The Plum in the Golden Vase or, Chin P'ing Mei

by Roy, David Tod

  The next day, by the time they got out of bed and performed their ablutions, Liu the Second had already brought up a serving of wine and delicacies in order to provide his brother-in-law with a pick-me-up. After they had sated themselves on this repast, served in:

  Large platters and large bowls,

  Chang Sheng got together his luggage, fed his horse, packed up the shipment of distiller’s yeast, and prepared to depart, along with his attendants.

  As he was about to go out the door, he gave Sun Hsüeh-o three taels of silver and said to Liu the Second, “See that you look after her well, and don’t let anyone take advantage of her.”

  From this time on, whenever Chang Sheng came to the canal port of Lin-ch’ing on business, he would get together with Sun Hsüeh-o in My Own Tavern; and afterwards, as he traveled back and forth, he agreed to pay P’an the Fifth a few taels of silver every month, in order to maintain her as his mistress, and prevent her from taking on any other customers. Liu the Second, out of a desire to please his brother-in-law, did not even demand any rent for her and went so far as to fleece his other customers in order to pay for her keep, and provide Sun Hsüeh-o with fuel and rice. There is a poem that testifies to this:

  Who could know at the time the way in which

  he would indulge his desires?

  Given to lust, and relying on his influence,

  his acts are unconscionable.

  Calamity does not seek people, they

  court it themselves;

  Beauty does not delude people, they

  delude themselves.

  If you want to know the outcome of these events,

  Pray consult the story related in the following chapter.

  Chapter 95

  P’ING-AN ABSCONDS WITH JEWELRY FROM THE PAWNSHOP;

  AUNTIE HSÜEH CLEVERLY PROPOSES A PERSONAL APPEAL

  Some words of admonition:

  If you are fortunate, do not expect to enjoy it forever;

  When your fortune runs out, you will be poverty-stricken.

  If you have authority, do not expect it to last forever;

  When your authority runs out, you will face your enemies.

  One’s good fortune should only be relied on providently;

  One’s authority should always be exercised deferentially.

  In this human world of ours, authority and good fortune;

  May seem to begin well enough, but often end in calamity.1

  THE STORY GOES that Sun Hsüeh-o was sold into the life of a singing girl working out of My Own Tavern. But no more of this. At this point our story divides into two.

  To resume our story, after Hsi-men Ta-chieh committed suicide, and Wu Yüeh-niang took Ch’en Ching-chi to court for it, Lai-chao, the head servant in the household, also passed away, and his wife “The Beanpole” took her son Little Iron Rod and remarried someone else. Lai-hsing was then made responsible for the gate. The maidservant Hsiu-ch’un left the household after being turned over to Nun Wang to serve as a novice. Lai-hsing’s wife Hui-hsiu had also died, and he had been some time without a spouse. The wet nurse Ju-i was in the habit of taking the baby Hsi-men Hsiao-ko into his quarters to play, and to enjoy snacks there. Lai-hsing would also provide wine and drink with her. The two of them flirted with each other, back and forth, until they ended up consummating an affair. This happened on more than one occasion, and when Ju-i returned to the rear compound, her face would be red.

  When Yüeh-niang became aware of what was going on, she gave her a dressing down; but on the grounds that:

  Domestic scandals should not be noised abroad,2

  she presented her with an outfit of clothing, four hairpins, a silver brooch in the shape of the character for long life, and an ornamental comb for her hair; selected an auspicious day for the occasion; and gave her to Lai-hsing as his

  wife. During the day, she continued to work in the kitchen, look after Hsi-men Hsiao-ko, and serve in the rear compound; while at night, she would go out to his quarters in the front compound and sleep with him.

  One day, on the fifteenth day of the eighth month, it was Yüeh-niang’s birthday, and Sister-in-law Wu, along with Wu the Second’s wife, and the three nuns, came to celebrate it with her and were served drinks in the parlor of the master suite. That evening, arrangements were made for them all to stay overnight in Meng Yü-lou’s former quarters on the other side of the courtyard, so they could listen to the nuns recite a precious scroll for them.

