Gorgeous Bastard

by Stella Blaze

  I just needed to put that freaking kiss out of my mind forever.

  Period.

  Forever.

  “No shit!?!?” I heard Joshua’s voice as he passed by my bedroom door. “You gave him a hand-job? Does that mean he’s gay? Does that make you gay?”

  I felt my heart pump harder just hearing him pass by.

  I even felt fluttery in my chest.

  Put that on top of the tingles in my legs and I was seriously starting to freak out.

  What if I freaked out at the wedding?

  What if I went crazy and threw myself at him?

  I gulped.

  That would seriously ruin mom and dad’s big day.

  I looked at my window. A trellis climbed all the way to my window. I’d never climbed it, up or down, but suddenly it started to call to me.

  I could shimmy down it, get in my car and be headed back to school in ten minutes… seven if I left my laundry and just took my backpack and purse.

  Someone knocked on my door.

  I jumped and had to cover my mouth to keep from screaming.

  “Cali!” mom called through the wooden door. “Hurry up… we’re going to be late for the salon!”

  The salon…

  I opened my door and glared at my mother. “You didn’t say anything about going to a salon.”

  Mom had her hair in a ponytail, her face glowed without a stitch of makeup on, and I swear the tank top she was wearing made her look more like one of my schoolmates than my mother.

  I hoped that meant that when I grew older—good god—that I’d age as gracefully as my mother.

  “It’s my wedding day, sweetheart, of course we’re getting our hair and nails done.”

  I tried to give her an uncooperative stare, but she was impervious to my ire.

  “Chop-chop, or I’ll get your stepbrother to come in here and carry you over his shoulder out to the car.”

  I hope my face didn’t turn as red as it felt it did, burning with shame.

  Because I totally imagined a shirtless Joshua heaving me over his shoulder and…

  And…

  And smacking me on the ass.

  I felt the tingles spread up my spine and over my arms. I also felt my knees wobble.

  I smiled at my mom and said, “I’ll be right down.”

  Mom left and I threw my wet hair back in a ponytail, grabbed my purse and made my way reluctantly toward the stairs.

  I heard Joshua laughing as I speed-walked past his door.

  That made my pulse spike again, and I was pretty sure I was close to crying out in frustration.

  Why couldn’t he have stayed away? He was good at staying away.

  I made my way outside and dropped down into the passenger seat of mom’s new silver Camaro convertible. Mom was leasing it, but still it was way more extravagant of a car than she’d ever driven before.

  She smiled at me and waited for me to put on my seatbelt.

  “Hold onto your hat!”

  And just like that we were flying down the road, flashing through intersections, eating up the road as we roared down the highway.

  I felt so tired, though; I let my head fall back against the soft leather headrest and closed my eyes. Speed demon or not, mom was a good driver. I was safe with her behind the wheel.

  Chapter 9

  Joshua

  I should have stayed at school.

  I could have somehow talked my way out of this. I mean, I was at their last wedding… why did I have to be at this one too?

  Because it would cut my mom and dad to the bone if I wasn’t here.

  Because I didn’t want to miss them “officially” getting back together.

  Because I wanted them to last forever this time.

  I needed them to.

  I took a deep breath and sighed.

  Because I needed to see Cali again.

  Fuck me…

  Two years and I’d been able to keep from obsessing about her. But let her look at me with those big, beautiful eyes and…

  And I lost it.

  I hadn’t been able to do much more than count down the days until I could see her again.

  I know, I could have just come home and seen her some weekend. Or I could have just driven my stupid ass to see her at Chapel Hill.

  Coulda, woulda, shoulda…

  But instead my stubborn, bullheaded ass stayed away. I played ball, worked out, even started studying—which just seemed to make my professors bug me even more. Who knew I was good at computers? Truth be told I’d only used one before for gaming, and the occasional Facebook hack.

  There’s a lesson learned.

  I kept telling myself that if I could just keep away until the wedding, then I’d be fine, I’d be over it.

  The crazy fucking want and need to kiss her, to hold her, to…

  But staying away just seemed to make all those fucking feelings all the stronger.

  I even thought about thin airing it, disappearing and not surfacing again until it was all over and the folks were done with their honeymoon.

  But by then I wanted to see her so bad that I thought my head was going to explode.

  And wouldn’t you fucking know it, there she was the second I walked through the back door, looking all sweet and sexy and in need of a long, slow, wet kiss.

  I should have grabbed her and laid a lip lock on her, but…

  But I just stood there and let the moment pass me by.

  Of its own will my mouth opened and I started talking my usual shit at her.

  “Princess… I didn’t know you drank coffee.”

  She looked ready to lay into me, so I walked over to her, to throw her off and to grab a mug for some coffee. Dad always had the best coffee beans.

  And truthfully, I wanted to get close to her, to touch her, even if I couldn’t kiss her.

  I reached over her body, letting mine press against hers with the lightest of touches.

  I could feel her warmth, and smell her delicious, mind fucking scent.

  And then she scrambled away from me like I had the fucking plague.

  Jesus fucking Christ… was I that disgusting to her?

