Protecting Her Heart

by Chance Carter

“I do as I’m told and I go where I’m needed. Duty is a heavy burden to bear, but it’s one I will bear for this country to keep it safe.” To keep her safe too.

  “You’re going to keep the country safe from Hawaii?” She raised an eyebrow, a hint of that sassiness showing again. I loved that about her.

  “You wouldn’t understand.”

  “I do understand,” she said, fiercely.

  “No, you don’t. Don’t bother trying to convince me,” I replied, and waved a hand. “This was unbelievable. Being with you is a memory I’ll treasure. I have to leave, though, and there’s nothing that will change that. Orders are orders.”

  “But –”

  “Nothing will change,” I reiterated. I softened up despite my fear of caring and losing again. I let this woman into the personal space I’d walled off long ago, and it weakened me.

  We stood inches apart, staring each other down.

  “You’re so God damn stubborn,” she hissed, and anger flashed in her expression. “Why won’t you listen to me?”

  “Because it’s an exercise in futility, ma’am,” I said.

  “But I – we’re –”

  “We had our fun,” I said, stiffly. If I had to hurt her to get her to back off… no, I didn’t want to hurt her. I couldn’t. “It’s over now, the fun is over. Duty calls. You got the contract, didn’t you?”

  She pressed her lips into a thin line. Fierce and beautiful. I itched to kiss her again.

  It was the strongest sensation, a tug behind my navel forcing me closer and closer, but I resisted it.

  “Miss Scott?”

  “Now, I’m Miss Scott?” she said. “So, that’s the way you’re going to play it? Put up a professional front like what we had was nothing but a few fucks on the base?”

  “Keep your voice down.”

  “Why? Are you that ashamed of what happened between us?” Chanel tapped her heel. “Oh, I know, I know, you stand to lose everything if they find out, right?”

  My eyes widened.

  “For fuck’s sake, don’t worry, I’m not going to out you to your superiors. I’m not a total creep.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “I just think it’s ironic that you’re so dedicated to the military but you risked everything when you got together with me.”

  I had, but I didn’t tell her why. It would only make the pain worse.

  Chanel had changed my life. She’d helped me realize that I had the potential to be more than just that tool. Just when I thought maybe, just maybe, I could have more than this base and that profound sense of duty, the Commander offered me a swift kick to the ass and a wakeup call.

  “It was a mistake,” I said.

  Her eyelids fluttered and she lowered her gaze. “A mistake,” she whispered. “That’s all it was to you? A mistake? So, you lied when you said you felt something for me.”

  “No, but I was irresponsible to say it when this was the only end it could reach,” I replied, evenly as I could manage. “I won’t let either of us fall because of what we did. I’ll leave and serve as I’m meant to. And you’ll – did you get the contract? You haven’t answered me, yet.”

  She kept her head down, but her shoulders shook.

  “Chanel,” I said, softly.

  “I got the contract,” she said, at last, her voice quavered. “I got the damn contract, but my mother is closing the business because of it. There’s a petition in town to push out the base. An uproar.”

  “They won’t succeed, and even if your mother closes the store, you can start your own one. You have the contract here, you can take the money you earn to start something of your own.”

  She looked up then, but there wasn’t a hint of excitement in her. “Okay,” she said. “Whatever.”

  “This is what you wanted, isn’t it? To get away from your mother? That’s what it seemed like.”

  “This was what I wanted,” she whispered, but it wasn’t really a confirmation, only an echo of my words. “This was what I wanted.”

  “I have to go now.”

  “When are you leaving?” she asked.

  “Two weeks,” I replied.

  Chanel straightened and blinked at me. “Two weeks?”

  “And in those two weeks we’re not going to see much of each other. I’ll be busy here, prepping my predecessor. And I have to deal with Whitmore. Understand?”

  She didn’t acknowledge what I said, but finally backed off. She walked to her desk, pulled the chair back and sat down, then drew the cellphone toward herself. She fiddled with it, opening up her messaging app.

  “I didn’t want you to get hurt, Chanel.”

