Waiting for Love ((Waiting) Book 2)

by Stanton, Dawn

  “What am I going to do Hails? It seems like he and I are inevitably heading toward sleeping together and it feels as though I’m just a passenger on a crazy car ride that I have no control over. It’s careening full speed in his direction and I can’t seem to stop it, no matter how much I try.”

  “If you do sleep with him, you need to be careful that this can’t come back to bite you in the ass. I mean that figuratively, not literally.” She giggles before continuing. “You need to keep your fooling around to safer locations where you can’t get caught. You guys have already taken too many chances. No guy is worth getting expelled over Shelby, no matter how hot he is. Use him for the sex, but be smart about it. You can’t let him affect your future.”

  “I know Hails, you’re absolutely right. I’m not sure what’s going to happen with this situation but I need to make sure it can’t blow back on me.”

  ***

  The frat party is going strong when the four of us arrive. Jeff and Lee are totally pumped from tonight’s game since it was against another team in their division and this win will improve their standing. We enter the house and a cheer goes up when the party guests catch sight of the guys. I try to hang back a bit and give Jeff his space, but he’s not having any of that. He grabs my hand and pulls me over next to him so he can sling his arm around my shoulders.

  “What do you want to drink Shelby?” He asks me, leaning in close to my ear so he can be heard over the loud music. This party is already out of control and I can only imagine what it’ll be like in a couple more hours when everyone is liquored up. There’s a girl laying across the kitchen table and she’s letting guys do body shots off various parts of her. There’s a keg in the corner and some of the football team members and some of the cheerleaders are taking turns doing keg stands.

  “I’ll take a shot of tequila if you have it.” If I’m going to last at this party, I’ll have to get a buzz on. There are too many drunk people already and it’s no fun being the only completely sober person in a room full of intoxicated ones. Besides, I have to stay for a while because I don’t want to leave Hailey in a lurch. She’s with Lee now, but she may want to go home at some point and not spend the night with him. This is a big step for her and I want to make sure I’m here for her if she needs me. We always have each other’s backs...hos before bros. When I glance around to see where she and Lee have disappeared to, I find them looking pretty cozy in the corner of the living room. Hailey has a big smile on her face and Lee has his arms around her. It makes me hopeful to see her enjoying herself with a guy. I’m proud of her for giving Lee a chance.

  “Here you go Shelby,” Jeff says as he hands me two shots of tequila. He grins at my surprised expression as I take them from his hands.

  “Two? Double fisted shot shooting?” I raise my eyebrow at him. “Are you trying to get me drunk so I’ll sleep with you? Because you know I’m a sure thing where you’re concerned.” I wink at him and pat his chest before I knock the first shot back. I take a moment to enjoy the after burn of the tequila in my throat before I tip my head back and swallow the second one down. This one makes my eyes water and the alcohol burns all the way to my stomach.

  “Okay, no more of those. Whoo!” I exhale the tequila fumes that are lingering in my mouth.

  “Hmm, I love tequila.” Jeff leans over and licks my lips before slipping his tongue between them. I slide my hands into his back pockets on his jeans and cup his muscular ass as our kiss continues. Jeff’s hands are on my waist, underneath my shirt and his fingers are teasingly trailing along the edge of my pants. A vision of Professor Hanlon suddenly pops into my head putting an end to any romantic feelings I was having for Jeff. I pull my mouth away and rest my head on his chest.

  “Are you okay?’ He asks me.

  “Yeah, I think the tequila just kicked in.” It’s not a full out lie. It doesn’t feel good to be kissing one guy and thinking of another. I won’t do that to Jeff, he deserves better. I don’t want Professor Hanlon coming between us. We have a good thing going and I don’t need him messing it up. I don’t want or need complications. I’m careful to avoid things that will cause them for this very reason.

  “Hey, I’m going to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” As I work my way through the mass of bodies, I make eye contact with Hailey and tip my head in the direction I’m going. She whispers in Lee’s ear and I see him hand her something before she starts heading the same way as me. We meet up in the hall and Hailey takes my arm, tugging me along, past the line of girls waiting to use the bathroom.

