Sunny Side Up (Lake Erie Mysteries Book 1)

by Maureen K. Howard

  Senora lifted her black tee shirt to reveal rock-hard abs, a sexy black bra, and an intricate, richly colored scorpion winding its way across her chest.

  An image of our evening at the Island House flashed through my mind. I remembered having a fleeting sense that night that something was a bit off. Now, it was crystal clear. The tattoo, the martini, the change in attitude. It was her all along. But I still couldn’t figure out how Senora had taken her sister’s place at the Island House. All I could picture in my mind was that strange look on Sirena’s face as she checked her phone on her way inside the building. It was a combination of fear and excitement, but it really didn’t matter now. No one might ever discover the truth, at least no one who would live to tell the story.

  Senora smoothed her shirt back over her toned body and continued her story in a trance-like monologue. For the time being, she seemed to forget that we were even there.

  “Once I got Sirena out of my way, which by the way, was entirely too easy, I had the perfect opportunity to start slipping my counterfeit designer goods in with real deliveries all over Kelleys Island. There were lots of products too, not just fashion accessories. I had a nice business going on with the pharmacies as well. Make-up, hair care products, heck, I even had counterfeit prescription drugs. There’s a pretty big market for cheap Viagra around here. It probably doesn’t work, but that’s not my concern.”

  I remembered one of the red-circled newspaper articles in Michael’s backpack. It was about an FBI sting uncovering a network of underworld counterfeiters operating out of Chicago and New York. This was starting to make some sense now.

  The crazy lady continued her story. “I already had a nice little export business going using Overmayer as my front man, but now that Sirena was gone, I could begin to openly do business myself and get things done much more quickly and efficiently. I had already made contacts at Put-In-Bay and some of the mainland retail and drug establishments and everything was lined up. My dreams were about to come true.”

  She stopped talking then. The moment had passed. Senora was back in the present, and she stared at both of us with menacing eyes.

  “It was perfect. Things were progressing exactly as I had planned until you two Nancy Drews started to interfere.”

  June threw out one last-ditch attempt to keep her distracted while I tried desperately to get at my handbag, with the faint hope that I could somehow manage to come up with something that might buy us a little time.

  “How did you do it, Senora? I mean, how did you trade places with your sister, right under our noses? You must be a real pro at this criminal stuff. It took a lot a nerve trying something like that right in front of a real detective!”

  June must have struck a chord, appealing to Senora’s twisted vanity because she jumped at the chance to extol her evil skills.

  “Oh, that law man has nothing on me. You all just made it way too easy. I sent my clueless sister a text message instructing her to meet me in front of Inscription Rock. It was an emergency, and she should come right away. No time for good-byes. We hadn’t spoken in eight years, and that brainless fool actually thought I wanted to see her and have a little family reunion. What I wanted, though, was to give her a permanent going away party.”

  “But if it was you who joined us after dinner, how did you know what to wear? You were dressed exactly like Sirena.”

  “I am a very patient and methodical person. I have been working my plan in the shadows for a very long time now. It just amazes me how oblivious everyone is around here. No one locks their doors. People trust their neighbors. I walked in and out of Sirena’s house so many times while she was at work, and no one ever questioned me. Instead, they waved to me! It was easy to sneak into her room and inventory her closet and drawers. I even copied her shampoo, soap, make-up, and perfume in case I needed to cozy up to her new boyfriend. After old, decrepit, Jerry, Mr. Sterling might have been a nice change of pace. I never did get the chance to find out for sure though.

  “It was lucky for me Sirena was so gung-ho on supporting the local economy. Nearly everything she owned came from local vendors or else she made it herself. I’ll miss her hand-made soaps and lotions. They were actually very good. I thought it was very generous of me to share some of her last products with you, don’t you agree? For the rest of her belongings, I just made sure to purchase my duplicate items on different shifts than the ones she shopped. And then I watched. You two aren’t the only ones who can master a passable disguise.”

