Desire's Awakening

by Gail DeYoung

  Standing before the bathroom mirror Saturday night, Kaitlin shrugged. She had applied her makeup as instructed and was satisfied that she had achieved the proper sultry look. It wasn’t that she didn’t care whether she looked presentable for the Doms and Dommes who would be attending the party tonight. Of course she did. One of them might be her potential Dominant. Her shrug was more of an acknowledgement that she had lost. Lost in her attempt to convince Sir Damien that she was sorry and would make a good sub. Here, in her final week counting down to the auction, she decided to accept her fate. She would not be bitter. She would be grateful for everything that she had learned in the past few weeks.

  She walked to her bedroom and closed the door behind her. Sliding the closet door open, she took out the outfit Sir Damien had bought her. Putting on the vest, she remembered Sir Victor’s comment at the last party and an involuntary shiver went up her spine. Though she was quite sure he would not be present to spoil tonight’s party, she couldn’t help reliving memories of the last disaster. It would be different tonight, she told herself.

  Taking a deep breath, she forced a smile and left to join the party.

  “Kaitlin!” Dr. Fischer met her at the recreation center entrance. “How good to see you again. Come on, I have someone I want you to meet.”

  She slipped her arm through Kat’s and led her across the room. Seated at the bar was a dark-haired, well-built man dressed in a pair of jeans and a tan pullover. Doc walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned to face them, Kat was surprised at his close resemblance to Tom Cruise.

  “Chris, I’d like you to meet Kaitlin. Kat, this is Dr. Segal, a colleague of mine. I told him all about you and he really wanted to meet you.”

  The man’s warm smile and solid handshake impressed Kat. He stood and pulled back an adjacent chair for her. He was at least a head taller than her.

  “Please, have a seat. Will you join us, Dr. Fischer?”

  “Actually, no. I see a very interesting sub in the corner smiling at me. I think I’ll find out what her story is.”

  “Have fun,” Kat said, watching the Domme walk away.

  Dr. Segal returned to his seat and focused his attention on Kat. His intense perusal of her from head to toe did not unnerve her as it would have when she first arrived at the house. In fact, she didn’t wait for him to ask her to remove her jacket. She stood and slid it slowly down her arms and turned around to give him a good view of her backside while hanging it over the back of the chair. Immediately, she felt the chill of the air conditioning against her exposed skin, but ignored it.

  “Very nice,” he observed.

  “So, Dr. Segal, what is your pleasure, Sir?” She leaned in to him, propping her chin upon her hand. Her tongue flitted across her top lip. He wore her favorite cologne.

  “Well, first of all, I’d like you to call me Chris and then tell me what you drink.”

  She dragged a fingernail down the front of his shirt, pausing at a peaked nipple to tickle it.

  “Is that iced coffee you’re drinking, Sir? I mean Chris,” she asked, smiling widely while eyeing his glass.

  “Sure is.”

  “I’ll have one of those, please.”

  “My kind of woman. Bartender, another iced coffee, please.”

  “Have you been in the lifestyle long, Sir?” she asked, not breaking eye contact.

  “Long enough. Are you always this forward? I thought you were a submissive.”

  “Submissive, yes. Passive, no. Does that not please you, Chris?”

  “You please me very much.” He twirled a piece of her hair in between his fingers. “I’ve found the other girls much too timid and quiet. It’s hard to have a conversation with someone who won’t make eye contact.”

  The bartender placed her coffee on the countertop. Dr. Segal nodded his acknowledgement and lifted his glass at the same time Kat did.

  “To getting to know one another better.” He touched the tip of his glass against hers.

  “Yes, ditto.” As she sipped her drink, her gaze drifted behind the doctor to a corner of the room where Damien stood watching her intently. She shifted in her chair self-consciously, wondering what he was thinking.

  “Is something the matter?” The doctor turned to see what she was staring at.

