Chapter Eighteen
After the ordeal of this morning, Helen was surprised to find herself wanting Alex so soon. Part of her felt that she needed it however, to wash away her nightmare. At the moment, the doctor was her last memory of being touched intimately and she felt as though the longer she left it, the harder forgetting it would become. She wanted Alex to claim what was rightfully his, and she didn’t want to wait another second.
Alex had stopped kissing her and was giving her a questioning look. Helen reached up and pulled his head down for another kiss but Alex was resisting. When she released him, he looked worried.
“Are you sure?” he asked.
Helen nodded. “I need this.” She just wanted to forget all her troubles for a time, to get lost in the moment.
Alex gave her a reassuring smile but surprised her when he got off the bed. For a moment, she felt as if he was rejecting her, as though her ordeal this morning had put him off and she felt the sudden sting of tears.
Alex held out his hand for her and she tried her hardest not to cry as he pulled her up.
“You’re so beautiful,” he said, his hands going to her hair as he began removing the pins he found there. He arranged her hair, fanning it out around her shoulders.
The urge to cry had ceased for the moment because his expression showed no distaste, only desire. His arms went around her back and his lips claimed hers once more. She responded, although she was hesitant. She felt the buttons on her dress being undone and wanted to start undressing him as well, but she didn’t feel brave enough for that.
When the last button on her dress was undone, he stepped away slightly and peeled the dress from her shoulders, pushing it down and off, to pool at her feet.
Although she wanted this, was eager for it in fact, she also felt self-conscious and her arms were crossed over her chest.
She wondered what had happened to the earlier merriment, for she would surely like to get that feeling back if she could.
Alex began to unbutton his waistcoat and Helen wished that she was brave enough to do it for him. Unfortunately she couldn’t find the will to move her arms from where they rested, covering her breasts. Her eyes were fixed on his hands as they undid each button but before he had finished, his hands dropped to his side and he stepped closer to her, putting his hands on her shoulders.
“We don’t have to do this now,” he assured her.
Although she feared seeing his disappointment, Helen finally made eye contact but all she saw in his eyes was concern. His worry for her warmed her heart and she tried to smile at him, although she was sure it must look more like a grimace. Abandoning that idea, she instead reached out and finished unbuttoning his waistcoat.
“Are you sure?” he asked again.
Helen nodded and this time, she thought that her smile was much more believable. Her hands were shaking very slightly as she pushed his coat and waistcoat off. His cravat proved more difficult and she settled for loosening it and slipping it over his head. Unfortunately, she hadn’t loosened it enough and it caught on his nose, making him cry out and step back to relieve the pressure.
“Oh Alex, I'm so sorry!” She stepped up to him. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
Alex wrestled with the cravat until he finally managed to pull it off, then he burst out laughing.
Helen had to admit that the situation was pretty absurd and combined with her relief that he wasn’t angry at her, she laughed too.
It proved to be just the tension breaker that they needed and they were still grinning and giggling as they climbed onto the bed, both as naked as the day they were born.
Their kisses were different from previous encounters; there was passion and desire there but also so much merriment, that the encounter felt light-hearted and fun. As if they were children on an adventure, rather than adults about to consummate their relationship.
Helen felt no fear as she reached for his hard length and rather than being alarmed when his member twitched in excitement, it brought a smile to her lips. She stroked him as he had showed her in the bathtub and by watching for his reactions, she began to judge what things he liked more than others.
Alex’s hands wandered all over her body but he interspersed his caresses with tickles, which she couldn’t help but laugh at. She cried out as he brought her to a climax.
When she had recovered, he finally placed himself at her entrance and thrust inside, then held still for a moment and looked into her eyes. Helen reached up and cupped his face in her hands, planting a reverent kiss on his lips. The humour and laughter from their encounter was forgotten for a moment, until her thumb ventured too close to his lips and Alex took a playful snap at it.
He began thrusting into her, and looked pleased when Helen began to raise her hips from the bed, matching his rhythm and she gave every appearance of enjoying the encounter as much as he.
Alex seemed unwilling to withdraw from her once he had finished, and Helen was in no hurry to push him off either.
Once he had caught his breath, Alex raised his head from her shoulder to look down at her, a warm smile on his lips.
“Did I hurt you?” he asked.
“No,” she assured him, raising her head to kiss him. “I rather enjoyed it, actually.”
“It appears that I have married a wanton woman,” he teased, causing her to smile.
“You aren’t having second thoughts, I hope?”
“Never!” he assured her, stealing another passionate kiss.
Helen was just getting lost in the kiss when the clock over the mantle softy chimed once and her ardour cooled. Alex pulled away and looked down at her, a question in his eyes.
“Lunch time,” she said, thinking that explained everything.
“I’m not sure I’d care if I never ate again,” he teased. “In fact, I'm not sure I ever want to leave this bed, as long as you’re in it.”
Helen smiled but it was half-hearted.
“I have to face them sometime and I would rather it was sooner than later.”
Alex’s smile faded and he nodded his understanding.
“Are you sure? I have already banished Mother to the Dower House as soon as she’s able, and I will happily send your family packing.”