  “Hailey, I need to pee,” I mention and try to slow down our forward progress.

  “I know you do. Lee gave me the key to his room and he has an ensuite you can use. This way we don’t have to wait in line.”

  “Awesome.” We stop in front of the last door on the left and Hailey uses the key he gave her to unlock it. The room is large and fairly clean, considering a twenty-year-old guy lives in it. There’s a queen size bed with a black and red comforter on it. I gesture toward the bed with my head and waggle my eyebrows at Hailey.

  “This is where the magic happens,” I say with a laugh. Hailey snorts out loud.

  “There won’t be any magic happening there tonight, at least not with me.”

  “Hails, why don’t you give the guy a break. Throw him a crumb for God’s sake. He must have blue balls from you by now. You don’t have to fuck him, but you can fool around with him. Let the boy have some fun. It’s time to leave the convent you’ve been in for the past two years and rejoin the real world.”

  “Remind me why I’m friends with you again?” Hailey asks drolly as I turn the bathroom light on.

  “Because I’m awesome and you’re hoping someday my awesomeness will rub off on you.” I stick my tongue out at her as I close the bathroom door.

  Looking in the mirror, I notice how flushed my cheeks are. This always happens to me when I drink tequila. I should try to remember that because it’s not a flattering look. The only saving grace is that the lighting is dim inside this frat house, so it won’t be noticeable once I rejoin the party. I splash a little cold water on them and hope it helps to diminish the redness.

  When I come out of the bathroom, Hailey is laying on Lee’s bed.

  “What are you testing it out before you decide if you’ll sleep over?” She lifts her hand up off the comforter and flashes me the bird, before sitting up.

  “Actually, I got tired of waiting on your ass. It’s been a long day. I think I’m going to tell Lee I want to head back to our apartment.”

  “Do you want me to stay with Jeff so you can have our place all to yourselves?” Hailey shakes her head at me and looks pensive for a moment.

  “I’m not ready to have sex with him yet. It’s a big step and at this point, I’m just not willing to go there. I may have him sleep over but sleeping is probably all that will be going on.”

  We stayed at the party for another hour or so until Jeff ended up drinking more than he should’ve. We brought him home with us, and Lee helped me get him in my bed. I grabbed some ibuprofen from the medicine cabinet and a bottle of water to put on the nightstand next to him. I have a feeling he’s going to wake up with a massive hangover. I climb into bed next to him, even though we never spend the night together. I’m not missing out on my bed because he was too drunk to go home. It’s not like I’m going to snuggle up against him all night long. I like my own space in my relationships and my bed.

  In the morning, I wake before everyone else does so I decide to be nice and make bacon and eggs. I swear the smell of bacon has magical qualities because it can lure even the heaviest of sleepers or the most hungover person to the table within minutes. By the time I finish cooking the food, Hailey, Lee and Jeff are all sitting around the table.

  “Jeff, how are you feeling this morning?” I ask as I place a bowl of scrambled eggs on the table.

  “I’m surprisingly well for how many shots I did at the end of the night. I don’t remember much after
that.” He rubs his hand over the scruff on his jaw trying to look sheepish, but we all know it’s an act, so we laugh.

  “I was definitely surprised when I woke up in your bed this morning. There’s a first time for everything, I guess. Had I known all it took was getting drunk for you to let me sleep over, I would’ve done that a long time ago.” He whacks me on the ass as I place a platter of bacon on the table. I grab his hand and bend his wrist back until he cries uncle.

  “You forget I grew up in a house full of boys. My brothers are all older than me and they made sure I can take care of myself. Right Hailey?” I try to draw her into the conversation. She and Lee have both been silent since they sat down at the table and things seem strained between them.

  “Yeah, Shelby’s brothers are no joke. They put us both through some serious self-defense training before we started college. I didn’t think the bruises they gave me were ever going to go away. God that was a horrible time.” She shakes her head as she butters some toast. I know she’s lost in thoughts of Marcus and Cory and the summer it all went to shit. I glance up at Lee and he seems lost in his thoughts too. Every once in a while, he glances up at Hailey but she won’t even look at him. This is not good.