  “Can’t you please just let us go? We won’t tell anyone about this, and you can just disappear. No one else has to be hurt.” June’s last-ditch effort seemed to have run its course. It looked like the conversation was about to end for good.

  “It’s too late for that now. Sirena is dead. Clueless Clifton will soon be making his way to Davey Jones’ Locker. If he hasn’t already drowned, it won’t take long for him to die of hypothermia, and Francie, your darling Hammond’s body should be discovered in the old fish gutting shanty near the docks on the island’s north end one of these days. Once the two of you disappear, good old Detective Morgan might have his suspicions, but he’ll never be able to put all of the pieces together or prove I was connected to any of it, and I will be in the clear forever.

  “Then, I’ll just need to tie up the final loose end. I’ll schedule an intimate little cocktail party with Kenneth to celebrate our success. He’ll be so flattered. He’s been salivating after me like a dog in heat since we first met back in Chicago. One quick drink laced with a bit of one of my secret recipes, and I’ll have no one left to connect me with anything. I’ll have to tweak my recipe just a bit, since both of my trial runs were just a little short of success. I still can’t believe that idiot thought he could blow me up on my own golf cart and get away with the money. He could never outsmart me. As soon as I smelled the telltale sweet odor of my fire accelerant, I knew what he was up to and jumped off the moving cart before it caught fire and blew up.

  “Anyway, enough of all that. None of it will matter soon. I think it’s time for you to take your final curtain call. Get over to the edge of the boat, ladies.”

  This was my last chance. I was probably going to die, but I wasn’t going down without a fight.

  I pretended to trip and stumble over the deck chair, falling purposely into the doorway to the cabin. The trip was staged, but the shooting pain in my hip was very real when I made contact with the deck boards. I only had a few seconds to reach into my handbag and grab the first things I felt. I couldn’t see what I had clutched in my hand, and even if I could, I didn’t have time to be picky. It felt like a paperback novel and possibly a set of keys. I shoved the items into the front pocket of my borrowed sweatshirt, and scooted out of the doorway, reluctantly joining June, who was just stepping out onto the narrow swim platform on the back of the boat.

  “Okay, ladies, it has been great catching up and all, but I still have so much to do tonight. It’s time for you to go for a final swim.”

  “Please, Senora! We’ll drown out here in the middle of the lake. Or die of hypothermia. What about my children? They’re going to be orphans if the horrible things you said about Hamm are true.” I wasn’t acting now; I was begging. My voice was getting weak, and I was trembling.

  “Oh, the possibilities! Sadly, I’ll be gone before I can find out the final cause of your ‘accidental’ deaths. And about your kids—don’t worry. They will find a way to survive. It’s ironic, don’t you think, they being twins and all. I wonder which one will end up with all the power.”

  “They’re not like you!” I screamed right in her face. “They are nothing like you. They are kind and good. They love each other and take care of each other.”

  “Well, there you go, then. At least they have each other, unlike my sister and me. Our paths led to very different places after we were separated at an early age. Oh well. She always was such a drag. As you can see, in the end, it’s the strong one, not the lucky one or even the good one w
ho survives. It’s time to say good-bye now. This little conversation is over. Watch your step!”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Senora’s demented laugh was the last sound I heard before hitting the water. I thought I had fallen face first onto an asphalt parking lot. I imagined myself skydiving without a parachute onto a glacier in Antarctica. There was only cold and screaming, cold and screaming. My arms and legs were flash frozen into useless dead weight. Even if I knew how to swim, my numb limbs were nothing more than anchors pulling me relentlessly down to the bottom of the lake. I was sinking. I recalled that the water temperature was somewhere between forty and fifty degrees, and if my memory was still at all accurate, I could expect to remain conscious between thirty and sixty minutes if I could keep my head above water. That was a huge if. In the best-case scenario, I could survive for one to three hours. I knew, however, that this was a worst-case situation. Soon, I would be dead. And the strangest thing of all was that I welcomed it. The farther I descended, the less I seemed to care about my present or my future. The icy fog in my brain was muddling my sense of time, place, and priority. I didn’t know where June was or even if she was still alive.