  “Right,” she said. “That’s fine. If you’ll excuse me, I have to get to work here. I need to contact my suppliers and get started on the revamp for the base you’re abandoning.”

  That stung, even though she had to know it wasn’t the truth. “I wish you all the best,” I said, formally.

  “Same to you.” That came through gritted teeth.

  I turned on my heel and marched from the room, leaving the door slightly open behind me. That had gone as terribly as expected, but at least I had a better handle on the situation. I had to leave my feelings for Chanel behind when I left. This was the first step to doing that.

  I walked on confident that I’d made the right decision, but doubts crept in. I turned the corner and continued down the corridor, hesitated, started walking again, then stopped.

  “Fuck.” Had I done the right thing? I was torn between duty and love, a first for me.

  Footsteps approached from the far end of the gray passage and Petty Officer Jameson rounded the corner. “Good afternoon, Sir,” she said. “Are you well?”

  “Jameson,” I said, and licked my lips. “Aren’t you supposed to be with Whitmore, right now?”

  “No, Sir. Not according to the schedule,” she replied.

  I’d written that schedule myself, and it was definitely her slot. “Then who’s with him?”

  “I believe that Officer Wyatt is with him, Sir. That’s what I read on the timetable.”

  “Officer Wyatt is off base collecting supplies, Jameson.” My heart sank into my stomach. How was this possible? Had Whitmore somehow managed to change the schedule? No, this had to be a clerical error.

  Perhaps, the pressure had addled my mind and I’d made this rookie mistake. One that could cost me more than just rank. Whitmore was a damn maniac.

  “Sir?”

  “Walk with me, Jameson. We need to check Whitmore, now.” I led the path down the corridor, boots tapping on the tile. Jameson kept pace beside me, her jaw clenched.

  She didn’t like this either, and I threw out my doubt. No way had I messed up that schedule. Someone changed it, and it had to be Whitmore’s involvement that led to that change.

  We entered the passage leading up to his quarters. No guards outside. No guards inside. And no Whitmore.

  “Christ,” I muttered. “Find him. Jameson. Full alert. Find him before he hurts someone else. And for God’s sake, try to keep panic to a minimum.”

  “Yes, Sir,” Jameson said, and rushed out.

  My intestines writhed like snakes, twisting, snapping at each other. Where was the first place Whitmore would go? My office? Perhaps, he’d seek me out for revenge. But then, he knew exactly where to go if he wanted to exact the worst revenge of all.

  “Chanel,” I grunted, and sprinted for the hall.

  Chapter 29

  Chanel

  I’d never felt this defeated before. My dad would’ve told me that defeat is another obstacle to overcome, or a stepping stone. That I should be grateful for the failure because at least I’d learn something from it, but this wasn’t the type of failure I could embrace.

  This wasn’t a screw up with a design in the work place. It wasn’t a friggin’ cooking failure or a car crash. It was my heart on the line, except the line wasn’t even there anymore. Ryan had jerked it out of reach.

  I stared at the cellphone in my hands, and conside
red shooting off a text to Paula. She’d have some quick-witted advice or a shoulder to cry on, but I couldn’t continue relying on her for everything, especially if I planned on taking this contract.

  If I did, I’d be up here for the next month and contact with folks in Meek Springs would be limited. I doubted that Commander Shepherd would care what name I carried for my business, whether it was Scott’s Interiors or just me, alone. A freelance decorator. I’d nailed the presentation and that was all that mattered to him.

  The choice was mine. Go back to Meek Springs and live with my overbearing mother, or stay on the base and complete the contract without Ryan here.

  It wasn’t much of a choice.

  I opened the portfolio on my desk, then reached for my folder of contacts beside it, and brought it across. My mind tried to keep up – my soul felt empty after the talk with Ryan.

  I’d fallen in love with him and he didn’t even know. He’d fallen for me and said it was a mistake.

  “Stop it,” I whispered, and blinked back tears. “That’s over now. Focus on your work. That’s all that matters.” I didn’t have a mother. I couldn’t lean on Paula and use her as a crutch. I didn’t have Ryan. “You never had him, dumbass.”