  “Don’t worry, princess… I’ll keep my lowly hands off you. I promise.”

  Her eyes were all bugged out as she started to turn and walk away from me.

  “Make sure you clean up before the wedding.”

  Cali shot out of the kitchen and up the stairs like the freaking Roadrunner.

  Well, there’s a real ego boost. The girl I like the most in the whole world thinks I’m a fucking pariah.

  Worst of all, it was… it was pissing me off.

  No, I wasn’t pissed off. No, it felt… deeper somehow.

  It hurt.

  I shook my head. I wasn’t a deep enough person to feel like this.

  Sure, Cali was deep enough—she read Maya Angelou and Jane Austen—but I sure as hell wasn’t.

  I saw a banana nut muffin still in its fancy cellophane wrapper, sitting on the counter where Cali had been fixing her coffee.

  She hadn’t eaten?

  She needed to eat.

  Just then my cell rang and I saw it was my man Pendleton. His dad owned a baseball team or something, but he was still just a god ole boy at heart. He also had the best defensive game in the Big Ten.

  I pushed Cali not eating to the back of my mind.

  Suzy would probably take Cali out for lunch, or brunch, or whatever-the-fuck women did on days like this.

  “Hey, my man. What’s up?”

  “Josh-boy, what the fucking hell did you do to Travis?”

  I closed my eyes and sighed.

  Oh shit…

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “Well, the motherfucker is camped out on my couch, drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon and crying like a baby.”

  Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck, fuck!

  “Did he tell you anything?” Please let him have kept his mouth shut.

  “Nothing really…”—Thank god!
—“except maybe that he offered to blow you.”

  Nice…

  “I turned him down.”

  Pendleton laughed. “Yeah, I got that, with him boohooing all over the place.”

  “What was I supposed to do, drop trou and tell him to knock himself out?”

  Pendleton laughed even harder. “Maybe you could have, I don’t know, told him to put a pin in it until after the Big Ten Conference.”

  I held my phone out and gave it a hard look, walking from the kitchen to the foyer, heading for the stairs.

  “What, lead him on?”

  “Fuck yeah!”

  “You’re kidding me, right?”

  “Hey,” he said, “I gave Hirkshire a hand-job my sophomore year just to keep the man happy and centered on the game.”

  “No shit!?!?” I was just passing by Cali’s bedroom door. I had to shake my head just to regain my train of thought. Hirkshire had been the team captain for four years. He was a legend, and he was over seven feet tall. “You gave him a hand-job? Does that mean he’s gay? Does that make you gay?”

  “It’s the new millennium, ass-hat, I refuse to label myself one way or the other.”

  I snorted as I entered my bedroom, dropped my shit at the door and headed to grab a Gatorade out of my mini fridge.

  “You’re just fucking with me now.”

  “Seriously,” Pendleton continued, “I had to use both hands on that thing.”

  Aaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!

  “Enough! You win! I’ll talk to Travis as soon as I get back.”

  Silence.

  “And?” he finally asked.

  “And what? You want me to let Travis suck me off?”

  Pendleton snickered. “What a pussy. All you gotta do is lie back on the couch or wherever and close your eyes.”

  “Not cool!”

  “Just imagine it’s whatever hot slice you’ve been pouting over since you came back fall semester. That should do the trick. You’ll be pounding your stiffy right through the back of his fucking head.”

  Jesus, had I really been so obvious all this time? If a teammate noticed, my dad was sure to notice.

  Cali…

  That look on her face right before I’d kissed her…

  Like she was about to smile, about to laugh, about to eat me alive.

  “Since you’re such an expert,” I said, trying to get the topic off who I was “pouting” about. “Why don’t you just throw some of your sexy self his way? You know, take one for the team.”

  I heard him choking on the other end of the phone.

  I was tempted to make a “choking/head” joke, but thought it too easy.

  I had standards.

  “I’ll forget you said that, dude. I already gave my all for my team. This one’s yours.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek. There had to be a way out of this.

  “Can’t you hook him up with a guy off the swim team?”

  “They all have boyfriends.”

  “Gymnastics team?”

  He snorted. “First all straight team in collegiate history. They’re also ranked dead last.”

  “Chess… debate… the freaking school of acting! Please, just find him someone.”

  Pendleton grunted. “I’ll think about it. As long as you shake off your pity party act too.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  “Don’t you roll your eyes at me!”

  How did he…

  “Just find yourself some sweet young thing while you’re home—maybe an old booty call—and get your rocks off.”

  “Jesus Christ, Pendleton!”

  “Just saying.” And he hung up on me.

  Chapter 10

  Okay… I could do this.

  I didn’t need to go hook up with one of my high school cast-offs.

  Not that I had enough time to track one down or any of that. The wedding was in three hours. I looked at myself in the mirror. I’d flossed and brushed my teeth, shaved and was ready to shower.

  I also had the hard-on to end all hard-ons.

  At times like this having a big cock was a hindrance. If I had a little pecker, then having a raging hard-on wouldn’t be a big deal.

  But since genetics or god bestowed on me one big old cock, walking around in public with it hard was a humiliating prospect.

