“Have you ever lied?” he asked once he had made his move.
“I suppose so.”
“When? What did you say?”
Helen thought back. “Well, once when I was small, I told the housekeeper that I hadn’t broken something, when I had.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t want to get in trouble.”
“What happened?”
“She didn’t believe me and I got in trouble.” Helen risked glancing at Joe, smiling at him. He didn’t smile back and hers quickly faded as she looked back to the board. “There was one time when I lied at work.”
“What did you say?” he asked.
“Well, before I married your father I used to work for a dressmaker, and she made dresses to order for very well-to-do women. There was a terrible accident one afternoon, when a lady who was in the shop knocked over the ink well that we keep on the desk, and it smashed, ruining an evening gown we had prepared for a good customer.”
“What did you do?”
“We were unable to salvage anything except the bodice but we didn’t have any matching material for the skirt, so we stayed there for three evenings and made the whole thing again. She’d had a fitting in the original gown and when she came back for her final try, she asked if the colour was the same. I didn’t want her to know that we had used a different cloth, so I told her that it must be the light in the store; she was there in the afternoon, but her original fitting had been in the morning.”
“And she believed you?”
“She did.”
“Why didn’t you tell her?”
“In case she cancelled the order. Some ladies can be very fickle and if she had realised that we had recreated the gown, she might have not bought it, and my employer couldn’t afford to lose the money. We had already used twice the fabric that we should have.”
Joe nodded slowly and seemed to be considering something. Helen wondered what he was thinking about. He was such a troubled young boy at times.
Although she knew that she risked alienating him, she finally asked, “Have you ever told a lie?”
He shook his head vigorously but didn’t look at her, so she knew he was lying now, at least. She didn’t press the matter but Joe was preoccupied for the rest of the game, allowing her to win for a change.
Then he darted off back to the nursery as soon as he had congratulated her, leaving Helen wondering what troubled him so and wishing that she could help.
She sighed and began packing the chess pieces away, then stored them and the board in the sideboard. She left the sitting room and almost ran into Clarence in the doorway; he caught her upper arms to stop her falling.
“I’m terribly sorry,” he smiled.
“No, it was my fault, I’m sure.” She gave a pointed look to her arms, where he still held her. He released her at once and stepped back.
“I saw Joe heading back to the schoolroom and hurried here, so as not to miss you. I am the one at fault.”
Helen smiled. “Then you are forgiven. Did you have a reason for wanting to speak to me?”
“Yes.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, seeming rather uncomfortable. “I wanted to apologise, actually. I know that my uncle and I have little to do with each other but he is family, and the way he behaved was deplorable. If I had known what he wanted when he knocked, I would have sent him away, I assure you.”
Helen’s smile remained and although it tightened a little at the memory, she didn’t blame Clarence.
“Unfortunately, we cannot choose our family. Believe me, I bear you no ill will.”
“Thank you,” he smiled. “And how are you?”
“I’m fine, thank you.” Her smile tightened even further.
“Are you certain? Is there anything I can do?”
“Honestly, I'm fine, but I thank you for your concern. Now if you’ll excuse me.” He finally stepped aside and Helen marched quickly down the hall and into her bedroom. She was sure that Clarence meant well but even if she had wanted to talk about it, she would not choose her brother-in-law.
She had intended to do some reading that afternoon but she felt a little unsettled and paced her room for a while. She had managed to quieten her whirling thoughts while she was with Joe, the game helping her but now that she was alone again, she had nothing to distract her.
Between Emma’s murder, Joe’s unusual questions, the possibility of being in danger herself, the lovely experience with Alex before lunch, as well as the unwanted exam this morning, she was feeling quite unsettled, which wasn’t something that she was used to.
All in all, this probably qualified as the strangest day of her life.
Deciding that she needed to do something, she summoned Bessie and sent someone to the stables to have Pecan saddled, then she changed into her riding habit. She was just leaving her room when she ran into Cassandra, who seemed to have been pacing the hallway outside her door.
Helen really wasn’t in the mood for whatever her half-sister had to say.
“Say what you have to say, Cassy, I’m late.” She wasn’t but it was a good excuse.
“I’ll walk with you then.”
Helen neither agreed nor refused but as she continued down the hallway, Cassandra kept pace beside her.
“I wanted to have a talk with you woman to woman,” Cassandra said.
“So speak.” Helen answered, trotting down the stairs and out through the rear door, making Cassandra jog to keep up with her.
“Helen, stop!” Cassandra grabbed her arm and although Helen gave her a scathing look, she didn’t let go. “Please, just hear me out.”
Helen took a deep, supposedly calming, breath. “Go ahead.”
“Thank you.” She released Helen’s arm and looked relieved when Helen didn’t start walking across the gardens again. “I wanted to be brutally honest with you.”
‘That would be a first,’ Helen thought, although she managed to keep it to herself.
“The fact of the matter is that I have been poorly treated by a man I trusted, a man we all trusted. Do you remember Lord Burnish?”
Helen nodded.