  During the second watch, the maidservant Chung-ch’iu, who had been assigned to look after their tea, was called for by Yüeh-niang but did not respond. When Yüeh-niang went into the master suite to look for her, what should she see but Tai-an, who was making out vigorously with Hsiao-yü on the edge of the k’ang. Upon seeing her push open the door and come in, they became so flustered they hardly knew what to do with themselves.

  Yüeh-niang chose not to say a word about it, merely remarking, “You lousy little stinker! Why haven’t you gone to the kitchen and taken care of the tea? The nuns in the other room over there have been reciting a precious scroll all day long and need some tea to drink. What are you doing in here?”

  “Chung-ch’iu has been tending the stove,” responded Hsiao-yü, “and I told her to prepare the tea.”

  With her head hanging sheepishly, she then proceeded to make her way outside, while Tai-an headed through the ceremonial gate to the front compound.

  Two days later, after Sister-in-law Wu, Wu the Second’s wife, and the three nuns had returned home, Yüeh-niang had Lai-hsing vacate his quarters and refurbished them for Tai-an to reside in, while moving Lai-hsing into what had been Lai-chao’s quarters, so he could take charge of the front gate. She then had two sets of bedding made for Tai-an, along with an outfit of new clothing, a newly blocked hat with a new hairnet, and a new pair of boots and stockings. She also allowed Hsiao-yü to put up her hair and gave her a fret to wear over it, while providing her with several gold and silver hair ornaments, four silver hairpins with gold heads, bracelets, pendant earrings, finger rings, and the like, along with two outfits of varicolored silk and satin clothing. After choosing an auspicious day for the event, she then gave her to Tai-an as his wife. During the day, she continued to wait on Yüeh-niang in the rear compound, but when the ceremonial gate between the front and rear compounds was about to be locked for the night, she would go out to sleep with Tai-an. This maidservant constantly secreted goodies of every kind and took them out for Tai-an to eat. Yüeh-niang saw what she was doing but pretended not to notice. As the sayings go:

  Those who dote on another do not see clearly;

  Those who are covetous can never be satiated.3

  When veal and wine are not doled out equally;

  Tai-an Seduces Hsiao-yü and Is Allowed to Marry Her

  Even the finest teams will split and scatter.4

  If the household is not governed impartially;

  The male and female servitors will resent it.

  To resume our story, when P’ing-an saw that Yüeh-niang had favored Tai-an by giving him Hsiao-yü as a wife, providing him with quarters of his own to live in, and bestowing new clothing upon him, he resented the fact that, though at the age of twenty-one he was two years older than Tai-an, she had not seen fit to provide him with a wife, or with quarters of his own.

  One day, in the pawnshop, he was present when Manager Fu Ming accepted a set of gold head ornaments and a gilded buckle from a customer, in return for a loan of thirty taels of silver, which he agreed to redeem, with the added interest, in a month. Manager Fu Ming, along with Tai-an, then proceeded to stow them away in the shop’s large storage cabinet.

  What they did not anticipate was that P’ing-an:

  On seeing their value, developed ideas,

  and surreptitiously made off with them, along with the box they were in, and made his way to the brothel of Wu Ch’ang-chiao, or Longfoot Wu, in the Southern Entertainment Quarter, where he patronized the two unlicensed prostitutes that worked th
ere, one of whom was named Hsüeh Ts’un-erh, and the other Pan-erh, and spent two nights with them. When the pimp of the establishment observed that he was spending money so recklessly, that his box contained gold head ornaments, and that he was flaunting silver ingots in order to buy wine, and gifts for the proprietress, he reported him to the local constable, who confined him to his room, boxed his ears twice, and took him into custody.

  It was one of those occasions when:

  Something was destined to happen.

  Who could have anticipated that just at this juncture, Wu Tien-en, who had recently been appointed to the position of a suburban police chief, happened to be riding by in the street, preceded by a pair of runners bearing placards announcing his office. When he saw what was going on, he asked who the shackled culprit might be.

  The constable knelt down before him and reported, thus and so, saying, “The person in question appears to have stolen some things and fled to the Southern Entertainment Quarter, where he has been patronizing prostitutes, and paying for them with gold and silver head ornaments. Having found this suspicious, your humble servant has put him under arrest.”