  What was I, an animal, walking around all horned up, with no freaking control over myself?

  So there it was, pointing out from my crotch, long, thick, veined like a body builder’s arm, with a gentle upward slope.

  And I needed it to deflate and stay that way until after the wedding.

  What I needed was a pill, something to keep me from getting a boner. But sadly you could find someone in your circle of friends to get you Viagra, or something more potent to get you up and keep you up. But no one dealt with pills to make you flaccid.

  Guess there wasn’t much of a market for it.

  So, since I didn’t have a girl to fuck, or a pill to pop, I’d have to do it the old fashioned way.

  I needed to rub one out.

  Not that I didn’t know how to, or hadn’t majored in doing just that every day since the age of nine, but…

  But I hadn’t been able to cum while jacking off since that fucking graduation party.

  One look and she’d ruined my masturbation life.

  I gave myself a few strokes and headed for the shower. There was nowhere better to stroke yourself off than in the quiet sanctuary of your own private bathroom. I turned on the hot water and stepped under the steamy spray.

  I closed my eyes and imagined the hot spray was someone’s hands, touching me all over.

  I poured some hair conditioner in my palm and smoothed it over the head of my cock, and then down along the shaft. I held my heft in my hand and started stroking.

  It felt good, but not great.

  I was hard… hard as a fucking brick, actually, but every time I tried to get into the rhythm, to imagine sticking it into one of the girls I’d hooked up with in the past, then my mind would flash to Cali.

  Cali was now not only what turned me on, but what turned me off.

  “This is fucking ridiculous!” I hissed.

  I ground my teeth.

  I knew what I needed to do.

  If thinking about Cali was keeping me hard, then I’d have to just go with it and think of Cali while I jacked off.

  Simple.

  Yeah, simple, but… well, for fuck’s sake. Simple and easy were not the same thing.

  Throwing a half-court shot was simple, but it sure as hell wasn’t easy.

  I closed my eyes, leaned back into the hot spray, and started stroking myself.

  The memory of kissing Cali slid into my mind like a scene from a movie: vivid, bright, and beautiful.

  How she felt in my arms.

  How she smelled.

  How her lips tasted.

  And how freaking hard I’d been. I could have blown out the front of the shorts I’d been wearing if their fabric hadn’t been a spandex weave.

  I felt my cock shudder in my grasp, and my heart started thumping in my chest, just like it had that day in the driveway.

  I bit my lip and leaned back against the shower wall. My balls started to pull tight, to get that pleasurable burn they got right before I came.

  In my mind Cali reached down and took hold of my cock. It felt so goddamn good to have her holding me, for her to stroke me through my shorts.

  It hadn’t happened that way, but my head had no problem imagining it that way.

  “Say it,” the imaginary Cali whispered in my ear. I could feel her hot breath against my face, could practically feel the brush of her lips.

  I wanted to say it.

  Just like the climax that was about to wash over, through and then out of me, I needed to say it.

  The head of my cock tingled as she bit my earlobe.

  “Say it.”

  “I love you,” I said it in chorus with the me in my head, and then I shot my load, jets of
creamy spunk spurting out of my cock, swirling with the water going down the drain.

  I groaned so loudly my throat burned with the effort. I fell back against the wall and gasped as the last of my seed dripped from my cock.

  Someone pounded on my bathroom door.

  I grabbed a washcloth and tried to hide my still hard and huge cock, startled to the point I couldn’t speak.

  Or maybe that was just the effect of having just come.

  “Joshua, are you alright in there?”

  It was dad…

  Shit!

  “I’m fine!” I sounded and felt like a teenager getting caught whacking off.

  Guess you always felt that way when your parents and sex crossed paths.

  “You sure?” There was a hint of knowing humor in his voice.

  “Yep, I’m sure.” I turned toward the wall and leaned my face into my arm, hiding.

  Dad chuckled. I don’t think he would be in the mood to chuckle if he knew who I was thinking about while I…

  Shit, I couldn’t even think the word when dad was near.

  “Okay,” he said, “your blue suit is pressed and cleaned, and there’s a new shirt and tie. They’re on the bed.”

  “Okay!”

  It got so quiet I thought dad had left.

  “Hey, buddy?”

  I know I shouldn’t have liked him calling me buddy. He’d called me that since I could remember. It was a leftover from childhood.

  But it still made me feel good when he said it.

  “Yeah, dad.”

  “I’m glad you made it. Wouldn’t have been any good at all without you here.”

  My eyes started to burn with welling tears.

  I laughed. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world.

  “Don’t mention it,” was all I could come up with.

  Stupid, sad, pathetic me.

  “Well,” dad said, “I’ll be waiting down stairs. We can take my truck, and then you can drive back with Cali in Suzy’s car when we head off for the airport.”

  I perked up and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my waist.

  “So I get to drive Suzy’s Camaro?”

  I pulled open the bathroom door and smiled up at my giant of a father. He’d been a star forward at Notre Dame back in his day. Now he managed people’s retirements. His colleagues said he was brilliant at it.