“He promised himself to me, as you probably remember, and although there always seemed to be a reason why the wedding couldn’t happen just yet, we all believed that it was just a matter of time. He was so charming; I swear that if he told you up was down, you would believe him.”
Cassandra turned away from Helen and began walking, seemingly having trouble maintaining eye contact. Helen matched her leisurely pace.
“Then about a year ago, I read of his marriage to someone else, someone rather wealthy, far wealthier than I. It seems he was in financial difficulties that no one knew of.”
“Did he compromise you?”
“Oh no! I mean that, truly, but you know how cruel people can be.” She had the good grace to blush as she realised that those words could apply to her treatment of Helen. “There is talk, obviously, we were so close for so long and everyone wondered why he married this other woman. Some have been very unkind to me and needless to say, I haven’t had any reasonable offers of marriage since.”
That wasn’t surprising, at 25, she was almost too old to marry, and that was without the whiff of scandal.
“Reasonable?” Helen asked.
“I had a widower older than Papa offer for me, and a widower looking for a mother for his children.”
“But they didn’t suit you?” Helen carefully kept her voice neutral.
“No, they were both far too old and far too poor.”
“Beggars can’t be choosers, Cassandra.”
“Yes, well… the thing is, Helen, you are my last hope of making a good match. I am begging you, please help me.”
Helen didn’t say anything as they continued to walk, then she suddenly let out a hollow laugh.
“The irony is, at one time I would have done anything for you. I’m sure you realise that I used to idolise you when we were children,” Helen kept her eyes fi
rmly focused in the distance. “I didn’t mind playing handmaiden to your princess because in my eyes, you were a princess. I would have run around after you forever, given you anything you wanted, if only you would include me in your world sometimes. You were everything I wanted to be. And then my waiting on you wasn’t enough any longer, you wanted to humiliate me. You stopped being cool and became downright cruel.
“To this day I don’t know what I did to warrant your hatred, but I do know that of you and Paris, it was always you who was the instigator, even although he is older. Paris was unkind, but you took a perverse pleasure in devising new ways to torture me.”
“I know, and I'm sorry.”
“No, you aren’t,” Helen finally stopped walking and turned to her sister, her expression cold. “You care nothing for me and I'm sure nothing would have made you happier than discovering that I had died, after you threw me out. It must just gall you to know that I made such a good marriage, while you, who thinks herself better than me in every way, are destined to remain an old maid, living off the charity of your brother.”
Cassandra’s expression wavered between anger and contrition.
“So let me ask you one question, Cassandra. Why should I help you?”
Her half-sister frowned and whilst she opened her mouth a few times to answer, she didn’t speak. Finally she asked, “What do you want me to say?”
“I want you to give me a reason.” Helen thought that was obvious.
Cassandra straightened her back. “Very well, tell me what it is that you want.”
“I’m not trying to blackmail you; it’s just that after everything you’ve done to me, I simply can’t see a reason to help you. Becoming a spinster is hardly a terrible fate that you need rescuing from.”
“You would say that,” she spat. “You were probably ready for spinsterhood since the day you realised that no one would marry an illegitimate woman.”
Helen actually smiled at that. “Now that’s more like the Cassandra that I remember.”
She turned and resumed her course to the stables at a brisk pace and after a momentary hesitation, Cassandra followed.
“Please, Helen, you now have access to so many more people than we do, wealthy, well to do people! I’ll do anything you want me to. We’ll even leave if you promise to let me accompany you during next summer’s London Season. Oh, Helen, say you’ll help me, please.”
“Why can’t Paris escort you about London?”
“Because he’s been banned from Almack’s, hardly anyone includes him in invitations now that he’s been rejected.”
“Why on earth was he rejected?” Helen glanced sideways at Cassandra.
“It’s money, all right! One of the lady patronesses at Almack’s has access to her family’s bank and knows how poor we are. The estate wasn’t doing very well but while Papa was alive, he was able to pacify his debtors. Once he died, they all claimed their payment. Paris should have married for a large dowry but he wanted to marry for love and as a result, is barely making ends meet.”
Helen had never known her father to be in debt but then, he had never discussed business with her. Cassandra could be lying to cover something up but equally, it could be true. Did it matter whose fault it was, since the end result was the same?
“Do you want to make a good match to help your brother, or so that you can leave him and his problems behind?”
“What sort of a question is that?”
“In my opinion, a valid one.”
“Well, obviously, that would be up to my husband, not me.”
“Your interests come first once again.”
“I don’t know why you are so interested in helping Paris, he’s the one who burned Father’s Will. You were left ten thousand pounds and an annual annuity.”
Helen’s feet stopped moving and Cassandra almost ran into her.
“Ten thousand pounds?” she repeated.
“Yes. And Paris knew because he had been through Father’s things while he was lying on his sick bed. He told me that there was no way you were getting that money and that the moment Papa died, you were leaving. I watched him burn it myself.”
Helen felt tears stinging her eyes and they spilled over as she tried to blink them back.