  “Lee, how are you feeling this morning? Are you hungover at all?” He shakes his head as he chews his bacon.

  “No, I really didn’t drink that much. I didn’t want to be drunk when I was on a date with Hailey.” He smiles at her but she barely looks up at him. I kick her under the table and make my eyes wide at her, trying to get her to snap out of this horrible funk she’s in. It must work because she looks over at Lee and smiles at him.

  “I appreciate you not getting drunk on our date. I find intoxicated guys so sloppy and annoying. No offense Jeff.” She smirks as she says it.

  “You’re not offending me, Hailey. I know that I’m sexy and adorable even when I’m drunk.” He flashes us his killer grin and I snort at his ridiculousness.

  “Yeah Jeff, you looked really sexy when we had to drag you here and put you to bed. I could barely control myself. I had to remind myself not to take advantage of you in your sexy incapacitated state.” Lee barks out a laugh at my reply.

  “You know you are pretty sexy when you’re drunk.” Lee pauses for effect. “I felt a little pull between us. A little sexual awareness when you had your arm wrapped around my shoulder and I was dragging your heavy ass up the stairs.” We all share a laugh at Jeff’s expense.

  Once breakfast is over Hailey and I clean off the table and load the dishwasher. Jeff goes back to my room to lay down for a little while longer. He and Lee have a meeting with their football team this afternoon and I guess the coach is a real ball buster. Jeff wants to be fresh for it so he doesn’t get chewed out in front of the entire team. As the quarterback it’s his responsibility to know the plays inside and out.

  Lee’s taking a shower in Hailey’s bathroom so I take the opportunity to ask her what the hell is going on?

  “He’s mad at me because he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said no.” She chews on her lip as she gets tears in her eyes.

  “Hailey, Lee seems like a really great guy. Jeff has only nice things to say about him and I know he’s been nothing but sweet to you. So what’s the problem girlie? Sooner or later, you’re going to have to let someone in.”

  “I know this, I really do. Mentally, I’m not quite there yet and I can’t force myself to be ready for something when I’m just not.”

  “So where did you guys leave things?”

  “He was pissed off and we didn’t talk about it after that. He didn’t say he wants to keep dating me and I’m not going to beg him to continue on the way things are. If he doesn’t want to give me more time, then he doesn’t care about me that much after all. How he handles this will be a good indication of what he’s really like.”

  “Good luck sweetie. I hope you get what you want. Just don’t be too hasty Hailey. He seems like a really solid guy.”

  As soon as both of the guys have left I get busy doing some work for school. Professor Hanlon gave us a poetry assignment and it’s due tomorrow. I’ve been putting it off for two days now. I am not a fan of writing poetry and I’m not very good at it. We have to write a poem about a first love. It can be anything that relates to first love. It can be one line or fifty lines long.

  Austin, my first love, broke my heart and I can’t say I want to be writing a poem about him. We began dating the summer before we were seniors in high school and we were together until he ended it...abruptly. We’d talked about staying in our relationship when we started college because he was going to another university that was nearby, so we would still be able to see each other. Everything seemed fine until the night before I was leaving for school. He came over to say goodbye and broke up with me...he never called me again.

  I close my eyes and try to organize my thoughts so I can tackle this assignment. I place my fingers on the keyboard and wait for the first line to come to me.

  You were my first love and together we were perfect.

  We held hands, your large palm cradling mine, making me feel special.

  When you kissed me gently on our first date, I knew at that moment we were more than ordinary.

  When you kissed me passionately on our second date, I knew at that moment, together we would be extraordinary.

  You shared your dreams with me and they became my dreams too.

  When you held me in your arms, you made me feel safe.

  You told me you’d wait forever to make me yours.

  You listened to my hopes and dreams and made me believe they could happen.

  When you made me yours...you did so, tenderly and lovingly.

  When you told me you loved me, I knew I loved you too.

  When you said I was your girl, I believed you.

  When you said you’d love me always...always turned out to be three hundred and eighty days.

  You walked away from me with no warning and never looked back.

