautiful in repose, with Chase’s head resting atop his dark hair.

  I yawned and wiggled my way out of the sexy nest and padded on bare feet across the room, taking a moment to glance back and memorize the sight of them like this, so innocent and free. My heart swelled with love for each of them then went cold as a memory of my nightmare crashed the party, infiltrating my happiness with fear. I frowned in the darkness and pushed hard at the negative emotion. I wouldn’t ruin what I had, what we had, with the darkness from my past.

  Still, as I closed the door with a quiet snick, I couldn’t quite banish the remnants of fear that had taken up residence in my gut.

  ♀♀♀

  “Yes!” Chase cheered when my shot hit the backboard and ricocheted directly into the basket, putting us just one point behind Dimitri and Lucian’s score.

  Dimitri wiped his head with the shirt he’d tucked into the waistband of his shorts and shook his head. “Where’d you learn to play like that? You’re a beast.”

  He laughed and took a swig from his water bottle then crossed the court to offer me a drink.

  I retrieved the ball and dribbled it between my legs so casually I might as well have been on the Harlem Globetrotters.

  “Some people are just born with superior skills,” I said with a shrug, then shouted and raced away when Dimitri’s eyes went dark with challenge.

  He lunged forward to grab me around the waist. I narrowly missed his attempt at capture but was promptly scooped up by Chase and delivered, over a shoulder, to my dark demon, whose grin was as bright and easy as the midday sun.

  I let him kiss me softly, then murmured, “If you keep this up, you’re going to lose your demon title.”

  His eyebrows drew down. “Demon?”

  I chuckled and shrugged again, not so easy to do while hanging over a broad shoulder and was rewarded with a smack on the ass.

  A zing of intense hunger flushed my skin at the love tap, thoroughly surprising me and Dimitri, whose face went taut with arousal as soon as my scent hit him. Beneath me, Chase’s muscles tightened as he, too, inhaled the shift in my scent.

  Everything in me wanted Chase to cart me off the court right then and there with Dimitri and Lucian in tow and have their collective way with me. Hunger burned through me like a flash fire.

  “Okay.” Chase lowered me carefully, drawing out the word in that sexy southern drawl of his. “Let’s just put you down before I caveman the shit out of this situation.”

  Dimitri barked out a laugh.

  I pressed my palms against my cheeks, willing away the heat that stained them, and blew out a deep breath.

  “Well, then,” I said, switching to fanning my face with a hand. “Who’s up for a swim? I think we all need to cool off a bit.”

  “Understatement of the century,” Dimitri muttered. “Hey, Lucy! We’re going to head to the swimming hole. You in?”

  Lucian wiped sweat from his forehead.

  “Sounds good.” He jogged over, hesitating when the scent of pheromones wafted across his nose. He arched an eyebrow and eyed us speculatively. “Do you guys need to go get swimsuits or are we just jumping in like this?”

  I glanced down at my sweat soaked tank top and shorts and frowned. “Swimsuit. I’m all gross.”

  I considered my stash of suits and decided with a flash of evil genius to go with the skimpy blue one I’d packed just in case I went to a beach at some point. It really wasn’t useful in terms of swimming, which was why it was shoved to the back of my dresser drawer, but it would make the gleam in my guys’ collective eyes intensify and drive them half mad. I grinned and pressed a water bottle to my neck at the delicious thought then faded into daydreams as I imagined them wet and in swim shorts.

  “Come on, spaz,” Chase joked, bumping up against me. “Let’s go get our stuff.”

  The blue bikini worked like a charm, negating the cooling effects of the swimming hole. By the time we’d cooled off, played for hours, then made our way back to campus with the rest of the students who’d headed to cool off, we were all hot and bothered again. I walked between Lucian and Dimitri with Chase beside us and smiled contentedly as we made our way back to Chase’s room.
>
  It had been a perfect day. I was going to either make it even better or blow this shit sky high. I crossed my fingers and made my way across the room, giving myself a few extra seconds to compose myself before turning and facing my three gorgeous guys.

  Fuck, they were beautiful.

  "So, I wanted to talk to you guys about something," I started, chewing on my nails as I ran over my thoughts for the millionth time so I wouldn't stumble over my words.

  Lucian sank into the computer desk chair and swiveled to face me, while Dimitri and Chase sat side-by-side on the bed, watching me intently. Having them all focus on me without any distractions was intense, but nothing I couldn't handle.

  "I know you guys have talked about what's been going on between us," I said slowly, measuring each word while my hands floated around my face in gesticulation. "And I just want you to know that while you guys were thinking about it, I was thinking about it, too."

  I took a deep breath, knowing that this was where our paths had diverged. "And I think that we kind of went in different directions with our conclusions."

  Chase sat forward, brows furrowed, and tilted his head. "What do you mean?"

  Here it was, the moment I'd been waiting for, the moment I'd been dreading. I straightened my shoulders and just went for it.

  "I don't want to choose," I said quickly, glancing at each one of them then away to chew on my lower lip. "I know it's a little unorthodox, but we're wolves so it's not completely outside the realm of normalcy."

  I heard myself starting to ramble and reined it back in.

  "The truth is that I have feelings for each of you, really strong feelings that I'm not ready to ignore so I can choose just one of you." I slipped my hand down to cover my stomach, which was churning painfully at the thought of losing them. "I don't want to chase any of you away and I'm really hoping that by not choosing, I don't make that happen."

  Three sets of eyeballs stared at me in varying degrees of shock and confusion. Chase was the first to break.

 

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