As Cassandra noticed, she actually looked contrite for a moment.
“I’m sorry I went along with it. It was a horrible thing to do but you’ve fallen on your feet, haven’t you?”
Helen looked at her in confusion. “You think I'm crying because Paris stole from me?”
“Well aren’t you?”
Helen smiled through her tears. “No. All these years I have wondered if Papa really loved me or if his words about that were as much a lie as his words about providing for me. Now I know for certain that he really did love me, and he did keep his word. He just didn’t count on his legitimate children being backstabbing thieves.”
“Now hold on, that was Paris’ doing, not mine!”
“And you could have told me the truth at any time. Plus, I don’t believe that there was only one copy of the Will because Father was meticulous about keeping records, so somehow the both of you conspired to get the original from his lawyer, or perhaps once you threw me out, you lied to him and told him I was dead or had eloped or something along those lines.”
“Well you can get your money back now, can’t you! The lawyer still has the original Will and you’re right, Paris did tell him that you were dead. He even got a fake death certificate.”
Helen looked genuinely confused. “You’ve just explained that your brother is horrendously in debt and you think that miraculously, my ten thousand pounds can be found?”
“Well you can get something of it back!”
“Look around you, Cassandra, do I look as if I need money? Besides which, even after everything you and your family have done to me, do you honestly think that I wish to cause you hardship? If for no other reason, I wouldn’t pursue a case because that could break up Father’s estate; he always took such pleasure from it, so it would break my heart to see Paris made bankrupt and the estate broken up.”
“So does that mean you’ll help Paris?” The look of hope in her eyes was almost pitiful.
“No, Cassandra. I won’t be the cause of his downfall but if he is the architect of his own demise, I won’t go one step out of my way to help him. Or you.”
“But if Paris is made bankrupt, the estate will be broken up.”
“Then that is God’s will and who am I to argue with that? You two always looked down on me because I was born in sin but the truth is, you two are the ones who are living in it. You’re guilty of greed, wrath, envy and pride, by my count, not to mention that ‘honour thy father and thy mother’, ‘thou shalt not steal’ and ‘thou shalt not bear false witness’ are Commandments.”
Helen resumed her journey towards the stables.
“Helen, please!”
“I’m sorry, Cassy, but while I thank you for restoring my faith in my father, I cannot help you and moreover, I will not.”
They were nearing the stables and Cassandra slowed her pace, falling behind, seemingly giving up on her quest to convince Helen to help her.
Then suddenly Helen heard footsteps running, something hit her back and she was pushed hard into the wall of the archway that led to the stables courtyard, forcing the air from her lungs.
For a moment she began to fight back, thinking Cassandra was attacking her, as she sometimes did when they were children but as she raised an arm, intending to throw an elbow behind her, she heard an almighty crash.
Cassandra stepped away immediately and Helen turned to see the carved family crest, which sat above the archway, lying in pieces on the ground. Cassy hadn’t been fighting her, she had been saving her.
Before Helen could formulate any other thoughts, they were surrounded by grooms and groundkeepers, all checking that she was all right. Alex was sent for, a group of men was sent to the first floor of the stables to see if they could discover
why the stone carving had fallen, and Helen and Cassandra were ushered into the tack room, where there were chairs for them to rest on.
Finally the head groom ushered the rest of the grooms out, and waited with them until Alex arrived. He handed Helen a handkerchief.
“You’ve got…” He pointed to her chin and cheek and now that she thought about it, those areas did sting.
She patted the handkerchief to her face and it came away spotted with blood. She realised that she must have grazed it when Cassandra pushed her into the wall.
“You saved my life,” Helen noted, sounding shocked.
“I’m as surprised as you are.”
They lapsed into silence.
Alex’s cries reached them a few moments later but Helen didn’t seem to have the strength to go to him. The groom went to the doorway and waved him over, standing aside as Alex ran into the small room.
“Helen! Oh, thank God you’re all right.” He got to his knees before her and took both her hands in his. “You aren’t hurt, are you?” he asked, noting the grazes on her face
Helen shook her head. “It’s nothing,” she assured him.
“What happened?” Alex asked the groom.
“I didn’t see, Your Grace.”
Helen felt on the verge of tears and got to her feet so quickly, that she almost pushed Alex over.
“Is Pecan saddled?” she asked.
“Um, yes, Your Grace, he’s waiting in his stable.”
Helen left the tack room and made for Pecan’s stall. She quickly got him out and was leading him to the mounting block by the time Alex caught up with her.
“Helen, are you sure this is wise?”
“I was restless before this, Alex, I need to get away for a while, clear my head.”
“Then let me come with you. It won’t take long to get Black Knight saddled.”
“No, Alex, please. With everything that’s happened today, I need to be alone for a while.”
“All right, just… be careful, please?”
Helen nodded. “I promise.”
He gave her a leg-up into the saddle and she trotted out of the yard. Thankfully the archway that led in and out was very wide and she was able to avoid the stone debris of the family coat of arms.
Love, Lies and Murder Page 18