“Thank you, but I would prefer to get this out of the way. If I don’t go, I’ll feel as if I’m hiding and I have nothing to be ashamed of. Plus, I was rather looking forward to tonight’s meal; it’s pheasant, one of your favourites, and I would rather the awkwardness has passed by then.”
Although he was sorry that their tryst was at an end, he accepted her logic.
“Well, I suppose we do have the rest of our lives to enjoy each other.” He gave her a quick kiss and climbed off her.
Helen had to fetch a new dress because the hem of her gown had been soiled by the rain and mud and Alex helped her into it, since the buttons were in the back. Remembering Jane’s flask, Helen took a quick sip from it as Alex tied his cravat. In the event they weren’t very late for lunch, leaving Alex’s room at ten past the hour.
“I do hope you’ll visit me again this evening,” he said as they headed down the main staircase. “Waking up with you was a most agreeable experience, and one I’d like to repeat often.”
Helen smiled. “I think that can be arranged.”
They could hear conversation coming from the dining room but it ceased as the door opened. Everyone looked surprised to see her, except Jane who smiled warmly.
“Is something wrong?” Helen asked. Jane’s smile widened while the others seemed flustered.
“Actually, we were just wondering if we should send someone to enquire after you,” Clarence smoothed things over as he stood up at her entrance. “But as I suspected, it seems to be my dear brother’s fault for waylaying you. Mother despairs of him, swears that he is incapable of being on time for anything.”
Helen smiled as she sat on the chair Mr Graves was holding out for her.
“Fortunately, I find your brother’s com
pany to be delightful, so I do not much mind being waylaid by him.”
The men sat down again as she did.
“Delightful you say?” Clarence feigned surprise and turned to Alex. “If you aren’t careful, your reputation as a dour aristocrat will be ruined. You must silence your wife before she does too much damage.”
Alex smiled at his brother’s good-natured teasing.
Nothing was said about that morning and the only indication that something might have happened, was Jane’s slight nod of approval to Helen.
“Did anyone read the Times this morning?” she asked.
“I had a quick look,” Clarence answered.
“And I,” added Paris.
“Did you see the article on the Royal Italian Opera troupe?”
“I must have missed it,” Clarence answered.
“Well, it seems that they are coming north and will be performing Serse at the Grand Theatre in Lancaster. I thought perhaps we could go and see it. It’s been so long since I’ve been to an opera.”
“What a splendid idea,” Paris smiled, looking to his family to agree.
“Oh, yes. I do so love opera,” his sister Cassandra agreed.
“And I don’t believe I have seen Serse,” his mother chimed in.
“Unfortunately the performance isn’t for another few weeks,” Jane added. “What a pity you shall have gone home by then.”
Her sweet smile and professed disappointment seemed false to Helen, who had to suppress her own smile.
“Oh, yes, quite.” Paris looked rather shocked, and his reaction confirmed Helen’s suspicions that they were here to benefit from her newfound position.
“It is such a shame,” Cassandra agreed. “Still, I suppose it can’t be helped.” She glanced at Helen but when she found her half-sister observing her, quickly looked away.
“What do you think?” Jane looked to Alex, ignoring Cassandra.
Alex looked introspective and Helen had the impression that requests such as this weren’t frequent.
“I don’t mind if you would like to go,” he finally decided. “I however, was never much of an opera lover.”
Helen didn’t think that was quite true.
“I’ll make the arrangements,” Jane smiled. No one else, besides Helen’s family seemed keen. Rose kept her head bowed over her lunch; Pearl gave a derisive sniff while Anna’s expression didn’t reveal her feelings.
“Well, even if it is only us, I should be glad to accompany you,” Clarence offered.
“Thank you,” Jane smiled at him.
Seeing an opportunity, Helen spoke up. “Will Milton be back in time to accompany you?” she asked.
Jane frowned. “I have no idea. I’ve written but he hasn’t replied yet; he didn’t even say goodbye before he left.”
Helen and Alex shared a look, both wondering what Milton’s silence might mean.
***
After lunch Helen excused herself to meet Joe for another game of chess and Alex retired to his study, to consider how they might trick Emma’s murderer into revealing himself. He was interrupted by a knock at the door and when he called for them to come in, Jane entered.
“I wanted to ask you to reconsider attending the opera with us,” she stated.
Alex gave a slight smile at her forthright manner; she wasn’t one to beat about the bush.
“Thank you, but no.”
Jane took a seat opposite him at the desk. “Honestly, Alex, you can’t hide away here forever. You have a new wife, it’s time you re-joined society.”
“So they can all whisper about me behind my back? No thank you.”
“Alex, no one who knows you believes that you killed Emma.”
“Unfortunately, most of Society doesn’t know me that well.”
“And whose fault is that? You’ve hidden away here for over two years, which makes you look as if you have something to hide, so of course people are going to speculate. Now however, more than two years have passed, you have a beautiful new wife and it won’t be long before your sons enter Society.”
“Joe is only seven,”
“And the past seven years have flown by, haven’t they? So will the next seven.”