  “Oh no, it’s nothing, Sir.” She stuck her finger inside her collar and swallowed hard. “So, what kind of doctor are you?”

  “I’m a proctologist. I deal with assholes all day.”

  “Oh, I see…”

  His brow furled. “That was supposed to make you laugh. I hope you weren’t offended.”

  “No, of course, not, Sir. It’s your profession and I imagine you make a good living at it.”

  “I do all right.”

  He reached over to place his hand on top of hers. The warmth of his skin felt good against her chilled flesh.

  “Honestly, what I do may sound pretty uncomfortable, but I am very good at it. No one has ever complained.”

  She laughed nervously. How did she manage to always run into men who liked assholes?

  “That’s good to know, Sir.” His eyes were a crystalline blue, quite unusual and mesmerizing. They bored into her and she felt as though he was able to read her thoughts. She wondered if he could pick up her hesitation when it came to anal sex.

  “But enough about me. I want to know everything about you,” he said.

  She bit her lip and wondered how much she should reveal. A tap on the shoulder brought her attention to the person standing behind her. Her eyes widened as she stared into the perplexed visage of Sir David.

  “Am I interrupting something?”

  Kaitlin looked at Chris and then back at David. Though she really wanted to pursue getting to know this new man, she felt compelled to straighten out the matter with Damien and that required talking to Sir David.

  “Chris, I’d like you to meet Sir David. I’m sorry. I hope you won’t think me rude, but I really need to talk to Sir David for a few moments. Do you think we could finish this conversation later, Sir?”

  If looks were daggers, both men would be dead by now. She thanked the good Lord that both were gentlemen who graciously acknowledged one another.

  Chris lifted her hand to his mouth and placed a warm kiss on the back of it.

  “Until later.” He picked up his glass and left the bar to circulate among the crowded room.

  Sir David took the seat Chris had vacated.

  “Well, I was really hoping to have you all to myself tonight, but I see I have competition.”

  Kat shifted uneasily in her seat. She didn’t want to get Sir David upset when she needed him to tell Damien what happened when they were together. Yet she didn’t want to lead him on…he simply wasn’t for her.

  “David, I had a wonderful time with you at the restaurant. You’re a delightful man. I really like you as a friend, but I don’t think we’d be good together as a couple.”

  David’s face skewed into a hurt mask. He sighed and looked away for a moment before turning back to face her.

  “It’s the impotence thing, isn’t it?”

  She reached over to grasp his hand and noticed how cold he was.

  “David, it’s not your problem. It’s mine, Sir. I really need someone who knows what he’s doing. I’ve discovered that this lifestyle is what I want and need to make me feel whole. An experienced Dom is the only one who will complete me. I’m sorry.”

  “You don’t want to learn with me?” His plea was so touching, she almost cried.

  “No. I’ve still got a lot of learning to do myself, Sir. I feel we would only stifle one another, not grow.”

  David shook his head sadly.

  “I understand. Though I wish it weren’t so. Well, I guess there’s no reason for me to stay at this party…” He rose from his seat to leave and she grasped his arm.

  “David, would you do me a favor before you go, Sir? I know this is a lot to ask, but I truly need you to tell Sir Damien wh
at happened between us, or rather what didn’t happen. I respected your privacy by not revealing your condition, but it caused problems for me. Also, I need my collar back from your glove compartment. I almost got booted from the house for not having it on my neck when I returned.”

  David nodded. He left without saying a word and Kat worried that he would not return. She sipped her drink distractedly, waiting and watching for David’s return. Just when she was about to give up, he was back with her collar in his hand.

  She stood up to kiss his cheek.

  “Thank you. Sir Damien is in that corner. I really appreciate this, David.”

  “You know I’d do anything for you, Kat.”

  She watched as David approached Damien. He interrupted a conversation with another Dom. Though she couldn’t hear what was being said, she saw Damien nod several times and accept the collar. A sigh of relief escaped her lips. It would be good to leave with no bad feelings between them.