  “Bring him along with you so I can interrogate him,” ordered Wu Tien-en.

  P’ing-an was then taken to the police headquarters, where Wu Tien-en took his place on the bench, with armed lictors arrayed to either side, and the local constable dragged his tethered prisoner before him.

  P’ing-an recognized Wu Tien-en and thought to himself, “Since he was formerly a manager in my master’s household, he is sure to let me go.”

  The first thing he said was, “Your humble servant is P’ing-an from Hsi-men Ch’ing’s household.”

  “Since you are a servant from his household,” said Wu Tien-en, “what have you been up to in this brothel with these gold objects?”

  “My mistress,” said P’ing-an, “had lent these head ornaments to a relative to wear and sent me to bring them back to her. I was late in returning, and the city gates were closed when I got there, so I went to that brothel to seek a place to stay overnight. I could not have expected to be arrested by the local constable.”

  Wu Tien-en derided him, saying, “Slave that you are, you’re talking nonsense. Your household is amply supplied with this sort of head ornaments, and other objects of gold and silver. What reason would they have for turning over head ornaments like these to a slave like you in order to spend in a brothel? I imagine you must have stolen these things. You had better explain yourself if you want to avoid punishment.”

  “It is a fact,” responded P’ing-an, “that a relative of the family borrowed these head ornaments, and the First Lady sent me to bring them back. I would not dare to tell a lie.”

  Wu Tien-en was enraged at this and reviled him, saying, “This slave is really a thief. Without a beating, he will not confess.”

  He then shouted at his attendants, “Put the squeezers on this slave for me.”

  The squeezers were then fastened onto him, and when they were applied he:

  Howled like a stuck pig,

  calling out, “Your Honor, stop applying the squeezers to me. If you only let me do so, I will tell you the truth.”

  “If you tell me the truth,” responded Wu Tien-en, “I will stop squeezing you.”

  P’ing-an then testified, saying, “Your humble servant actually did steal a set of gold head ornaments that someone had left at the pawnshop, along with a gilded buckle.”

  “Why did you steal them?” asked Wu Tien-en.

  “I am twenty-one years old this year,” responded P’ing-an, “and the First Lady had promised to find a wife for me, but she has not done so. Meanwhile, she has given one of the maids from her own quarters as a wife to another household servant named Tai-an, who is only nineteen years old. It was because I was so upset over this that I stole these head ornaments from the pawnshop.”

  “I imagine,” pronounced Wu Tien-en, “that this page boy Tai-an must have been engaging in hanky-panky with Mistress Wu, and it must be for that reason that she has given her maidservant to him as a wife. Tell me the truth about it. Since it has nothing to do with you, I will let you off.”

  “I don’t know anything about that,” responded P’ing-an.

  “You are not telling the truth,” pronounced Wu Tien-en. “Subject him to the squeezers once again.”

  The attendants put the squeezers back on, which threw P’ing-an into such consternation that he called out inarticulately, “Your Honor, don’t subject me to the squeezers again. I’ll tell you all about it.”

  “Here we go again,” said Wu Tien-en. “Simply tell me about it then. I dare say it has nothing to do with you.”

  The squeezers were then released, and P’ing-an said, “It is true that the First Lady has been engaging in hanky-panky with Tai-an. He started out by seducing her maidservant Hsiao-yü, but when the First Lady discovered it, she chose not to say a word about it but actually bestowed a lot of clothing and jewelry upon her and gave her to him as a wife.”

  When Wu Tien-en heard this, he had the docket officer take a record of his testimony and make up a formal deposition. He then incarcerated P’ing-an in the police office to await the issuing of arrest warrants for Wu Yüeh-niang, Tai-an, and Hsiao-yü, so that he could hold a hearing on the case.

  To resume our story, one day, when it was discovered that the head ornaments in question were missing from the cabinet in the pawnshop, Manager Fu Ming, in a state of fear and consternation, questioned Tai-an about it.