“Jane, I appreciate your concern, really I do, but now is not the time.” He was thinking more of his uncle and the threat that Helen might be under, rather than any desire to hide.
“I’ve received some calling cards for Helen.”
“Already?” Alex sounded surprised.
“People are anxious to meet the new Duchess,” Jane explained. “Do you suppose that we might invite callers sometime soon?”
Alex considered the woman before him for a long while. Anyone else might have felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny but Jane maintained eye contact.
“I don’t object if Helen would like to receive callers, but I would ask that you hold off for a few weeks.”
Jane frowned, not understanding the need for delay. Alex gave a weary sigh.
“What I’m about to tell you must be kept in the strictest confidence, do you understand?”
“Of course.”
“The truth is, I fear that Helen’s life may be in danger.”
Jane’s jaw slackened in shock. “Why?” she exclaimed.
Alex explained about the clause in his father’s Will, Helen’s broken rein buckle and their suspicions that his uncle may have been behind Emma’s death. He refrained from telling her that everyone was suspect, and that her brother was their best suspect.
Jane listened in a stunned silence and when he had finished his tale, it took her a while to formulate a response.
“Well… I think for a start, Helen should go nowhere alone from now on. Either you or I should be with her.”
Alex nodded. “She probably won’t like that.”
“I don’t care what she likes!” Jane snapped, getting to her feet and beginning to pace the length of Alex’s desk and back.
“I think she is probably safe enough during the day, when other people are around. I have no intention of leaving her alone at night however.”
Jane nodded, seeing the sense in what he said. “So how is your uncle doing this? Did he pay someone to sabotage the bridle? If so, who? Did he pay someone to kill Emma? Surely a stranger would have been seen, so perhaps someone on staff.” She was talking more to herself than Alex. “Unless he paid her lover! That would make sense, if he hired someone to lead her astray; I simply can’t see her falling for anyone, so it would have to be someone quite remarkable, to turn her head. But again, who?”
“For the time being, I think we should focus on keeping Helen safe. After my birthday, the danger should have passed, and we can move on to finding out who and how Emma was harmed.”
“She wasn’t harmed, Alex, she was murdered!” Jane shouted, ceasing her nervous pacing.
Alex was slightly taken aback and his expression must have shown it.
“I’m sorry,” Jane sighed and sank into one of the chairs. “I’m sorry, Alex, it’s just… well this is a lot to take in. I always knew she had met with foul play but to think that it could have been so cold blooded? She’s just as dead either way but the idea of someone plotting and scheming to kill her just...”
“I know it’s a lot to assimilate and I could have been more gentle in breaking the news to you-”
“No, it’s not that, well, not only that.” She brought her right hand to her mouth and began to chew on her thumb nail.
Alex knew that she had more to say and remained silent, afraid that anything he said might stop her continuing. He had never known Jane to bite her nails, so he knew that she was more perturbed by what he had told her than she was letting on.
The silence stretched on and Alex sat forward, deciding that one of them had to say something.
“I realise this must be upsetting for you-”
“Upsetting?” Jane interrupted him, sounding incredulous. She ceased chewing on her nail for the moment and looked him in the eye. “This is more
than upsetting.”
Her words trailed off and she resumed biting her thumb nail.
Alex had never seen Jane looking so rattled before and he was unsure of how to handle her.
Emma had been the shy and nervous one, while Jane was the forthright and confident sister. Emma had needed gentle treatment and kid gloves, while Jane often failed to notice subtlety or hints.
“I need to be alone,” she said, getting to her feet and heading for the door.
“Jane!” he called after her but she paid him no heed, leaving the door open in her wake.
Alex made his way over to the door and closed it with a heavy heart. Her unusual behaviour disconcerted him and while he was loathe to ever consider Jane a suspect in her sister’s murder, he suddenly found that he was unable to put the thought out of his mind.
He didn’t understand why or how she might have wished Emma harm, but the thought wouldn’t go away and continued to plague him for the rest of the day.
Chapter Nineteen
“Helen?”
She kept her eyes firmly on the chessboard as she answered Joe. This was only their fourth game but each and every time they played, Joe had some odd questions for her. She was worried that if she ever reacted naturally, that she might stop him from asking what he wanted.
“Yes?” She moved a pawn and took Joe’s knight.
“Is it always wrong to lie?”
Helen considered for a moment before answering. “Probably not always, no.”
“When is it all right?”
“I don’t know,” she answered, giving herself a moment to think. “Well, I suppose if you heard someone saying mean things about Jules, it would be unkind to tell him.”
“But what if he asks?”
“I suppose it would depend on what was said and who said it. If his nanny said that he was bad at sums, telling him might undermine his confidence, even if he asks us to tell him. If she said something mean about his character, I still wouldn’t tell Jules because he’s too young, but I would do something about it.”
“Would you tell Father?”
“I might, or I might handle it myself. It depends on what was said, I suppose.”
Joe nodded and hunched over the board a little more, focusing all his attention on it. Finally he moved his rook, threatening her bishop.
Love, Lies and Murder Page 17