  But then another sound intruded into my consciousness. The grumbling of the boat’s motor as Senora pulled away seemed to turn into the sweet noise that Beth and Ben used to make when they would put their faces into their bath water and blow bubbles, pretending to be pirates, whales, and mermaids engaging in deep sea adventurers. I fought to keep the picture of my beautiful children’s faces in my mind as I accepted the fact it would be the last memory I would have on this Earth.

  And then there were no more sounds; everything was eerily quiet. I remembered then that June had been with me and that she too was forced over the side of her boat. I hoped she would be rescued, but if, like me, she succumbed to the icy water, I hoped that she would be waiting for me at the big wine garden in the sky. So this was it. In one final, lucid moment, I silently apologized to Hammond for ruining everything and asked for his forgiveness. I told him I loved him and waited for the end to come.

  And now I couldn’t even die in peace. A terrible pressure on my stomach and chest jolted me back from the brink, forcing me back into the horror of experiencing my last moments of life in agony. Something was squeezing me. Hallucinations were blending with reality. I was certain now that a slimy lake monster had wrapped its tentacles around my waist and was going to sweep me away to its lair. The pressure was getting stronger and stronger until I could no longer bear it. I was going to explode. No one would have to scatter my ashes at my funeral because tiny little bits of Francesca would soon be dispersed throughout the water and air all around and above me. And then suddenly it lessened, and I was being buoyed gently upward, back to the surface of the water. I could see a faint ray of light above me. It grew brighter and stronger until finally my head broke through the surface and I gasped in glorious pain as air entered my frozen lungs. As oxygen made its way to my brain, the first thing I comprehended was that I was miraculously still alive. The second thing I noticed was June’s blond head bobbing barely above the water’s surface, not far from my own. We drifted closer together, and finally in the faintest whisper, I heard June’s voice.

  “It’s a boob.”

  After greedily sucking in some more air, my foggy synapses began to fire again. My vocal chords crackled as they thawed and struggled to produce the words to verbalize the sight in front of my eyes. “Oh my God June, it is a boob! Quick grab on.”

  The useless paperback I had retrieved from my handbag and desperately stuffed into the pocket of my sweatshirt at zero hour must have actually been the second water-activated raft I had bought for the twins at Jewel of the Bay last Friday. It had been activated in my pocket and borne me gently back to the surface. I could probably write a book on the symbolic irony of this whole situation.

  Together we clung to the spongy, semi-pornographic, double-D, life-saving raft. Even though we were above water now, the frigid water was slowing our reactions, making us weaker by the second. It was becoming harder and harder to hold on. We had reached the point where it was impossible to speak through our chattering teeth. I looked at June’s ghostly white face and ice-blue lips and assumed that my own face bore the same telltale characteristics of a person very close to her end. It was comforting to be together at least. We wrapped our arms around one another and pressed our bodies as close together as we could to share any tiny bit of warmth we still had in us. It was a little less scary knowing that I was not facing this horrible death alone.

  My eyes closed heavily, and I was just drifting into oblivion when bright lights pricked at my eyelids and beckoned me to open them one more time. The lights were bright blue and red, blinding flashes piercing through the blackness, fireworks announcing our arrival to our heavenly hosts. This must be the end. Over the years, I had heard stories and read books recounting near-death experiences. Many people reported seeing a light before they passed, but I had always assumed it would be white light. Well, what did they know? I was dying in living color. June and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The lights were getting closer and brighter. I entwined my fingers through June’s and prepared myself for the end.

  “Francie! June! Can you hear us? Francie! June!”

  Using my last bit of energy, I cautiously cracked one eyelid open. The water was churning furiously around us, and now it seemed the entire universe was filled with the bright lights. And that’s when the real miracle occurred. Detective Morgan’s face filled my vision. He was leaning over the edge of his police boat, stretching, reaching, trying to drag June off the raft and out of the water. Clifton was there too, and the knock-off guy! I sure wish I could relay this final hallucination to my kids. They would be highly entertained.