  She looked around the room, trying to locate Dr. Segal. He was busy talking to Dr. Fischer, who smiled and nodded to him. She hoped he had something good to say about her. Just when she thought his conversation was finished, he reached onto his belt to answer his cell phone. He turned to look at her when he hung up, said something to Dr. Fischer and headed in Kat’s direction.

  “I really wanted to stay and continue getting to know you, but I’m on back-up duty for another doctor who is on vacation. There’s an emergency at the hospital and I have to leave.”

  Kat smiled sweetly at the handsome man before her. If it isn’t one thing, it’s another.

  “I understand. Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, Sir.” She extended her hand to him for a handshake and was pleasantly surprised when he pulled her to him and planted a kiss on her lips.

  “Same here.”

  The evening wore on and she circulated the room, meeting the various Doms and Dommes. Some looked familiar as they had attended the last meet and greet, but most were new. Though she talked with quite a few of them, none of them had the same appeal as Dr. Segal. Unfortunately, with the auction the following week, she figured the chances of ever seeing him again were remote.

  Damien also seemed distant, though on constant vigil. She realized he was making sure that no incident would happen tonight to ruin everyone’s fun. He was a fine host and had a reputation to maintain.

  The hour got late and she yawned through many boring conversations. Kat felt she had spent enough time at the party where she could leave without being conspicuous. Guests were starting to drift away and the party would be ending soon. She slipped out of the room and climbed the steps. Her first stop was the gym. She walked around the room, running her hands across the equipment, looking at the TVs and peering into the sauna and steam rooms. A sad smile crept across her lips as she recalled the day she met Sir Damien in the steam room.

  Though her heart pounded loudly in her ears for fear she’d be caught, she had to attempt one quick glance into Sir Damien’s room. She opened the double doors and looked inside. The room smelled like him, a wonderful aroma she wished to memorize. Against her better judgment, she walked into the room, checked out the bathroom, looked out the patio door and ran her hands over the smooth comforter. She sighed. It felt as if it was eons ago when they had shared special moments in this room and now she had only memories.

  Tears stung her eyes. No matter what had happened between them, she knew she would always love him. She closed the door behind her, shutting out the past and wondering what the future held.

  * * * * *

  Damien said goodbye to his last guest and climbed the stairs. He noted his bedroom door was ajar and was about to storm into his room when he saw Kaitlin leaving. He ducked into the gym and waited for her to pass. Had it not been her last week in the house, he would have berated her for entering his private domain. However, he allowed her a final visit.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  The new secretary posted the week’s schedule on a bulletin board outside Sir Damien’s office on Monday morning. Kaitlin stood in front of it, chewing on an apple and examining the various times everyone had been given. Her name was missing from the list. She located Miss Theresa as she bustled about the house, talking to herself about the things she had on her to-do list.

  “Excuse me. Hi, I’m Kaitlin.” She extended her hand and Miss Theresa shook it weakly. “I know you’re very busy, but I noticed my name was not on the training roster this week. You must have mistakenly left me off.”

  Miss Theresa looked at her distractedly.

  “Kaitlin, yes. I’ve heard of you. She took a pencil from behind her ear and flipped through the pages of her notepad. She quickly scanned each page, ticking off various items with her pencil.

  “Hmmm, no, I’m sorry. Your name is here, it’s just not listed for training. Do you want to make an appointment to meet with Sir Damien to discuss the situation? I can put you down for Thursday at two p.m.”

  “Nothing sooner?”

  “No, I’m sorry. He’s got a very full calendar.”

  “Fine,” Kat said, unable to keep the annoyance from her voice.

  Miss Theresa made a notation in her book and continued on her way. Kaitlin watched her greet Mrs. Swenson in the recreation center and decided to keep far away from the two of them.