  I blinked back tears and flipped through the portfolio, to the information I’d marked with sticky notes. I turned to the corresponding page in my contacts folder and traced a line down the row of numbers. I needed paint, and help from some professional painters. I wasn’t about to trust that task to soldiers on the base – they didn’t have the necessary experience and I didn’t want to waste what funding I did have repainting.

  “Okay,” I said, “okay. This isn’t so bad. Easy. You can do this.” If I focused on all the tasks at hand, I wouldn’t have time to cry over Ryan or my idiocy in having fallen for him in the first place.

  The door creaked open and I frowned, turning toward it. My stomach dipped and whooped back up again. “What do you want?”

  Jack Whitmore stood there, gripping the edge of the door, a strange smile twisting his lips. “Is that any way to say hello to an old friend?”

  “An old friend? I’ve known you less than a month,” I replied, and tamped down on my fear. Jack’s expression was that of a predator – if I let him see he was getting to me he’d pounce before I got the chance to formulate a plan. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be under guard?”

  He entered my room and shut the door. Didn’t lock it, though, thank goodness.

  “That’s the thing, I shouldn’t be under guard. I wasn’t the one who beat up that kid, and a lot of the soldiers on this base know it,” he said, then cast a glance around the room. He gestured to my bed. “Mind if I sit down?”

  “Yes.”

  He grinned and plonked down on the mattress anyway. “Thanks,” he said, and hooked one leg up to rest it on the other, knee jutting outward. “You see, most of the soldiers around here know what Ryan is capable of and they don’t believe that I was the one who hurt that kid.”

  “I don’t want to talk about this. Or anything. I think it would be better if you left,” I said, and slowly reached for my cellphone. The signal wasn’t the best, but I had Ryan’s office number and I’d call it if I had to, though the thought of relying on him now ate at me.

  “But you need to hear it before you continue messing with him. I swear, I’m only here to help you.”

  “I said I don’t want to hear it.” I picked up the cell and held it fast.

  “You need to. He’s always been a little crazy, but it’s like I said, he was changed when he came back, after he lost all those men. And now, he’s been demoted –”

  “What?” Ryan didn’t tell me that.

  “Oh, you didn’t know? He was demoted from Lieutenant Commander to Petty Officer. I suppose you’ve heard he’s shipping out to Hawaii soon.”

  “Yes,” I replied, but how the hell did he know this? He was a prisoner, or he was supposed to be.

  “I have friends,” he said, as if he’d read the question on my face. “A lot of really good friends who know that I’m not capable of hurting another human being. An innocent one, at least.”

  “Oh yeah? Then how did you get those marks?” I gestured to the healing wounds on his knuckles.

  “These? I fell.”

  “You fell on your knuckles,” I replied, deadpan, and surreptitiously unlocked the screen on my cell.

  “That’s right. I was running away because of what I’d seen. Ryan scared me.”

  “I don’t know what you think you’re going to achieve by telling me this,” I said, “it doesn’t make a difference what you say to me.”

  “It has to,” Whitmore replied, then hung his head.

  I took the opportunity to scroll through my contacts to the number for Ryan’s office. I hit dial before I could second-guess my decision. I pressed my thumb over the speaker so the sound of ringing wouldn’t travel and alert Whitmore to what I’d done.

  “What are you talking about? Why is it so important that I believe this?” I asked.

  “Because you’re the only one who can help me put him behind bars. Can’t you see what a manipulator he is?” Whitmore speared me with his gaze. “He’s leaving isn’t he? He probably told you he cared about you, and he’s leaving you behind.”

  How did he know any of this? It sent shivers up and down my spine. “That’s none of your business.”

  “It’s everyone’s business. He made it our business by getting involved with you. Look, I’m not here to make you feel bad about what happened, but the fact that it did happen jeopardized the entire base. And if Commander Shepherd finds out that you did anything untoward with Ryan, you can bet he’s going to rescind the contract.”