  “I have been looking after the wholesale pharmaceutical shop,” responded Tai-an, “while you have been earning your livelihood over there. I don’t know anything about it.”

  “I put that box of head ornaments in the storage cabinet,” said Manager Fu Ming. “How could they have disappeared this way?”

  He then proceeded to look all over for P’ing-an but could find no trace of him. This disturbed Manager Fu Ming so much that he took to:

  Burning incense and swearing oaths;

  and when the owner sent a servant to redeem the head ornaments he had pawned, Manger Fu could only say that he hadn’t been able to find them yet.

  When the servant had returned several times without being able to retrieve the head ornaments, he stood outside the door of the shop and made a fuss, saying, “Those things were left with you two months ago, and my master is prepared to pay you back both the original sum for which they were pawned and the interest; so how can you refuse to turn over the head ornaments and buckle to me? They are worth seventy or eighty taels of silver.”

  When Manager Fu Ming learned that P’ing-an had not returned home that night, he realized that he must have stolen the missing objects and sent people out to look everywhere for him, but they were unable to find him.

  When the servant of the owner returned once again and made a fuss outside the door, Manager Fu suggested to Yüeh-niang that they should give him fifty taels of silver to settle the matter, but he refused to accept the offer, saying, “Those head ornaments are worth sixty taels of silver and the buckle, along with the precious stones and pearls with which they are inlaid, are worth another ten taels. So you should pay seventy taels of silver as compensation.”

  Manager Fu Ming offered to pay him an additional ten taels of silver, but he refused to accept it and insisted on continuing to wrangle with him.

  Just as they continued to argue about it, someone showed up and reported, saying, “The page boy P’ing-an from your household stole the head ornaments in question and went off to the Southern Entertainment Quarter where he has

  been patronizing prostitutes. He has been arrested by Police Chief Wu Tien-en, who is currently holding him in detention. You ought to send someone as quickly as possible to identify the stolen goods.”

  When Wu Yüeh-niang heard that Wu Tien-en was now serving as a police chief, she recalled that he had originally been employed as a manager by their household, and she invited her elder brother Wu K’ai to come and consult with her abo
ut it.

  They forthwith wrote out a claim certificate and sent Manager Fu Ming off with it, the next day, to retrieve the missing goods, saying to him:

  “If the original objects are only recovered,

  There will be no reason for further dispute;

  or for anyone to continue farting around this way in front of our door.”

  Manager Fu Ming took the document with him and set out for the police office, expecting that Wu Tien-en, out of consideration for the fact that they had formerly been colleagues, would allow him to retrieve the head ornaments. He could hardly have anticipated that Wu Tien-en would, on the contrary, revile him as an old dog, and an old slave, order the lictors to drag him down for a beating, and strip off his clothing, so that his bare buttocks were exposed for what seemed like half a day.

  Only then did he allow him to get up, before saying to him, “The page boy from your household has testified that your mistress, née Wu, has been carrying on an illicit affair with Tai-an. I have already reported this to the prefectural and district authorities and am planning to issue a warrant summoning her here to respond to his testimony. And yet, old dog bone that you are, you have the nerve to come here and attempt to retrieve the stolen goods.”

  After being reviled as a slave and an old dog a thousand, if not ten thousand times, Manager Fu Ming hastened home in a state of consternation as fast as he could go. Upon arriving there, he did not dare to conceal the truth of the matter but told Yüeh-niang, thus and so, all about it.

  If Yüeh-niang had not heard this, nothing might have happened; but having heard this account, truly, it was just as though:

  The eight-boned structure of her skull had been

  split asunder;

  Only to have poured into it half a bucketful

  of icy snow.

  She was so upset that her hands and feet became paralyzed, on top of which, she observed that a servant of the owner of the head ornaments had come back to the door, where he engaged her in:

  A vituperative altercation,

  saying, “Your household has lost track of the head ornaments and has not only failed to return the original objects but has also failed to pay anything in compensation, while tricking me into running back and forth time and again. One day you trick me into coming to pick up the objects, and another day you tell me to wait until you have recovered them. But truly, where do you expect to recover them from? How can you be so unreasonable?”