  She walked around the house, finishing the remainder of her apple and thinking about the list. The more she thought about it, the more unacceptable it became. How dare he not put her on the schedule this week! Whether or not they were on speaking terms during the day, he still had the responsibility of making sure she was fully trained before the auction on Saturday. They signed a contract.

  Kat paced in front of the metal dungeon door, waiting for Sir Damien to come out after a training session with one of the new girls. She knew better than to disturb him while he was in the midst of training, but he had a break scheduled at ten-thirty for his morning meal.

  As perfect as clockwork, the session ended at ten twenty-nine and Sir Damien walked through the door, practically bumping into Kaitlin.

  “What the…”

  “I’m sorry, Sir. I need to speak with you.”

  He looked annoyed that she had cornered him.

  “Yes, well, make an appointment with my secretary.” He continued walking down the hallway. She followed in his footsteps.

  “Sir, I did, but it’s totally unacceptable.”

  He stopped and swung around to look at her.

  “The appointment’s unacceptable?”

  “Well, yes, that too, Sir.”

  “You’re not making sense and I have things to do.”

  “Sir, the appointment is not until Thursday. I’m leaving on Saturday and so the appointment will really be too late. I need to speak to you about this week’s training schedule. My name is not on the list and that’s what is totally unacceptable.”

  “Oh I see. All right, tell Theresa that I said to schedule you after my last appointment today and we’ll talk about it.”

  “Thank you, Sir.”

  Kaitlin watched his back as he climbed the stairs heading for his bedroom. She wished he had invited her in to talk with him while he ate, but his bedroom seemed to be off-limits to her these days. She sighed and walked away, satisfied that she would have some face-to-face time with him to discuss her “situation”, as Miss Theresa put it.

  Sitting in front of Sir Damien’s desk waiting patiently for him to complete his e-mail wore on Kat’s nerves. Although she knew she should be grateful for being granted some time on his schedule to meet with him, she felt as if they had regressed to the first day she met him. His whole demeanor toward her was cool, as though what they had shared in the past month meant nothing. He finished and abruptly swung his chair to face her.

  “Okay. Why do you feel you deserve any further training, considering your recent disobedience?” She looked up from her lap to stare into his questioning gaze, then shifted her eyes back down.

  “I signed a contract w
ith you for training in order to be ready for the auction, which is this coming Saturday. If I do not complete my training, how will I be ready to move on?”

  “Look at me. Perhaps you can tell me why I should continue to train you when you do not obey the rules.”

  She raised her head and saw a hard look upon his face. Her palms began to sweat and she wiped them on her thighs.

  “Sir, those were extenuating circumstances. I believe Sir David explained to you what happened and I assume you understood why I felt uncomfortable answering your question. He also returned my collar.”

  She noted a look of pain cross Damien’s features. Why did the mention of Sir David’s name seem to bother him?

  “And I suppose you think that makes everything right.”

  “Yes, I do, Sir.”

  He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest, just staring at her. A pregnant pause between them went on until she felt as if she was a rubber band stretched too tight. At any moment, she was going break. Then he sighed, and she knew he had relented.

  “Time will tell, I guess. In the meantime, I’ll have Theresa put you on the schedule for one more session on Thursday. But that is all I can do. I have an extremely busy schedule this week because of the auction deadline and all the new girls who have just joined our household.”

  “Thank you, Sir.”

  She remained seated, contemplating the proper way to ask him if their relationship would ever be the same. No matter how she tried to phrase her question, she could not form the proper request.

  “Is there anything else?”

  “Um, no, Sir,” she said, sighing with frustration.

  “Then you are dismissed.” As quickly as he had turned his chair to face her, he swung back to work on his computer. She stood and bowed, then slowly backed away from him until she left the room. Kat smiled to herself. Though the training on Thursday was a small concession, at least she had won that.

  * * * * *

  Doc Fischer arrived Thursday morning for her appointment to give all the girls going to auction a clean bill of health. When it was Kat’s turn, she climbed onto the gynecologist table and lay silently while the doctor performed the inspection.