  How the hell did he know about the contract? Christ, this was beyond creepy. “Who have you been talking to?” I asked. “Who told you all of this?”

  “I have my sources. Friends,” he said. “They’re on my side. I just want you to help me put Baker where he belongs. Behind bars.”

  “And if I don’t?” I looked down at the phone, but the call had already ended without being answered.

  “Then you’ll lose the contract and I’ll make sure that you never work on another military installation again.”

  Asshole. What a total asshole. “No one will believe you, and he’s already been demoted,” I said, “why do you care so much about what happens to him? And don’t give me that story about him having beaten up Timothy. We both know that’s not true.” I had to buy time. I tapped Ryan’s office number again and redialed.

  “He has you,” Whitmore said.

  My world rocked back and forth. “Huh?” I couldn’t form a proper question in response to that.

  “He took you before I had a chance,” Whitmore continued, and tilted his head to one side, studying me up and down, head to toe. Shivers coursed across my skin. “You see, I could’ve had you. You could’ve been my girl, and I wouldn’t have jeopardized this base in the process.”

  I opened my mouth then snapped it shut again. Once again, the call ended without going through to Ryan’s office. My pulse ticked up a notch – Christ, what would happen if I didn’t get hold of someone soon?

  What if Jack decided to hurt me or… I couldn’t even think it.

  “I would’ve treated you like a princess.”

  Finally, I found my words. “And threatening me is how you treat a princess? I worked hard to get this contract and now you’re going to try take it away from me if I don’t do what you want.”

  Jack scooched off the edge of the bed and sauntered toward me. “Don’t you see? Everything I’ve done has been for you. I want you to be safe.”

  He was too close. My body tensed up, muscles corded, and my fingernails bit into the meat of my palms, cutting crescent moons into my skin.

  “I want you to have a good life and you could’ve had it with me.”

  “P-Paula,” I stammered.

  “She’s nothing compared to you. All I wanted was you,
all along, gorgeous. I couldn’t even fuck Paula because it drove me mad thinking about you with him.”

  Whether this was true or not, Whitmore had a serious envy problem. I’d ended up with Ryan and he wanted to change that, either because he liked me in a psychopathic way or because he wanted to take me from Ryan.

  “You know you want this as much as I do,” he said, and pried the phone from my hand. He glanced at the screen and chuckled. “Look at the initiative you’re willing to take. But he didn’t answer, did he? No, he’s probably too busy for you, now. Busy getting ready to leave for another base. Leave you behind like a piece of trash. He used you and now he’s done with you. You’ll never see him again.”

  “Stop it,” I said, and tears prickled in the corners of my eyes. “None of that’s true.”

  “Then why hasn’t he come to save you from me, huh? That’s what you want, isn’t it? You want Ryan to come save you from big, bad me.” He traced a line down my jaw and I flinched away. “Well, you were right about one thing.”

  “What?”

  “I did put Timothy in a coma, and I’ll do it to anyone who gets in my way,” he said, and pinched my chin. He shook my head from side-to-side. “If you won’t have me, if you won’t help me, I’ll ruin you. And if that doesn’t scare you… Hmmm, I can fabricate something else.”

  I gulped, and sweat dripped down my temples.

  “I can picture it now. You beaten black and blue by Ryan. Oh yeah, that would work. See, everyone thinks I’m under guard and everyone’s heard the rumors about you two together. They’ll assume that you had a huge blowout after you found out he’d been reassigned.”

  I struggled back but Whitmore held my chin fast.

  “And then Ryan will be ruined and so will you. So, what’s it going to be?” he asked. “You going to help me bring him down, or am I going to make you.” Whitmore raised a fist and admired his bruised and battered knuckles.

  My choice had changed from staying or going, to staying or possibly dying.

  “I love Ryan,” I said, loudly, and glared daggers up at him. Never give up. Never surrender. Don’t show them fear, girl, or they’ll know that they’ve gotten to you. You have one real choice in life: die on your knees or die with integrity. I know which I’d choose.