  “Grab my hand, Francie. Hold on, I’ve got you. You’re going to be okay.”

  It took more effort than I had left at this point to realize I was not meeting my maker today. I was being rescued. June was alive. I was breathing and shivering so violently that I, too, must be among the living. The three men had managed to haul both of us into the rescue boat and wrap us in layers of blankets. As soon as everyone was safely seated, Morgan took the rescue vessel full speed ahead back to the mainland.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  It was Tuesday morning, I later was informed, when I finally opened my eyes. I was warm and dry, but I wasn’t sure where I was or what new hell awaited me. Every inch of my body ached, and I thought about just closing my eyes and going back to sleep. At least it was quiet in my dreams. But something willed me into consciousness. I cautiously lifted my eyelids and what I saw was my amazingly handsome husband sitting in a chair pulled up right next to my bed. He had a gauze bandage wrapped around his head. His left arm was in a sling, and his right hand was holding tight to my own. He looked absolutely perfect.

  “Hamm, you’re alive! I knew it couldn’t be true that Sirena or Senora or whatever her name is had killed you.”

  “I’m fine, darling. All that matters right now is that you’re awake. How do you feel? Can I get you something? A glass of water?”

  “I have everything I need right here. Don’t let go of my hand please.” My eyes were welling up, but these new tears were tears of relief and happiness. “Oh, honey, I can’t believe I made it. I can’t believe you’re okay. Senora said she killed you.”

  “Oh, she tried all right. That’s one bitter, twisted woman.”

  I squeezed my husband’s hand, willing his warmth and strength to fill me and heal me. “Tell me what happened. I need to know.”

  “It can wait, Francie. Just rest now and get your strength back. I’m not going anywhere. You’re safe now and I’ll be right here.”

  “I don’t think I can rest until I find out what really happened.” I didn’t even want to blink. I was afraid I was seeing things again and Hammond would be gone again if I did. “Please. Tell me.”

  Hamm took a deep breath, and looking steadily at me with
his piercing blue eyes, began his tale.

  “Sirena, or actually Senora, called me on my cell phone as I was heading back home Sunday morning. You can imagine how surprised I was to hear her voice. At first I thought something horrible must have happened to you.”

  Hamm squeezed my hand a little tighter before he continued. “She said she found my lighter and knew how upset I was about losing it. She said she could tell it was a very valuable piece and that I should stop by her shop to pick it up.”

  I had paid a lot for the gift, but I was sure Hamm had no idea of its monetary value. He never price-shopped, so I found it sweet to know the value he placed on the piece was sentimental.

  “I really didn’t want to make an extra trip back to the island, but she was very insistent and I was just passing the ferry dock when I got the call.”

  I thought back to the ferry trip that June and I had taken that same morning. It was a wonder we weren’t on the same boat. He must have gone over before us because his car didn’t stick out like a clown’s red nose. He certainly would have noticed my old beater sitting in the near empty lot. I was sure that if we had run into each other then, it would have initiated an entirely different sequence of events.

  Hamm went on. “She said it would make you very happy if you knew I went out of my way to get the lighter back. Once she read the inscription to me over the phone, I felt like I had no other choice.”

  I was getting sleepy again but I willed myself to stay alert so I could hear the rest of the story.

  “Senora, who I obviously still thought was Sirena, also said she wanted to show me a captain’s wheel necklace that you had been really interested in when you visited her shop last Friday. She said she could order one and have it engraved with our boat’s name in time for our anniversary.” Hamm looked down at me sheepishly and said, “I took the bait. I made an exception since I know how much you love one-of-a-kind jewelry. I didn’t want to waste any time getting home, but I made a quick decision to take the ferry over. I figured once I retrieved my lighter I would make a stop at the police station to tell Morgan that Sirena had found my lighter, and it was all a big mix-up. I thought he’d appreciate eliminating at least one of the leads he was following. I knew he had some suspicions about me when we talked at the party, but he’s a fair man and I can’t fault him for being thorough.”