  You were my first love and together we were perfect...until we weren’t.

  God, I hate thinking about that period in my life. I wonder if it was all a big sham and Austin was just playing the part of the doting boyfriend. Was he laughing at me the entire time or was there a point where he actually did care about me? I most likely will never know the answers to those questions, but he did teach me a valuable lesson. I trusted him enough to give him my heart and I won’t be making that mistake again. I’m not the naive little girl I was back then. He made me who I am...jaded and closed off. That’s why my sex-only relationship with Jeff works so well for me. I can’t get hurt and it’s all about having fun. When it’s not fun anymore, our arrangement will end and I’ll find someone else who’s willing to take his place.

  Chapter Six

  Mid October 2012

  I’m sitting next to Jeff, in our creative writing class, drinking the pumpkin spice coffee, he brought me when Professor Hanlon walks in. A hush falls over students gathered there. It’s as if a rock star just entered the room and all the females are waiting with bated breath. These girls are so pathetic and transparent.

  Things have settled down between the professor and I. He hasn’t cornered me in the hall or called for me to stay after class. I still feel the attraction toward him but it’s been nice not to have him on my mind so much. It’s much easier to keep a hot guy out of your thoughts when you only see them from a distance and they’re not giving you the best orgasm of your life.

  Class passes by relatively fast and as a bonus, Professor Hanlon hasn’t called attention to me, in any way. As I begin to pack up my laptop, he makes an announcement.

  “Students, please come up to my desk and pick up your graded poems on your way out.” Jeff and I grab our bags and make our way into the long line of students waiting to get their papers. As we move along slowly I can feel my stomach clenching with nerves; all because I will be near him. The closer we get to the front of the line, the more severe the nausea be
comes. I sense the pull of energy between us almost as if we’re trapped in some sort of magnetic field. By the time I’m at the front of the line, I’ve broken out in a cold sweat and my legs are unsteady. I take a deep breath and look up at Professor Hanlon as he searches the remaining papers for mine. He’s wearing gray cargo pants and a black polo. The shirt is snug across his broad chest and shoulders and I notice a hint of a black tattoo peeking out the bottom of his short sleeve. I can’t make out what it is and I’m both curious and surprised that he has permanently inked his body. He doesn’t seem like the type. When I’m finished checking out his bulging muscles, I look up to find him smirking at me. He’s holding my paper in his hand, waiting for me to take it from him. How embarrassing that he caught my perusal. This will only make his over-inflated ego, impossibly larger. I reach out my hand and snatch my paper from his grasp without looking at him again. As I turn to walk in the direction of the door, I notice he’s written “see me after class” in red pen on my paper. This is the last thing I fucking need. In the name of self-preservation, I decide to ignore his note and instead, I walk out of the room.

  I have a break for a while so I practically run to my car trying for a quick escape in case he comes after me. As I’m backing out of my space, he exits the building. I can see his eyes scouring the parking lot and if I had to guess, I’d say he’s looking for me. I’m closer than he realizes and by the time he notices me I’m shifting my car into drive. Gauging solely from the expression on his face, he isn’t pleased with me right now. Oh well, I have to do what’s right for me and that means staying away from him. If he needs to communicate with me, he can send me an email. To add fuel to the fire, I wave at him as I drive off.

  ***

  I’m sitting on my couch, my glass of white wine in hand, enjoying The Vampire Diaries episodes that Hailey and I have DVR’d. I haven’t had a chance to watch any of them since this season began and I need to catch up on what the Salvatore brothers have been up to. It feels good to have the apartment to myself. Hailey is out for the night with Lee. I’m not sure how that came about but I’m glad it did. I take a sip of wine and savor the flavor on my tongue. I’m not a wine aficionado by any means, but I know which ones I like. I stick with what I’m familiar with. We drank a lot of wine in my house when I was growing up. My dad had a philosophy that if alcohol were available at home, we wouldn’t seek it out elsewhere. It seemed to work because none of my brothers or I have drinking problems...I just have relationship problems. That’s a depressing thought. I need more wine. I refill my glass from the bottle on the coffee table and focus on the television.